I took three hurried steps backwards and fell to the ground, staring at the pendant. The one I had made with my own two hands, oh so many years ago. “How… No, why is any of this happening? ‘How’ does not matter. This is the god's playing with my life, and I am not a god. I am human, mortal.” There are things that I cannot control… as I am now. But that is a thought for the far, far future when I am not sitting in a dirty abandoned school building. Thoughts started to fill my mind and I felt my head and heart was heavy. I spent minutes and minutes just sitting sprawled on the dirty trash and plastic covered ground, looking at the pendant.

I stand up heavily through the mental and physical exhaustion that have started plaguing me lately. I am still looking at my pendant. Whatever the gods' intentions are, and I am sure that there are multiple playing with my life, all with different goals, I am not going to leave my pendant here. I remember clearly the day when I had first sanded over the stone wolf's face, the day that I gave it to her, the day she gave it back- No… I can't- shouldn't remember that…

I stopped thinking for a moment with a tight face and suddenly all the stress was gone, and leaned down to pick it up without hesitation or fear any more. This was mine. The gods could fuck off.

It was warm. Perfectly normal once again. I tightened my grip around it and without having any time to think over my actions I slung the cord that my pendant was on around my neck and let my pendant fall to the center of my bare chest where I watched it sway before it stilled.

I looked up and out at the room with gritted teeth, feeling a tightness in my chest that had nothing to do with any injury or tiredness.

My shirt and jacket were just a foot or so away from me, lying on the dirty grey floor in a heap. I took careful steps towards them and shook them both out before putting them on one at a time, sliping my shirt over my head and sliding on my jacket before zipping it up, covering my chest and my pendant along with it.

It is said that there are only a few times in one's life that truly defines who we are. I thought I would have experienced them all a while ago, prepared to die in the wilderness of Canada as a shell of who I was. I remember when I was ten, accepting a girl my own age into my parents house after I realized what she had been through and giving her food and my own bed. I remembered when I gave this same pendant to her when I first admitted that I loved her almost ten years later. I remember when I was watching the woman that she had become two years after lying in a hospital and giveing the pendant to me again with her dying breath. I remember running. From everyone, everything.

I gave a choked sob, letting the thoughts come without the normal resistance I might have given previously before smiling. I could feel a piece of my heart settle in my chest with my decision and a warmth like I hadn't felt in years flooded me. I sank to my knees and closed my eyes for a long second before rising again with wide open eyes and a bittersweet smile.

Then I started laughing. A deep chested laugh, one that I hadn't done in a long time. There was no thought behind it, I just felt silly all of a sudden. I laughed until my chest hurt, when I quieted down with the same smile on my face. My memory still hurts me. But that's alright. I accepted the pain. A reminder to myself, in the future.

I started walking once again, feeling strangely weak and light as I made my way through the Auton corpses to the door that led into the rest of the building I found myself in.

I didn't have to open up the door, as it was lying in bits on the ground nearby, so I walked out into the desolate and ravaged hallway without any issue besides watching where I was stepping. There were some small scrapes in the walls and floor around me, alongside the remains of one or more upgraded Autons and I spent a second looking down at them, almost marveling at what had happened here. I had done this, not some god or spirit. I felt it. This was me, in control of my power.

I looked out at the hallway around me for a second longer before I started walking through the hallways at random, looking at what I caused during my attack. Though I wasn't sure what I was doing, I could feel that my mind was internalizing something. It was a feeling, not something that I could really put to words in my mind, but I could feel it wasn't quite understood by me in the first place like it wasn't realized yet.

I walked through the entirety of the first floor before I found the wrecked assembly line with cut power lines and several smoking electronics alongside melted plastic and shattered metal. It was right in the center of the school, in what was probably the cafeteria before the school was abandoned. There were white mannequin Auton corpses here mainly, and they seemed less destroyed then the upgrades but no less dead. I seemed to remember they were more fragile on the inside than the black ones so I had to use less brutal attacks.

I stopped there for a moment, that strange feeling almost bubbling to the surface of my mind in that place. But then it stopped and I started walking again, to the second floor.

I made my way to the stairwell that I tore my way down when I first started the hunt and soon I was stepping up stairs covered in scratch marks on the walls and floor. I remembered flying through the stairway, like a beast on all fours because that's just what I was.

Then I emerged through the doorway and onto the second floor. I looked out, and I could see the events of the fight play out while I looked at the results. After I transformed and my arm healed I threw my spear, killing the one who started to approach Oliver and Olivia, the teenager and his older sister. I saw its body lying a good few feet away from the stairwell, still against the grey wall with my spear like a spike in its head. The others all had claw marks or huge cracks, but not this one.

I tilted my head to the side as I walked down the hallway and to my makeshift spear and the Auton it was stuck in. I could feel that strange feeling creeping up to the surface of my mind once again and I could feel the heat and heaviness of my pendant against my chest.

I leaned down above my spear and wrenched it out of the plastic body, flipping my spear and planting its but into the ground as I looked it over.

The spear itself wasn't any different besides a few small cracks, but I wasn't really thinking about the spear itself. No, I was thinking about my own actions. I had thrown my spear first, killing the Auton that was threatening the kids before I even thought about killing the ones pointing their guns at me. I had placed them above myself.

I remembered at that moment, nothing else was on my mind. Then I transformed into the beast to protect them.

I could feel a strange pulse of a hot and tingling energy starting to flow through my body as I started to relive the moment in my mind, the power coming from the pennant yes, but also from myself. As I turned my attention to it, I could feel that my emotions were acting as a catalyst to the power of the Pendant. Righteous anger, protectiveness, fear… All of the power I had fueled my transformation with made this energy mine. Like it was tempered by me into my own. But as the catalyst to this energy it ate off of my emotions and my body. I felt weaker as I felt my energy start to be consumed.

But it was a natural and constant part of me now, like it had been unlocked as simply and completely as turning a switch. It was simply something that happened now, fueling my body. It would have the side effect of wearing me down faster, mentally and physically. The feeling I had felt before through the halls, it was my own power caused by my own emotions as I looked out at what I did. It was strengthening my body, even as a human. I didn't feel much difference now, but I had a feeling that before long I would feel a huge difference.

My feelings powered me now, in a unique way that I hadn't ever experienced before, that I doubted any human like me had experienced before. It was me, unique.

Experimentally, I willed that power to flow from the Pendant again as I thought about this and it followed my desire. It moved from the Pendant into my body, and from there I could feel the changes that it caused with a clear mind.

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Everything changed at once, but for whatever reason I could feel this transformation was much slower then when I had done so the first time. My emotions were less strong now, and I didnt have the same conviction or strong overwhelming desire that I did then. So with less fuel giving it power, it would be less strong.

But that realization aside, I could feel and I could see my legs shifting to become longer and I could see fur start to grow out while my skin became thicker and my body became hotter. My legs started to bend in a way that would be very bad for a human, but in this case I could feel that my legs suddenly got another joint that allowed me to easily get on all fours properly.

My arms lengthened as well, growing in volume and thickness to have as much muscle as my werewolf legs while my hands grew and suddenly sprouted long claws from each digit that I could see were meant for either digging into the ground for more traction while running or cutting through skin and bone like butter. My right hand that was still clutching onto my hand made spear seemed to creak the wood as I held it, I was much stronger now.

My chest seemed to grow in length a bit as well, but it seemed to mostly just grow in muscle density and volume. My head and neck also changed into a more elongated and wolfish shape while becoming wider and gaining sharp fangs and wolfish teeth, and I could feel my ears shifting to stand up straight and grow in a triangle to allow better hearing.

My sight did shift during this transformation, from what a normal human would see to what a wolf might see on top of all a human had to offer. I could see into the shadows better than I had ever been able to, like a night vision. My color spectrum seemed to deepen as everything in the world seemed to become more saturated and gain more contrast, but also gain a very slight tint of red.

And my sense of smell, that transformed into something that was incredible. But also terrible, due to the state of the abandoned school.

Then my transformation was complete. I looked down at myself for a moment seeing the almost absurd picture of the black furred werewolf that was me, in combat pants and a leather jacket that was definitely too small.

Before I could do anything but look, my new sense of smell caught wind of someone that smelled familiar to me. I recalled in perfect detail that scent from hours previous on the teen boy I saved, Oliver. I turned my head and I caught sight of the boy, looking down the hallway from the stairwell on the far end of the hallway and at me, his expression somewhere between curiosity and worry. I could smell his emotions coming off of him, like a weak scent in a breeze. He had a bag in his hand that smelled strongly, but really good at the same time. Food? Some kind of cooked meat.

I tilted my head to the side while he seemed to slowly and carefully emerge into the hallway. From my perspective he looked slower then he probably would have looked from a human perspective. It was a bit eerie, watching the world in slow motion.

I slowly found the power behind my transformation started to falter and sputter out as I lost my concentration, and I found my body shrinking back into a human again. It felt strangely weak, and vulnerable. But those feelings only lasted a split second, causing me to give a small uncomfortable shudder before I relaxed.

Oliver watched my body turn from wolf to man through the entire process, with only slightly widened eyes and a quizzical tilt to his head to show for it.

He paused when I turned around to face him fully, and he stopped completely when I started walking towards him. There was conflict in his face, seeming worried and maybe a bit scared but I could see his power through it when he looked me in the face. I was smiling with a bit of a quizzical tilt of my own. He sighed and started towards me again, a relief in his face along with an expression of gratitude.

We walked up to each other without any words spoken until we met in front of the woodshop that I had made my small base out of just two days before. Though it felt like much longer.

“Hey, kid. What are you doing back here?” I asked him with a sigh of relief as I looked him over questiningly. He looked fine, better than while he was being threatened by the Auton soldiers and any time I had seen him before that. Probably took a shower.

“Don't call me that, old man.” Oliver scoffed with a small smile before holding out the paper bag he had by his side. “I brought that food. Sorry about not getting it sooner.” He told me with a slight wince and his smile dipped into a tight and worried frown. “Thanks, Oliver.” I thanked him, letting out a breath and giving him an appreciative nod. “And don't worry about it. Thank you, really. I am hungry as hell after all of this, so some good food would really help.” I thank him with a weak chuckle and a grin, feeling a pang in my completely empty stomach and feeling the lack of energy that the Pendant had consumed to fuel my rampage earlier.

Oliver gave a grin at that as well, patting me on the shoulder as he walked through the open door and walked onto the mezzanine, holding out the food and putting it into my hand while he took a seat on the cold metal, just in the same place beside the door he had sat in after I had rescued him. I sat opposite to him on the mezzanine in the same place I was in as well, opening up the bag of fast food and reaching into the bag for some food for the first time in two days. Though again, it felt much longer to me in that moment then I could have thought before.

‘If I feel like this after every time I transform, then food and water might just be a way more important problem for quests. Back on Fera I will most likely be fine, lots of monster rabbits to eat and a whole lake of mostly clean water, but who knows about out in the wider universe, I don't want to starve to death on a spaceship or something stupid like that. My inventory would be a very important part of a solution for problems like this.’ I thought to myself, getting a little carried away in my thoughts as I stared down at the burger I had drawn out before taking a huge bite and starting to scarf down the food like a starving man.

I groaned in joy as I ate it, despite my thirst bringing down the experience with my dry and almost rubbery feeling mouth. I hadn't had anything this good, never mind something I hadn't made myself from something I scavenged or hunted, for a good few years… I needed to do this more often if I could. One forgets about little things like this when living in a civilization after a while I suppose, but damn!

“I am really sorry that I can't pay you properly for this, but thank you. Really. I haven't had an actual hamburger for years…” I moaned out between bites, trying to slow myself down and savour it while it lasts.

Oliver grinned at that, drawing out another burger from the bag and taking a bite out of it with a small wave of his hand vaguely. “No, it's alright. You saved my life, twice. You deserve a free burger at least.” He explained, waving me off and turning solemn for a moment. Then he smiled with bright mischievous eyes as he reached into the bag once again and drew out a can of Coca Cola and handed it over to me. “And a can of pop.” He added as I widened my eyes with a grin as I took it and cracked it open with a hand before taking a sip and sighing as the cool liquid washed away the dryness of my throat and mouth.

“You are a lifesaver.” I told Oliver seriously as I took another bite of my burger. He looked down at his boots with a smile on his face that told me he was enjoying this as much as I was.

We ate in silence for about a minute more, but soon enough Oliver broke the silence as he looked over to me. “I didn't want to bring everyone over here like that, but I let them all tag along anyway. It's my fault that we all nearly died. And I know that you saved all of us in the end anyway, but that's on me and I don't know…” Oliver trailed off, and I looked over my Coke at the kid as he looked at the ceiling, seeming lost and vulnerable.

I really wasn't the best person to talk to about emotional, guilt things… But as I looked at the kid, I could feel for him.

“I have been where you are at.” I told him, remembering a time during a camping trip with friends where I led my friends into a cave. That turned out to not be the smartest decision when we collectively found out that there was in fact a bear sleeping farther in, that somehow we hadn't woken up during our little exploration. Our situations weren't exactly the same, but it was close enough to me to relate and judging by the kid's face that was all he needed to hear.

He gave a nod and a sigh, looking over to me again. “How did you… deal with it?” He asked, and I could hear the unasked question of ‘How do I deal with it?’ in his voice as he looked at me. I suddenly realized that he looked up to me, I think when Oliver saw me he found a role model. That kind of stumped me for a second before I shrugged it off mentally, just willing to help the kid where I can while I can.

“We talked. Me and my friends, we all sat in one big circle by a fire and we all talked.” I answered, giving him the simple answer before I got into it. “The thing I realized from that talk, was that everyone blames themselves for things like that. Survivors' guilt is always a powerful thing even when nobody dies. They all blame themselves for almost getting others killed, even if they just find the smallest and most flimsy reason why they could be at fault they blame themselves. But nothing is really only one person's fault.” I explained, remembering how everyone said something they should have done better, or not done, during the cave incident.

“Thank you, most wise and gracious old man!” Oliver joked with a laugh, and making me realize that I had indeed been playing myself up a bit with that. “You are most welcome, young man, I hope that you find my guidance and advice well!” I gave a snort while I smiled, responding in kind before laughing a bit.

The thing is when things get serious, anything that breaks the build up and the mood instantly releases huge walls of tension and repressed emotion that causes everything to become a thousand times more funny.

My laugh made Oliver start to laugh, and soon our laughter started to grow together until we were both grinning like loons and laughing until it hurt where we clutched at our stomachs and tried to finish our meal through our smiles and occasional small bursts of laughter.