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Divine Smartass
Chapter 5: Humbled

Chapter 5: Humbled

It’s not like I spent the past couple of months just moping around. If you have access to magic, you use it.

Normally your magic capabilities increase through puberty, with all the emotional fluctuation it can awaken your skills. I, like most people, didn’t have an absurd awakening. But due to recent situations, I have had a double awakening.

I kept the other applicants from attacking, by using the minor skill I learned from Oscar, except heightened. I’m glad the room was so dirty, I was able to gather enough dust to create a thin dust cloud circulating my body and cutting anything coming within a short distance.

As for the two in front of me, I thought we could’ve just all passed. I didn’t think I’d have to use it, but apparently, no one here knows anything but how to blindly follow orders. Looks like a clear win.

Though, It was less of “If I’m going to pass the exam”, and more of “I wonder what company benefits I’ll get”

.

I can’t keep this dust up for long, but they won’t know that. I sit cross-legged on the floor and wait for the timer to run out. Let’s see if they’ll make a move.

Charles Menny, age: 19, mood: pissed

Who the hell does this guy think he is making me bleed?! I don’t understand, at entrance level, nothing should’ve been able to beat my fist. I could kill the blue girl to be able to pass, but where would my pride be if I settled for that? I must attempt it again.

I pull a miniature water bottle off my belt loop. I focus until I hear the buzzing, I screw off the cap and turn the bottle upside down, and focus all my power on spreading it. It dissipates into the air. Heh, you’re done now, you may have gotten me off guard earlier, but with this much moisture in the air…

I pull back my arm and start lunging at him, fool, sitting on the ground like I’m going to let this kind of chance pass. I extend my punch forward while forming a near two-foot spear-ended icicle from my fist. Slice slice slice. How. crumpling to the ground, neatly cut, the ice wasn’t able to even scratch him. What the hell did he just do?!

Remus Maron, age: 24, feeling: hungry

Ha! Get this, I was starting to tire out my skill, the dust was starting to slow, I was actually getting worried. Then, this blond dude over here turns his water bottle upside down, and the dust starts going even faster than before! I’m going to have to ask him after this where I can get myself one of those, without it, this could’ve been a lot harder.

Haha, well anyway, the blue lady already had backed off after getting hurt without even getting touched, my guess is she never had a good awakening. While Mr.Frost over here shoots this scary-looking icicle at my face; after I turned it into dust he looked pretty disappointed.

Overall, quite a fun experience.

The timer eventually ran out and started blaring. A moderator entered the room and evaluated the situation.

Remus Maron: PASS

Nancy Ludwik: Insufficient capabilities[FAIL]

Charles Menny: PASS

Ms. Green, a veteran agent, gives us the report of the test.

“Wait how did HE pass, he didn’t even do what we were told to do!”.

I don’t want to stereotype, I really don’t, but this blond guy here really is a dumb blond.

“Well Charles, you should really be asking why you passed”.

“It’s obvious why I passed! I’m the only one who was ready to kill when told!”.

The silence after he said that carried more tension than the four-minute of attempted murder.

“Charles dear, that’s why you nearly didn’t pass. We are letting you go through because your family benefits our company and we do not want to lose their support”.

They hand Charles and me a new penny. Charles takes it grudgingly. I’ll never get along with this guy, and I accept that. More important things are at hand than making friends at work. I am an agent at the MMP, and my new company coin gives me access to any subspace there is. I flip my coin and open an entrance to the closest MMP Field Office.

The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

I fell through the abyss. “Smile ok, just remember to smile”, I keep telling myself. Put on a mask, a new face.

I touch the ground of a wide lobby room. I look up with my fake smile, quiver. Tall black suit, inset eyes, stained collar. “Hello Newbie”.

Has he no shame? I hold my smile and squint back to him as to say “Fuck you”, very passivly.

“Have I seen you before?” he says.

“No.”

I walk off hitting my shoulder on his. My power is real, as is my anguish, but nothing rivals my trivial acts of mayhem.

I walk through and past the lobby to take a better look around. It’s set up similar to a hotel, but bigger, and many rooms instead of being filled with beds are filled with different types of equipment. More for creation than destruction, which seems uncommon for the military.

I stumble through the halls for a couple more minutes until I finally find it, the penny press. Slightly disappointing that I was right, but nonetheless it’s helpful. What do you think they are going to run around the country and grab all the 1943 pennies? No, they make them custom here, the real ones are rare to receive. All the pennies are pressed in this room, and custom line codes are written on their thin edge.

The room is like an engineer’s. Multiple tables set around the room with scattered papers and tools galore. The walls weren’t even attempted to be painted, with sheetrock exposed. This is where I need to be. I spot a box full of an assortment of tiny items that could prove to be useful.

Ten minutes pass by as I study the room, I know a lot more than I did previously. Hearing loud thumps, and clattering from a room down the hall I head out. Before going out the door I set down half of a burnt plastic dinosaur on one of the tables.

I arrive at the door where all the ruckus is appearing to be coming from. There’s a label on the door, “Training Facility”. I do need to integrate myself into this place, might as well have a bout with a fellow “colleague”. I can’t help but smirk. This is going to be fun.

I walk inside and the noise doesn’t cease, it actually seems to get louder. The gym-like room wasn’t huge in comparison to the other rooms, but it was a good deal bigger.

There were two benchpresses near the left corner, and some unorganized dumbbells all around it. There was a line of punching bags on the left, and on the far left there was just a huge metal rectangle covered with scratches. Straight ahead of me was a boxing ring, where all the action was.

In total there were four people in the room, two outside the ring, and two inside, pummeling on each other. It would appear to be a normal match… for a second. I knew people here had some sort of “power”, but I didn’t know they would stray so far from the cliche. The shorter one of the two kept his guard near his face and tried to duck into the middle in a long stride. His opponent, in neon green shorts, seemed to predict his move and jumped back. The next thing I knew, I didn’t know. He jumps back and puts his right arm onto the forearm of his left and tugs. It pulls clean off. He then goes on and starts swinging it around gaining momentum and throws it at his opponent like a shotput. The shorter man dodges.

You would think that would be the end of it, wouldn’t you? Apparently not, as superhumanly another arm grows back, gets ripped off, and tossed. Over and over, until the arm starts healing back slower, the shorter man realizes it and takes his chance to jump in yet again, and land a blow right on his chin sending him to the floor. I have no idea what sort of unearthly ability the shorter man has, but it cannot rival the idiocracy that nearly leaves my eyes teary.

I run to the two people standing outside of the ring.

“What the hell was that?” I yell at them.

“What do you mean? Oh, Ricky?”

I raise an eyebrow.

“The guy throwing arms”

“Oh yeah, Ricky has a unique skill. He even has a nickname for it”

A shout echoes loudly from the right of me.

“Lizard Limbs!”

I look to see a dazed, confused Ricky, standing very unsteadily.

“Lizard limbs, They just keep coming back, and I don’t know why!”

I reply to him.

“Sad, I would’ve liked to have been able to utilize my arms and legs as blunt throwing objects.”

The sarcasm is thick yet he can’t seem to see it.

“Oh, sorry it just sort of happens”

I nod and remain silent, this is not where I want to be now. I realize the thumping was the sound of the missed tosses and a pile of arms by the wall. He surprisingly is quite accurate with his name. Lizard limbs, no blood is present and he can just rip them off at will and grow them back.

“Well…”

I get under the rope and into the ring.

“I was hoping one of you could show me how you train here”

I want so badly to smack that man with his own arm. Make him rethink some life decisions.

Ricky, still unsteady but more aware replies,

“Sure, I mean, I’ll help”

I smirk yet again, the game is on Ricky. The game is on.

I apparently have to get on headgear to be safe. A thing for newbies, but recommended for all. I don’t think they realize that I can beat this guy just using dust. This is going to be a breeze.

Elbow pads, knee pads. I don’t see Ricky putting on anything surprisingly. I almost feel like I should warn him, or make sure to go easy on him. He already must be tired from the last fight. I want to show them that I’m capable but I still want them to like me.

Ok, all the preparations for the practice match are ready. Ricky and I get in the ring. One of the other men, I find out is called Antonio, is going to ref the match and make sure it’s a “clean fight”. I don’t think they accounted for throwing limbs or magic when they wrote the rules for boxing.

Well, I don’t think I need a unique skill for this one. We bump fists and go to our corners. As soon as it starts a limb flies at me.

I barely have the time to focus my magic to collect the dust. So instead I am forced to push the arm out of the way controlling the air. It went so fast I was barely able to change its trajectory. It passes by my face safely.

I look forward. Crap.

Two arms like helicopter blades fly at my face. Smack. Smack.

K.O. By overconfidence and underestimating the powers of lizard limbs.

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