Monday began with a worse start than Saturday. I had drooled on my pillow. Again.
I nervously got up and went to the bathroom, looking at my tongue. It hadn't gotten longer, but it still looked flatter than normal. I pulled my tongue back into my mouth. I felt a distinct discomfort. Like it felt cramped inside.
I breathed in deep, causing my senses to be filled with all the smells in the bathroom. I panted, and licked my nose. Trying to relax. Maybe this was all stress. I had been feeling stressed out when I was with my friends, then I'd felt stressed out from being embarrassed about my panting - it probably pushed me into this old habit. Then I freaked out from the panting, which only got me more stressed. I needed to relax. If I felt like I needed to pant, I'd find a time I could do it, and then do it. It wouldn't be a big deal. I'd just relax.
And so I got ready for school, slowly becoming more calm, panting less. It would be okay.
The panic began to rise up once more however, when I got to school. I did not consider myself a shy person, but I suddenly felt suffocated as I walked through the crowds. They were going to see something. Anything. They were going to realize I had some bizarre problem.
I rushed to my locker as I felt the urge to pant rising. When I got there, I opened the door and quickly check to make sure no one was looking at me. I panted and licked my nose. Slowly I was able to calm down again after taking deep breaths. I fought the fear that people were noticing how loud my panting was. It was all in my head. I was only thinking it was super loud.
I got out my home tablet and changed it out for my school one, charging in the locker. As I put it in my pocket, I caught my reflection in my locker mirror.
No. I had to be imagining it. I was making myself go crazy. But despite my denial, something was there. My nose was naturally a bit upturned... but it appeared more pronounced. I placed a finger up to it. It was... damp. The texture of it also felt different too.
I gripped the edge of the locker door, to the point that it hurt. Don't freak out. Don't freak out. I breathed deep. The influx of air suddenly blasted me with the scent of tons of high schoolers. It felt just like the cacophony of all the noise in the hallway, but for my nose instead. The nausea of it distracted me for a moment, and I shut my locker door and began marching to my Physics class.
The situation did not improve when I got to class. New smells hit my nostrils. The smell of an old classroom had always been there, but now I could pick it apart with detail - as well as smelling all the other students sitting down at their desks. It thankfully wasn't as intense as it had been in the hallway, but I was still able to discern that unfortunately, some of the guys in the class had not showered that morning - or had put on some awful body spray.
I did notice amid the smells from the girls one that I somehow recognized. I briefly caught a glimpse of Jackie before I looked away. No. Not now. I was already uncertain with where I stood with her, but the last thing I needed was for her to notice me being weird. Unfortunately, I sat right next to her. At the time it had seemed like a steal. Over time it had grown more stressful. Today it was unbearable.
I closed my eyes, forcing myself to just relax. Get my heart rate down. The room was thankfully cooler than the heat at home, so my desire to pant was lessened. The bell rang, and I directed my attention to my tablet, starting on our daily quiz from our homework. This class was making me begin to realize that my dream in Junior High of being an engineer was not going to happen, even if I didn't have to do the math by hand.
Mr. Dun had questions on his tests like "if you are attempting to outrun a raptor on a skateboard..." that made it slightly more tolerable, but no amount of humor made the questions on friction easier for me.
"Morning everyone," Mr. Dun said. "Hope that on your way to class this morning you were able to get through the freezing weather, and didn't have your own experience with lack of friction like I did."
Several members of the class laughed. Jackie notably did not. I wasn't feeling much in the mood either.
Mr. Dun, as he was prone to do, got off on a tangent about something completely unrelated to class. It made the lectures more tolerable but didn't always translate well teaching the material - most of which I had to learn from watching the supplementary material. My eyes drifted to the old XKCD comics that Mr. Dun had all over the walls. I'd read many of them before, but it was a distraction.
As the class progressed and Mr. Dun got into his lecture, I started feeling a tinge of pain in my nose. I flared my nostrils, but it still remained. The tickling feeling in there brought on a sneeze. I hoped that it would subside after that, but no. I put my finger to my nose - dry. Uncomfortably dry.
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I covertly hid my mouth with my hand, and licked my nose. After a minute or so, I did it again, and the pain began to subside.
This... was not a good development.
"You okay?"
I snapped to attention as I realized Jackie was looking at me.
"What?" I whispered.
"You're just really tense," she said.
Phew. She hadn't noticed my strange behavior.
"Yeah," I said, "I'm just... "
I rubbed my nose with my arm, acutely noticing the damp mark it left on my sleeve.
"... I'm just feeling a bit stuffy is all. Can't smell really well or anything."
"You're not missing much," Jackie said. "This place smells old and gross."
"Oh," I said, "I never really thought about it."
She gave me a sort of confused look. I'd never noticed before, but her ears sort of moved up oddly with the expression.
"I've always had a better sense of smell than most people," Jackie said. "It's really obnoxious."
I sighed, resting my head on folded arms. Part of me wanted to divulge what was happening. I wanted some kind of person to lean on, to reassure me that it was okay. Maybe Jackie had experience with this. Maybe she knew what was happening with my sense of smell.
I flinched as I noticed her staring at me again. Her deep eyes contemplated me. They were unique, one eye was blue, and the other green. In the past I'd found it kinda cool. Now seeing them peer into my soul was disturbing.
"What?"
"Your nose is... wet..."
I wiped it again. "Yeah, just a bit stuffy is all, we should probably focus -"
"He finished the lecture," Jackie said, "it's classwork time. Didn't you notice?"
"Uh - "
"Well if you're feeling under the weather, maybe you should get some sinus medication from the office or something."
"Oh yeah," I said, "maybe."
I turned my attention to my tablet, pretending to work on problems that I totally knew how to do. Jackie was a very nosy person, so to speak, I had noticed. She did not have much of a filter. In some ways that comforted me because it showed the girl that I liked wasn't perfect. In other ways it filled me with dread at what potentially rude thing she might say.
Or in this case, what embarrassing thing she might notice and bring up. I could've been honest and see how she reacted, but I was focused on social survival today. The last thing I wanted was to destroy any potential of something between us.
Class ended, and as everyone filed out the door, I took the opportunity to once again lick my nose. As I walked off into the hallway, I made eye contact with Jackie. She had that confused look on her face again. I quickly turned away, and made my way to the bathroom. My actions were determined, robotic, until I went in and saw my reflection in the mirror.
I choked back a surprised squeal. My nose was definitely different. More upturned, cool and wet... and darker. No wonder Jackie was looking at me weird! I looked like a freak!
I heard a stall door open behind me, and I turned my face away as I walked out into the hall.
This was bad. Very bad. I couldn't pretend anymore. Couldn't hold onto delusion anymore. Something was happening to my nose, and my tongue. There was a temptation to resort to "I've wronged someone and been cursed" - but I was not yet that desperate. I didn't necessarily believe there weren't unexplained, supernatural things in this world, but I definitely didn't believe in some kind of magic nonsense.
I'd worry about that later. Right now I needed a solution. Jackie's suggestion to go to the office gave me an idea.
"Can I help you?" a receptionist asked as I walked into the main office.
"Yeah," I said. I feigned a cough into my arm, and then pulled up my jacked to cover my face. "I've got a bit of a cold and I'm wondering if you have any masks."
"Of course," the woman said, reaching into a drawer and handing me one.
"Thanks."
Relief came over me as I put on the mask, hiding my deformity. My damp nose pressed against the cloth, causing a shiver to go through me. I was safe though. For now.
"Do you need anything else? Some Ibuprofen?"
"No," I said, "except maybe another mask."
Unless they had "stop bizarre changes to the tongue and nose medicine" they probably couldn't help me. I put the extra mask in my jacket pocket and began walking to my next class. No, I needed to tell my parents. I couldn't just pretend this wasn't happening to me - especially when it could be very serious.
For now at least, I could relax. I could get into my normal routine. Other than Jackie looking at my oddly again at lunch, everything was normal.
It was the last normal school day I'd ever have.