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Revision #3 (destroy tell signs) [no hads]

Before the sun thought of walking its dog, Morning Light, Lex became fully alert. He stared up at the ceiling with a mind full of thoughts. Pondering didn't help him achieve an objective for the day beyond gaining xp.

He reached over Cher and unplugged his phone. Wincing when Cher's eyes fluttered and she adjusted the cover on her shoulders.

"Sleep okay?" She turned to him.

"I did, thank you." He kissed her forehead.

"I'm going to start breakfast." Cher climbed out of bed and grabbed her pants and slipped them on. "Hey, when you first moved in, why did you stop showing up in the morning for runs?"

Lex sat up and turned on his phone. "I worked graveyard shifts. Plus you had a man when I spotted you in your chef outfit."

"I left him that second day. He said I didn't have enough time for his broke ass." Cher fixed her button up.

"Well, that is bad news. I was definitely interested."

"I still am." Cher walked out and closed the door.

A hand walked across his chest. "She isn't the only one, you know."

Lex smiled at the purple hair. "What's your name?"

"Emily Hart. You can check out my IG." Emily threw a leg over his lap and winked.

Morning became fantastic and that was before he tasted breakfast. A week free and he already fulfilled two goals on his bucket list.

[Pov switch can go here. Maybe Military Major Duncan, oof should have written povs switched before editing.. lesson for next time.. gain a brain..]

Captain Duncan polished his twin bars on his patrol cap. There was currently nothing better to do than sit and wait. Wait on the damn civilians to gather, wait on the damn command from higher up, wait on the damn blacksmiths to finish fixing their shoddy gear.

"Do we really need the civilians for this mission? We already outnumber the enemy two to one?" Lt. Yurt picked at the strings attached to his uniform, while keeping his head shielded from the beaming sun.

"Of course, we gain a lot by allowing them to assist. Just that the command is still on this wait and ready bullshit." Captain Duncan put back on his pc and pulled out Bowie to pick his nails.

"Aren't you supposed to be in a meeting?" Private Lemoore leaned out the gun pit.

"No idea what you mean."

"Why can't the weather make up its mind? It's winter but the sun also hot as fuck? This is why the south is better. November comes and it's a light chill. You can still walk around in shorts and a tank top." Private Lemoore lamented.

"It's still autumn. Just expect a little snow next week." Lt. Yurt patted down his uniform.

Captain Duncan nodded at a girl in tights but it was showing more legs. "Back in my day, when a woman threw on shorts to go to the beach, they had a little lift to life. Now, it's like women become car salesmen. Hitting you with a pretty interior then you step back and check the paint job and find dents and scratches."

"She looks alright to me." Private Lemoore eyed her.

"I agree with the boss man. Is asking for a little ass in tights too hard? It's like going to hooters but you get the one flat chested girl. When you ask for bigger she hits you with body shaming shit." Lt. Yurt spit on the ground.

"This is why we have sharp meetings every week." Pfc. Burns scrubs her staff's orb with a washcloth.

"We have sharp meetings because you women can't take the truth. If you ain't got no chest, why bother trying to wear a bra period. Not like we can tell the differences. You ain't supporting shit to begin with." Lt. Yurt turned in his seat.

"Why does it matter to you what we wear? Do you see us asking why you are wearing loose boxers instead of the old men's draws that's supposed to support small dicks?"

"My dick isn't small. Medics confirmed it last weight check, extra twenty pounds made me overweight." Private Lemoore patted his thigh. "Ain't that right, boy?"

Captain Duncan stood up and turned to the private. "Didn't your wife turn gay because you weren't as big as her ten dollar toy? I could have sworn you were crying to jag about suing vibrators."

"I'm a big guy but when you need bigger than almost nine inches, you went from marrying a horse rancher to fucking a horse. I can't compete so I have to take one for the team, sue the creators."

Lt. Yurt couldn't hold it anymore. Tears flooded his cheeks. "Shit man. I'm small, like I can't even measure it, small but I got three kids. You telling me, hitting her kidneys couldn't compare to a plastic toy?"

"I have one that feels just like a dick. It has the skin, the warmth, it even throbs but never goes down." Pfc. Burns held her staff up to the sunlight.

"I have one of those too after two pills and a cup of scotch." Captain Duncan sat back down.

"Bring it in!"

"About fucking time." Private Lemoore climbed out of the gunner hatch.

All the soldiers quickly made a horseshoe around the Major and First Sgt. The civilians slowly migrated over like they were confused with the weather change.

"Alright! We all know we are going to hit the Aliens base. Current intel states the current configuration Goblins in the outer layer and orcs in the inner. Goblins have two combat types that are a threat. The spear throwers and the rogues. Orcs warriors are standard, followed by shield bearers, and finally the mages. Just be warned, they have upgraded to elite mobs and gold star bosses now. If you see an orc hitting harder than normal, call him out. Let's put numbers on him." Major dimes folded up his print out. "As far as safety goes, we will be bringing three medic teams. Civilians need to get their own teammates to them while my guys know the protocol. Okay, meeting over. Let's head out according to the teams."

Captain Duncan raced back to his humvee. They were the first stage.

"About fucking time! I was going stir crazy looking at the mass majority of thin lips and loss growth development plan." Private Lemoore jumped onto the hood of the humvee, next step right into the gunner hatch.

"We just finished talking about body shaming and here you go again. No wonder your wife left you. All this disrespect. " Pfc. Burns climbed in and jammed her door shut.

"You can't blame him for having eyes and stating facts. If my chest got lost in the mail, it got lost in the mail. Blame the mailman for the loss, not the guy making a simple observation." Captain Duncan got behind the wheel and turned the big bear on.

"But if i say your dick hasn't seen the light of day since you were born, you are going to get upset, right?"

"Defamation! You haven't even seen me with my top off." Lt. Yurt interjected.

"Your ex wife did and that is all I needed to know."

"You mean the woman that comes to blow me for lunch? Makes sense you are using her judgement for an accurate report." Lt. Yurt drummed on the back of the passenger seat.

"I have an important question but as the tank. The very vulnerable tank to arrows and magic to the face, why am I in the gunner hatch?" Pvt. Lemoore pulled his recurve bow upward and checked the two quivers.

"Because regulations stated that women can't put their heads outside of wheel vics." Captain Duncan said with a smirk.

"What fucking regulations is that?" Pvt. Lemoore leaned against the hard padding.

"The regulations they created when they joined a combat mos." Lt. Yurt supplied.

"That's not fair. I would not mind being in the gunner hatch if it was my duty as a machine gunner. I'm just a lowly paper guru tasked to assist you peons." Pfc Burns tilted her chin upward.

"Imagine.." Captain Duncan shut up and the green light came on. He didn't waste time throwing the humvee in drive and peeling out the motor pool.

*****

Pvt. Lemoore snapped off six arrows within a second. "I just want to say that I don't understand why we have rogues if I can do their jobs better?"

The sounds of bodies hitting the pavement went unnoticed by those in the humvee.

"We can't hear you over the engine!" Lt. Yurt said.

"But we are using mics?"

"The engine is so loud in my ear. Like an annoying fly that keeps buzzing around my head."

"But the headphones have noise canceling?"

"Damn, why is the wind so loud?"

"Why are you even responding to me if you can't hear? Ever hear a deaf person pay attention to someone talking?

"Your mom makes me deaf?

"You would sleep with that? Damn, mummy chaser!"

"I'm telling Miss Lemoore next time I come over to dinner, what you said."

"Think I'm scared? I bought my own apartment."

"Alright, we are here. Battle formation, thanks." Captain Duncan dropped a heavy foot on the brake that slammed everybody forward.

"Why do we continue to let him drive? He still doesn't have his license." Pfc. Burns rubbed her head that slammed into the hard headrest.

"Because he is the one that signs our evals." Lt. Yurt climbed out the car faster than a rabbit disappearing into a burrow.

The three wizards rolled out the car but the goblin's patrol laid dead with arrows sticking out their eye socket.

"Just call me, bond… James Bond." Pvt. Lemoore climbed out the gunner hatch and retrieved his quivers.

"No sword this time?" Pfc Burns questioned a warrior's choice of using a bow over a sword.

"Healers said my knee still wasn't healed enough to go swinging Bailey." Pvt. Lemoore dropped four more goblins.

"Damn! Save some kills for us!" Lt. Yurt cast a shield.

Captain Duncan laughed. "Let's clear the outer area and wait for the rest to meet up at lz."

A wand morphs from a ring on Captain Duncan's ring. He took a step forward with the intent to lead the way but Pvt. Lemoore already kicked open the first door and held a short curved blade.

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"Didn't he say his knee was still messed up?" Captain Duncan looked back with confusion.

"Apparently, it will only stop him from using Bailey but not Jessica." Lt. Yurt followed Lemoore in.

Pfc. Burns held up a hand. "We are wizards? Why are we checking houses one by one?"

Captain Duncan's eyes widened and he slashed his hand at a building across the street. A bright, red beam slashed right into the building. Two seconds later, a large amount of debris went dancing into the air.

Pfc. Burns didn't wait to be outdone. Three large flaming eagles flew out of her staff and slammed right into a two-storey house. The house exploded outward. Body parts were mixed in with pipes and barbie dolls.

They both went down the street blowing up houses until they reached the mainstrip where stores decorated every inch possible.

"Well shit. If I had known they were going to have fun, I wouldn't have provided you support." Lt. Yurt jogged up to the group.

"It isn't my fault they can't bother to do urban clearing properly anymore." Lemoore grumbled.

Explosions rocked the late autumn day. Yet, orcs were running in heavy armor. Shields were gleaming in the fire that spreaded to a liquor store and its neighbors.

"They came fast but our plan worked." Lt. Yurt glanced at the other groups who started following in after clearing the escape route.

Warriors with shields moved to the front and instantly clashed with the enemy. Different flame attacks flew over their heads as the wizards engaged each other. Only the rogues sat around protecting the wizards from the little quiet goblins.

The civilian force crashed into the orcs from the left. The fight quickly turned into a ballad of the fallen.

"Let's move up!" The Major shouted over the sounds of explosions.

They met two groups of orcs that were quickly wiped out as human forces grouped up. Until they hit the gates and a large force awaited them. Crossbow bolts covered the ground, slamming into handheld shields. Others slammed into barriers. Fireballs quickly followed, which forced the human wizards to change their barriers from covering themselves into brick formations that formed interlaced semi domes.

"Okay, let's move upward! Wizards, open up. Focus on one side." The major shouted.

"How does he expect us to defend and fire at the same time?" Pfc. Burns grumbled in annoyance.

"Well it is expected that they will adapt tactics. It seems we are no longer in the newbie village." Lt. Yurt sent several fire drills at the left side.

"Before it was a newbie village?" A civilian launched regular fireballs.

"Of course. Goblins were easy kills. Then they fed us orcs layers at times. Now we have their full configuration and they are just adapting strategies." Lt. Yurt explained while switching targets as his enemy fell.

"Bah! Still a newbie village. We haven't fought a boss yet."

"You mean those four?"

Four mages floated in the air and began raining down lightning strikes. The human barrier rippled like a lake during a rainy season.

"Holy fuck! They hit hard. Can the special forces distract those fuckers?" A civilian yelled.

Captain Duncan took off his pc and flew up. He lashed out with his fist and several large fists drilled into the orcs shield. Others flew out the crowd and launched their own signature attacks.

The four orcs quickly fell under the combined might of the special force.

"Shit wasn't that hard." Captain Micks laughed.

The Melee slammed into the Orc front line.

"Shield bitch down! Drag him out the way!"

"Elite boss!"

"We got you!"

"Orcs wizards folded!"

"My fucking knee!"

"Bro, they can heal your busted knee but they can't heal a cut off head. Move the fuck out the way!"

"I can't believe your momma gave birth to you. I would have given your dad head only."

"Can I get some head?"

"After you remove your face?"

"I was talking to a real woman."

"As a real woman, I think you should ask a healer to promote your positive outlook."

"Is that a fancy way to say I'm ugly?"

"Yes."

"But my dick is big and I have a Brad Pitt mask."

"That makes it better."

"Boss down."

"Move forward!"

Captain Duncan cut down the fleeing orcs that tried to flee out the back of a hotel.

"Hey, capt'n, why are we on escape duty?" Lt. Yurt fired a couple fire bullets into the face of a charging orc.

"Well, it's not my fault if that is what you are implying." Captain Duncan rested against a box truck grill.

"So it is your fault!" Pvt Lemoore shot a passing orc in the knee. "That is for my knee." He shot another in its eye.

"You guys acting like you guys don't fuck up." Captain Duncan took out his phone and began playing a game.

"I'm an angel." Pfc. Burns burned three orcs to death.

Lt. Yurt patted his pocket and sighed. "I left my cigars behind but that is the last of the smart ones. Should we just chill for a minute?"

"I'm down with that." Captain Duncan rapidly tapped his screen.

Lemoore rested on the stairs while waiting for the call to return.

"Looting done. Retreat."

"About fucking time!" Lemoore rubbed his eyes.

******

Lex stepped out of the apartment and saw brand new creatures that look like inbred body builders. Not to mention that the goblins looked more organized under the lord of the rings looking orcs.

An ugly as shit orc pointed at the fourth landing with his sword, spoke in some kind of guttural tongue. The bloody sods arched back like professional pitchers and threw their spears like fast balls.

Lex laughed at the good attempt while deflecting the spears to his left and right. He walked down the stairs to the third landing, meeting the first brave souls. They were greeted with a firebolt to the face. The comrades were extremely brave to watch their front runners get their faces melted and continue to come.

Or maybe it was because they looked down at the Orcs crossing their arms that they delivered themselves to painful deaths. Whatever it was, they added to the morning stench and made breakfast a little more uncomfortable.

Lex just hose them down and switched to his best penetrating magic spell, fire arrow. He launched them at the orcs from the second landing, enjoying the white mist flowing into his chest.

The orcs no longer sat there like ducks for counting. They rushed to the stairway with killing intent. Yet, they dropped like flies hit with extreme Raid.

The first to make it to Lex got punched in the chest with a fire arrow. It's eyes wide open in disbelief. The next to charge in behind their comrade and split in two different directions at the last minute.

Lex hit them with a frost net that shot them backwards down the first landing's stairs. Like getting hit with buckshot point blank. Two fire arrows to the chest finished them off. The next two couldn't use their ability to dash forward to close the distances. Having to step over their dead brothers became a tourist trap. The moment they lifted their legs over the corpse, they died to arrows.

The survivors took one look at the pile of corpses and fled. They jumped over the hedges and through the gate and disappeared down the street.

Lex shook his head and leaned against the stairs railing.

"Some quick fuckers."

He decided to take a break and opened his stats panel. Death of the orcs gave him sixty xp per kill, enough to give him a level. Two free points in intellect and one in wisdom used up his three free attribute points.

Lex turned around and stormed upstairs, throwing open his apartment door. "Way clear. Let's get a hassle on."

He stepped back and watched the women flood out in groups. They took the stairs two at a time which was hella surprising. God created an elevator and they claimed it as theirs a long time ago. Must have been really nervous not to want to wait a minute for it to come up.

Lex watches a YouTube video of a group of wizards mowing down orcs like cutting grass with a zero-turn mower. It seems every wizard changed the firebolt into some form to give themselves swagger. This one guy shot out doves, while his partner fired off bullets, and the female only used frost nova in the appearance of chains.

"What an interesting group." Lex put his phone away and watched the first group come back.

They basically sped walk with a heavy ass suitcase, dragging it up the stairs. Lex walked down and lifted their bags up. He didn't get a thank you but all that ass on one of them could not have been more of an excellent window shopper experience.

After helping them into the house, he posted up on the stairs. Which in turn, meant he made multiple trips up and down. If he had no plans for working out his ass before, he got all he could dream of now.

The weirdest point was when he help this flat walking TV. She pecked him on the cheek like he was a four year old meeting his aunt for the first time. He almost threw her bag off the landing and made her walk down to get it.

Lex wiped the sweat off his head and made his way to the gate. The street was still cluttered but the decomposed bodies looked a little better than before, slightly.

Gunfire went off sporadically on his way to the superstore. He occasionally found a patrol group walking out with captives but magic was like a cheat on drugs when the enemies only had swords and spears.

The parking lot leading to the superstore held an assortment of captives but the most ironic ones, was the group sleeping in vans and Suvs. If their cars weren't tinted out, then maybe the orcs would see the kids with their faces pressed against the glass with wide eyes.

Lex greeted his new friends with fire arrows. Enjoying the view of stun orcs turning this way and that to find him ducked down behind a truck on lifts. He pops up to send a few more to the afterlife.

A thud sounded right next to his head, he didn't have to look behind him to see the black body of the spear. He took three steps to the right and several more spears slammed into a perfectly good truck.

Lex turned around and tossed a fireball at them. Ignoring the screaming little shits that were still alive but bleeding out, he circled down low and avoided the smart ass orcs. They didn't group up which made it harder for him to just blast them away.

Yet, his fire arrows kept picking them off until they reached a sizable number that made them back off. Lex climbed onto a sedan and killed the fleeing bastards.

"Are you guys really going to stand there for them to come back?"

The answer was no. Those flipping cowards fled but he didn't think they thought it through. Fleeing randomly equals being captured again but it wasn't his problem.

He found a decent truck and forged a mana key. It took him a few seconds to shape the prongs according to the lock but the big Bella opened up for him and it was push to start. The truck started with a beautiful purr. It crawled around the parking lot and back right up the slide doors.

"Haven't been shopping in a long ass time. Feel like I'm young again." Lex turned on his Spotify Playlist and grabbed a cart.

Lex pushed the cart over the door stop and caught two jokes hanging out the truck. They didn't even look like someone you could take seriously.

"Yo, it will be smart to go rob someone else." Lex activated his shield.

"If you were smart, you would give us the keys." One of the guys in the driver seat jumped down and pointed his shotgun from his waist.

Lex just shook his head and blasted him with a firebolt. The fool screamed for a few seconds. The liquid fire melted his face faster than acid. His partner walked around the front end and looked at his mate resting on the ground. He took one look at Lex before burning out. His sneakers sounded like tires screeching but he ran like a professional track star, even while holding his pants up.

Lex shook his head at these kids nowadays. Didn't have the brain to tell who to fuck with and who to avoid. Normally if you see a lone guy shopping with dead bodies leading up to his truck, you wouldn't fuck around.

The truck started up and he pulled out the parking lot, catching some fleas that followed him all the way to the apartment. He backed the truck and texted Cher to come down.

One of the men got out of a Tahoe. The fly flew all the way to the driver window and knocked.

Lex rolled down the window with a smile. "You know following a murderer is how you get murder."

The man with his long ass black hair just smiled and held up his hand. "I'm Jay. Former marine. We are interested in joining up with you, you're recruiting?"

Lex shook the man's hand and then opened the truck door. "Alright, I'm on the fourth landing. Many of those apartments beside mine are empty."

Jay nodded and bounced, organizing the males to take the heavy shit up and the women folks to grab small stuff. Those two bug-eyed kids seemed to have developed a cat's curiosity.

Emily led a bunch of women over. They came with two-wheeled carts and began loading up.

"You couldn't use the bags?" Emily held up the single toothbrushes.

"I didn't think about it really."

"I bet."

"How about you come next time?"

"You think I will act like a scared bitch and say no?"

"Of course. If I had higher expectations, I wouldn't even have said a word and just waited for you to flop."

"Have you ever been married?"

"No, I was focused on my career but I have been in a relationship for two years."

"What happened?"

"Her brothers decided to get drunk and rape a girl at a party. I help them figure out how hot hell is." Lex carried three air mattresses upstairs.

Emily stared at him then down at the boxes in her hand. "He's joking, right?"

"He has prison records in his closet." Summer grabbed a box.

"Oh. So he's a real life hero." Emily turned around to bring her load.

****

"I cooked lunch." Cher started putting the groceries onto the counter.

Lex's eyes followed her ass. "Okay, do you want me to sit at the table or can I hide in my room?"

"I said it so you sit at the table with us or on the couch." Cher opened the microwave and passed him a plate with some kind of pasta.

Lex took it and went to the couch and sat down between two slender women who had just that one minor defect that kept them from being eights. They scooted over like Lex had a disease or something.

Emily walked over with a plate and jerked her thumb. One of them got up and she took her place.

"So you became a boss?" Lex took a bite.

Emily snorted. "This coming from the retired drug lord."

Lex ignored that and smashed the pasta. He got up and walked into the kitchen. Cher snatched the plate from his hand and pointed back in the living room.

"I got it. Go sit down." Cher sat the plate aside and went back to fixing the pantry.

Lex sighs and snuck into his room. He grabbed his tablet and laid across the bed. He had tons of notifications from news but a few were YouTube clips of people fighting the Aliens.

He glanced back as Emily and Summer walked into the room and crawled to either side of him.

"Why don't you sit down with us?" Emily began rubbing his back.

"I'm not a group person. Plus I am just looking at videos." He held up the tablet.

"Some of those aren't all that good. I see you are more creative but a good one to watch is Ice God. The things he turns frost nova spells into is really impressive." Summer took the tablet and typed in the guy's name.

Lex frowned at her just snatching his shit like that. To make it worse, it was just another fake fuck.

A guy was being a little too pretentious while trying to hide a crew in the back that cast frost nova when he did to make the thickness of the ice actually hold the Orcs. The fool turned frost nova into different weapons but he stuck to using a bow to pick off orcs. It would have been impressive but his friend jordans was caught on camera.

Even if you ignore the impractical applications, the guy wasn't physically capable to even fight hand to hand with his mom, let alone a real killer.

Lex took the tablet back as the guy was good but his kill ratio was lower than mana usage. That was just polite talk.

"You don't like it?" Summer asked.

"His mana efficiency is low. He's not getting a good kill to mana usage. Frost nova is already around five mana points and one point per second. In other words, the bow seems cool because he's keeping the mana but the arrows use maybe two or three points. Add in the need to send more than three arrows per kill. It's not worth it compared to turning a firebolt into an arrow. It's two points originally." Lex clicked on a guy calling himself professor.

This Professor was a little better at the fact that he showed his teammates. His best application was transforming a flame shield into an actual external shield that isn't hugging your body. He also attempted other elements with pure mana but the sweat on his forehead showed it wasn't practical.

"What are your thoughts on that guy?" Summer asked.

"His ideas are useful for fights. Having the skin tight shield feels a little scary and the impact goes through." Lex clicked a team fight.

"Which would you have chosen if a mage wasn't optional?" Emily asked.

"Probably the fighter class. The attack they are using has alot of utility. So even though their foundation is terrible, they can kill the enemy." Lex pointed at the guy slashing with his sword quite often.

Emily pointed at the guy in the back with a gun. "What class do you think he is?"

"Probably a rogue. I saw a lot of rogues use guns but the orcs can block them with their swords more often than not." Summer added.

Lex searched for tiger anatomy and began reading the articles instead of wasting his time watching fools show off.

"Wow, your hobbies are dull." Summer slipped out of bed and dropped into a swivel chair, pulling herself to the computer desk.

Emily leaned her head against his shoulders and read with him.

"Is there a reason you are looking this up?"

Lex nodded. "Mana is correcting our bodies to a perfect form of us as we level but when we hit our limits, then what? I want to see about strengthening the physical which should allow me to enhance the capacity."

"So you want to become a cat-man because it might help you surpass your limits?"

"And because it's cool. Tiger-man would be sexy."

Emily's mouth opened. She rolled onto her back and grabbed her phone. Lex chuckled and kept studying.

Cher walked in sometime later. She crawled onto his back and laid her head onto his back. "What are you guys doing?"

Emily pulled out her headphones. "He's trying to figure out how to transform into a cat man."

"Why a cat man?"

Lex rolled over and Cher got on his chest.

"Because cats are sexy and werewolves usually have improved physical performance. So a cat should do the same which would give me an advantage as a mage." Lex sat the tablet down and began kissing on Cher.

"So you stop to kiss her but I have been here the whole time." Emily put her earphone back into her ear.

Lex turned his head and kissed Emily. Then picked up his tablet and continued studying. He searched to see if anybody mixed cat and human DNA or muscle fibers. The first couple articles were arguing the feasibility. Next two had some significant points and examples but nothing fully developed.

It took him half an hour to discover someone who compared both werewolves and werecats. The guy actually developed a blend to verify the feasibility of it.

Lex compared it to an actual cat to see if he was being serious or just giving writers an opportunity. He found many similarities. This made him read the explanation to discover why the author picked certain chromosomes to blend with humans.

"Did you discover something?" Emily asked.

Lex glanced at her. "I did but I'm just verifying why he picked what he did."

"And?"

"A lot of it feels legit but I want to do some experiments."

"So you are that type?"

Lex looked at Cher who fell asleep on his chest. "Well I am now because I can and pass me a pillow, getting neck cramps."

Emily hit him in the face with a pillow. "Anything else you need?"

Lex grabbed and stuffed it behind his head. "A new girlfriend."

"I'll put out an ad." Emily turned up her show.