......‘I’m right. Aren’t I? You’ve never had to do a brave thing in your life have you? That’s why you joined the company, that’s how you got here.’

Drift (Pt2)

The water looked pretty washing over my feet. The incisive precision of the bird’s words echoed in my mind. I had been a scoundrel.

‘Well I did join the company, that’s a brave thing.’

It chuckled. ‘Yes. And you’ve had a jolly good time ripping them off ever since.’

Maybe I would have been better off diving from the raft and meeting whatever crocodile or school of piranhas that may be lurking at the bottom.

If it wasn’t to be on shore it would be on the hull, if not on the hull it would be down there, my fate seemed sealed in the guts of something else. A needle of courage shot through me and I jumped to my feet. It’s a strange feeling to stand at the edge of destiny, to stare into the unknown, into fear, and tell it to do your will. To say if you won’t move out of my way I will move you.

‘That’s it Phillip, you have to get angry, like seeing a jaguar that wants to pluck the feathers off your nestlings.’ Said a deep voiced bird.

‘Like it has your mate in its jaws and won’t stop chewing.’ Said Ted.

With a diving stance I stood and took deep breaths, my belly steeled for the journey into the maw of uncertainty. I could imagine the beast of the woods reeled up on its back legs, an enormous cat wanting nothing but for me to wander into its lair. The others would never find me, if they were even looking, if I were torn to pieces in the lair of such a monster. I felt the determined expression on my face melt and my tensed and ready muscles subside. A thought is all it took before I sank back into my position among the birds and I could feel their hard stare rake my naked back. Mocking laughter followed from all around me.

The sun turned from a bright yellow ball to an extraordinary mosaic of oranges and reds filtered through the peaks of the canopy. The birds sat with me, I presumed they had become tired of circling overhead and as I had demonstrated in spectacular failure of will that I would not fight when they wanted to start eating. The temperature, too, was falling. It was around that time that my weary body gave way to my weary and defeated mind. Wings grabbed wind as I collapsed on the hull and I stared into beautiful eternity.

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‘You’re going to die here.’ Ted said to me.

I awoke to the sticky heat of a brand new day with a sun beaming in my face like a toddler expecting a chocolate with outstretched fingers. Something snapped in my ear and I looked down to my elbow, there was a vulture with his beak dug into my red flesh. A delayed reaction later and I screamed and swiped at the deplorable creature in a panic, it jumped backward and stared at me with its wings spread.

‘What in fresh hell Ted?’ I said.

‘Well if you’ve resolved to death on this hunk of wood then so be it and let us eat.’

‘You’ll all be hungry today Ted, try that again and you will rue the day you met Phillip Roth!’

‘As if I don’t already.’

My muscles tensed while I stared into the charcoal eyes, a sense of rejection crept into my mind, forcing my blood to run hotter than the air. Then a thought whistled into my mind as does a cannonball before it penetrates the broad side. I put my anger down with cunning in my heart, and I feigned my emotions.

‘I’m sorry, my friend. I have no right to be angry at you.’ I stared into the abyss of the jungle, finding that the shadow took no rest all night.

Ted laughed in windy screeches before he spoke. ‘My dear boy, you don’t have the first aggressive bone in your body. How is it that fate lead you of all people here?’

It seemed I was to pull off my ruse. ‘Come closer Ted, and I’ll tell the tale.’

With a slumping gait the vulture shimmied over with its claws clacking the deck to join me at the edge of the vessel. He was within my reach but I knew it was too early to snap my trap, only a second I would wait, only a second until I could wrap the creature in my grasp and wring its neck until it stopped flapping. The very thought of sinking my teeth into its gamy flesh was exciting, like a lion watching its prey on the Savannah, patient now, just another moment.

‘Ted.’ I said. The bird stared through me.

My arms were primed to strike, and I turned my torso that I might get a better lunge. I leaned in close and licked my top row of teeth. A groan from my gut bellowed, giving away the game. The bird shrank backward and I took my chance and lunged, I wrapped my arms and clenched them close to me, I remember screaming with a victorious roar. What I hadn’t noticed is that the bird looked down upon me from the air. The bird saw the sullen shadow of a man, a withered husk. When I looked up I threw my fists toward Ted who snickered his ghastly, windy laugh.

Rage built inside me as the circle of vultures blocked the sun one at a time casting a swirling black shadow down. The blister on my shoulder found friends of its own, I stuck a finger into one of the fleshy domes which burst shooting new pain to my spine. White pus oozed from its edge and I wondered how much longer I could stand baking in the heat before I would force myself to venture onto shore. The veins of my wounded hand turned a sickly black color and I couldn’t guess how long before it would rot off, if it didn’t travel up the rest of my arm first. The jaws of danger that awaited me on shore seemed so much more insurmountable with such a handicap. My depression was remarkable, accompanied by an ever broader range of doubt. The day waned on, regardless of my wishes for death. My tears burned down my cheeks to be stolen by the ball of molten hell that lingered in the sky.