“This is a waste of time,” Vidder said, with disapproval clear on his face.
“I won’t be long,” Niklas said. “I just need a moment.”
Vidder looked eastward toward Pit Forest. “Make it fast.”
Niklas nodded as he turned to the gate of the cattle compound. He walked quickly, noticing Vidder’s clenched fist. The drone looked like he was pushing through the same constant headache that had berated Nikas over the past weeks.
Niklas stepped past the iron gate, which was partially ajar, and hurried to the Sommerfeldts compound.
He pushed the door open and slipped in without knocking. All of the Sommerfeldts sat at the table, awake and idle. They looked at Niklas in surprise before the table burst into an uproar. Trygve bolted from the table to hug Niklas with his short arms.
Lill blinked rapidly to be sure she was seeing correctly. “Niklas, thank heavens! Esther said that you were captured by Alred’s guards!”
“How’d you get away?” Ivar asked, looking both surprised and impressed.
“Glad you’re okay,” Frode said. “Thought for sure you were gone.”
Trygve’s embrace tightened.
“No,” Niklas muttered. “I’m okay.”
“Praise Kel,” Lill beamed. “You have the frez’s own luck.”
Niklas tried to smile, but knowing this reunion would be their last, he couldn’t manage it.
“Niklas, what’s wrong?” Lill asked.
Trygve looked up at Niklas with worry in his young eyes.
Niklas tried to swallow his emotions as he hugged the boy back. “I’m leaving.”
The smiles vanished from the Sommerfeldts simultaneously.
“No!” Rasmus snapped. “Niklas, you’re my friend, you can’t go! You still have to teach me how to box!”
Niklas held up a hand to silence their protests. “I think it’s in everyone’s best interest for me to go. I have caused nothing but trouble and been a burden to this family.”
Lill bolted to her feet. “Don’t be selfish, Niklas! You haven't even asked what we want.”
Niklas recoiled in surprise. “No. I guess I haven't.”
“Yeah, Niklas. I think your coming here has been the best thing that has ever happened to us,” Ivar said.
“What are you talking about?” Niklas demanded. “I haven't done anything but make your lives a living Pit.”
“Niklas, you have become one of my sons,” Frode said. “Watching you turn your back on us would break this old heart.”
“You guys are not making this easy for me!” Niklas frowned in his fury of confused feelings. “A Drone from my people is here. He told me that they need me back home.”
“One of you?” Ivar asked. “A New Sharderin? Niklas, do you really want to go back there? It sounds awful.”
“I’m going!” Niklas snapped, and Trygve stepped away wide-eyed. “Now stop trying to change my mind! There is so much you don’t understand!”
The Sommerfeldts looked at Niklas with pain in their eyes.
The young Rasmus broke the silence. “Niklas, we love you.”
Niklas flinched. “Rasmus,” he pleaded, “if I taught you how to box, you would get yourself in trouble, like me. You don’t want to be like me, Rasmus. If I stay, I’ll hang.”
“It’s not your fault,” Rasmus said. “You don’t know any better.”
Ivar shrugged. “Honestly, I’m surprised you’ve gotten so far without hanging already.”
Lill looked around frantically for her spoon.
“But you’ll come back?” Rasmus said.
Niklas shook his head. “No.”
“Niklas,” Lill said, “we can’t make your choice for you. But please, make sure this is what you want.”
“I have to. I’ve messed up too much.” Niklas nodded in resolution. “Goodbye, Lill, Ivar, Tord, Frode, Rasmus.” He glanced down at little Trygve. “Trygve,” he smiled, “I’ll always remember you.”
Tord, generally silent and in the background, got to his feet and crossed over to Niklas. He smiled sadly, and he caught Niklas in a brotherly embrace. Niklas hugged his friend back. The remaining Sommerfeldts abandoned their table and mobbed Niklas in a family group hug.
“Thank you for sharing your time here with us,” Tord sniffled. “We will cherish them forever.”
Niklas closed his eyes and savored the moment. He felt warm inside, not valor, something infinitely better. Niklas would miss it. He wished that the moment could last. It felt so right. How could something so sweet also be so bitter?
Niklas’ ears seemed to twitch, and he looked up abruptly.
“What is it?” Lill asked as they broke away.
“It’s Esther; she’s crying.”
“Well, she was earlier. She thought you were possibly dead.”
“She is crying now.”
“How do you know? She left. Did she sneak back in?”
“Can’t you hear her?” Niklas asked
They sat silently for a moment before the sound of the metal gate scraping the ground broke the quiet, and Esther's crying could be heard clearly.
“I can hear her now,” Ivar said. “Get out there, Niklas. She thinks you might be in prison.”
Niklas didn’t need any more urging. He spun and shot out of the door.
He flew into the courtyard and into Esther, who looked at him as equally startled as she was distraught.
She cried when she saw him and flew into his arms. There was no hesitation or shame in the embrace this time. “Niklas!” she sobbed freely. “I thought...I thought–”
“I’m fine,” Niklas assured her.
“You’re bleeding!” she cried as she touched the bloodied bandage on his forearm.
“I’ll be fine. I hope you’re okay?”
Her face twisted as if in pain, and she broke into a fresh bought of tears. “I saw them drag you away! I thought you were imprisoned, and the Rowans are rioting! Oh, Niklas, I was so worried! I thought you were gone!”
Niklas’ joy at seeing her melted into sickly realization as he remembered that this was goodbye, “Esther.”
“Yes, Niklas?”
“I…” Niklas stopped.
She looked at him. Why did she have to look at him like that? Now, of all times, it made his insides scream; it made him want to fight and to die. Why did he have to meet her? To grow so fond of her? He now understood why Drones and mothers weren’t meant to mix. This gut-wrenching misery was different from any wound he had sustained before...more potent than all of the fear and abuse of his childhood...more tangible than the rejection and alienations of his youth.
“I’m sorry,” he muttered sincerely. Glancing at the gate, there was no sign of Vidder. Of course, he would remain unseen. Behind Niklas, Lill peaked through the door of their apartment.
Esther smiled through her tears. “Niklas I…” She put her hand on his chest and looked up at him with big eyes. Her tear-drenched face grew soft. She seemed to glow. “I…” She closed her eyes and leaned in. She tilted her head, and her face came only inches from Niklas’. He could feel her breath on his face, making the hair on his neck stand.
What’s wrong with her? Niklas thought as he stepped away. “Hey,” he cried, shaking her a little. “Are you okay?”
Stolen from Royal Road, this story should be reported if encountered on Amazon.
She broke out of her starry-eyed stupor, confused. “What?” she asked, looking embarrassed and disappointed.
“Sit down.” Niklas insisted. “Lill, I think Esther needs help.”
Lill smacked her own forehead with her palm. “You ignorant boy,” she muttered, but she hurried over to Esther.
Niklas wanted to say goodbye, but it was the last thing he wanted to do. He couldn’t do it. He nodded once and turned away, pushing the compound doors open as he ran.
He bit his tongue to hold back the bitter taste. He didn’t see Vidder anywhere, so he just pressed on going anywhere away from the compound. The bright moonlight threw his shadow in front of him, reminding him that he was once again alone. Gyva had been cruel, and now he had no choice but to move wherever she seemed to want him.
He could already hear Edgar’s chastening voice telling him to think his own thoughts and make his own choices. But Edgar was wrong. In the end, things weren’t in his control. He was just a pawn that the gods seemed to enjoy playing with. What was the point in even trying?
“Niklas!”
Niklas turned to see Esther running after him. The light reflected the apparent concern on her face.
“Niklas… where are you going?”
A lump formed in his throat, and he nodded, not trusting himself to use words.
“Are you okay?” she asked. “It’s late. The Rowans are out. It’s dangerous.”
“Home,” he rasped.
“What?”
“I’m going home, Esther.”
She recoiled as though his words burned her. “Niklas...this is your home. Here with us. With me.”
Why did she have to follow? This was already hard enough as it was.
“No, Esther. I’m not one of you.” Niklas said, “I never will be. The only thing I seem to do is destroy everything you build.”
“No!” she cried as she ran up to him. “Niklas. That’s nonsense, and you know it.”
Niklas shook his head. “I need to go.”
“Were you even going to say goodbye?” she gasped as fresh tears started to run down her face. “Do we really mean so little to you?”
“No, of course not.” Niklas groaned. “You mean everything to me. It just hurts so bad.”
“And how do you think it would make us feel if you just vanished without saying goodbye? Did you even think about that? Or are you really so selfish?”
“I told you I was going. You knew I couldn’t stay from the start, so why are you so surprised now that it’s my time?”
Her shoulders slumped. “I knew you had to go...I had just hoped.”
“Esther, I care for you and your family. I truly do! That’s why I need to go. That’s why you must let me go.”
“You really think you are better off with the demons and monsters of Pit? I saw the marks on your body. They hurt you. I won’t let you go back to that!”
“Esther, this is exactly what I’m talking about!” Niklas said, growing stern. “Demons and monsters? You people are so primitive and superstitious.”
“Why are you saying this? Niklas, I need you!”
“You need me?” he echoed in disbelief. “Stop lying to yourself. I really have no place with you. I am a Sharderin Drone, and you are a Relrin Mother. If you really think that you and I can actually be friends, then maybe Wilbur was right about you!”
Esther gasped and looked at Niklas in disbelief.
No man or animal made a noise. Just her heavy and laden breath.
The twisted guilt that had haunted Niklas before returned. His wounds throbbed, and his stomach churned. What had he done? He now understood why Gyva was toying with him so cruelly.
He could see the hurt on Esther’s face. She had forgiven him, and he had gone and hurt her again.
“Esther...I, I didn’t mean that.”
“I think I understood you clearly,” she choked. “You are a cruel man, Niklas.”
Her words punched through him like bullets. “No, I…” but he stopped himself as it sunk in. He bowed his head in quiet acceptance. “You’re right. This is why I’m going. My people are the wolves of this world. How could I hope to be with you? I was a fool. Forgive me for ever coming here.”
“Why?” she sniffed. “Why come and live with us, laugh with us, eat with us, and protect us just to now run away?”
“Because I am the fool.” Niklas stepped closer to her, but she shied away as though he were a snake. He winced. That cut deep. “I don’t know.”
“Well, that’s a daft horrible reason to leave us all. How do you think the Sommerfeldts will feel?”
“They know.”
“What?” she gasped. “Am I the only one who didn’t know?”
Niklas nodded.
“Niklas?” She started crying again. “Why?”
“I am so sorry. I thought this was what I wanted, what I needed, but now I see this is what I can’t have.”
“Gah, men!” Esther cried. “I thought you were different. I thought you were special. You’re the worst of them. And to think I was ready to follow you!”
“What?” Niklas demanded in confusion. “Why would you follow me? I come from Pit.”
“That’s not what I mean!”
Niklas shook his head. “Most of the time, I don’t know what you’re talking about anyway.”
“You are such an ignorant fool!”
Niklas nodded. “That may be true. But I can see that our friendship will only lead to disappointment.”
“Friendship? Is that all I was to you? A friend?”
He looked at her blankly. “What else?”
“You’re a monster, Niklas. Why would you make me believe that you were interested?”
“Interested in what?” Niklas demanded as he grew more confused. “I am a Drone. I fight, work, and die, and that is all.”
“What about life? Happiness? Don’t you want a family?”
“I had a family, Esther. Your people slaughtered them.”
She groaned to herself and glared at him through teary eyes. “There is nothing but bitterness in you, is there?”
Niklas hung his head and turned away. How could he explain? She would never understand. They were different beings. He knew only pain and discipline. He was raised in pit and rejected by his father's people.
She was a Mother, beautiful and sweet. She was cared for by a family that loved her. They couldn’t coexist safely in the same land.
“Niklas?” she begged a final time. Her voice was so sincere it caused a surge in his chest to stir, triggering the med cramp.
“Everything I touch burns. Goodbye.”
He started to walk away, leaving the trembling Relrin Mother behind.
“Niklas!”
He set his jaw and doubled his pace, unable to bring himself to look back.
“Niklas!”
He walked, leaving everything behind, hoping and praying he would be able to forget it like a bad dream. He walked, abandoning the piece of himself that would always remain with these people.
He had seen his father's people, and he had had enough. He never wanted to set foot on this land again, Not even on the day of retribution. It was not what he had expected. It was different, and it wasn’t for him.
He left the village not as the broken faceless he had entered but as the Drone he was programmed to be.
Vidder melted from the shadows and jogged over to him.
Niklas’ eyes were dry but itchy and puffy. Vidder looked relieved to see him. “What took so long? You ready, soldier?”
“Let’s go,” Niklas said. “I’m done with this place.”
Esther sunk down onto the dirt as she watched Niklas walk away. Was this really happening? The feelings of loneliness gripped hold of her again. Ever faithful and diligent, it filled the space that Niklas had warmly claimed over the past weeks, leaving her empty and cold. She watched him until he rounded the corner and disappeared. He was actually going, and he didn’t even look back.
She watched the slight hill he disappeared over, knowing fully that her prayer that he would turn around and return would go unheeded.
She was agitated and couldn’t hold still, but she didn’t have the will to fidget or move. Niklas had come and changed everything; he had been charming and respectful, but it was all an act. He had convinced her that there were still good men in the world, that she would be able to be happy, and that she didn’t have to subject herself to one of her dirty and wretched admirers to start a family.
But now he was gone. And so was her hope of companionship. But why? A hot, twisted pulse of realization churned inside her. She had hoped that he could accept her. That they could be happy together. He seemed so sincere, which only made his betrayal hurt even worse.
The pain.
She doubled over and gasped as she covered her mouth. She wouldn’t cry. Not again.
She was alone again. Her shoulders trembled and shook as she tried to hold it in.
It was all a lie. Niklas’ smile, eagerness to help her learn how to read, and breaking into a paramount’s yard just to see her was all just a stupid lie.
She was overcome, and she began to sob in the dirt by herself. She cried for the hurt of disappointment, for the ache inside, for having been used yet again, and it wasn’t fair.
She cried alone under the bright blue moon as she was abandoned by the man she had foolishly started to feel hopeful for. They hadn’t known each other long, but he was an alien among them. Ignorant, dangerous, and so hopeful.
She lost track of time as she cried. Her tears were her only company. They seemed to console her in her grief. They helped ease her pain, but they didn’t wash it away. She cried until she had no more tears.
She sat in silence. She had to be strong for her brothers. She had always been strong for them.
She tried to swallow her grief as she gathered the strength to pick herself up and walk back to the compound. She shook as she wiped her eyes, but with determination, she headed back to the compound.
As she approached the steel gate of her home, something was off. The heavy, rusted gate that usually welcomed her home stood dark and imposing. Despite it being the middle of the night, it was abnormally quiet. She felt like she wasn’t alone.
Her pain began to melt as it was replaced with unease. “Hello?” she called as she looked around.
She looked back at the gate. It seemed to want to warn her to run. She couldn’t see anyone, but she could feel something. The hair on her neck stood straight.
She remembered the warnings that she had heard from Robin about the murderer who had killed men in the yard. Her heartbeat picked up as she ran to the dark gate. She threw her weight into it, and it groaned as it swung open. She quickly slipped in and closed the gate behind her.
She turned to find Lill and Frode waiting in the courtyard illuminated by dim lantern light. They looked at her, worried as she entered.
“Did you catch him?” Lill asked.
“Why are you still up?” Esther asked in surprise.
“We wanted to make sure you were okay,” Lill said. “I was hoping you could convince him to stay.”
“We need to go inside now.” Esther interrupted. “Something is wrong.”
“What? With Niklas?”
“No, something else.”
“What?”
“I don’t know.”
Esther was interrupted by the sound of footsteps outside. She peeked between the gap in the gate to see dozens of figures nearing the entrance.
“Get inside!” Esther cried as she pushed the gate closed and slid the bolt. “John, Robin!” She cried as she rushed away.
A bright light flashed from the outside, and the massive gates warped with a hum for a moment before they bucked and were ripped from their hinges.
They flew into the courtyard, narrowly missing Esther as they slammed into the ground. Sparks spat in all directions as the gate screamed, grinding against the stone courtyard floor.
Esther screamed, and dark, gun-wielding men flooded into the courtyard. Several gunshots sounded, and Esther dropped to the ground and covered her head.
“This is the place!” someone barked. “Burn it down!”
“Everyone, wake up!” Lill screamed as she dropped to the ground.
Frode struggled to follow but seemed to fight against his old joints. A man with a rifle rushed up to him and struck him with the butt of his rifle. Frode collapsed and didn’t stir.
“No!” Lill screamed. “That’s my father, you bastards!”
Confused people began to stumble out of the apartments of the compound. A few herdsmen in their underwear came out with pistols, but seeing themselves hopelessly outnumbered, most of them dropped their weapons and threw their hands in the air.
Esther looked to see the large man shouting orders. A large metal ring with glowing golden runes was wrapped around his forearm.
“No!” she gasped in recognition of the artifact. A Paramount. Attacking a cattle compound? But why?
A man stood over Esther and pointed his pistol at her.
“No!” the Paramount barked. “She’s a civilian!”
“She may look it, but she’s no civilian.”
She recognized Wilbur’s man Arth standing by the Paramount.
“She’s a witch,” Arth said as he crossed over to her. He drew his own pistol and crouched down next to her.
Esther tried to scream as she felt Arth place the barrel of his pistol to her temple, but no noise came out.
“Don’t let looks deceive you. She needs to die.”
“Wait,” the Paramount commanded.
Esther found her voice. But not rational thought. She thought of the one thing that had made her feel safe.
“Niklas!” she screamed.