4 [ Iris ] First!

This. Was. Great!

Smashing things. Beating up idiots who would lock me up just for existing and even try to kill me if I resisted. Heh, Doom Smash. The best of all worlds.

I took a second to apply my thumbs to the side of my head, fingers spayed out and waving back and forth while I stuck my tongue out as the assembled might of the fuming SHIELD occupational force. They knew they didn’t stand a chance against me and wiser heads must have ordered them to stop trying.

Which had led to this face off. With me standing halfway across the bridge leading to the closed gates of Castle Doomstadt, staking my claim. Opposite me, there was a few hundred SHELD guys, many of them looking pretty beat up. Which they were, by me. Armed with all their high tech weapons.

Aside from the ones which I could hear making ominous humming noises over where I had tossed them to Smash up against the castle walls.

The Doom Walls!

Those ones had stung a bit, so they got extra Smashed.

“I’d ask to talk to whoever was in charge, but that’s me.” I pointed my thumb at myself. “Baroness Von Doom. Iris the first. So how about I talk to whoever is in command of you sorry lot.” I ended that with what would have been a hair toss, if I had enough hair to toss.

Victor Von Doom seriously couldn’t make a machine so his fifteen year old daughter could be born with hair? Bad evil overlord. No Father’s Day cards for you.

I set my hands on my hips and stared the agent down until one soaking wet guy I vaguely remember tossing into the moat stepped up. Excuse me, the Doom moat! “Commander Riek is still unconscious, I’m Agent Bennet. Could you please tell me who exactly you are and what you hope to accomplish?”

Good. Ever since I popped out of my mechanical momma I knew I was one of the youngest of my siblings to be out and on the move. And if I wanted a legitimate claim to the throne I had to be first one here. After getting dumped out of my tube to the cold metal floor and going green from the shock I knew I didn’t need to take the time to make a Doom suit. I just had to get out, make my way out through what had proved to be a secured chamber in a Swiss bank vault, and get to sweet home Latveria first.

Then if it turned out one of my older sibs wanted to and had the power to take it from me, I could try to make some sort of deal to hand it over instead. Without it getting damaged in a fight. Pops hadn’t left me anything in the way of cash. The only thing I had that I had taken the time for the Matrix Forge to make for me was a gray on the sides and purple in the middle unstable molecular sleeveless mid-thigh long swimsuit like super costume and a set of sweet fold over matching boots.

I also had started off with a nice hooded purple cloak and a set of matching gloves when I got here, but I had thrown the cloak away for a dramatic reveal, and the gloves literately came off when one of the buzzing guns put me through a wall.

So, you know, I had picked a mix of mom’s and dad’s colors. Okay, I guess technically Doom’s color would be green but I got green pretty well covered so I went with gray.

Anyways. “I’m Baroness Iris Von Doom. Rightful heir to the throne of Latveria by right of combat and getting here before the rest of them. So I call dibs. I invite you to withdrawal your forces as Latveria is now under my protection. Your presence is no longer needed. Shoo, shoo.” I flicked my hands out at them.

Agent Bennet sighed and then wearily raised his hands up as if to calm me down. “Okay, okay. I’m just going to go ahead and believe everything you just said. Questioning any of your claims is above my pay grade. But I have a duty to defend the people of Latveria from anyone trying to take the place over. Were you even aware that they had elections for a prime minister and have formed a new government? One that has already set up a schedule for us to gradually withdraw?”

The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.

I froze up for a second, then decided to play it out as boldly as I had come in. You know, like a Doom… or a Hulk. Both worked. “Nope, but that’s fine with me. I got no interest in dealing with budgets and diplomacy. I just want the title and all of Dad’s cool stuff.” I threw a thumb over my shoulder. “The castle, mine. His money, mine. The title, mine. Get your people out of it and return everything you stole. Or…” I punched my fists together. “More smashy, smashy.”

Bennet took a deep breath. “I understand why you would feel that way, but… Seriously, how old are you.”

That’s when a voice called out. “Either fifteen or seven depending on how you count it.”

Hovering in midair above the Doom moat about sixty feet away was a big guy in a bulky version of Dad’s armor. Only with a tunic in a subdued green, black, and gray set up in an elaborate geometric pattern and a big hooded cloak with darker versions of the same colors and a simpler pattern.

His accent was also Wakandan, just like Chadwick’s. So not Dad, just a brother from another mother.

...Or a sister with a voice changer. Wakandans could be tricky.

Hover bro continued. “But that does not matter. Our father set up the laws of Latveria so that his heir would be the head of state in his absence, regardless of their age. Any alteration to his laws by an emergency government were rendered null and void upon her proclamation of intent to claim his title.”

I crossed my arms and gave floaty McDoomface a dubious look. “And are you here to lay your own claim?”

Floaty gave me a long look and a slow head shake. “I am Horus Von Doom, son of Victor Von Doom. Here and now I forgo any and all claims to the title and rulership of the nation of Latveria in favor of the rightful heir, Iris.”

He held his fist up. “All hail Iris Von Doom, first of her name. All hail Baroness Doom!”

Aw jeez, I’m blushing, aren't I? Not so much for Big Bro’s proclamation but due to how many of the civilians who had refused to get cleared out by the SHIELD agents began to cheer and wave. Either people missed Doom so much they were willing to accept me as a stand in, or the SHIELD guys had been such jerks since they got here that even I looked good.

Probably both. Regardless I turned and waved at the crowd. “Thank you, thank you. I’m feeling the love. You like me, you really like me.”

Floaty, or Horus drifted over a bit closer. “May we speak sister?”

I gave him a nod, and he settled down on his feet and bowed at the waist for a second before looking up at me. “My apologies, but I will not be taking the knee as I do not plan to become a resident of Latveria or to become one of your subjects.

I waved it off. “Not coming in hot and trying to take the place yourself is good enough. But if not Latveria, then what? Don’t try to tell me you’re going to be content not ruling over someplace of your own?”

Horus tilted his head at me for a moment. “Africa. Or at least the worst parts of it. Eventually, as a Federation with other nations joining under whatever status they wish. There are many places on this world that are still in need of someone competent to rule them. Latveria is not one of them.”

He threw up his hand in response to the angry look I gave him. “I mean no offense sister. Our homeland still needs a Doom and you claimed it first. Feel free to lead them into conquest if you wish. I will be on another continent that is in need of improvements that should keep me busy for the rest of my lifetime. There should be no conflict between us.”

I considered that and gave him a nod. “But why Africa?”

He slumped a little and his voice slipped into a midwestern American accent. “This may sound shallow, but because I’m black. And Doom put my creche over there.”

Slowly shaking his head, he added. “And Africa needs someone to step up.” He threw his head back and waved his hand dismissively. “And I’m not insane enough to try to fix America. Some places are beyond help.”