Dragon’s Propaganda
To be human is to be annoyed endlessly. Humans have such a thin skin that the smallest rock in a covering called a shoe causes unimaginable discomfort. The clothes they wear commonly consists out of wool and when that is combined with their thin skin it’s practically self-inflicted torture. Humans are also constantly predated upon by a tiny insect called a ‘mosquito.’ These ‘mosquitoes’ suck the blood of humans using their proboscis and leave a poison that itches for what could be described as eternity. I swear when I return to my dragon body I will burn every last one of those flying brainless pieces of s-.
“Bzzzzz.”
Calm down. That’s it. Come closer, I have some fresh blood for you. That’s right, make yourself comfortable on my arm.
*Slap*
I let loose a satisfied grin as I stared at the crippled body of my would-be tormentor.
“Bzzzzz.”
Reinforcements? Needless to say, all of you will leave your bodies here today. I began to rapidly crush the invading army of mosquitoes when I heard my guards conversing just beyond my tent.
“Why is Master Searmire waving his arms about?” asked a confused Helix in a hushed whisper. “He’s been acting strange all morning. Jumping up and down on one leg. Glaring at the mosquitoes that come into the tent and having a generally pissed off attitude. At one point I think he even forgot how to wear clothes since he was having quite a few problems placing his own shirt on.” Replied my soon to be former personal guard, Xavier. “It must be stress from yesterday. It couldn’t have been an easy thing to watch so many of your people die right in front of you.” Spoke the very intelligent Helix.
I believe it’s about time for breakfast. Before, I continue I should greet my guards and partake of the very redundant human ritual known as “small talk.” “Helix, Xavier.” They immediately gave a small bow and said “Lord Searmire.” There’s a bit of overcast today but soon cumulonimbus clouds will move in which makes it a nice day to catch some lightning. “Good weather today.” “Uh, I mean… yes sir, better than rain.” Helix answered while Xavier frowned a little bit. Good, I think that’s enough for the pleasantries.
“Right, Xavier, call a knight’s meeting in the strategy tent. There are things to discuss. Also, Helix, do me a favor and tell Mister Vulturin to meet with me after the meeting.” “Right away, sir.” Said the dutiful Helix. Xavier gave me a funny look and asked, “Should we hold the meeting after breakfast, sir?” Ugh, Humans have to eat on a daily basis. “No this matter is too urgent.” With a grunt, they both departed. That Xavier is too sharp for his own good. I’ll tolerate him for now but if his attitude doesn’t improve then he will make a nice snack.
I begin to walk towards the strategy tent while I hear conversations of yesterday’s events from several loud humans. Overall, the humans rightfully admire me or Searmire while expressing their highly underrated terror of Dragons. Indeed we are quite powerf-. “That dragon was damn greedy! Keeping a mountain of gold all to himself. He even had that poor lass tied up in that tower, the lustful wretch.” I take a quick look at the poor sod who decided to volunteer to accompany death to the ball later. He and six other peasants were sitting around a campfire while heating up some wheat gruel for breakfast. As I looked at them they sensed my presence and sweat began to pour down their faces. They immediately stood up and awkwardly bowed while speaking, “Go- good morning. M- Master Searmire.”
Humans. They sell their lives for gold, they kill one another for it, their women sell their bodies for it, and they even sell their children for it. Yet they have the audacity to accuse a dragon, who naturally enjoys sleeping on gold, of greed? Hypocrites! Every last one. They even accuse me, a mighty dragon, of being lustful? We do not even mate but once every seven thousand years! Furthermore, except for that flood dragon, we mate for life! I’d like to see you have the same conviction next time you visit your village brothel. I yearn to tell him off and then make toothpicks of his bones.
Although I want to, I can’t. Pretending is truly tiresome. “Morning, my… fellow countrymen. No need to stand on ceremony, sit and enjoy your meal.” “Thank you, Master Searmire!” I turned away and they sat down. In hushed whispers they spoke “What was that about?” “I don’t know but it was scary.” “Did you see that grin? It was so malicious.” “Hey be careful. He might be able to hear you.” The grin! We practiced this. I immediate contorted my facial muscles into a “straight face.” Humph, a decade of training almost thrown out the window.
I was the first to arrive at the strategy tent and as I looked around I couldn’t help but feel that the humans are rather impoverished. The floor was a cheap carpet, probably of Osmanli make. A worn wooden table was at the center were an incomplete and inaccurate map of the region rested. As well as some figurines placed on the map and more maps and scrolls in the corner. It is clear, while looking at the map, that they did not even consider the curvature of Petros in their rendition. These inept two legged creatures can’t even fathom something as simple as the curvature of the worl-.
“So as I was saying princess, the best way to groom a finely bred warhorse is by using three different sets of brushes. A curry comb, a body brush with stiff bristles, and a mane comb. Also, be careful! If you find it’s ‘sweet spot’ it’s going to try and groom you too with its tongue. It may sound nice but it will definitely hurt you since we have much more sensitive skin by comparison.” A sad looking princess and a talkative knight walked in. Iskona may hate it but getting exposed to human conversation is for the best right now. With that said, Janice is clearly taking it too far. I may not have been around to see the start of the conversation but I can already guess that Iskona must have complemented a horse at some point where upon Janice ‘took it and ran with it.’ Janice is clearly overly worried about her mental state. Now she may have a bit of Stockholm syndrome and also there’s the suspension bridge effect I perhaps took advantage of last night but those things are to my advantage. I don’t need her to be completely normal, you know?
“Master Searmire” said Janice as she entered. “Lord Searmire” chirped Iskona as she curtsied. “Iskona, it’s a pleasure to see you this morning.” “Thank you lord Searmire, mind if I asked what the matter to be discussed today is?” Curt and to the point, why can’t all humans be like this? “I’ll give you two options. There is a lake about two miles from here it the southwest direction. There, you’ll be able to enjoy yourself with Janice’s company while your future is decided upon. The other is to listen to the dirty underbelly of the Searmire Family and become my accomplice as we attempt to navigate through the oncoming storm. Of course I prefer it if you stayed with me. As I’m sure you’re aware of by now the king has offered your hand to whoever can best the dragon but the decision remains yours.”
For the past year, you’ve had little say in anything. Like a child everything was dictated to you by I your parent. However, now I give you a chance. A single chance for I am not charitable. Either stand with me or become an irrelevant puppet. Rise a dragon or die a dreamer. Her face is red. The decision is heavy after all. Acknowledge me as your fiancé and remain to give voice to your opinion or go dream of another life for the rest of your life. Her face is a portrait of emotions. Anger at being forced into this situation. Sadness at my beloved death. A hint of curiosity and dare I say attraction for my persona. However, I could tell from the start she also had a fire brimming deep within. A fire to decide her own fate. A determination to create her own future. A will to soar the skies and roar indomitable.
“I will stay.” I could feel my facial muscles moving but I suppress it and continue to hold on to a straight face. “Stand by my side.” She then glared at me. Hmm? Is it not natural to stand at your fiancé’s side? We stood there staring at each other when Janice coughed while mumbling “Please.” Social convention? Ah, I made a demand of her. Adding please changes it to a request bequeathing a more equivalent status. If I had known earlier I would have changed my wording however it is too late now. One does not simply say plea-. I hear footsteps outside the tent. The others are approaching and I need to move her quickly. Looking at her stubborn tenacity I am forced to remember that I am playing the part of Searmire. A dragon wouldn’t give in but Searmire would. “Please.” I gave you face now hurry over.
With a satisfied expression she then walked over to my side speaking “As you wish, Lord Searmire.” Annoyed I decided to toy with her a bit and grabbed her hand. She looked a bit agitated but she allowed her hands to remain despite the red in her cheeks. Janice was covering her mouth with her hands hiding a smirk underneath.
Helix followed by the others walked into the tent and gave a bow while saying “Master Searmire.” They stood back up while eying our hands. Various emotions ranged through their faces but most showed signs of approval. “As soon as possible you are to return to your companies and make a headcount for people who disappeared overnight.” Tredurin then responded “what is this about?” “It’s about spies. Either bandi-.” “Ugh, Master Searmire. Are you sure you should be…” Interrupted an awkward Lemric as he eyed Iskona. Allowing women, apart from knights, such as Janice, a seat at the table is highly unorthodox for these humans. “I am sure, Lemric. Spies. Whether they belong to bandits or my brother, news will travel to them quickly and they will most definitely set an ambush on our way back. However, we must learn the number of people who disappeared to grasp an idea of how many threats we could be facing.”
“We should chase them down now!” retorted a naïve Tredurin. “I fear it’s far too late for that. Horses won’t give any advantage in these thick woods. We can’t mobilize the infantry as they are just farm peasants and such action will only create a useless mob. The only viable option is to mobilize the few cultivators we have but aside from our few squires all of us are busy managing the peasants. Furthermore, we have little to no experience in tracking and the spies are probably working as teams. Making it highly like that anyone that follows them will either fall into one of their traps or be ambushed.”
Tredurin became red in the face after the rebuke. The others became very anxious, a plan is needed to let them believe everything will be alright. “We will return alive however. My brother can’t directly act against me, at least not yet. So we only need to watch out for bandits. If we can shape up these peasants into decent soldiers we will be able to return.” The very traditional Lemric then questioned, “Teach peasants how to fight? I know your father wanted to pretend these conscripts are actual troops but the reality is very different. Just look at how scrawny they are, it’s a miracle they can even hold a spear.”
To that I answered, “I have a twostep plan for this. First, we will give them training, both physical and psychological.” “Psycowhat now?” asked a very confused Janice. Looking around the room it’s apparent she is not alone. “Psy-cho-lo-gi-cal. Psychological. It is a person’s mind and spirit. So when we train their psychology we are molding their minds to become fiercer and stronger.” “Oh, so we are training their battle spirit and killing intent? Why not just say so.” Replied Tredurin. Sigh, I did. It’s simply your ignorance that didn’t let you perceive it. Lemric then added, “It takes months to properly train battle spirit and years for killing intent. How are we to do that with our little time and few supplies?”
At this point I feel like flipping this table over and just eating these two. However, I keep my straight face on. “As I was saying we will train them physically and psychologically. Psychological training is actually not very difficult to do. For example, the most commonly used is the ‘carrot and stick’ method that I’m sure we are all aware of. However, there is another method called hypnosis.” Before Janice could cut in I continued. “Hypnosis is a wide variety of approaches to imbed a suggestions in a person’s subconc-, ahem, mind. By imbedding the suggestion that they are soldiers the peasants will eventually believe themselves to be soldiers and act as such. It won’t make their mentalities much stronger but it will at the very at least allow them to hold a simple formation.”
“That’s all fine and good but how are we going to go about this? Also, when the fighting starts to happen those peasants will still break and run with their tails between their legs.” The skeptical Lemric chimed in. Is this a form of revenge for your brother? “To go about this, every morning and every night we will gather them and give them a chant. This chant will be said out loud before they go about their duties. I will give you this chant latter but it basically says ‘we are strong and fierce soldiers.’”
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Doubt filled their eyes, especially in the eyes of the newly minted knights, who haven’t spoken yet. “Oh, so it’s like magic?” asked Janice. Only humans are willing to make magic even more complicated by adding gibberish to it. “It is not that kind of chant. However, let’s take a step back and discuss physical training. We prepared roughly three months of supplies for this venture. Currently, we possess two and a half. However, I want to increase the ration size by roughly 50% so as to bulk up the peasants.”
“What’s a percent?” Asked a perpetually confused Janice. “It’s a term used by scribes, scholars, and some merchants. Think of 50% as being half. So increasing by 50% is the same as one and a half.” “I don’t get it. How is feeding them more physical training? Shouldn’t we make them run and practice fighting with spears?” Tredurin questioned. “As Lemric mentioned earlier peasants are scrawny. Their stamina is weak and their strength is none existent. The only way to make them capable fighters is by first putting muscles on them. To do that we need to feed them. After all, have you ever seen a starving man with muscle? This will also give a boost to morale, which will aid us in keeping order especially under pressure. Furthermore, Tredurin, we will be training them to fight throughout this as well.”
“If we increase ration’s we will barely have a little more than a month and half. Even if feeding them makes them stronger there’s no way to train them properly in that amount of time.” Stated Lemric. “That’s were stage two comes in. We will train them to hold a simple formation. There’s almost one thousand peasants out there. No bandit gang is nearly that large. As long as the peasants can withstand the bandit’s intimidation tactics we won’t face battle. The normal bandits won’t risk getting anywhere near us with so many. Additionally, there’s the threat of reprisal for attacking knights and lords making it so only the boldest bandits will even consider attacking. We are in fact creating a ‘paper tiger’ to scare off our enemies.”
A kind of melancholy ensued as they became painfully aware the best plan available is based on a huge gamble. “It’s not a perfect plan but it’s the best plan available to us. This meeting is at an end. Go make back to your troops and begin the head count. Then, after reporting in, you can begin giving your companies training. Dismis-.”
“Wait.” Everyone turned to look at the origin of that word, Princess Iskona. Suddenly in the limelight, a fair bit of embarrassment colored her cheeks. Nevertheless she continued, “You need to tell the peasants.” “What?” Almost simultaneously, the knight’s present gasped in confusion. Even the new knights who have been rather reserved let out their astonishment. “Princess, we can’t tell them or morale will drop precipitously. We will be faced with hundreds of deserters before we even engage in combat. Although, I understand the notion that people should be aware of their fates but at this point such an action is naïve and, pardon my insolence, foolish.” Lemric, after having spoken, had a proud gaze as if saying ‘I told you so.’ Although Lemric is ‘traditional’ to the point of suffocation. He’s is still one of the smarter knight’s at hand. “You misunderstood, sir Lemric.” She continued. “The loss of morale is inevitable. Either we lose morale now or later in the midst of combat. One weakens us while the other disastrous. Additionally, we have a powerful motivator for them to remain.” “What is this motivator?” interjected Lemric. “Money, Sir Lemric. Money. Lord Searmire has already offered a fistful of gold upon our return. With that kind of money only the most cowardly of peasants would be willing to forego it and run.” I quickly look towards Iskona before returning my gaze upon the knights, specifically Lemric with a far too familiar look. I then spoke, “Very good. Follow my orders. In addition, later tonight gather your troops together as I will both disperse the chant and alert them as to the situation. Dismissed. Janice wait outside for Princess Iskona.”
With that the meeting came to an end. After they left I could hear one of the new knights cursing his luck for being born a third son. It’s precisely because of that kind of attitude that he will not greatly benefit later on. Oddly, princess Iskona was still holding on to my hand. She then noticed my observation and quickly attempted to rid herself of my hand as we exchanged a brief gaze. “Uh... um sorry.” She spoke in an awkward tone, however, I refused to let her liberate her hand. Instead I stepped forward closing the already small gap between us. Surprised, she nearly took a step back only to find my other hand pressing upon her lower back pushing her closer to me.
“If I were a poet I’d imaginably sing of your hair like flaxen, your skin as white as milk, or possibly of your aura that’s fresher than a spring breeze. However, the part of you that is most attractive to me is your spirit.” Indeed I care little of your human ‘beauty’ rather it’s your soul I covet. A blush grew on her face. “My spirit?” She questioned while stemming her embarrassment. “Indeed, how do you like being amongst humans again?” Better, to leave her curious as to what I see in her. “It’s alright, I guess.” She replied with a hint of dissatisfaction. “Come now, you guess? Are human really so bad compared to a dragon? Or is it Janice? Don’t worry, after a little more time your ears will fall off and you won’t have to listen anymore.”
She laughed a little and said, “Janice is wordy but its fine, that simply how she shows she cares. Rather than humans the dragon was...” With a forlorn look she slipped her hand out of mine. “I’m sorry, Lord Searmire, but I feel fatigued and must retire.” Before I could say anything she curtsied and exited the tent. I stared at the front of the tent with a confused look as she left. Laughter ensued just outside the tent as Xavier and Vulturin entered. “It seems you are having a few problems with the lady.” Started Vulturin. “Not to worry, though, I have several ‘medicines’ that will help you ripen the mood.” I do not need any of your aphrodisiacs and more than likely anesthetics as well. “No but thank you, Mister Vulturin. Rather let’s talk on a more serious topic. Rationing. Increase the peasant’s rations by half.”
Vulturin looked at me as one would a crazy person. “But why? Their peasants. The food they’re getting now is more than enough for them. Anymore and it’s just throwing money away. Also, we will run out of food in a little more than a month. Not to mention we need at least two weeks of supplies to make it back to the nearest frontier village in order to restock.” It seems that a greedy quartermaster is a good quartermaster. “The increase rationing is a necessary military decision but you are correct on the dwindling rations. That is why Xavier will depart today on horse and purchase a wagon along with as many supplies as possible.” I replied. “The village is small, at best they will have three weeks’ worth of supplies considering the size of our troop.” Continued Vulturin. “Then that is just enough.” I then hand Xavier a pouch with some gold coins. “Master Searmire, may I speak with you in privy?” Said an agitated Xavier. “Sure, Sir Xavier. Mister Vulturin I would also like for you to set a stage near the wagon with the gold coins for later today.” Vulturin gave me a confused look but said “I will do as you command Lord Searmire.” “Thank you, you’re dismissed.” He then walked out of the tent with a perplexed air.
Xavier then looked at me right in the eyes without speaking. “Spit it out, I don’t have all day.” To the now deceased Searmire, Xavier could count as one of his few friends. They grew up together and, from my observation, when in privy lose all sense of propriety. A needlessly worried Xavier said, “Alright Mama’s boy. You’re acting weird. I mean weirder than usual. Look I don’t know what happened in that cave but considering how you’re behaving now, it is not the time to leave you alone. Hell, I haven’t seen you eat anything since yesterday and the servant boy hasn’t had to change your chamber pot either.” Right, humans do that on a daily basis. How very inefficient.
“I am doing what I have to for our survival. As to what happened in the cave I won’t say it hasn’t impacted me but I promise I can keep it together. Right now, we need supplies to strengthen ourselves enough to survive. You think my father is going to let us keep this gold? No. Soon as we get back he’s going to take it as if he risked his own neck for it. If we not only want to get back in one piece but keep our just reward we need an army.” I did all I could to suppress my inner grin and maintain a straight face while hawking out that garbage.
Xavier then looked at me with a concerned expression that quickly changed to a grin. “So princess Iskona? I honestly though a mama’s boy like you would wait until your mommy handpicked a girl for you. I would congratulate you, only you are messing up big time.” I’m willing to tolerate some aspects of your former relationship but to give me ‘love advice?’ Xavier has no desire to live a long life but I must continue with the charade and despondently say, “What do you mean?”
“First, thank your lucky stars I overheard the request you made to Iskona. Second, you seem too have forgotten all your stately training because your ‘request’ was a demand at best and a threat at worst. There’s a right way and a wrong way to as questions. For example, I could ask my squire to polish my equipment or I can say ‘polish my equipment or you will remain a squire for all eternity.’ The latter is obviously a threat. Recently, you’ve become quite domineering, which is fine as a lord but you can’t speak to royalty in such a manner. The princess is not a peasant to be bossed around and even less threatened.
Lastly, you need to stop jumping into the trap. I don’t know why but princess Iskona seems to miss the giant lizard, no doubt some kind of charm magic. Thusly, you, the lizard slayer, if you hope to have any sort of relationship with her must stop asking about it. Haven’t you noticed she runs out every time you try and bring the lizard up? Don’t look at me like that, you know it’s true. Anyways, she seems to like you so if you play your cards right she will be yours. I’ll head off to the village now and remember avoid talking about the lizard.” With that he turned and walked out of the tent. I, a mighty dragon, have been humiliated to the point of being called ‘lizard’ by a human. I can feel anger and bloodlust corrode my will. If he had stayed any longer I would have turned him into charcoal.
I went back to my tent and begin to meditate. It’s only the second day but I am already in major peril of breaking form and wasting centuries of effort. Worst part is if I fail other dragons will likely learn of it and my attempt and thus create endless humiliation. I continued to meditate until my subordinates have gathered the peasants before the completed stage. The time was around dusk and the setting sun created a purple light that extended through the sky and reflected off of the gathering clouds. I walked up the stage as the humans let out hushed whispers with various speculations as to the purpose.
Looking at the hairless monkeys I couldn’t help but feel their due reverence. I use a human technique to infused my voice with Qi allowing it to travel farther and sound ‘mighty.’ Then I speak, “Gold. Gold, what does it represent? To you it means a new life. It means your children won’t starve. It means you will own your land, you will have oxen to plow and hands to collect. It means that you will be able to live in a village if you so which. Acquire education for your families and yourselves. Gold represents a grand hopeful future.
However, traitors and thieves have appeared. 23 people have gone missing, no doubt spies for bandits. These bandits aim to take our gold. They aim to deprive your family of food. To destitute your land and impoverish you. Their aim is to ensure that you will remain poor forever, not knowing whether you will survive or not. Their aim is ultimately to deprive you of your future! So I ask you, are willing to sit back and be robbed?!?”
To this question a few of the more brazen peasants shouted, “No!” I continued, “Will you sit back and wait for them to take food from the mouths of your family?!” This time more peasants chanted, “No!” Are you willing to have your futures stolen from you?!” Most of the peasants now chanted, “No!” “Then are you willing to fight?!” They all shouted, “Yes!” “Are you willing to follow me against them?!” “Yes!” “Are you willing to seize your futures from the jaws of death?!” “YES!” The crowd was primed and ready.
“Then swear an oath! Every morning and every night swear this same oath upon your families, your ancestors, and yourselves with the gods as your witnesses! Repeat after me. ‘I swear to follow my rightful lord to fight and seize my future!’” “I swear to follow my rightful lord to fight and seize my future!” “Good, then from now own we will train. Every day you will train as if your life depends on it because it does! Follow my orders and that of my knights and we will seize your golden future!” With that the crowd went wild with cheering. Humans. So very easy to manipulate.