All eyes were on me when we walked into the cafeteria and took our regular table. Looking down at my tight dress, and overly exposed assets, I wondered how I'd been talked into this. Sitting down, carefully so I didn't show off my underwear by accident, I put my elbows on the table and clasped my hands together under my chin trying to cover my breasts.

Garth's jaw dropped. And I realized all the other boys at our table had the same stunned expression. Looking down, I saw I was actually pushing my breasts together making them look even bigger and perkier.

I dropped my arms, and blushed. Whatever god had invented breasts had a lot to answer for.

“That's a new look for you, Petra,” Garth squeaked. He shifted a little in his seat, trying to subtly adjust his pants.

Somehow the blush which seemed to have set up permanent residence in my cheeks grew even brighter. “I'm only doing this because it might help. As soon as I'm done, I'm burning this dress, and the bra.”

“You can't burn it!” Naomi said. “You look great in it.”

“I don't like showing so much leg, or breasts. Or hips. Or butt. Or curves in general.”

“You're going to hate the swimming and aquatic fighting part of combat class,” she told me.

An involuntary shudder ran through me at the thought of wearing a bathing suit, or even worse a bikini. “Please tell me that isn't anytime soon.”

“Sorry, it's next month.”

The boys started to drool.

“Why do you know this and I never heard a word about it?”

“Angel Slayer told us at the end of class on the first day. You were curled up in the fetal position crying and begging us to stop killing you,” she said.

“Oh Petra!” Clarice hissed. “Lover boy is looking at you.”

I looked up and saw that yes, Rocks For Brains was looking at me with a big goofy grin on his face. Hunching down in my seat I had to fight the urge to run screaming from the room. I REALLY didn't want to deal with this. It was supposed to be me smiling at the pretty girl hoping she'd pay attention to me. Not the other way around.

“Smile and wave, Petra,” Clarice said.

I forced myself to smile, thinking about Ella's smile and copying it as best I could. But that was as far as I could go. My arm refused to move, there no way I was going to wave at him. Smiling was hard enough.

“Ivy, can you help Petra?” Ella asked.

Growling the werewolf grabbed by wrist, wrenched it up so fast I felt my shoulder almost pulled out of it's socket, and she began waving my arm for me.

“OW! Not! OW! So! OW! Hard! OW! Ivy!” I said, trying to keep my head from getting bashed by my own arm.

The half-giants grin became bigger and goofier. He waved shyly at me, his greyish cheeks developing a delicate pink blush. Then I saw something very bad. Victor was smiling and saying something to Rocks For Brains.

“Uh guys, I think Victor has something nasty planned. I don't like his smile.”

Rocks For Brains took his backpack off, reached inside and pulled out a boulder as big as I was. It did look pretty, being a sparkling bluish-grey stone with dark purple amethyst running through it. I didn't have long to admire it unfortunately. The half-giant leaned back, holding the boulder in one arm and then flung it as hard as he could right at me.

“DUCK!” I shouted, jumping out of the way.

There was a terrific crash as the boulder crushed our table. Food and drinks went flying, covering me, all my friends and every table in our immediate vicinity. Our jump for safety added to the chaos, as we slammed into those nearby, shoving them face down into their food, knocking them from their seats and crushing them against the tables.

Staring at the table, I realized I'd almost died from the boulder, which was sitting in a small crater that had once been our seat. The boulder actually looked prettier in person. I had no idea where he'd gotten it from, but it couldn't have been easy to find. It even looked like he had polished it, I could practically see myself in the stone.

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I couldn't see Rocks For Brains, having fallen on the floor, and with so many kids standing between us. I did see Calci pull her own rock from her bag. It wasn't nearly as big as 'my' stone, but it was even prettier.

The Dwarf judged the distance and lobbed the stone at the half-giant. Getting to my feet, I watched the stone almost hit the roof the it started going down. And somehow Calci had perfect aim. It hit Rocks For Brains right in the head, knocking him on his butt.

A big hand grabbed my collar and lifted me into the air by my now stained, red dress. I found myself looking at Barbarina, who had mashed potatoes all over her face and gravy dripping from her hair. She looked angry.

“You ruined my supper,” she growled.

My head twisted looking for help. But everyone seemed to be in a similar situation of facing down angry, food covered students. “Uh, I'm VERY sorry. But you can't really blame this on me,” I said.

I was about to say more when I heard the sound of cloth ripping. My dress was designed to be pretty and show off my assets. The most activity it was supposed to deal with was dancing and potentially rather heavy petting. It was not made to hold someone up while being held by a barbarian.

The dress ripped in half under my weight. I found myself on my feet, only wearing my shoes and underwear, looking up at a very scary girl, who already had my scalp sewn onto her helmet. I was going to die, and I didn't have a belt of resurrection this time.

Doing the only thing sensible, I turned on my heels and ran for it.

Chaos broke out all around us. My friends mostly realizing cowardice was a better long term survival strategy than fighting, scattered, dodging blades, fists and magic thrown their way. Other students who hadn't been hit by food, found themselves getting punched, or dealing with an exploding fireball, narrowly missing a sword swing, or getting jumped by an overenthusiastic fighter.

They didn't take too kindly to this and the fighting spread.

Ivy, who had somehow kept a hold of her bone, grabbed a particularly dimwitted boy that had jumped her. She casually tossed him at another table. He landed with a splat on a bowl of soup. The soup flipped up into the air, spinning as it did, scattering its very hot content. There were screams of outrage and more people got to their feet.

Ella was surrounded by a swarm of fairies, being hustled away by Blood Wing. The half-fairy was gleefully zapping anyone who got too close to her. Clarice, Naomi and Calci were hiding under the remnants of the table, the small girl with her back against the boulder, while Naomi poked people with her spear and Calci punched anyone stupid enough to try attacking a Dwarf.

I lost track of the boys. I suspected that some of them were under a dog pile of shouting and fighting figures, but if they were, I couldn't help them. I was busy scrambling along the floor, in my underwear, trying to avoid the angry barbarian girl who wanted to take my scalp, again.

“Gotcha!” Barbarina shouted, lifting me up by my ankle.

Blood rushed to my head, and my breasts threatened to give me a black eye as she shook me. I was doomed. There was no way I could beat her, and she was going to tear me apart.

Then salvation appeared.

Garth came flying out of nowhere, catching the barbarian around the neck and bringing her to the ground. We all crashed to the floor, and were promptly trampled by the rioting students. Somehow I managed to get to my feet, and looked at Garth who looked surprisingly brave as he kicked Barbarina who was between us.

“RUN!” he shouted.

Taking his advice, I ran for it. We each went in different directions because neither of us wanted to risk getting close to the enormous and extremely angry girl. Especially now that she was shouting curses and promising to rip our scalps off while we were still alive and use our skulls for a beer glass.

I ducked, dodged and jumped through the wild melee, trying to avoid getting hit, tackled or killed. Unfortunately with my new body, I drew attention. Running around only in red underwear and shoes, I was drawing even more attention.

One of Victors minions tackled me, and I hit the ground hard enough to see stars. I tried to get up, but he was too heavy, and with all the food on the ground, I couldn't get my hands or knees under me. I couldn't even roll over and try to bite him. I was stuck.

“Victor, I've got her!” he shouted.

The floor shook. There were screams of terror, and the sound of teenagers flying at high speed only to come to an abrupt halt.

“I save you!” Rocks For Brains shouted.

I saw a pair of enormous feet come dangerously close to my head.

“Hey Rocks, I'm your friend!” the boy shouted.

“No hurt girlfriend!”

The weight on my back suddenly disappeared.

“Hey! Put me down! No! Don't throw MMMMMEEEEEEEE!” The cry cut off as the boy landed in a pile of half conscious teenagers who had found themselves in the way of Rocks For Brains.

And then I was being picked up by the love-struck half-giant, who looked at me with a big grin. “I saved you,” he said.

“Yeah. You did,” I squeaked.

“I did a good job, for pretty Petra. No one hurt you now.”

Barbarina came storming over, she had a nasty black eye, and looked ready to kill. Then she saw me in the arms of my... hero. The barbarian wisely turned around and began punching an unfortunate teen that was shoved within arms reach of her.

I reached out and patted Rock For Brains cheek, hoping he wouldn't try to kiss me, his mouth was as large as my face. “Good work. You did a very good job, Rocky,” I said, forcing myself to smile.

My brain was screaming at me that I was going to regret this. But the voice of self-preservation said 'Survive now, we'll figure out what to do next when we're not about to die.' I couldn't argue with that logic.

The door to the cafeteria slammed open. Master Grieve stepped into the room, his armoured head scanned the chaos. Drawing his sword, he sliced the air, thunder boomed.

Everyone stopped what they were doing.

“You will all go to your dormitories and clean up,” he said, his deep voice was barely above a whisper but everyone heard his orders. Meekly and quickly they started to clear the room.

His eyes turned to me. With a voice that reminded me of the deep rumble of an avalanche or earthquake, he said, “Petra, Rock For Brains, follow me. We need to discuss your detention.”