Joyce sent another batch of intake forms to Kajio, wiping the sweat off her forehead with a sigh. They'd fucked up, she realized, they'd given a start time but not an end time. The phone had been ringing off the hook with calls and texts alike since noon, and it had been twelve hours already.
This wasn't OSHA compliant, Joyce thought to herself, this probably violated federal labor laws. There wasn't really a federal government here but still.
She glanced carefully at the frenzied pace everyone was working at. Did this count as exploitative labor? Was she a last-stage capitalist boss? Joyce winced internally.
Joyce peered at the latest text message applicant. After Kajio had posted a text-application format on social media, her job had gotten much easier. Just needed to sort the information according to compartments and sent them along.
The problem was how they would even get through this many applications. Was this how college admissions offices felt like?
"How long are we going to keep going?" Selva asked from across the room.
"We should stop soon, I'll post a message saying that we have reached system processing capacity and will be open for applications again by noon tomorrow," Kajio said, already typing something on his phone.
"We're continuing tomorrow?" Selva sounded somewhat horrified.
"Would you rather lose viable applicants?" Kajio shot back.
"We're rejecting applicants?" Joyce asked. It made sense, but she hadn't heard of political campaigns that rejected volunteers before.
"We can't take too many people or we'll be above operating capacity, we can do a second wave of recruitment once we have financial income down, but we can't get a bunch of people on board if we can't pay them," Kajio explained. "I've sent the message, we should keep going for the next five minutes and stop. I'll set a timer."
"We don't take remote workers," Spade said into the phone, on the verge of a snarl. He slammed the phone down. "Screw the timer, I'm stopping before I gravely insult the honor of someone's dead grandma and start a blood feud."
Mohan quickly finished his call as well, looking entirely unruffled despite the extra-long shift. "Internal management may very well be a mess in the near future, we've got a very mixed batch."
Joyce crossed the room and poured Mohan another cup of water, going counter-clockwise to refill everyone's cups. She frowned slightly, thinking about how that would work. Not too well, probably.
"In Jia Xu and Taeyun's places, do they have non-shamans in high-ranking positions? If that might be a problem, we should present a strong united front first up so they know not to mess with the squad," Joyce said thoughtfully. The rest of the room not-so-subtly exchanged glances behind her back.
"Even though the Order has a long history of non-shamans in leadership positions, I suppose there are many aspects of our current organizational structure that may be controversial," Mohan finally said.
Selva raised an eyebrow at her. "Practically all the aspects," he said. "I'm half-Portuguese, Kajio's full immigrant, Spade's like Russian? And all three of us are non-shamans. We've got a literal dead guy taking up Vice-Chair."
"I'm half-Russian," Spade said, sounding a little irritated. "Half-Mongolian, half-Russian."
"So full-on foreign. You weren't even born here, right? And you're a spirit. Who fights with a sword," Selva pointed out. He nudged Kajio's chair with his foot. "And Kajio's a merchant. You know how snobby people can get."
Joyce frowned and nodded thoughtfully. "So people would think we're being overly politically correct."
"People will question the legitimacy of the organizational leadership," Mohan said.
"I'm not from here," she objected.
"You're different," Spade said drily.
So more a case of you're-not-American-enough-to-run-for-Congress versus a your-platform-is-trying-too-hard-aka-overly-diverse. Joyce mulled it over a bit.
She could deal with that, she decided. After all, she'd gotten her older brother elected as the president of the Jehovah Witness Skaters and he had neither been a Jehovah Witness nor a skater, just incredibly stoned.
Probably would be harder where actual money was to be made, but then again, she had the advantage of being a potential nuclear bomb.
"Whatever," she said, "If anyone gives you shit, smack 'em down. I won't hesitate, bitch."
Spade chuckled a little, eyes glinting as he felt the sword stashed beside his chair.
"We definitely have to lean on each other until we establish our leadership," Kajio said. "I was thinking about panel interviews with all of us present."
"That would take forever," Spade objected.
"Not if we do them in batches," Kajio replied, looking pretty fired up for a guy who'd been working since morning.
"Good idea. And in case anyone still has funny ideas, between Joyce and myself, I believe it would be easy enough to instill discipline during orientation," Mohan said, stroking his chin thoughtfully. "What if I have Ling Guang swooping over us and perching on our shoulders in turns?"
"Pointed and obvious. Love it. Shamanic equivalents of carrying AK47s to a demonstration are so much more classier and dramatic, all we're missing is a boom box and low rumbles of thunder as we introduce ourselves," Joyce said.
"So more drama," Selva said. "You know the video of you two ramming the motorcycle off the dock is also viral now? Someone got it on their phone."
"Did we look cool?" Joyce asked hopefully.
"Yeah, that was pretty cool," Selva admitted.
"I'm pretty sure drama is required where Joyce is involved," Spade said. Joyce turned to high-five him.
"Also, the guy I called to fix the window said he's done. We can probably get some shut-eye without wind slapping our face or birds screaming like they'd seen a celebrity now," Joyce said.
Spade gave her a reluctant thumbs-up despite his lack of affinity for the gesture. Mohan watched her with a patient smile like he was watching a robot dog with a horse head try to open a garage door and fail.
She shrugged off the faint chill of being watched. After all, everyone in this room was someone she could trust. As for the people outside of it, she'd deal with them when they got here.
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Kajio rubbed at his temples, staring blearily into the distance. He felt like he'd been put through a washing machine and then a drying machine. The group interviews were going as well as they could hope for, which wasn't very well at all.
"Do any of you have questions for us?" Mohan had asked, to absolutely no replies. That whole group had been too scared of the old shaman to eke out a complete sentence, so Kajio crossed off all their names from the registry list.
Kajio had asked for the group after that. "Do you have any questions for us?"
"Yes, I'd like to know exactly how non-shamans would fare in a position that entails managing shamans?" One of the applicants smirked at them challengingly.
"Very well. With a dose of beating your face in with an ashtray like a 60s gangster," Joyce replied.
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.
"That's not it. What the Chairman means is, I will personally stab you, so keep it in your pants," Spade corrected. Selva audibly groaned and slapped a hand into his face. Looking at the shocked applicants, Kajio sighed and crossed their names off the list as well.
"How about you ask and we reply?" Kajio asked Joyce gently after flipping off Spade and glaring until the swordsman meekly agreed to behave. She gave him a thumbs up that meant she didn't intend to follow through for longer than five minutes top.
Five minutes were up and true to her lack-of-word, Joyce had swung right back into it.
"The spirit-sent is a theological construct, not a physical manifestation," one of the candidates was saying. The question had nothing to do with that.
"I'm right here, so fuck that," Joyce shot back before Spade or Kajio could stop her. On either side of the shaman, they tried in unison to hold back a sigh.
Of the five candidates, one was outraged, three were shocked, and one was amused. Kajio circled the amused candidate's name as they left.
"Can you not go off script and let us handle the difficult bits please?" Spade asked in exasperation. Joyce groaned.
"I was trying!" Joyce groaned. Mohan let out a chuckle. They fell quiet as the next batch of interviewees filed in. Kajio dug out their translated resumes for Joyce as the candidates went through self-introductions.
This was the second-to-last batch, so unless Joyce managed to destroy the building, summon a storm, and then unleash a giant plague-spirit, they would finish with no problems and a lot of talented candidates.
But Joyce was staring intently, with the interest of a child about to chase down a squirrel. That couldn't be good. Kajio traded a confused glance with Spade. Spade gave him a helpless look that translated into either-she-is-going-to-burn-down-the-building-or-she-thinks-someone-is-neat.
Kajio followed her gaze to a short, well-built young woman with short hair and thick eyebrows. Said woman seemed to be scowling at everyone. Joyce didn't seem very inclined to start burning down the building, so Kajio decided not to ask. After all, Joyce's taste was erratic even at its best moments.
"Sugiwara Kiyoko, right? You said you're very fluent in Japanese, English, and Portuguese?" Kajio asked. They'd probably hire her, for Joyce's amusement if nothing else.
Kiyoko nodded. "Yes, I can speak and write both very well, translating documents and such are also no problem."
Joyce smiled a little, looking delighted. "You said you're experienced in close combat and group combat, right?"
"Yes, Chairman," Kiyoko said with a firm nod. Joyce looked like someone who got a five-star SSR in a gatcha game by using a free ticket.
"And for experience you just cited street fighting," she said. Spade muffled what sounded suspiciously like a snicker.
"That's right, Chairman. I've done my share of...roughhousing through the years."
"What weapons do you use?" Spade asked.
"Anything I can get my hands on. I used a baseball bat for a while but I switched to using a pipe. Later on, I shifted to using whatever's closest for ease of travel." Kiyoko said with a face that didn't seem to be joking. "Even if it's a fork. Or a spoon."
Kajio offered a silent prayer for his sanity. If Kiyoko's chaotic energies mixed with Joyce's, he would eat Leila's brand-name high heels.
"Dope. Alright, next question's for everyone. Now that we've gone through everything, y'all've got any questions for us?" Joyce asked cheerfully, eyes still lingering on Kiyoko's gloves, which on second-glance seemed to have too many metal pieces on it to just be ornaments.
"Can I have your number, Mr. Kajio?" one of the applicants asked.
"No, next question," Kajio replied immediately.
"How old are you, Grandmaster? Are you really 150?"
Kajio used the holy power of self-control to resist kicking all of them out immediately. It was funny the first few times applicants acted like absolute buffoons, but the novelty wore off when it happened thirty more times than necessary.
"I'm actually your step-great-grandfather. Next question." Mohan had definitely lost it. Or maybe it was just that being in an enclosed space with Joyce's chaotic energy was driving them insane.
"Chairman, what kind of person is suitable for this organization?" Kiyoko asked. Kajio glanced at Joyce's answer sheet. There was a response for that but she wasn't even looking at the answer sheet anymore. If Kajio had any less self-control he would have dumped his cup of coffee on Joyce's head and kicked everyone out.
"Someone who wants the same thing as me," Joyce replied, "Someone like you."
Kiyoko's eyes widened and she smiled for the first time since entering the room. "Thank you, Chairman."
Kajio quickly shooed out the lot of them. "Joyce," he began.
"I'm really sorry, I don't know why I said that," Joyce said in a panicked tone.
"It wasn't as bad as I feared, it should be fine. But I guess we'll have to hire her," Kajio finished. Joyce let out a sigh of relief.
"Thank God," Joyce gave a thumbs up to the ceiling.
"Alright, last batch," Spade said. "Let's get on it."
A collective groan went up. They went through the basic interview again, Kajio using every last ounce of patience to get through it.
"Do you have any questions for us?" Selva asked.
"How does it work that the Vice-Chair is a spirit?" One applicant asked in the smart-alecky tone they'd all grown tired of, to the point of developing fight-or-flight instincts that were probably going to get someone kicked in the face eventually.
"How does it work that you're in this room? Fuck off," Joyce shot back. Kajio gave up. It didn't matter. It really didn't. It was fine, if they couldn't deal with her in small doses they couldn't deal with her at all.
Another applicant snickered at Joyce's reply, before posing her own question. "Chairman, how will the applicants' criminal history be weighed in the overall application?"
"Yeah guys, don't do crime after you join. Anything before that depends on the crime."
Seeing that there were no more questions, Kajio promptly kicked out all the applicants.
"We're done," he said in relief, shooting up from his chair.
Joyce kicked at the legs of the table to push her chair back, scrabbling for balance as the chair tipped back a little too far. Spade grabbed the chair, blankly shoving Joyce back into her original spot.
"Good work," Mohan said.
"Yay, let's go for drinks!" Joyce suggested. "We can't keep working, right? We're not seriously going to keep going? We've been working for two weeks straight."
They had, and Joyce had been surprisingly good at getting shop-owners to sign on for protection deals. Between her strange ability to make older shopkeepers fond of her and the stunt they'd pulled in the harbor, business prospects were good. Recruitment prospects weren't bad either.
"I'll second that," Selva raised a hand, dark circles under his eyes. "I want to watch my goddamn dramas...Kajio...you're the reason I don't know what happened after the female lead pushed her husband into the lake."
Kajio decided to ignore that.
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Helang stared at the idiotic shaman from the Intelligence Department before him. Why had his life come to the point where even idiots could waste half an hour of his time again?
In the past, no one would have dared to do that. If it weren't for Taeyun's gentle reminder that if Helang kept punching people it'd be a bad influence for Pania and Luco, Helang would never have grown out of that habit.
"Could you wrap up and go?" Helang cut off the shaman with a level glare.
"But sir, the Flying Dragons has been recruiting non-stop for the last two weeks and nothing has happened! I don't understand how you could be calm about this," the shaman pleaded, flinching back when Helang directed another glare at him.
"Of course nothing has happened, she hasn't been back to her apartment in two weeks," Helang said irately, "Calm down, last time she found Feng Xia's tracking spirits she used them as a cooling fan. If she noticed, there would have been a fuss by now. They're miles from subtle. Now get out of my office."
He watched as the shaman scrambled out and let out a sigh. Helang tried to think back to when Pania was sixteen. Pania had never been the type to work two weeks straight without even going home once, but then again she was the type to spend over 40 hours in a row on training. Helang blinked in surprise as the door opened.
"How dare you enter without knocking?" he snarled in the direction of the door. Pania popped her head in with a scowl.
"I've been knocking for twenty seconds, Vice-Chair. Can I come in now?"
Helang blinked. "My bad, come on in."
Pania plopped down into the chair opposite him, looking as petulant as when she was two feet shorter than her current height.
"What did you want to talk about?" Helang asked.
"It's just the Flying Dragons...it bothers me," Pania said, "I've been around since you guys first started so I know how an organization grows, but the Flying Dragons seem odd. What the hell do you think they want? Is Joyce pulling the strings or is she just a puppet? It bothers me a little."
At Helang's glance she shifted a little. "Okay, it bothers me a lot."
"I don't really know what they want, but Taeyun and I will make sure they don't achieve that goal. One thing we don't have to worry about is her siding with Jia Xu. For now, we can't really do anything but watch," Helang said gently.
"Just how powerful is Joyce? I always thought that if I could reach you and Taeyun's level, I could become one of the best shamans, but that girl is on a whole other level...she's practically a monster," Pania said in frustration. Helang laughed out loud, smothering his chuckles as Pania glared at him.
"Pania, Joyce is not a shaman." Helang watched the words sink in.
"Wait, what? She's not? But she's the spirit-sent!"
"Exactly. She is the spirit-sent. Joyce is a gateway, not a shaman. It's even arguable if she can be classified as human," Helang said darkly.
"Not human? Vice-Chair..."
The two sat in silence a little longer. Pania looked even more uncomfortable than she did before.
"So we're definitely going to kill her, huh."
Helang squinted at Pania's solemn face. "Does that bother you?"
"No, I kind of saw that coming." Pania looked at the floor gravely for a few moments. "Is it already planned?"
"It's already happening," Helang said. "I won't tell you anything you don't need to know."
Pania made a face at him and fell silent again.
"Pania, if it bothers you, let's talk it out right now. You're a candidate for becoming the next Chairman, you should understand all of the decisions we're making," Helang said.
"No, I get it. They're just not people whose existences can be allowed to overlap with ours. It just reminded me of Teacher said to me when I was small."
"Lin Bo?" Helang leaned forward with a frown. "About the spirit-sent?"
"Not that, she just said that some people just weren't born to survive. I wonder if that's what it's like with them."
"It is," Helang sighed. "It bothers me that we're being terrible role models for you kids, but hopefully you guys will just never run into this type of situation. But if you do, you should always prioritize the survival of your own people. You know that well enough, loyalty has to be repaid with protection, no matter the cost."
Pania nodded. "Don't worry, Vice-Chair. You guys raised me right."