The Loose Knot called the tavern patrons 'Knottys' and served burgers named afterwards as well as nachos, whose cheeses went well with the huge variety of beers on tap.

Icey Ivan went into the Loose Knot and the place went quiet. He looked around for someone and saw lots of locals to the neighborhood.

"There is a huge bounty on this bird, anyone seen one like it? I will buy drinks for anyone who wants to talk" Icey Ivan said bluntly. He was holding a picture of a fabled creature, a cockatrice.

A chick in a transparent raincoat, who called herself Pet Peri and was well known to everyone there, suddenly came running in through the back, where many dogs were barking.

"I was nearly eaten by those dogs out there. Somebody should call the..." She stopped and realized she didn't want to suggest calling anyone. She was good. The prostitute went over and greeted Icey Ivan, her current favorite.

"Seen this thing? Maybe the dogcatcher has seen it?" Icey Ivan implored her.

"I guess I will call the dogcatcher then." Pet Peri declared.

"What is that?" Icey Ivan looked at the picture of the five-year-old little girl on the phone's wallpaper.

"Some guy's phone. Let me borrow it, said he would say he lost it and then later I could give it back. This way he can call me." Pet Peri winked.

"Cute kid." Icey Ivan agreed.

"Yeah, he said her named was like, Hester, or something like that." Pet Peri smirked weirdly. She then used the phone to try to call a dogcatcher. She was calling the humane society. They were closed, but someone had picked up the phone, someone working late.

"How many dogs?" The guy asked. He sounded like he was asking a question that was like a kid asking: 'you mean I get to cut my own piece of birthday cake?' or something of that nature.

"Lots of them. Behind The Loose Knot. If you come soon, I will buy you a drink and I am really cute." Pet Peri was winking, even though the guy couldn't see it. She was sorta ditzy.

"Yeah okay, I don't drink though."

"That is fine. It is on me anyway, I hate those dogs, they tried to eat me alive"

"Got it." The guy said. Then a woman in the bar that Pet Peri hadn't noticed, but recognized, walked over. She was Pet Peri's stepmother, in a way. Maria was tall and looked down on the hitman that worked for her boyfriend, Fat Freddy. She was also looking down on the outcast drug addled daughter of her dead husband, Thin Vinny.

"Nice to see you Peri."

"Hello Maria." Icey Ivan said to her, he had noted her earlier.

"Yes, hi Maria." Pet Peri said.

"I heard you talking to the dog catcher. Perhaps when that man gets here I can ask him about the bird he caught. Freddy is quite interested in it."

"What bird?" Icey Ivan sat up, alertly interested.

"Kimbra, the killer cassowary."

"Oh, that one. I thought you meant this one, my bird." Icey Ivan showed her the picture, torn from some book. It had the number one and six zeros to indicate an amount someone had promised Icey Ivan. Someone had a million in cash for this bird, apparently. Maria wanted to know who had a million in cash right now, as a single mom it sounded good.

"Can I offer you a ride, Peri? Larry is outside. Get you home, get you cleaned up." Maria sounded confidently charitable. It was all a lie.

Flashing blue and red lights appeared outside. It was a cop. Icey Ivan's car had gotten a cop to The Loose Knot. Icey Ivan got up to go see about it. It was his friend, Lieutenant McDonald.

"What is the news?" The cop asked.

"Nothing sofar." Icey Ivan stated.

"I am going to have to take you in, then. Gotta, this time." Lieutenant McDonald told the hitman. He was wanted on multiple counts of murder.

"Well, what about my car?" Icey Ivan asked.

"We are going to have it impounded." the other cop spoke up cheerfully.

"What about the courtesy call, to have someone come for it?"

"Courtesy call; my ass." the cheerful cop chimed oddly.

"Well this sucks." Icey Ivan decided, and let them arrest him without any problem. Fat Freddy had good lawyers, this wouldn't be a problem, he hoped.

"You have the right to remain silent." Lieutenant McDonald swore. The two cops put Icey Ivan in the squadcar next to a drunk guy.

"Who are you?" the drunk guy asked.

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"No talking." Lieutenant McDonald went.

"Mine's Ansari. Pleased to meet you. Goodbye." Ansari introduced himself very drunkenly. The cop stopped at the red light a little ways out of the gravel parking lot of The Loose Knot. The tow truck in the parking lot across the street just went across all the lanes to the tavern before the light changed. Some french lady was walking the cross walk with her groceries from the organic produce market kitty corner from where the copcar was.

"Are you coming to my Superbowl Party, Lieutenant?" she asked.

"I got my invitation, Babette. I will come with the wife and kids, they can all play together with Ardie and the rest." the cop was talking to the woman in the crosswalk from his open window.

"Alright." Babette agreed with a smile and kept going on her way. They drove past the burned down block under the powerlines, near the overgrown playground. Thankfully the guy, Nero the Arsonist, was in the Lunatic Motel. The second cop had to pull in there with his vehicle from following behind them. Something was called in, there. With that guy gone, the cop stopped and let Icey Ivan out. Len E was there in an SUV waiting to pick him up once the handcuffs were off.

"What about my car?"

"What about it?" Lieutenant McDonald shrugged.

"I just have to know, how do you get away with this?"

"It is complicated." Lieutenant McDonald smiled mysteriously.

"Alright, goodbye." Icey Ivan fist bumped the cop and rode away with Fat Freddy's man, Len E.

"Gotta lay low meant nothing, huh? Looking for some stupid bird?" Len E complained.

"I get that bird, it is payday for me, no more odd cash for burying dumbasses." Icey Ivan confessed.

"We will see what the boss thinks." Len E concluded his inquiry.

"He likes birds, I hear." Icey Ivan retorted mildly.

"Anyway, you can come help me move this thing that Maria bought for Freddy. Some big heavy mirror. That is the reason I wanted to come pick you up when I heard you were getting arrested. I called in a favor to get that other cop called off the tail."

"Useful. I will gladly give back to you, some team lift." Icey Ivan concurred.

"Let's get going then. You can forget about that weird bird going back to Old McDonald." Len E gave Icey Ivan a clue, although obviously true, somehow misleading. The mansion of Maria was next to the Meekson Mansion. They drove up to Maria's Mansion. There they unloaded the huge mirror from the crate and carried it up the stairs to the west wing where a drawing room awaited the mirror. Maria was so thankful that she told Icey Ivan that Edwine, a goth drug dealer that sold Unicorn to everyone, had information about the cockatrice that people were looking for. Edwine was at The Loose Knot earlier. Icey Ivan went back there but it was getting close to closing time and the hope that he would be there was slim.

"Don't get picked up again. I will wait out here." Len E told Icey Ivan.

"Are you looking for Edwine? He is looking for you. Ten dollars." Rap Felon, who was still at the bar, told Icey Ivan.

"No, just tell me and I will be grateful."

"Okay, okay. He went to go see a guy who is just call McDonald. Big guy with a beard. McDonald is looking for the bird also. He is somehow related to the cop and the rich old guy. All of them, McDonalds. There is a whole clan of them, it seems."

"Yes, so it seems. So long as I get my money." Icey Ivan cringed. He realized that Edwine going to see one of the people looking for the bird might mean he had missed his chance.

"You were not going to take the bird in for their reward, were you?" Rap Felon read Icey Ivan's poker face.

"Don't tell me you know about the million in cash."

"I didn't know until now. That means Kim Young. I know he has that money. I just know he does."

"You going to rob Kim Young? That money is for me. I will hunt you down, boy." Icey Ivan threatened Rap Felon.

"The two of you amateurs done pissing?" the voice of the Chilean assassin called Quetzalcoatlus came from the cracked door to the beer garden where he was smoking outside.

"Yes." Rap Felon glared.

"Didn't know you were there." Icey Ivan committed.

"Bar is closing, gentlemen." Itchy the Bartender told them.

They all walked outside and found the alleyway to be inviting and well lit.

They staggered along merrily and joshed each other, realizing a million in cash really did sound good. All they had to do was catch the cockatrice. And then they got out to where the chainlink fence separated the parking lot of gravel and light from the cliff overlooking a small neighborhood and the roads back down. It was called the Drunkman's Bluff but nobody ever said it, it seemed bad luck to mention the name of the place. They were laughing and then they looked up and saw it there, pecking like a chicken in the dark.

"It is there, pecking like a chicken in the dark" Icey Ivan said.

"I don't see it. I am going this way, gentlemen, good night." Itchy the Bartender told them.

"Be afraid, its gonna get you." Rap Felon promised.

"Are we ever leaving?" Len E asked impatiently. He stood there smoking a cigarette.

"That is it, isn't it?" Quetzalcoatlus stammered, then drew a gun in each hand, handguns.

"Don't shoot it, we need it alive." Icey Ivan protested.

Then it came out into the light and it was clear immediately that it was not a chicken. It was more rooster-shaped and larger than any rooster. It had a coxcomb and a dewlap and such terrible huge shining eyes. Its body was more reptilian and it gave off a horrible breath.

Len E breathed in some of its breath and started falling backwards, staggering and then he got to the car, barely conscious. He started drooling and had snot running and tears and he was coughing and sneezing and then he started to throw up.

"Its eyes are so terrible!" Quetzalcoatlus decided fatally. He stared deep into the eyes of the cockatrice and his own eyes burned into a white, blinded by the monster. He started shooting.

Bullets strafed along the ground at the feet of the cockatrice and it had to flap its membranous wings and retreat behind cover as the bullets came. Quetzalcoatlus then stopped shooting and reloaded his guns.

"Damn bird blinded me!"

Itchy had hid behind some cars and now screamed in pain and mortal fear. The cockatrice was upon him and clawed at him savagely.

He felt its spurs inject toxins. He started to convulse in toxic shock and then managed to crawl, twitching from the compound.

Icey Ivan bagged it from behind with a trashliner. He forced it into the trunk of his car and managed to close it in. Then he looked at his arm.

"Damn that bird bites hard." he said.

"Don't be dramatic." Quetzalcoatlus aimed his gun by sound, blinded by the cockatice.

"What are you doing?"

"I want the money." Quetzalcoatlus told him. He unloaded. The shots resounded and when they ended there were police sirens coming.

"You missed." Icey Ivan frowned.

"Alright. I can't. I can't do this shit." Quetzalcoatlus put the second gun to his head and shot himself, blowing his own brains out everywhere.

Then moments later the poisonous venom of the cockatrice stopped the heart of Icey Ivan and he fell over.

Len E got up and picked up the gun, still very messed up looking.

The cops were suddenly there.

"Don't shoot him!" Itchy, all intoxicated and twitching told the cops. He started having convulsive seizures and fell over.

"Put the gun down!" the cops commanded Len E.

Len E put the gun down.

One of the cops went over to the trunk of the car where there was thumping. She started to open the unlocked trunk.

"Don't." Len E begged pitifully.

But it was too late.