Authors Corner

If you've understood the sensibilities of our befuddled protagonist so far, please tell him. He doesn't have a clue as to what's going on.

Then again, with my meager skills, you might not either.

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Chapter 4 – Are you just happy to see me?

Wilson.

Tastily floating near the shore.

Many Moments later.

Hello there again, Shadow in the water.

It looks like you might not get breakfast on this lovely morning.

That's because I'll be getting out of the water in a moment.

Just like how you are savoring me, I'm savoring my soon-to-be landfall.

In the meantime, I'm floating around. I'm doing so because I've felt a need to question how I did, in fact, reach speeds that physics would balk at.

I was straining myself so hard when it happened, harder than I have ever strained at all in my short life. One moment I could see the shore in the distance, and the very next moment I was right beside it, in water knee-deep.

I had hit warp speed.

Life is giving me lemons here, because the very moment I was able to let out the torrent of emotions that were constantly bash against the dam of my reason, a whole new flood of worries set in.

If I could sense magic, or I believed that I had any, I would call this a Teleport.

An honest-to-bastard-god Teleport. The famed magic skill that any wizard would die thrice for.

It's not magic though. I can't explain it, but I know it to be true. I know it, not in my mind but in my soul. I shiver to think how that bastard put knowledge there.

Now that I do a roll-call on all my parts, I know that the “Teleport” has ripped something out of me. I just don't know what went missing. Considering my primary obsession, I want it to be mana, but like I've mentioned, I've ruled it out.

I've tried a few more times to make 'Teleport' happen, but nothing comes from my efforts. 

What went right? Or rather, what went wrong?

I don't have answers, but I'm calm. 

I'm as serene as the salty water that surrounds me.

It's so quiet that although I have no need to, I'm breathing softly. I don't want to break the mood of this peaceful morning.

The breeze wandering past me breaks the solitude with the thinnest trills and tweets of the nearby birds.

Wait, birds?

Instead of the usual rampant excitement running through me, I'm simply content as I paddle my way to shore.

---

Wilson, the bird whisperer.

Partway through the morning.

I'm currently mimicking an ordinary small red bird, in both sound and demeanor.

The bird is cautious of me, and I'm cautious of birds in general. It's hard to punch something that flies.

I'll admit I'm playing around again, but I think it's alright, since I don't feel any urgency from my situation. I have nowhere to go and nothing to do. So I'm standing here, cawing back at a confused bird. I'm making sure I enjoy myself; I have been doing so since I first saw this vibrant place.

As for the bird, I nearly killed the flying pest when I came across it earlier.

I had come out of the water after a short rocky climb, and had proceeded to explore the local vegetation without destroying anything at all, not even trees. I was trying to be more prudent in this homelike place.

I wasn't yelling random phrases. I wasn't showing people upstairs my middle finger. It's shocking, but I wasn't even punching everything in sight.

Compared to my normal behavior, I was being a saint. 

Saint Wilson the Sane.

When I realized it, all I could think was “What has come over me?”.

Actually, I might have even said it out loud. Which was comforting in a way, because that seems more like the sort of stupid thing I would do.

I then heard an airborne cry and was promptly thereafter attacked by a beak.

I was so comforted and calm that I resisted my instant-kill instinct.

Instead, I let it peck me a few times, chatter incessantly overhead, and return to the branch it came from. Due to my freshly minted sainthood, I let it do all these things in peace.

Which brings me to now. So here we are, bird and human.

I stop cawing for a moment and look it over. It's quite nicely colored, being red breasted and having sunny yellow highlights running from wingtip to crest. It almost looks like it's wearing a little red shirt with yellow jacket leading all the way up to a little yellow crown. 

Yes, just like a little pompous king...

 A stupid and fluffy one.

...

Ouch, ouch!

I'm sorry my liege! 

This court jester of yours will stop besmirching thine good name. But thou art truly fluffy and thine intelligence hath fled at the sligh'est provocation.

…

Ow! Stop that!

I'm retreating slowly, my hands are up! Look, I'm harmless, okay?

Ow, again!?

You stupid bird, hands up doesn't mean I want you to peck my fingers.

…

…...

Uh-oh.

I'm fairly certain it wasn't this play of mine but rather the fact that I stopped cawing that caused the bird to decide I shouldn't be in its territory. It was being insistent enough that I wasn't really paying attention to my surroundings as I tried to slowly back away. I didn't pulp the feathery twit because I wanted to keep my sainthood.

But for the first and probably last time, either my stupidity or violent nature would have been helpful.

Because right now I feel a nostalgic dropping sensation in my heart.

It's not love.

I'm currently falling backwards.

---

Wilson.

At the base of a cliff.

The light slope I'm sitting on right now is the result of a recent landslide, I think. There are broken boulders everywhere here at the bottom of the cliff and the dirt looks upturned, with no signs of plant growth. Taking a closer look upwards, the cliff itself looks unstable.

I'm sitting here after falling a good 20 meters off of that cliff. I couldn't have even imagined that I was that high above anything considering I've barely gone inland since the morning.

This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

I'm panicking a little bit after my fall. Like everything else that's happened to me since I've come here, what I just went through now is giving weird mixture of emotions.

I'm happy I'm alive.

I'm sad that I'm bleeding.

I'm scared that I'm bleeding.

I'm relieved that this body is bleeding.

I've been really scared about this body up until now. I'm not sure which scared me more; the possibility that this body was inhuman, or that this body is now undoubtedly human. I'm bleeding red blood. It's nothing serious. I'm being dramatic due to shock. It's just my forearm that is scratched after my 20 meter fall. I've only bled a few drops too. 

Maybe saying I'm certainly human was too hasty.

The culprit of my injury is the especially sharp rock beside me. It's surface, heavily laced with metal deposits, lead me to believe that metal might be able to hurt me. I haven't encountered any metal at all in this world up until now, and the only thing to make me bleed was this metallic rock. I'd bring it with me, but it's far too large to be a good travel companion. So I just leave it, and keep in mind to be careful around metal until I know more.

I'm becoming a veteran at not worrying about things I can't change. It only took me a few minutes before I got up and decided to get a move on. 

I think I'll continue my journey with the shoreline always in sight, at least for now.

If humans are out there somewhere, they'll live near the water, right?

---

Wilson.

In the middle of a good time.

Dusk.

I was looking for a good time, that is, I was looking for anything at all aside from the landscape to look at.

Well... I was looking until I stumbled upon a clearing that had a hard packed trail running to both my left and right. I'm now having a good time. I picked left of course, as it led towards the ocean so it should end close by.

I see footprints on this path, which means it was recently used in the last … year maybe?

This can only mean one thing.

A civilization of foot-people!

I had hoped this day would come. I only wish that there was someone to share my joy with. I'm not as lonely as before, but it still dampens my mood a tiny bit.

Thinking about this would have gotten me down before, but now...

Now my heart is unbreakable.

I happily stroll along this path, knowing that finding another humanoid life-form is a foregone conclusion. 

I have a clear purpose in life, at least for now.

I'll find a life-form.

I'll try to talk to that life-form.

If it's possible, I'll ask the life-form where the closest wizard is.

I'll find that wizard.

I'll take that wizard's magic. Preferably fire. I'll steal it if I have to.

It's a solid plan. Vague enough that I won't need to revise it, and detailed enough that I can't possibly screw it up. It could take a long time, possibly forever, before I see this plan to fruition. I hope I have the perseverance to see these steps through to the end. Who knows how long even the first step will take.

Hmm?

What is that?

I've spotted what looks like human.

That was quick.

It's holding a rod of some kind, though it's hard to make out in this light and this far down the path. 

Could it be holding a magical staff? If so, I'm happy to see it, I wonder if it'll be even as close to that happy when it sees me?

The peacefulness that has been with me all day, also known as my recently acquired Sainthood, is fleeing. I'm getting excited again.

So excited, in fact, that I've tripped over myself twice while trying to run forward to meet the humanoid. I'm literally getting ahead of myself this time. Didn't I tell myself not to do that? I'll tell my legs instead.

Bad legs! Bad!

My legs haven't really done anything wrong, but passing the blame is easier than blaming myself. Wait, that's wrong too. Whatever, I'm too eager to care.

Speaking of wrong though, I'm fairly certain that the earth I'm currently spitting out tastes just as revolting as the earth from Earth. Earth's earth is the same as magical earth. Heartwarming, isn't it?

The current mess of my uncoordinated arms and legs have brought me close enough to the humanoid to make out its features. 

It's a he, it's a human, and he's definitely not handsome.

No offense, buddy.

I have no idea what passes for good looks here, so I don't know for sure, but missing teeth, and dirt just about everywhere can't be attractive to anyone.

Oh! I'm getting distracted, I best stick to the infallible plan I made earlier.

“H....HEL-L-LOOOO!”

“TAKE ME To Y-your W-w-w-w-w-izard!” I exclaim at a rapidly diminishing volume while jumbling towards him.

Um.... that wasn't quite right. I t-think I skipped straight to step f-four.

R-Running and talking don't r-really go t-t-together in the first place. 

Uh....

T-that's an excuse.

I'm so incredibly nervous that my thoughts are even stuttering.

I guess in this new life of mine I'm bad with high pressure social situations. Based on my divine dealings, I think I'm starting to realize I was probably bad at those kinds of situations in my past life too. Maybe it's why I wanted to be secluded wizard in the first place? I'll never know.

What I do know is that I've been practicing talking to animals lately, shouldn't that have helped me improve? Actually, that was mostly unsuccessful now that I think about it. 

Whoops.

…

Roughly 10 seconds was enough time to both regain myself and amble closer to the man. I ambled too close and too fast, because I fell over again right at his feet. 

I look up and give him my best friendly smile, but then I quickly retract it.

This is serious.

I'm hoping I made it in time.

I might have offended him with my clearly superior teeth.

Oh. He's finally greeting me in return.

With the business end of that rod he was holding.

How do I know it's the business end?

That's easy.

It's metallic.

It's sharp.

And most importantly... it's pointy.

I'm Wilson, and uhhh... w-well.... 

I think I might be in trouble.

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