His eyes drew me in closer, and I could feel myself growing nervous. Was I blushing just then? God I still love him as much as I did then. So warm-

  I shake my head, remembering where I am. Here I am in class, trying to stay awake and having awful nightmares. As nice as it is to dream that I am a young girl in love with some guy, I don’t live that life. I’m Jet Ferguson, a 14 year old boy. After quickly filling in some notes, class ends and school is over. On the way out, I catch up with Deeta, or Dee for short, a friend of mine who I don’t know if they are a girl or a guy. Anyway, I tell Dee about my latest dream, and brother, Strat. He’s just two years younger than me, but he acts as if he’s super-old and mature. they laugh, saying that maybe it’s a sign I have a crush on someone. I think about it for a moment, and conclude that I don’t have a crush on anyone. Dee disagrees, but not like that matters much. I wave goodbye to Dee and I head for the exit, scanning the crowd for my little I spy him hanging out with another group of kids, and I tell him to come along. He then follows next to me as we walk away from the school building. We get home quickly, and after unlocking the door, we both walk silently. I feel completely exhausted, and all I want to do is take a nap. Luckily for me, I don’t have any homework to get done, and I quickly-

  What’s that? Something, someone’s here. Lay low. Don’t move. Sand covers me, and I can scarcely breathe. Something’s wrong, something’s wrong. I’m getting so tired, I can barely keep my head up. Something’s moving, it’s over there. Don’t move. Stay still. Stay calm. I have to stay awake. I have to stay awake. Dreaming of being a schoolboy with no worries won’t help me. Since when did these dreams start becoming so painfully real? Sometimes when I wake up I forget who I am too. I glance to my hands for a second. Don’t move. Just… have… to…. stay…

Oh man, I slept for a long time. That was a really weird dream, but it was similar to yesterday. I think they’re getting worse. No matter, I’ll just get some dinner. I walk to the kitchen, finding that Mom isn’t home yet. I make myself a bowl of cereal and eat it quietly, pondering why I keep dreaming of soldiers and dangerous battlefields. Really, snuggling up against a lovely boy wasn’t half-bad compared to last week when I lost someone named Klein. I remember waking with tears in my eyes. Why-

Aww, he left. No wonder I feel so chilly. I get up out of the swing and stare at the lovely field ahead of me, covered with bright green grass and tons of wildflowers. I try to push away the dream of being a little middle-school boy and start to sing quietly to myself, hoping he comes back from whatever he’s doing. After a few minutes, I get bored and go to the patio door to-

Awake! Stay awake! Dozing isn’t going to help me survive. If only Klein was here, he’d keep me up but... I can move. Softly, I crawl on the dry sand, trying to capture the warmth of that fantasy, being at peace, no cares but the love for my partner. I find myself repeating my wife’s name out loud to myself in whispers. Elle Borough… Elle Borough. I’m going to live. I’m going to live for her. I may not be able to live for Klein, but I’ll live for Elle. Thinking of her face keeps me pushing through the itchy gravel and able to stay somewhat silent. I’m going to get through this, I just have to stay awake a little while longer. It’s been a while since I’ve seen movement, so I can rest here. I may as well pretend to look like a dead soldier.

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I fell asleep while eating!! Ugh. I may have to tell Mom about this for real then, because this should not be happening to me. I swore I was dreaming about the nice girl again, but I guess it was the soldier's dream too? I ask myself outloud who even is Elle Borough? This is getting out of hand. I can’t keep-

My head… ouch… I reassure my boyfriend that I’m alright, since I must have passed out on my way to the door. That’s strange, the young boy was talking about someone named Elle Borough? Didn’t I hear that in one of my other dreams? I asked my boyfriend about it, and he doesn’t know of anyone named Elle Borough. Slowly, he helps me to stand up. Oh g-

What in the? My dreams? They know of Elle? How I don’t understand? Have I not been sleeping well? But I know of her not them, and-

What the hell is happening? I just passed out in the middle of the house while walking. I need to go get-

STAY AWAKE, I HAVE TO STAY AWAKE, I HEAR PEOPLE I NEED TO-

This isn’t good, I passed out again. Am I going to be okay? And when I do pass out I’m dreaming or at least I’m not me-

MOM! I NEED TO GET MO-

THEY’RE GETTING CLOSER, WHY CAN’T I STAY AWAKE I NEED TO STAY AWAKE! I NEED TO FOR ELLE AND KLEIN. ELLLLLLLLLLL-

We need to get to the hospital oh my God I’m going to die

my

Chest

Hurts.

Jet Ferguson died of a heart attack in his own home.

Iva Stroheim died of a heart attack in her lover’s arms.

Neil Borough died of a heart attack far from home. 

But who deserved to live? With one soul holding onto three people, it was too much. A dragonfly can do many things but it may only land on one branch at a time. But do not switch between them like an indecisive madman. You may only pick one. 

But that’s not fair.

IN A WORLD MADE OF FLUTTERING DREAMS, WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I DON’T WAKE UP?

A DREAMER IN DREAMS, HOLD ON LIKE THE WHISPER OF A MOTH IN MOONLIGHT

IT WAS ALL FOR NOTHING

IT WAS ALL FOR NOTHING

While the whole world

CATCHES HER BREATH, 

LIKE A THUNDERING BEAST,

SHE SCREAMS IN AGONY.

What a waste of time.