Track 02: NREM

I call the elevator as soon as I walk into the lobby, already telling it to take me to the 10th floor, wordlessly. The mentally activated subroutines are second nature. Once inside, I feel like I can finally relax. The rubber band snaps and I want to collapse. It’s been a long ass day and way too many emotions. And I swear if another thing happens…

The elevator dings and as I walk out and trudge to my door. My eyes lock with the cutie down the hall. She fiddles with her keys and gives me a confident smile. Instant butterflies. We’ve never talked but sometimes I catch her at the end of one of her shifts and she gives me a smile that almost seems like an invitation.

Neighbor cutie is curvy. Like the kind that if any of the Renaissance era painters had any sense, she’d be their muse. Her smile was crooked and filled with promises of secrets. Something about her PsyTech jumpsuit and the tools hanging off her belt let me know she’s way more than capable. The tiny bits of customization like the handkerchief wrapped around her hair to sit on top.

Psytech is an amazing company to work for. If you're actually an engineer there you’d have to graduate top of your class and have some crazy experience just to get considered. With their signature turquoise jumpsuits, they work on implementing The Mind-Link Psylinks into everyday tech. They are the ones behind the telekinesis engine that have a bunch of people working together to move rubble in emergencies and even construction projects. Fucking telekinesis in our time?! Robero might have finally got flying cars off the ground, but they are still mostly prototypes after three years. The fact she works there means she’s probably working on the cutting edge.

If I had half a bit of confidence, I’d walk over there and get her contact and invite her for a nightcap. She’d probably end up turning me down. There’s just something about her that makes me feel like a kid again. Even though Misha and I are doing whatever we are, we aren't exclusive. Nothing is stopping me from walking across the room and talking to her. Before I even make my mind up, I’m walking down the hallway.

“Hi.” I try hard as fuck not to let my nervousness show in my voice, but just being this close to her has my heart beating so fast I hear it in my ears. A small warning flash in the corner of my health readout saying that my heart rate was increasing rapidly and to monitor it.

“I was wondering when you’d actually come over and say hi.” She smiles up at me. She’s obviously still pretty tired. It’s the small hours of the morning, she’s just shining through it. It’s contagious because it feels like the last few hours didn’t happen.

“It took a while to get my confidence up. I’m Mix, Mix Rhapsody.” I lean into my nervousness a little and put my hand out for a shake.

She looks from me to the hand and back again, a smirk coming to her face, and she shakes my hand. “That’s an interesting name. I guess I’ll have to update you in my group chat from cute party guy.”

“I’m talked about in your group-”

“Gabrielle Johnson.”

“You work at Psytech, right?”

“Yeah,” she spins and shows me her vivid jumpsuit. “The uniform give it away?”

“Yeah and honestly I’m kind of a Psylink nerd, so you being so cute wasn’t the only reason I wanted to talk to you.”

“Alright, that was kinda smooth. You get points for that.”

“Points? Are we playing some kind of game?” The more we talk, the more I lean into her. She really is just pulling me into her orbit. I have absolutely no qualms about it.

“Yes, of course. Keep up or you’ll start losing points.”

“Yeah, I gotta win.”

“Are you competitive, Mr.-”

“Actually, I’m Non-Binary. So M. or Maestrum works.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. My bad.” She scratches the back of her head through her afro.

“No worries.” I chuckle. “We just met.”

She shifts her body weight and I notice the heavy tools in her hands. I can tell that it’s probably too heavy.

“I’m so sorry. How rude of me. You’re just gettin back from a long work night and I’m keeping you from-” She puts her hand on my chest to stop me from spiraling. The arm had a few black lines that centered on each of her joints standing out from her skin tone.

“It’s okay. I do have to turn in but, I really wanted to talk to you.”

“Me too.” I say genuinely and after we just stand there in companionable silence just looking at each other for a moment. “Gabrielle, about your arm-” She winces.

“Max!” My neck snaps back and my brother is there, right in the middle of the corridor. The hard look on his face makes me think something is wrong.

Carter is dressed smartly in a slightly rumpled gray suit with a sky blue shirt for a pop of color and a black tie to keep it classy. His signature gold-rimmed glasses take it to another level. There’s a lot of things we got from our parents, but we definitely learned to dress. He had me out here looking shabby with my new fit.

“I think this is my cue to leave.” Gabrielle slips into her apartment. “Until our next late night rendezvous.” The door slips close before I can even say something.

“Carter? What’s wrong? Is it Mom?” I give him my full attention even though I want to do nothing more than knock on apartment 108’s door. I didn’t think it was my last chance, but almost like this night was never gonna end.

“Nothing,” Carter says, looking and speaking uncomfortably. “I just wanted to see you.”

“At 3 am?”

“I just got off work and I know you keep late nights.” There’s something in his face that gives me pause. “I really just wanted to check in.” He sighs.

“Okay.” I walk over and open my door and fish out my keys from my pocket and let him in. “Next time call first, little bro.” I chuckle.

My apartment looks exactly as I left it. A cramped studio apartment with cozy nooks and my whole gamer deck rocking in the north corner. My retro music collection with CDs, cassettes, and vinyl all chilling out in the storage under my bed. Which faces out on the city in a perfect view of both the bay and the ocean, with the skyscrapers and neon buildings holding up the sky. It was my oasis. My calm. And I don’t normally have people here.

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

Carter’s laser eyes locking onto the mess probably don’t see it for the wonder it is for me.

Yeah, there are probably more empty glasses I haven’t gotten around to cleaning up yet. I just can’t think of this place as anything short of home. Clothes strewn everywhere, trying to pick out my clothes for tonight only to pick my best sleeveless hoodie and jeans with a new jacket from Swerve School. Not the best fit. It gets the job done, though.

“Your apartment-” Carter says

“Don’t start. This is my home, and it has windows.”

“Windows?”

“Do you have any idea how hard it is to get windows on this side of town? No? Didn’t think so.”

He holds his hands out in a calming gesture. “I’m sorry. This isn’t why I’m here.” The aggrieved expression on his face hasn’t left since he made himself known. There’s some kind of pain there.

“Then why are you here, Carter?” I sigh. “You turn up in the middle of the night while I’m finally talking to the cute woman who is on my floor. Excellent timing, by the way.” I take a soda out of my crowded fridge and toss him one of Misha’s beers. He catches it and opens it barehanded. He takes a sip, looks down at the bottle to see the brand, appreciation on his face all while I’m waiting for him to answer.

“I got a good friend with expensive tastes.” I say off-handedly.

He gives me a look that says really nigga? Crazy side-eye. “Just a friend.”

He walks over to the window looking out on the city. “Let’s go to the boardwalk. I miss going there with you.”

“That’s not what I asked…”

We sat quietly in the street car watching the world go by, even the latest partiers leaving the bar, some people starting up for the earliest of mornings beating the sunrise. He stares off in the middle distance, probably checking his mail or checking up on his patients. Doctor Alleyne is very much in demand. Being a prodigy and graduating from medical school at twenty-four. While he still is a resident surgeon, he’s already getting honors. I think he had an interview on a medical podcast a few weeks ago; I heard he killed it. That makes me really proud of the man he’s become. My brother, the star surgeon.

Eating kebabs from the early morning vendor, we enjoy the view of the beach on Oceanside. Why is he up so late? He says something about the late night partiers and for the surfers after the first waves of the morning. Chatting with him for a minute was nice. He tells us about his favorite early morning patrons as we gobble down the greasy meat. There’s something wonderful about greasy food right before the sun comes up at the end of a long night.

“Our parents asked me to check on you.” Carter finally says with the dark ocean in the background, waves crashing against the pier. A buoy floats as the sky is slowly lightening. A security drone makes its patrol over the waves. It’s a while before I say anything, really enjoying the companionable silence that only comes with over twenty years of knowing someone whose blood is yours.

“I guess I can’t really be surprised.” I sigh. “What’s the worry this time?” Slumping my back toward the railing. “They don’t apply themselves. They’re too antisocial. When are you coming to see the family? This whole Non-binary thing being a cry for help or something. That’s what they’re saying.” I sigh. “It’s always something.”

“Can you blame us?” Carter looks over to me, his glasses shining in the low glow. “It feels like this came out of nowhere and you changed your name, our last name, and you kept just moving away from us.”

“I want my own life. A life where I didn’t have to fit in a box for someone else.” It’s the same thing all the time. I wanted something for myself and they couldn’t handle it. “And I visit you. I saw you last-”

“Last year. You came by my place last year.” He says frustratedly, “Look, I know you’re busy, but we miss you. I miss you.”

“You can’t get my name right.” My tone is dry. “You called me Max. My name is Mix. Fucking Calla gets it. Why can’t you?”

He looks taken aback for a moment and looks at the planks of tired wood beneath our feet. “It’s not that I don’t understand, it’s just that we were brothers and I guess I’m still grieving that loss.”

“Just because we’re not ‘brothers’ doesn’t mean we aren’t family and siblings.” It might have been cruel, but I kinda feel the air quotes are necessary. “No matter if I’m Mix or Max, I will never not be the person you grew up with. I am not a different person. I'm just not afraid of being myself.”

As we walk down the pier, the sun rising behind us; we hear a crash and before I know it I’m taking off. The footsteps behind me tell me that Carter’s right behind me as we come to the place where the kebabs stand used to be. We find a horrible misshapen wreck. The metal bent and twisted while broth, meat, and vegetables were splashed all over the boardwalk. As we search the area for the man, we see a black ash outline on the deck. It was the exact size and shape of the man…

As I look around, I notice we’re alone on the beach. There’s no one out. Not even the handful of surfers we saw riding the first waves of the morning. Cars are still here but not a soul on the beach to watch a Saturday morning sunrise. I see a lonely floating surfboard floating in the ocean.

“What the fuck?!” I feel my whole body seize up and my chest gets tight. Carter taps my shoulder and it staves off the panic.

I look to where he’s pointing and a massive man in what looks like an all-black chroma key body suit. It's lifting a strongly built surfer woman from off her feet by her neck. In one hand, it was crushing her windpipe. The woman looks to be taller than even Carter and the way she was bashing her assailant's arm, even bloodying her own fists. There was no give, and I knew instantly if that man, that thing, turned its eyes on me, I would be dead.

Before he or I could do anything, the shadowman brings up their other hand, and a flash comes from in it and the woman is gone. Just gone. Ash falls down to create an outline on the ground below. Her exact body shape now appears on the ground. I couldn’t help it, I scream. I don’t even know the sound is coming from me before it’s all I can hear. This is like something from the last Sci-Fi movie I watched. Holy shit.

“Run, we have to run, Carter.” Carter stands by me, motionless. I slap him across the face. Smack, the sound reverberates in the stillness. “We have to go, now!” He finally understands and runs. I take off after him. I’m directly on his heels. And then it happens.

A sharp pain in my chest tears through me and instead of seeing the back of Carter’s head, I am seeing the bottom of his shoes. Crashing to the ground, I reach for him and call for his help, but the only sound that comes out in a wet rasp. I roll over to look down and myself and I see what could only be a bullet hole. I only now remember the sound of the gun going off. There’s black pooling around the edges of my eyesight. I could tell I was gonna pass out from the pain alone.

I hear whirring that reminds me of servos and the thumping of heavy boots on the boardwalk. The soulless creature looks down at me and raises its hand. An energy and a light builds from within the man’s hand. And I am ready to be no more.

And no more I am.