Moving on Relation
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I made my way to the classroom, which was unusual to say the least. If I come to the first-period lesson on time then something is brewing in the world or inside me. What else but a life-shattering event can force me to wake up on time.
Maybe it was a dream? Maybe. Not that I can remember them anyway.
Still, there was something bothering me right now. At the back of my mind, there is something picking at me. What exactly? If only I knew, lately it feels like I’m being bothered by the smallest thing.
And I don’t know what, something that is indescribable… Indescribably annoying.
Hmm.
I probably need to stop complaining about every single thing, or at the very least about things that I don’t understand.
As I continue to muse without paying much attention to my surroundings, I bump into something. Or to be more precise someone.
The person is very firm and does not budge. As if I ran into a very, very tough rock.
“Good morning.” Someone calls to me, disrupting my thoughts in the process.
…That voice is unfamiliar, not the one I expected to hear.
I look to that someone who is standing in front of me.
…?!
Two crimson orbs are staring at me, no, staring through me. An irregular colour that should not be looking at me.
The eyes and the sensation of bumping into the person made me think it was the girl I know.
But it wasn’t Harumi, it was someone else. The gaze I know lacks anything in them, emotion, feelings, or any other thing similar to that. These eyes on the other hand are cold yet filled with many different things that Harumi completely lacked. Therefore, this could not be her.
“Is something wrong? You’re making a strange face.” Again, the unfamiliar voice talks to me.
The girl has an unusual appearance. A darker shade of skin, unlike people with a tan her skin tone was natural. Blonde hair, the same as with the skin tone it was natural, even if the combination of these colours is not natural. A foreigner, that was obvious as day.
I didn’t care about that.
It’s the eyes that make me completely freeze. A normal human cannot have eyes like that.
Then does that mean…
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"** *** ****. ****, *****, **** *** ***** ** * *** ***** ***."
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"***. *** *** ***** *** ****. **** * *** **** **** ****."
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A cold chill ran through my back.
“…” I snapped out of my daze, something within me is sounding alarms and putting me on guard. “Do… I know you?”
The foreign-looking girl seems to consider what I just said. I do get the feeling that I saw her somewhere but where.
But those red eyes, they are like the ones Harumi has.
Are these two related?
How could they not be? But in what way?
And I get the feeling that I’ve seen her somewhere.
“No…” She still is analyzing me. “I wanted to talk to you.”
“Me?”
What could this be about?
“You should stay away from her Suzuki-san.”
...Huh?
“…Huh?” I gave sound to my confusion.
The start of this conversation threw me completely off. ‘Her’? Who is this girl talking about?
“You have been spending a lot of time with Th-… Harumi, so I came here to give you a piece of advice. Stay away from her.” The foreign-looking girl continues her spiel, not paying attention to my confusion.
“No wait, I don’t really get what you’re talking about.” …Wait a second didn’t she say something strange? “And how do you even know my name?”
“I’ve heard about you. Koshimizu-san seems to dislike you quite a lot.”
“No shit, she hates me. What you just wanted to see the person himself in person?”
“No. I just came to warn you, to stay away from Harumi.”
That’s it.
“And why should I do that?” it was a rhetorical question.
‘She’s dangerous.’ Would without a doubt be the answer as any normal person would say that.
But…
“…” to my surprise… “Is it okay for me not to answer that question, it’s rather personal.”
She said this.
“…” This left me baffled.
All I could do was stay silent.
“Thank you for listening. Also, I hope we can get along in the future, Suzuki-san.” Understanding that I won’t give an answer she started to take her to leave “I should mention one thing: Koshimizu-san doesn’t hate you.”
“…” The last sentence made me even more confused.
…
…
…
What was that all about?
…
…
Well, whatever. Getting involved with her… seems to be a bad idea.
…I wonder why I get the feeling of…
…feeling of…
…
Hmm…
I seem to have lost my train of thought again. Probably nothing important then.
As I make my way to the classroom, I sat down on my chair and take a look at Harumi.
The usual facial expression.
The usual posture.
The usual atmosphere.
She’s the same as always
Stay away from Harumi, huh?
“All tight it’s time for homeroom.” As Munataka-sensei came into the classroom all the chatter died down.
As did my thoughts.
///
It was time for a lunch break.
Out of habit I stood up and expected someone to grab my wrist.
But that didn’t happen.
Harumi just stood up and walked off somewhere.
…
…
…
What a day…
Looks like I’m eating lunch alone today.
Walking to the roof from time to time my head turns backward, to see if a certain someone is following me.
No one.
No one followed me as I took my leave.
…Hmm.
What a strange day.
///
I take a sip of green tea in the plastic bottle as I sit on a rooftop bench, refreshing my parched throat.
The bell rings signifying the end of the eighth period. Sounds of gunshots, explosives, and the instructors screaming are replaced with a momentary calm. After a couple of minutes, the calm silence is replaced with the voices of students leaving the campus or preparing to head to their clubs.
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The weather is cloudy today, the sun is unable to shine through the clouds. And the land is covered in a darker shade. Only one bright red section of the roof gives some colour to the shadowy landscape. With the wind starting to pick up I can only assume that we’re going to be having rain soon enough.
Yep, summer is coming even closer, how annoying. The heat will annoy me to no end. While the rain will become even more intense and annoying, only contributing to the discomfort I will feel.
To enjoy the final traces of the relatively good weather I skipped the eight-period lesson and came to the roof, for that reason.
I take another sip of the bottled tea and breath out a large.
It’s peaceful and calm, a perfect day that I should enjoy…
…but something was bothering me today. Today was a day I did not expect to ever have.
Why? Because Harumi didn’t approach me a single time today. It was unlike the girl to just....
…
…not to act on her curiosities.
What confuses me most of all is that her absence is bothering me. What grandpa said is probably getting to me.
Maybe she just got bored of me.
…Wait can she even get bored?
Suddenly I feel a vibration in my pocket.
An unknown phone number…
I accept the call and put the phone near my ear.
“Hey Suzuki-san, how’s school.” An adult voice come from the phone
“…Who’s this?” I answer back, if this is someone trying to sell me something, I’m ending the call.
“Kanzaki remember?” The voice answered calmly.
Kanzaki? I don’t know anyone named Ka-
-Oh. Yeah right, now I remember. The bar.
“How did you get my number”
“Kenpetai.” He did not add anything else, I guess this is his answer to how he got my number. “There’s a reason I called you. Suzuki-san did you watch the news recently?”
News? I usually watch them, but I can’t remember doing it today.
“…I think I didn’t.”
“A bunch of people got killed, torn into peace’s only their lower halves were found intact.” He says that in a completely calm voice. “Ring a bell?”
…Yeah it does.
“You think Harumi did it?” I get straight to the point
“…” A short silence for some reason, I think, he smiled. “Yeah, I’m calling because I’m sure she did it.”
“So you want me to help you arrest her for you or something” I can only answer with sarcasm, Harumi was most likely the one who did it.
“No, I’m calling to warn you.” Now he said something that I didn’t expect. “The corpses that were found, belong to a bunch of mercenaries.”
“Mercenaries?”
“Yeah and I think they're after the girl.”
“Let me guess you’re going to tell me to stay away from her”
“No, the opposite.” Only to get baffled a countless time today.
“…The fuck?”
“Why do you sound so surprised.”
“Because-… You know what never mind, what do you mean I should not stay away from her?”
“The mercs belong, according to the League of Nations DNA database, to a group called Salem. Their quite infamous.”
“How?”
“They are known for a disregard for rules of engagement. Most recently East Bengal, when some ‘freedom fighters’ took over a part of the capital, Salem blew up a Skyscraper in the area. Inflicting high casualties to the insurgents and killing a high number of their commanders. But in the process also killing a high number of civilians in the area.” He says that in a completely matter of fact tone.
“Whoa. I think something like that was on the news recently but not the skyscraper part.”
“The group that was killed recently most likely they didn’t see Harumi as a threat, so they went directly to her, hoping to either kidnap or kill Harumi. But after her obliteration their agents, they will change tactics and take severe measures.”
“You think they can go after me?”
“There is a possibility. So, you should at the very least have her around for protection.”
I stay quiet thinking over the information, but I catch a sight of the people moving towards the ferry. And a single figure who everyone tries to avoid
“What’s wrong?” Kanzaki asked taking note of my long silence.
“…Something came up. I need to go.”
“Wait I ne-” Without waiting for a reply I finish the call and turn of my phone. Whatever he wanted to say was now unimportant.
...
…
…
That has to be her, the object of my thoughts.
The blob was moving to the port, while the girl was moving in another direction.
What should I do? Approach Harumi?
Drip.
I feel a drop of water fall on my nose and look upwards.
Covering myself with the umbrella, I return my gaze to the blob of people.
It turned into an unorganized mess. Those who did not have a parasol ran to cover themselves from the rain, those who did keep walking.
But one person kept walking, completely unfazed.
Alright.
I start going leaving the roof.
///
Eventually, I caught up with the girl walking in the rain.
For a while, we kept moving. Harumi was a couple of meters ahead of me.
The girl probably knows that I’m following her but did not even turn her head to acknowledge my presence. She just kept walking, like a puppet controlled by a puppeteer. The movements were not showing any discomfort to the rain.
And yet, because of the time I spent with her, made me notice things about the girl. There was something in her step that I never noticed before. They were shorter and less frequent than here previously mechanical steps. Sometimes it felt like she did not want to move.
Was this… hesitation? Or was it doubt?
By now I completely forgot what I was talking about on the roof, the girl taking priority over whatever was the subject of the Kenpetai officer's call.
There was another thing I could not understand.
Why am I following her? Even though I have found her annoying.
Am I doing the same thing I did back then? When we took the ferry together and I approached her without reason.
No, that time I approach out of curiosity. This time I approach because…
...
Well, this is embarrassing for me.
All that remains for me is to accept the fact.
I can feel the unknown feeling coursing through my body.
I know where she is going. We took this path together a couple of times, it is the place where I and she have been to several times. It is a part of our normal school day lives. Our status quo.
After a while, we came to a stop near a familiar place.
There is nothing very special about this building. But it meant one thing. The fact that Harumi, out of all people, seemed to have something she likes.
I mean…
It is just a run of the mill cafeteria.
Harumi just stood there waiting for the door to open.
But it will not open today.
As comical as this would be, I was here for a reason.
“It’s closed, can’t you tell?”
“Closed?”
“It’s closed after the start of the eight period.”
But again, I don’t try to escape from her.
I reach in my pocket.
“Catch.”
As the object flies over her.
“What is this?”
“A candy bar. It’s made from chocolate and has flavor, unlike the ones you eat.” She starts to unwrap the candy. “Didn’t you eat here during lunch?”
She shakes her head and takes a bite. Her facial expression as usual does not change.
“Why?”
She does not answer and keeps eating. I wait and watch as she eats.
When she finished eating, she answers.
“Because they fear me.”
…Something about what she said made me flabbergasted.
How many times did this happen today?
“Fear you?” I repeat what she said.
“It is as you had said, an emotion that forces a person to react in a certain way. Because of an object of fear. And that object of fear is me.”
“I’m surprised you understood that by yourself. But still what if they fear you, why do you care?” I ask the most obvious question that comes to me.
“Because it’s tasty. The food that is here is tasty. And others also think the food is tasty. But if the object of their fear is present, they will avoid it. Therefore, I chose to come when there is no one around, so they can eat the tasty food.”
…
…
I am lost for words. Did Harumi understand that by herself…
She probably doesn’t understand many things she said but has a grasp of what they mean. Her logic was twisted, bordering on childlike. It is bizarre to hear it coming from someone who kills people without as much as blinking.
“I do not understand many things after coming here. You are the only thing I have, that has shown me guidance.”
...What is she trying to say?
“If you are not around. I do not understand what I should be doing. This location is the only one that comes to mind.”
“…And what did you want to do here?”
“I wanted to eat the food here. That is what I wanted to do. I don’t know what else I can do.”
She… wanted to eat food here.
By her own free will. By bringing Harumi here I showed her something.
And through understanding that she made the decision to come here later. She learned consideration. Even if she does not understand it completely.
There is only one thing for me to do.
I can only accept the fact, that this girl has become part of my daily life. Going to the cafeteria with her. Being on the roof with her. Taking the ferry ride back home with her. I used to do that alone, but now Harumi was in the picture.
There’s only one thing left.
“Then I’ll show you.”
Harumi as of now became a part of my new status quo.
I stood closer to her the umbrella in my hand was now covering both of our bodies.
Harumi was looking up to me, her short stature and our proximity forcing the girl to raise her head high. She could look directly into my eyes, her bright crimson met mine much more mundane colour.
“Show me?” She parrots my words. But only because she understands what I am trying to say to her.
“Yeah, I’ll show you what else you can do. What you can eat, what you can see, what you can feel, and many other things that exist in this world of ours. Everything that has been kept away from you until now, what I can show.”
“What do you… mean.”
The girl asks for the meaning of what I say because it’s normal to her at this point.
Even if she can’t understand many concepts. Harumi can understand that this will be the part where I will guide her. Because it’s normal for me at this point.
Me and her, her and me, this will be her new normal. If she says yes to what I offer.
“What did you do on the weekend?”
“Weekends?”
“Two days ago.”
“I waited.”
She waited?
“Waited for what?”
“Lessons.”
…
“You waited for lessons to start?”
“…Affirmative.”
“Why?”
“Because I did not know what to do. With Suzuki Yuta removed, there is no purpose for me to be here.”
…So she doesn’t know how to spend her time. I should have seen that coming as well.
Does that mean that she has some cognitive ability after all?
If she does... I can make her this offer.
I reach into my school bag and rummage through it. I’m sure I have it somewhere in here.
As I find what I’ve been looking for.
“Here.”
The girl looks at the paper slip in my hand.
“What is this.”
“This is a movie ticket.”
“Movie ticket?” She repeats the unfamiliar word.
“This is something you will do with me this week. Instead of waiting for lessons that are not going to happen.” She probably… No, she definitely has no understanding of what a cinema or a movie is, so there’s no point in explaining. That will be a surprise for her, and I am too lazy to explain. “I have no one else to invite and there are two tickets. So will go to.”
Harumi keeps looking at it for a while confused.
“Affirmative.”
“That’s not an order, it’s something you will do out of your free will. So, let me ask you again. Do you want to go to the cinema with me?” I repeat again, making sure she understands what I want from her.
She looks at me for a second then returns her gaze back to the ticket.
Our fingers connect for a second, her slender fingers look delicate and wet. The paper slip gets a bit moist but that doesn’t matter.
What matters is Harumi’s answer.
She keeps staring at the piece of paper with our tickets still connected.
“I will.” As Harumi says that I release my fingers from the ticket. “You will no longer attempt to run away?”
I see so she can understand what this means for me.
Things are changing.
“Running away from you already became an overused joke. Doing the same thing all the time - gets tedious after being done too many times.” As I say that I’m reminded of one thing. “Also, one more thing.”
She looks away from the ticket back to me.
“Kaito.”
“Kaito?”
I forgot to tell her.
“My name, I never told you my name, so I’m telling you now.”
“Your name…” She pauses. “Kaito.” And repeats the words I said.
“Uhuh.” Fells strange to hear someone using my name, most people just call me Suzuki so this is somewhat different.
“What are we going to do now.” Harumi asks.
“What do you want to do.”
Harumi remains quiet, she needs a push.
“Have you ever joined a club?” I say the first thing that comes to mind.
“Negative.” And get an answer I expected.
“Then I’ll show you what clubs we have here.”
“Question.”
“What?”
“What is a club?” Of course, she does not know.
“Just wait and don’t worry. Let’s go. I’ll buy you a new umbrella.” I start walking toward the convenience store.
“Yes.” Her voice was the same, but the unnatural-sounding word she used we’re replaced with a simple human response.
She was still moving like a puppet, but her movements lacked the doubt they had.
Two footsteps that walk-in unison, keeping up the same pace. So, neither one falls back or goes farther ahead. None of us were doing this consciously or intentionally. We were in unison because at this point, even without understanding it.
Suzuki Kaito is a creature of habit, he does not like going against the routine.
He spends his time away from people. Cares little for anyone. Has little interest in the things that surround him.
But I am adaptable therefore I can alter my routine a bit.
Harumi? What is she? What is her purpose? Who sent her here? All of that is irrelevant to me.
What is relevant, are our relationships.
We are not friends; our relationship is impossible to defy. A weakling who cares for only himself and an enigma who cannot be put into a category of human or superhuman. Yet I was the one who reached out to her.
This is my new status quo.
Harumi is an enigma. She looks fragile, week, and small. Yet she possesses something that makes her not like the others.
She cannot understand many things, but as with everything, that will change.
A new world for the Maiden of Annihilation.
And if before she was ordered by someone and obeyed. Now there is a person by her side who will guide her in this brave new world and make her understand what it has to offer.
That is her new status quo.
One who took the action out of convenience and laziness. The other one accepted due to ignorance and curiosity.
Her and me, me and her, this is our new status quo.
…
…
…
…
…
…
Somewhere in my twisted heart, I hoped that nothing would change.
///