My name is Carver, and I am dead.
Well, at least I’d assume so, the whole floating around in a completely empty space as a spec of light doesn’t exactly scream ‘living’ to me. I’d shrug, but I don’t have any shoulders. Or limbs, for that matter.
Surrounding my on all sides (that’s what I figure, it’s kind of tough to figure out direction in here) is an endless expanse of darkness, stretching on to infinity. I’d tell you if infinite darkness tasted or sounded like anything if I could taste or hear, but sadly, those abilities have been taken away from me. Smells like roast beef, though.
You might be wondering why I know I’m dead. Sure I could be dreaming, or just on some really shitty drugs, if I didn’t remember my last moments with utmost clarity.
I was walking home from university, the University of Alberta, to be exact, not that it matters any more, I’m not going to be learning any more medical science any time soon. Unless they have a full credit course in heaven. Or hell, either one would be better than this empty beefiness. Anyway, I was walking home from school, when I heard someone scream from the Scotiaebank across the street. I turn at the same time I heard the gunshot.
Now I kid you not, time seemed to slow to almost a stop here. I saw across the street, through the advertisement riddled window, a masked man pointing a gun at the teller. He fired, and I watched as the gun flew over the teller’s shoulder, bounce off two walls, the vent on the cieling, pass through a woman’s handbag, smash through the window I was looking through, and sink straight into my brain.
Luckiest man on earth.
Well, with that over with, let’s flash back to the ever exciting present. Yep, still empy, dark, and beefy. I suppose I might as well reflect back on my life as I wait.
Ever since I was a little kid, everyone around me has seen me as a really casual guy. I never tried too hard in sports, never studied my hardest, never really cared about romance. I’m sure that, if I had put the effort in, I could have become a pretty damn skillful guy, I had a lot of talent after all. Even without trying, I came second or third in competitions, got straight As and Bs, and noticed I had a few admirers. Instead, however, I sat around most of the time and either played video games to pass the time, or read fiction novels. In fact, the time I decided to go to med school to become a doctor was the only time in my life I ever tried to achieve a particular goal.
Most people might be unsatisfied by this, but I’m not. I lived my life how I wanted, doing what I liked, learning whatever I wanted, a pretty satisfying life in my eyes. I’m grateful I had laid back parents. Of course, I would have liked to live a little longer, twenty two isn’t exactly the peak of life expectancy for med school students, even with the lethal doses of caffeine. It would have been nice to finish school, become a doctor, maybe work for awhile, then settle down. See the world perhaps, I’ve always loved travelling when my family got around to vacationing. In fact, now I’m-
ERROR
MEMORY WIPE FAILED: DATA CURRENTLY IN USE
RETRY (1) FAILED
RETRY (2) FAILED
BYPASSING...
...
...
What. What the hell is this? A screen?
Okay, it looks like there’s some kind of system here. From what I can inference, this blank beefy place is Limbo, the place where souls go to await the afterlife. Judging from the fact it apparently tried to wipe my memory, I assume I’m in line to be reincarnated. I’m not sure about the whole data currently in use thing, though, I’m certain other souls who came here thought back on there lives, so it must have been something else. Deductive reasoning for the win!
BYPASS COMPLETE
COMMENCING ABILITY ROLL
ERROR
INTERFERENCE DETECTED
AUTOMATIC ABILITY ASSIGNMENT IMPOSSIBLE
COMMENCING MANUAL ASSIGNMENT
Oh? Does this mean I can choose my own abilities?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~CHARACTER~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~NAME: [ENTER]GENDER: [ENTER]RACE: [ENTER]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~STATS~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~STRENGTH: [ENTER]AGILITY: [ENTER]VITALITY: [ENTER]WISDOM: [ENTER]TALENT: [ENTER]CHARISMA: [ENTER]CONSTITUTION: [ENTER]INTELLIGENCE: [ENTER]LUCK: [ENTER]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ABILITIES~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[ENTER][ENTER][ENTER]
Yep.
It looks like one of those classic RPG character screens from a few years ago. I can recognize most of the options, such as strength, or intelligence, which are pretty self explanatory. Wisdom seems pretty ambiguous, but if this is an RPG system, maybe it controls mana regen? There’s also the two stats that seem to be the same, vitality and constitution. Most RPG games I’ve played either had one or the other, why both here? Oh well, I guess I’ll find out later. I also see an unknown stat, talent. Maybe this controls learning speed or natural ability or something.
I wonder about how I’m going to enter in the values, considering I have no hands, and am, in fact, just a ball of light. I try concentrating on one of the ‘[ENTER]’ options and, surprisingly, it changes into a “...” symbol.
Well then, since it’s giving me the choice, why the hell not.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~CHARACTER~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~NAME: CARVERGENDER: MALERACE: [ENTER]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~STATS~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~STRENGTH: 9,999AGILITY: 9,999VITALITY: 9,999WISDOM: 9,999TALENT: 9,999CHARISMA: 9,999CONSTITUTION: 9,999INTELLIGENCE: 9,999LUCK: 9,999~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ABILITIES~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~[ENTER][ENTER][ENTER]
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When I try to increase my stats to over 9,999, a wonky error sound blasts out. Oh well, I’m sure that’s still overpowered as all hell. Let’s see the rest. The race option is an incredibly long drop down option, as are the three ability options. I scroll all the way to the bottom of the ‘RACE’ list, seeing crazy options like ‘Undead Skeleton’, ‘Blood Dragon’, or ‘Drider’. Sitting at the very bottom, is the option I was looking for. I wasn’t sure if it would be available, but sure enough. There it was. ‘Lesser God’. Fuck it. I chose the option and turned my attention to the abilities.
An ungodly (heh) long list of abilities greets me when I select the ‘[ENTER]’ option. Fortunately, there’s a search bar. Hmm, well, since I was training to become a doctor, why not continue on that path?
I search up ‘Healing’ and the list shortens to a few thousand variants. Adding ‘Instant’ moves it down to a few hundred. Manageable, I suppose. After all, I have eternity in here as far as I know. Eventually, I find an ability called “Absolute Instant Healing”. I select it and move to the next one. Figuring I might need some sort of defensive ability, I search for awhile, and come up with “Ultimate Diamond Skin”. I’d imagine the whole 9,999 strength thing will be enough for offense, so lets find something for information. After some poking around, I end up with “Encyclopedia of All”.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~CHARACTER~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~NAME: CARVERGENDER: MALERACE: [ENTER]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~STATS~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~STRENGTH: 9,999AGILITY: 9,999VITALITY: 9,999WISDOM: 9,999TALENT: 9,999CHARISMA: 9,999CONSTITUTION: 9,999INTELLIGENCE: 9,999LUCK: 9,999~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ABILITIES~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ABSOLUTE INSTANT HEALINGULTIMATE DIAMOND SKINENCYCLOPEDIA OF ALL
Phew. Done.
I’m confident I made full use of whatever cheat the big guy (or girl) up there has decided to give me.
As soon as I think that, the character sheet vanishes and another progress screen appears.
ABILITY ASSIGNMENT COMPLETE
COMMENCING SEARCH FOR SUITABLE HOST
SEARCHING...
ERROR
ACCEPTABLE HOST NOT FOUND, POWER LEVEL TOO HIGH
COMMENCING MANUAL PHYSICAL MANIFESTATION
Does that mean I won’t be birthed...? Alrighty then.
The screen closes and another one pops up with a familiar looking blob of light and a host of options. Is this the body creation screen? For a few hours, I play around with a few options and manage to turn my light to a neon green and make a star shape. This... Will take awhile. Good thing there’s not much else to be doing around here.
---An undeterminate amount of time later---
I’m finished. How? No idea. I’m concerned at how I was able to maintain full concentration on this for so long. It felt like days, maybe weeks. Something to do with worldly distractions or something maybe, I might’ve heard something like that from a self proclaimed buddhist on the internet.
What I ended up with was a man somewhat similar to my old self. Of course, I couldn’t help but make myself devilishly handsome, but I kept the same general facial features. For those that don’t know (what?! Blashphemy!), I’ll describe what I look like.
On my new body, my skin is white, a little tanned, but not quite caramel, with a few freckles on my cheeks being pretty much the only mars on the near perfect skin. Medium-high cheekbones that don’t stick out too much, and a defined jawling leading down about 70 degrees to a squarish chin. My eyes are a deep purple, which I think is freaking awesome, don’t judge me. I have thick eyebrows that, when glaring, give a very menacing look. A sharp, somewhat flat nose leads down to wide lips housing perfect teeth. My ears lay flat against my head, uncovered by my medium length hair that leads back into a short ponytail. All in all, I stand about 7’4”, not including ponytail height. My muscles are defined, but not bulging, and other than my head, my body is completely hairless. I had a lot of leg hair in my past life, and let me tell you, is it ever annoying.
Nodding my non existent head in confirmation I mentally confirm my new “physical manifestation”. The screen disapears and a new one pops up once again.
PHYSICAL MANIFESTATION COMPLETE
COMENCING WORLD SELECTION ROLL
SELECTING...
WORLD 34AB3995FJ294L5 SELECTED
COMMENCING BODY CONSTRUCTION
BODY CONSTRUCTION COMPLETE
TRANSFERING SOUL IN...
3...
2...
1...
Here we go.