"It's so hot." Lifting the water skin above her head, Cecilia splashed disappointingly warm water over her face and upper body. "I miss the Spine. Even the Bay would be nice right now. Trees... Lakes..."

"Hey!" Snatching their precious reserves from the beast-woman's grasp, Larry re-corked the skin and stared enviously at the canine warrior's wet fur before uncorking it again to mimic her actions. "It is hot."

"Hey!" A third pair of hands closed around the remnants of water they'd managed to save  so far, and the container disappeared behind Barry's back. "Don't waste the water!"

"Don't blame me for that," Cecilia said. "You did it first."

"That doesn't mean you two have to do it as well," Barry replied. Slumping back into the hollow they were using as shelter, he peered up around the boulder above and was nearly impaled on the steel tip of a crossbow bolt. "Damn those fancy elves. I bet they're real snug on that skimmer of theirs."

"How do they still have any bolts lefts?" Cecilia said, her voice settling into a low groan as the water began to evaporate. The trio had been halfway through a routine patrol when a gigantic pirate ship had rocketed over the horizon, hounding them into the rocky hills that Bastias and Manitas' fight had left behind. "They've been shooting at us all day."

"They're trying to pin us down," Larry replied. "They'll have to send some of their men up to get us, and they don't want us going anywhere until then... I'm more worried about the shields they had on that skimmer. We couldn't even make them flicker."

"Maybe they just found some really nice crystals on their last raid?" Barry's suggestion went unanswered, the trio silently contemplating the pirate ship they'd come across. "That could explain the shield, right?"

"Don't be ridiculous," Larry said, shaking his head. "It's an ostracism."

"You don't know that!" Cecilia replied. "They could just be rich!"

"It's an ostracism," Larry repeated. "A new captain, a new ship, and a bunch of elves who've never set foot outside their holy Milwood before. They're wasting ammunition because they don't know what it's like to be without, and the shields are impenetrable because they forest's blessing hasn't faded from them yet."

"Well, that's it then." Lifting her long-handled hammer, Cecilia began tying a sheet of white cloth to the handle. "I give up."

"Hey," Barry said. "Wait a second! We can't just give up and surrend-"

"I'm tired," Cecilia replied, waving the impromptu flag above the rock. "And hungry."

"Fine," Larry said. "We'll try to bargain with the elves. But first, put your shirt back on."

"It's hot." Seeing that the pirates had stopped firing their missiles, the canid woman peered over the boulder before rising to her feet.  Swinging her hammer around, she rested it over her shoulders in a pose that only served to fully expose her chest. "Get up. We won't fight, but we can't look like weaklings either."

"They aren't coming up the hill?" Holding his hand up to shield his eyes from the sun, Barry was relieved to see the elves on board had lowered their crossbows for the moment. The heavier bolts still wouldn't manage to penetrate the twins' magical shields, but the constant hail of steel would make retaliation difficult and eventually wear down their mana reserves. "Maybe they don't want to burn that precious pale skin of theirs?"

"I don't think this is an ostracism," Larry said, tilting his head to the side. "The crew look ragged. The ship is new, but if the crew are from here then the captain-"

"Who else could it be? Diana? It's not like she could just..." Barry fell silent as he contemplated his suggestion. "...it totally is her, isn't it?"

"Or course," Cecilia said, walking forward towards the elven craft. "Let's go."

"Of course," Larry repeated. She was getting better at timing their jokes, now. Glancing down at where the beast-woman's breasts bounced freely in the desert sun, he shook his head again. "Please put your top back on. Elves aren't exactly known for their acceptance of anybody else' culture, you know?"

"It'll be fine," Cecilia replied. "Nobody wears shirts back home anyway."

"We know that," Barry said, "that's not what... If Diana really is the captain of this ship, then-"

"Good afternoon," Diana said, appearing on deck as the trio approached from the side. Waving her hand, she lowered one of the craft's sail-like 'wings' to the sand, allowing the adventurers to enter the barrier and climb aboard. "I thought it might have been you two. The dog girl, too."

"It is the angry elf lady." Cecilia blinked in surprise, and the twins shot her a look of confusion. Smiling sheepishly, she shrugged her shoulders. "I didn't actually think it would be, I just wanted to say 'of course'."

"Of course," Barry replied with a sigh. "Of course you did."

"That's Captain angry elf lady to you," Diana said. Ignoring the crew, she led the group down into the hold. "Don't mind the others, they wouldn't do anything unsavoury to guests of mine."

"Guests, are we?" Holding in his retorts, Barry followed the elven woman down the stairs in the space below. "What have you done here, Diana?"

Stolen content alert: this content belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences.

"What have I done?" Diana asked. "Well, I ran into an ex-lover of mine recently and ended up with a splitting headache. I met up with Roethus after that, and-"

"Roethus?" Larry asked. "What does the Guild Master have to do with-"

"Ah," Roethus said, feathered collar swaying as he rose from his seat. The pirate ship's hold seemed bigger than it had any right to be, luxuriously furnished and well-lit thanks to the portholes spaced out on the side of the vessel. Even the temperature below deck was more comfortable than the already-adjusted atmosphere within the barrier. "You're here. Good, good, take a seat."

"I'm cold." Cecilia clutched at Barry's arm, pulling him back until she had her entire front pressed up against the warmth of his back. "Warm me up."

"Put your shirt back on." Diana clicked her fingers together to produce a flickering ball of flame. "Or I'll warm you up myself."

"Diana, please," Roethus said as the canid woman began to untie her makeshift flag with a grumble. "It's in her nature."

"I know that," the elf replied. "That doesn't mean I have to put up with it, though. I've had just about enough of those furred-"

"Okay!" Roethus said, clapping his hands together as the trio sat down on the couch opposite Diana and him. "First things first. Have any of you seen a half-elf anywhere around here?"

"A half-elf?" Barry shook his head. "Not since the city. Plume, was it? Haven't seen that one since the tournament. Not that we can be sure he was really half-elf, though. Aren't they supposed to be too rare to just appear on a ship in the middle in the plains? I thought all the half-elves in Manitas City just lied about their heritage to get through the gates."

"He the real deal, and we haven't seen him since then either," Diana replied, leaning forwards to lower her head into her hands. "We were right there! Goddamn it, I let Christoph kill Hare without so much as a blink!"

"Yes, well you can't fault yourself for that," Roethus said to her, offering the others some sort of chilled tea. "We'll just have to be extremely cautious of meeting Editor in person from now on. A hex that takes the intervention of a god to undo..."

"At least the other one's alive." The elven woman snatched Roethus' cup, downing the contents before leaning back against the couch. "The location spells might not be accurate right now, but there's a definite reaction to the northwest. Too bad we can't track the pirate like that."

"I'm not following this at all," Larry said, holding up his hand. "What exactly is going on right now?"

"That gaunt-looking bastard mindfucked me into forgetting the reason I was ostracized from the Milwood, that's what's going on." Diana tossed Roethus' now-empty cup on the rug behind her, staring over at the brothers as a young member of her crew rushed to pick it up. "I spent weeks wandering the continent for no reason before Bastias removed the damage he'd done."

"Liam and Ginger," Roethus said, gesturing for his cup back as he clarified the situation. "They're world travelers like Christoph and Saint Lucius of the Creator's Blessed. Their party, Editor, has already risen to Platinum and they are being considered for an Opal ranking by the Starthall council."

"So that's why you're here," Barry said with a grimace. The Opal rank denoted adventurers who rose to prominence with a focus outside of combat, magic or support. In other words, a highly unorthodox individual."Even the Exile might struggle to hold her own against two Opals at once."

"Don't be ridiculous," Diana replied. "It's a question of manpower, that's all. Liam's divine gift allows him to irreversibly modify the memories and emotions of his victims. He could start his own country if he wanted to. I'm taking control of the pirates, but the adventurers-"

"Need a Gemstone to follow," Larry said. Crossing his arms, he returned the elven woman's stare. "I trust that he won't be involved?"

"By he, you mean Medallion?" Diana laughed at the mage's concern. "Of course not. There isn't an adventurer around that doesn't know the downfall of the Jesters Smiling. Do you really think I'd even try to make you cooperate with the Jester Crying himself? Besides, I hear that he'd moved to the Knights Sanguine before going Amethyst."

"He did," Barry said. "From a Jester Smiling to the Jester Crying to Medallion of the Dragon's Boiling Blood, and now Amethyst Gemstone number one. He always did hate being the center of attention, didn't he?"

"Wait." Cecilia finished tugging her shirt down to cover her breasts, leaving her stomach bare to the cool indoor air. "You two are survivors from the Jesters Smiling?"

"That's right," Larry replied. "Amethyst Gemstones two and three, at your service."

"You won't be Amethyst for long if you agree." Roethus took a sip from his cup, ignoring the beast-woman's shocked blinks. The Amethyst rank was reserved for those who wished to avoid the fame that accompanied an ordinary Gemstone ranking. "We'll move you into the mages' Sapphire when you take the quest, of course. You also know what the subject looks like, so you won't mistake a full-blooded elf for him."

"Is there no-one else?" Larry asked. "No one at all?"

"That isn't what worries me," Barry said with a frown. "You haven't told us what's so special about this half-elf yet. Why should we care about him, or Editor, or any of this at all?"

"Because half-elves are too rare to be falling off pirate ships in the middle of the plains," Diana replied, leaning low across the table. "Not even Manitas has ever had one as a subject before."

"Manitas may be god of the plains," Larry said, "but he isn't any god of mine. I trust you will make the reward worth our trouble for all of this?"

"Of course," Roethus replied with a nod. "Anything within my power to grant. What do you want for this?"

...

"For this?" Jeremiah squinted at the two foreigners as they lifted the map. "Two gold coins."

"Two gold coins?" Christoph asked, glancing between the roll of parchment and the dwarven shopkeeper before him. "For a map?"

"Obtaining accurate measurements of the wyrm caves is no easy task," the shorter man replied. Turning towards the energetic looking beast-woman, he narrowed his eyes. "Don't touch that! It's worth more than both of you combined!"

"Eh..." Setting the ring back in its box, Emilia let the shopkeeper whisk the small display case away entirely. "It's a good ring, but I think Christoph would be worth more than that."

"Hmmph." Looking over the pair, Jeremiah shook his head. "You'd get five gold for him is you were lucky. Six, if the market was busy that day."

"The Christoph to map exchange is somewhere around three-to-one, then, " Christoph said with a humorless smile. "That's always good to know."

"Look," Jeremiah replied, looking up at the human adventurer. "Are you going to buy anything, or are you going to leave?"

"I think I'll buy," Christoph said. Picking up another three maps, he waved a pair in either hand. "How about a wager?"

"I don't bet with foreigners," Jeremiah replied. A mixed race couple? Were they from the Sanguine Empire across the desert? "They never end up coming back for some reason."

"Then you've nothing to lose with this," Christoph said with a grin. "I'll give you five gold for now, and if we manage to make it down to the dragon and back within a month you'll owe me another three maps."

"You intend to attack all four of the caves?" Reaching out, Jeremiah snatched at the handful of coins. If they were going to die anyway, he might as well take their money now. They certainly wouldn't be the first to leave for the dragon hoards and never return. "Good luck with that."

"Don't worry about it," Christoph replied with a smile. "Let's go, Emilia... We'll be coming back in a month or so."