Author's Note: Hey, I have a 20K word modern fantasy novella that's in the Beta reader stage. Let me know if you're interested in tearing it apart. It's available on RR, but I've got google docs of it for Beta Readers...

I woke to the sensation of some other person getting out of bed. It was such a weird feeling, I had to seriously consider whether or not I was dreaming. I wasn't in a brothel or in a brothel program in the Neuro headset. It took entirely too long to realize I was still on the Res-a-tesseract and the only girl around was Sam. I could hear her rustling around and then the door to the captain's quarters opened and gently closed. Shit. What was I gonna do now? Never before had I been in this scenario. Then again, never before had I been in the scenario of being hunted by bounty hunters, having a bounty on my head, or being on somebody else's ship. Life had gotten entirely too fucked up. I closed my eyes and willed myself to fall back asleep. I'm not really sure if I did or not, but I felt like I waited a long enough time before finally getting up to use the head. And more importantly, the Sany Box.

It was an odd feeling entering the galley. On the one hand, I was attempting to sneak through. On the other hand, I was attempting to look completely natural in case sneaking didn't work because it likely wouldn't. Sam was at the stove cooking. She didn't notice me enter and as I moved throughout the galley, she didn't seem to know I was there at all. She was wearing a single black Tee and that was pretty much it. She was making a lot of noise with her mouth while shaking her head back and forth along with the rest of her body. A staccato rhythm that might have been the drum solo if she was listening to something. Her butt wiggling back and forth, red cheeks and black panties sticking out underneath the hem of her shirt. Her tail seemed to be having a hard time keeping up whatever the hell she was listening to. Her complete distraction allowed me to get through the galley unnoticed and feeling even more awkward as apparently I was the only one feeling weird and Sam seemed to be in a great mood. I softly shut the door and flopped into the pilot's chair.

X-Talia winked into existence on one of the screens. "Good morning, Grant," she said in a very chipper tone. A large number 10 popped into existence behind her.

"Good morning," I said, not being able to muster up as much enthusiasm as the two-dimensional representation of the AI.

My eyes narrowed as the one in the number 10 behind her rotated towards the zero and then started thrusting itself into the center, in the foreground, X-Talia was giving me a shit-eating grin and waggling her eyebrows. The fucking computer was teasing me. Just then I remembered that this place was filled with freaking cameras.

"You didn't record anything, did you?"

"No," X-Talia replied, trying to look innocent.

I put my hands to my head and tried to massage my temples. Apparently, women in the real world, though I guess to be fair, X-Talia might not be considered a real-world woman, didn't follow the general notion on sex that I was taught. I understood it was illogical. If women didn't enjoy it, then the species would die out. Still, it was hard to beat years of training that only men enjoyed sex and that we were evil for it. It wasn't even a religious sentiment. I'm not even sure it was religious-based. Some societal norm that had somehow gotten passed on whether it made sense or not. In some ways however, I could understand Sam. She was cooped up on this ship, essentially alone. I can only assume that the previous guys were somewhat unapproachable, if not straight up scary.

I let out a long sigh before trying to get my mind off of females and onto something more important, like not spending the rest of my life being tracked down by bounty hunters. I wasn't really sure where to go with that. I guess really the question was how to make money and have less chance of getting caught. My entire life had been moving cargo, well, freight specifically, but that meant going from station to station and picking up known quantities of stuff that was going to another specific station. That was no doubt how the previous bounty hunter had found me. I had to find a way to work around that.

"X-Talia, we need to figure out a way we can make money that minimizes our chances of dying or getting caught. Can you help with that?"

X-Talia grinned. She popped herself onto one of the larger screens, then disappeared off to the side of it. She re-entered a moment later pushing a large whiteboard with a chart on it. Her outfit had changed from the blue and white ship uniform with the high collar and shoulder-exposing sleeve things to a blue and white outfit that made her look something like a stereotypical librarian/office worker, complete with blue light pants and formal shirt. She also had a large pair of glasses. She gave a grin before pointing at the chart with a thin stick.

"Well, technically, this is based on extrapolation. You can see here that continuing to run cargo has a very slow, but fairly steady increase in the amount of income. Of course, this will be offset slightly with ship repairs and whatnot and assumes that we're not going to be hunted constantly." She tapped the board and it changed to a different graph with another line that also increased over time. "And here you can see the chances of getting caught over time. The red line represents getting caught, the black line represents dying."

The black line was considerably smaller than the red line and was a bit more straight, kind of a general chance of death, but the red line was concerning as it meant the more stations over time we took on, the higher the likelihood we'd end up getting caught.

"What other options do we have?" I asked.

X-Talia tapped the chart again, revealing lines that climbed up considerably higher at a faster rate. She pointed to first the green line and said, "Here we have an extrapolation of how much money we might make running contraband or smuggling. As you can see, there are far higher payouts."

She shifted her stick to the next line down, the red line that was represented getting caught. "Unfortunately, chances of getting caught grow just as considerably, as well as the chance of death," she said, pointing to the black line and then pointing to a gold line. "And of course, the bounty on your head."

"So no smuggling. Got it," I said.

X-Talia tapped the board again, which switched over to a different chart. On this one, the lines were kind of all over the place with the occasional black line going above the green line, though the gold line was a bit straighter and a bit lesser.

"This is a very severe extrapolation of bounty hunting. It's hard to get an accurate count on that because I don't know what jobs we would take, I don't know what your actual skills are, and I don't know how interactions with the actual port authorities would go considering you have a bounty yourself," she said.

"Ok, let's not do that unless we find something that's clearly and obviously a winning ticket," I replied.

X-Talia nodded again and tapped the board. The scene changed to one that looked far better to me.

"Mining." She pointed at the green line. "Presuming we can get the equipment to start and find a reasonable place where we can mine pretty well in peace and not be questioned too hard at whatever smeltery we use, we theoretically should be able to produce slightly more income than we would trading while simultaneously keeping our getting caught, dying, and bounties considerably lower."

"Breakfast is ready." I flinched at the sound of Sam's voice. "What's that?"

X-Talia smiled and waved. "Oh, we're discussing various ways that we can continue making income while lowering our risk of getting arrested or killed."

X-Talia brought up all four of the graphs so Sam could see them. Sam leaned over my chair. She was close enough that I could feel the warmth from her body and smell the shampoo she used. A quick glance to my right revealed that she wasn't wearing anything to support the girls and her left breast was rather close to my face. I looked down and noted that she still wasn't wearing pants or well, a skirt. I tore my eyes away from her and focused back on the screen.

"Hmm, I certainly prefer the mining thing," Sam said to no one's surprise. It was really the only option that didn't kind of suck. “Maybe we can kind of, you know, build up a home base type thing, build rapport with the station or something, so random people don't even check on us?"

X-Talia shrugged.

"Anyway, breakfast is ready."

"I'm, um, not really that hungry right now. I'm just gonna crunch numbers with X-Talia for a while," I said, lying through my teeth. I was starving.

"Oh," there was a long pause before Sam stepped away. "Ok."

I waited for Sam to leave before returning my attention to X-Talia, who was staring at me, her head slightly cocked to one side. "Do we have any other options?"

"Salvage maybe, but I don't have enough data to even give a basic extrapolation. Other than that, maybe you could get a job on station?"

"Hell, no," I replied.

X-Talia shrugged again. The whiteboard disappeared and her clothing returned to normal.

"This isn't really an ideal mining ship."

"No, it's a pretty terrible mining ship," X-Talia replied.

"Can we change that?"

"Yes and no. It costs money either way we do it. Whether by making it ourselves with drone technology or paying a shipyard."

"Drones? Can we use mining drones to mine?"

X-Talia's eyes got wider, and she put her hands together and grinned. "That sounds like a wonderful idea."

"Can we redesign the rest of the ship to be a drone ship?"

X-Talia nodded emphatically. "Yes, and we should."

"Ok, can you give me the stats on the ship?"

A screen popped up with a whole bunch of words and numbers. Looking at it all, I didn't have the slightest freaking clue what it was saying.

"Is it possible to kind of gamify this for me?"

X-Talia giggled and the numbers changed.

SHIP STATISTICS

* Name: Res-a-tesseract

* Size and Frame: Class B, Medium, Light Cargo

* Armor: None

* Power Core: NaleCore Class B 150, 146pcu Max Output, Average usage 110pcu

* Power distributor: ShipTek Class B Basic

* Systems:

* Grave Drive: M6, Max Acceleration 6G’s

* Inertial Dampening: 6G Basic

* Computer: Mark 1 Mononode

* Sensors: Budget Short Range

* Life support systems: Basic Biological Centralized System

* Rift Ability Y/N: Yes, ArcorFTL Class B

* Defensive Countermeasures: None

* Security Systems: Cameras

* Heat management system: Single Sink Ejector (Please load new Sink)

* Shields: None

* Weapons: Twin 75mm Ripper Chain Cannons

* Basic Docking Computer

* Modules:

* Bridge

* Galley

* 2 head/sanitation units

* Captain’s Quarters

* 8 bunk Berthing.

* Cargo Hold

This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.

"Ripper chain gun?"

X-Talia grinned and pulled up a schematic of one of the chain guns on a separate screen. It looked to me like a gun mounted somewhere on the ship. It was belt-fed, which meant there had to be some type of access panel somewhere in order to actually get the ammunition in and out of it. Though, I suppose the access panels could be on the outside. "What would you like to know about it?"

"What does 'Ripper' mean?"

"Ripper is more or less an ammunition type. Each round degradates into several smaller metal shards that can chew through hull plating at close range. Not something that would be good against shields though."

"So does that mean it's good against missiles?"

"Yeah, not quite as good as a dedicated flak round, but it’s much the same concept."

"Huh?" Apparently, the Res-a-tesseract was set up to kill unshielded ships. Missiles might actually work better, but they likely cost a whole lot more. It's just another scenario where I had gotten so damn lucky simply because of things I didn't know. If the Res-a-tesseract had fired some type of normal ammunition, we'd be dead.

"So how do we redesign the ship to be useful?"

"Well," X-Talia started, "What do you want the purpose to be?"

That was a good question. Did I really want a mining barge? If I enjoyed mining, then sure, if I hated it, then maybe I'd want to go back to cargo. That made me think of the Flying Brick, how it simply latched onto a container, flew it to another system, and then dropped the container off. "Can we design something that uses containers as our mining hauler or even our drone bay?"

X-Talia put her hand to her chin and said, "In that case, we could swap out various rigs for various tasks. I like that."

I spent probably the next 30 minutes or so going back and forth with different ship designs with X-Talia. Her ability to basically pop things on the screen and adjust things on the fly was super useful, though in the end, we mostly just ended up going around in circles discussing various things we'd want on the ship and whether or not it was actually worth the effort. Eventually, my hunger got to me, and I figured Sam probably wasn't in the galley anymore, so I got up to go find breakfast.

I opened the hatch into the galley and froze. Horror crept into me, the kind of horror one only experienced when they lived in artificial environments. To the left, the table was set with what looked like bacon and eggs. To the right, Samantha was sitting in my comfy chair painting her toenails black. She was still wearing just her black tee and panties.

"What's that smell?!" I practically shouted, causing Sam to jump and drag a line of black polish across the skin of her toe.

"What?"

"The smell! Can't you smell that?"

"Smell? What, like the nail polish?"

I looked down at the little bottle, moved over towards Sam, picked it up, and took a big whiff. That was somewhat of a mistake. The smell burned up my nose and into my brain. I winced in some type of scent-based pain. Though, at the same time, I felt so relieved I couldn't be mad about it. I handed the little bottle back. "Ok. Why the hell does that stink so bad?"

"Well, it's got toluene."

"Sorry, I thought the environmentals failed or something."

"You've never smelled nail polish before?"

I made my way over to the table and sat down trying to ignore the half-naked succubus lady. "No," I said before trying to shove cold eggs into my face. I didn't look back at her. This was so awkward. Why the hell did I think it was a good idea to sleep with the woman? To be fair, I guess. I didn't think it was a good idea to sleep with a woman. I was just too busy with my stupid man brain that logic and reason had died. I essentially had to live with this girl and now things were just weird. I tried to pretend like I wasn't having a small panic attack while Sam returned to painting her toenails. I caught a glimpse of her as she stretched her leg out and wiggled her toes. The logical part of my brain trying to figure out how I was gonna live with a girl that I currently didn't know how to act around. While that stupid man part of my brain thought of how much I wanted to get back in that. I'm so fucked.

After breakfast, I went and did my visual site inspections and and replaced the heat sink into its ejector while I continued to try to avoid Sam simultaneously trying to also look like I wasn't trying to avoid Sam. It was getting more awkward and by the time dinner rolled around she was fully clothed and looking just as sick as I felt, and that's how it went for a full freaking week.

***

I jumped yet again as I found a red face staring at me when I pulled off the Neuro helmet. "What?" I said, putting as much annoyance in my tone as I possibly could.

"That can't be healthy," Sam replied.

"It's fine."

"Those things tend to cause disassociation with reality."

"It's fine," I stated again.

"Yeah, fine like killing everybody in a ship because you thought you were in a fucking video game," Sam snapped. She technically had me there.

"I was playing a tower defense game. Nothing even vaguely realistic."

"How do you even know when to come out?"

"I have the ship statistics piped into the VR."

"Fine," Sam backed off, still glaring at me.

I got out of my chair and headed to the head. After that, we both went to the bridge and watched as the timer ran down and we fell out of the Rift.

We were north of the ecliptic of some system that had a red dwarf star. The system primary shone only as a larger dot and an otherwise dot-filled screen. According to star charts, the place was inhabited, but it wasn't much, enough that if we had to send a distress call, somebody could come get us in the next week or so, but that was it. The building itchy feeling that came with Rift travel slowly faded away. I'd never understand people that actually liked the Rift. It was too weird, too fucked up.

"Anything?" Sam asked X-Talia. She wasn't specifying what she was asking for, but we all knew.

The AI avatar shook its head. "Nothing yet."

We sat like that for four hours, waiting and watching to see if anything popped out of the Rift to come after us while all knowing that was never gonna happen. If that bounty hunter person was still after me, he knew where we were going.

"We shouldn't pick up cargo at the next stop," Sam said.

"Yeah, I agree. Maybe we can pick a long jump out of the sector?"

X-Talia chimed in to Sam's suggestion. "Yeah. That would be the best idea. We'll hit one star system and go to a different one."

"There's no way to track us if we do that. Is there?"

"Not without some specialized equipment, and a lot of foreknowledge of exactly where we were heading and what our telemetry had been."

Four hours up and capacitors charged, we opened up the Rift and fell in. It was so weird to be happy to be in the eerie subspace and now that we were no longer looking for spooky stealth ships trying to catch us with our pants down, the somewhat crowded bridge became awkward again.

"We need to talk," Sam said.

I knew that this was eventually gonna happen. It was a conversation that I was trying to avoid. It's a conversation I've never had to have because I've never been in this damn situation. My last relationships ended with the press of a reset button. I took a long deep breath inward and stared out the forward viewport. At least I didn't have to look at her while speaking.

"About what?"

"Did I do something wrong?"

"What do you mean?"

"You've been avoiding me for the last week." And there it was, Sam had fired the first shots and now it was time for me to either dodge or deflect and fire back, but I wasn't really in control of this particular ship.

"I, well, I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Sam asked, sounding kind of offended. "Why are you treating me differently?"

"I don't know how I'm supposed to treat you," I said honestly.

"You have had sex before, right? You didn't seem like a virgin."

"Yes," though, to be fair, I didn't tell her that the only time that I had sex in the real world was with a lady at a brothel just to see if it was the same as the virtual world. It wasn't, but close enough.

"Did you treat the last girl differently afterward?"

"I never saw her again."

There was a long pregnant pause before Sam said, "oh." I was really beginning to hate how many times our conversations ended with Sam saying, "oh." It was like she had just learned some surprising fact about me that had everything suddenly making sense to her. Silence pervaded throughout the bridge. X-Talia's avatar looking back and forth between me and Sam. Sam made a vague, "huh" sound. Then she got up and left the bridge, leaving me and X-Talia alone.

"Do you want to talk about it?" X-Talia asked.

"Talk about what?"

"Your lack of interpersonal social skills."

"No, I think I'm just gonna go do VSI." I got up and just barely caught a glimpse of X-Talia sticking her tongue out at me. Seriously?

I made it through VSI, some scheduled maintenance in the environmental section, and a fairly peaceful night without having to talk to Sam again. It was over breakfast that she spoke.

"You like games, right?"

I poked at my omelet. It certainly wasn't the question I had been expecting.

"Are you asking me or him?" X-Talia asked, pointing her virtual fork in my direction.

"Grant."

"Yeah, I do."

"Ok. So on our next stop with the replenishment order, I'd like to add a cheap 3D printer and some stock. I could print out a few board games and we could play, maybe after dinner."

"Ok. Why?"

"You know, something we can do together that isn't, well, you know."

I caught X-Talia making a lewd gesture with her hands, mimicking a shaft going in a hole. Wish I could wipe the shit-eating grin off her face, and what was Sam on about now? She wanted to build and play board games? I had a Neuro helmet. I could instantly have any board game and people to play with. I could probably get a convincing rendition of Sam into the game, play with her, and I could do all kinds of weird deviant shit up to and including strip poker, and I wouldn't have to deal with any of the consequences that came after actually doing such a thing. Or I could just sit back and play the tower defense game I've been working on for a while because that was fun and I didn't have to deal with other people.

I opened my mouth to reply to her and caught myself. I don't know if it was the expression on her face as she waited for me to reply or maybe some subconscious realization, but at that moment, it kind of clicked. Sam was lonely. I was a loner by choice. She was here by circumstance. The whole board game suggestion wasn't about actually playing games. It was about hanging out with another person. Take the whole sex thing at face value and she was just trying to fulfill some type of social and physiological needs. I had to remember that despite her looks, I was the weird one here.

"Yeah, that sounds fine."

"Great." Sam went back to eating her omelet.

"How can I play?" X-Talia asked. A good question considering that her digital existence would not be able to join in with physical materials.

I had a shrug. "I'll play some digital games with you."

The little avatar smiled and gave a tiny little "yay."

Was I really this out of touch with people? Even the computer somehow seemed more human than I perceived my own personal being. Again, I was reminded that I was the weird one here, despite the fact that Sam had horns.