Sister Katherine wore the same official nun garb as she did all those years ago. In fact, apart from some added wrinkles around the corners of her eyes, one would think she hadn’t aged a day since Avida first came to the orphanage. She appeared just as stunned as everyone else present as she gazed at her old pupil standing among the debris. Eyes drifting to the strange child by Avida’s side, she seemed to understand the situation at once.
Avida did not trust the nun’s sudden appearance in the least. Immediately, she was on her guard against the other woman. In her mind, she could only replay the circumstances that led to her departure from the Church. Rather than greeting her old mentor, she took a step back and shuffled Bambi behind her.
“What are you doing here?” she asked with a glare.
Sister Katherine had only faltered a moment before continuing up the path. She approached the edge of the rubble, several meters from the others, but was able to sense the hostility in Avida’s tone from kilometers away. Still, she appeared undeterred.
During this time, Bellicosa had also made her way over to Avida’s side. Despite not knowing what Sister Katherine looked like, from her partner’s story and current attitude towards her, it was not hard for her to guess the woman’s identity. Instead of answering, Sister Katherine smiled.
“I could ask you the same thing. How have you been? You look well,” the woman inquired calmly. She was talking so casually, as if they had just bumped into each other at the supermarket. Avida’s mood was not so amicable.
“If you have nothing worthwhile to say, then leave. We have business to attend to,” she replied harshly.
Any inkling of the playful accent she liked to put on while working had vanished. Her words were as cold and cutting as a blade, as though all the anger she had projected inwards was coming flooding out. Sister Katherine seemed immune to it, however.
“As much as I would love to be able to catch up with you, Maggie, you need to leave, now,” Sister Katherine warned sternly.
“You don’t have the right to call my name. Instead, you should call the names of all those innocent children you let suffer and die, and pray for their forgiveness,” Avida spat back spitefully.
“I’m serious,” Sister Katherine urged, addressing Bellicosa now as well, “I don’t know what business you have here, but get out of here while you can.”
“Are you threatening us? I can’t believe how much you’ve changed, sister. But you should know, I’ve changed a lot, too. I wouldn’t be so sure you could still beat me in a fight,” Avida snapped back.
“I don’t want to fight you!” Sister Katherine insisted.
“Avida, maybe we should-” Bellicosa started.
“No! Why are you listening to her? She’s a manipulative liar. She’s probably just saying that because she knows she can’t win,” Avida argued.
Sister Katherine had been desperately trying to get Avida to see reason, but it was clear she wouldn’t trust a word out of her mouth. Not that the sister could blame her. Still, hearing the way her former pupil, someone she considered family, thought about her, stung more than she would have liked. Against her better judgment, she rushed to defend herself.
“Do you think I live with a clear conscience? But what could I do? I am one person. I’m no match for the might of the Church of Solomon. In that situation, I was powerless!” Sister Katherine cried.
“No, I was the child, I was powerless. You were the adult. But instead of taking responsibility, now you want to act helpless. You had no problem ‘protecting’ me. So what was the problem? The other children weren’t worth protecting?” Avida’s words grew more and more venomous with each syllable.
“You were under my direct care. And even then, I had to beg and plead with Mother Gertrude. I had to go so far as to get special permission from the archbishop for you to be spared! He only agreed when I offered to train you to become a nun so that you would still remain an asset to the Church,” the other woman explained. “I couldn’t do that for every child!”
The nun’s words weren’t hard to understand. Even her actions made sense given the circumstances. In a way, her and Avida were similar. Avida had known about the experiments as well, but in all these years, has only managed to save a single child. That fact was what angered Avida the most. If Sister Katherine was a villain, then what did that make her? The only thing she was certain of at this moment was the pain she felt when she looked at the nun. Ultimately, she could only utter one question that reflected her true feelings.
“Then… why me? Why not someone else? Why did you have to save me?”
Bellicosa looked at her partner and saw the mist in her eyes, threatening to spill over. Despite the rage and the hatred that was burning in Avida’s heart, no emotion weighed heavier than guilt. It extinguished the flame of anger as quick as it had come, leaving an empty cavern that only echoed back ‘what-if’s. It was a dangerous spiral of self-loathing with no end in sight. This question that had been battering her conscience like a storm, had finally forced its way out.
The anchor of despair was heavy, and Avida had been struggling to stay afloat for a long time now. With each passing word, it was as if she were sinking deeper and deeper into the inky depths. Her eyes had become both unfocused and razor sharp at once, conflict raging within. Bellicosa saw this, as well, and grew increasingly worried that this encounter would lead to her partner’s self-destruction.
“I either saved you or saved no one. Would you rather I left you to end up like them?” Sister Katherine asked.
“Yes!...No… I don’t know…”
All the emotions Avida had previously kept bottled up were now threatening to boil over, and she didn’t know how to make sense of any of them. Her voice was shaking and her head felt light. Bellicosa didn’t know what to do either. Her partner’s spiral had already begun. Suddenly, Bambi let out a noise of alarm, and squeezed the hand she was holding tightly.
Avida felt like a bucket of cold water had been poured over her head with the action, so momentarily startled that her mind went blank. She had completely forgotten about the presence of the little girl. She turned to see two big eyes staring up at her, reflecting light into the dark waters of Avida’s subconscious.
“Whatever you think of me, that’s fine. But, Maggie, you’re a good person,” Sister Katherine said, as if sensing the other’s turmoil. “And you deserved to live.”
“There are no good people,” Avida laughed coldly, coming back to her senses. “And I am not more deserving than anyone else.”
Bellicosa sighed, “We’re all just people. Anyone is capable of either.”
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Avida didn’t know what to say to that. The tendrils of despair were not so easily escaped. However, Avida did all she could at the moment, and that was to grasp at any rays of light that permeated the rough waves that plagued her. Absently, she held on tighter to the little hand clasped in her own and replayed the reassuring words of her partner in her mind like a mantra.
Anyone is capable of either… That meant, that even if she was a bad person up until now, even if she did bad things to escape her guilt, that there was a chance she could be a good person in the future. It sounded so stupid and painfully obvious, but it was something she genuinely never thought of before. If she did enough good deeds, maybe the bad deeds would look so small they could ebb away with the tide. But that kind of thinking… to do good only to outweigh the bad… wasn’t it just selfish? Maybe she hadn’t learned anything at all.
“Then don’t worry about being a good person or a bad person. Think about your actions. How do you feel about saving that girl?” Sister Katherine asked, interrupting her thoughts.
“I think it was good,” Avida responded honestly.
“Then nothing else matters…” Sister Katherine said sadly, suddenly sounding regretful. “Now, you really need to leave.”
“What do you-”
Before Avida could finish, the group were surrounded by Church officials. There were too many of them to even count, coming seemingly out of nowhere. They must have arrived as backup, watching and waiting from the trees for the perfect moment to strike. Perhaps they wanted to use Sister Katherine to lull the mercenaries into a false sense of security. Once more, Avida could no longer hide her indignation.
“Are you serious!?” she screamed in fury.
“I tried to tell you! You’re not supposed to be here…” the nun reminded her.
The Church officials had various weapons pointed at them, but none of them made a move as of yet. Among them, one man stepped forward. He wore priests’ clothes, and seemed to be in charge. He looked eerily familiar to Avida, but she couldn’t quite place how she knew the man. At least, until he pulled out a cigarette and started smoking it as he spoke.
“Nice to see you again, Margaret,” he said lazily.
“Father Abrams,” Avida spat in disdain. “I should have known you would still be a lapdog of the Church. But I must say, it is surprising how you’ve managed to move up in the ranks. Back then, you seemed like a real good-for-nothing.”
Contrary to Sister Katherine, Father Abrams had changed significantly since Avida last saw him, despite the nun and him being about the same age. His hair had turned gray and he had dark circles under his eyes. He looked weary and slightly haggard compared to his youthful appearance before. A lot must have happened to him in a short time, though Avida couldn’t care less.
“It was all against my will, I assure you,” Father Abrams said tiredly. “It’s my own fault for being too capable, that the Church thought I showed leadership potential.”
Avida couldn’t help but scoff at that. Leave it to the Church of Solomon to describe laziness and apathy as ‘leadership potential’. Unlike his appearance and status, Father Abrams’ personality seemed to have stayed very much the same.
“So what do you want, then?” she asked. The man puffed out a cloud of smoke before answering.
“I don’t want anything. But what the Church wants, that should be obvious.” He pointed the tip of his cigarette at Bambi. “They want the little girl back.”
“Unfortunately, that’s impossible,” Bellicosa cut in, a vague threat underlying her words.
“I really don’t want to fight,” Father Abrams sighed. “Who would have thought that while hunting a whale, a couple more big fish would swim right into the net? It only makes more work for me.”
So they were tailing someone else? Who else would even have business at this pile of ash and rubble? Avida couldn’t believe it, Sister Katherine really had been trying to warn her. Just their luck, to run into momentous trouble coincidentally. Before she could think about it too hard, Father Abrams continued.
“They’re interested in the two of you as well, but if you hand over the girl, I can let you slip away like I never saw you. I have more important things I need to be taking care of.”
“Like I said,” Bellicosa reiterated, “Impossible.”
“Maggie, please,” Sister Katherine chimed in. “No one will think less of you!”
“Shut up! And stop calling me that,” Avida snapped at her before turning back to Father Abrams. “Answer me one question first.”
“Sure, what is it?” he replied indifferently.
“What happened to the orphanage and everyone in it? How did it burn down?”
“Oh? She didn’t mention it?” Father Abrams asked, surprised. “Your precious mentor set it ablaze. Unfortunately, no survivors. Oh, but perhaps I shouldn’t have told you that…”
Once again, Avida felt as though she had been thrown into the pits of despair. Every shred of the truth she learned just felt like weight piling up onto her shoulders. Would it really have been better if she had just stayed? How much of this could have been avoided?
“Why-…How could you!?” she screeched at the nun. This couldn’t be happening.
“Since I was the one responsible for your care, the Church gave me two choices. I could either hunt you down and kill you myself, or I could destroy all of the evidence of what transpired here so that it could never be traced back to them. Looking back, I don’t think they expected me to make the choice I did either, but they still honored my decision,” Sister Katherine explained without an ounce of regret, voice eerily calm.
“So you chose me over them again? Why? Is my life somehow more valuable than theirs?” Avida protested. Her vision blurred, and she felt the wetness sliding down her cheeks but ignored it.
“No… probably not. But yours is the one I care about the most,” Sister Katherine answered matter-of-factly. “I promised myself I would never hurt you.”
Before anyone could say or do anything else, Bellicosa hurriedly traced a rune in the air. She had been listening to the conversation, and couldn’t let it continue. Her partner didn’t need any more guilt over the actions of others. Smoke billowed out from her fingertips in a large cloud surrounding them. It was so thick that it obscured them from view, successfully hiding them from the ones surrounding them for the time being.
The smoke hardly affected the three of them at the center, but for anyone else it would be difficult to breathe. It was an escape they used many times in the past when they found themselves in sticky situations. Bellicosa had taken great care to perfect this very spell for that reason. Given that they were surrounded and they didn’t know how many enemies there were, and that talking was getting them nowhere, she thought a momentary retreat to be the best course of action.
“Don’t rush in recklessly!” Father Abrams commanded from outside the cloud.
“Over here,” Bellicosa said quietly.
Avida was dazed, but still turned and squinted through the smoke to see that her partner was squatting by the trapdoor from earlier. She had gotten it open and was urgently gesturing for them to follow, but Avida found that she was frozen in place, like her boots had been chained to the ground. Her feet only started to move once Bambi forcefully tugged her by the arm, dragging the mercenary along. Bellicosa brought up the rear and gently closed the door behind her as lightly as possible. The trapdoor had a built-in lock from the inside, which she hurriedly slid into place, hoping to buy time.
It would be a while for the smoke screen to dissipate, and with the strength of the lock it should take even more time to get the door open again. Hopefully, they could come up with a plan before then. But first, they moved deeper down the stairwell. Halfway down, Avida stumbled before leaning against the wall, still out of it.
“Hey, Avida, look at me,” Bellicosa urged softly, guiding her face with a gentle hand.
Avida finally glanced up to see two concerned faces full of worry staring back at her. The last thing she wanted was to be a burden, so she forced herself to straighten up and plaster on a weak smile. She clutched onto Bambi’s hand a little tighter as she did.
“Sorry. I think I would have rather faced a real demon after all,” she joked.
“What did I say about apologizing? And I think I would be more concerned if you weren’t emotional right now,” Bellicosa told her.
“Happy… you’re here…” Bambi added, her cracked voice coming out muffled.
“Me too,” Avida replied softly.
She smiled gently at the girl. Right, she couldn’t afford to be distracted. How was she supposed to take care of this girl and protect her if she kept letting herself be brought down by the ghosts of the past? It stung, but the what-ifs would always be what-ifs. The reality of the present is what mattered. And in the present, there was a little girl that needed her.
Avida had grown used to repressing her feelings. This was just another thing to file away for later. Belatedly, she felt a little embarrassed at how often she had lost control of her emotions in the past few days. After she collected herself, the group descended the rest of the way down the stairs.
Unlike the last lab, the staircase didn’t lead to another door. Instead, a long concrete corridor awaited them. It had dim yellow lighting and the walls were cracked, water dripping mysteriously from the ceiling. This place seemed to be a lot older than the one at the church. A few scattered metal doors lined the hallway, and at the end was a paneled wooden door which seemed out of place. The air was musty and everything likely hadn’t been touched in the years since Avida left.
She couldn’t help the shiver that went up her spine as she looked around. The fact that this lab had been under her feet for years and she never knew, the fact that many of her friends suffered and died in these very halls, the fact that she had done nothing to help them, all of it made her feel nauseous. Peeking to her side, Bambi didn’t look much better off, probably being reminded of her time in a similar facility.
“Well, maybe we could still find some clues,” Bellicosa suggested hopefully.
Suddenly, a loud thud was heard at the end of the hall from behind the wooden door. It was followed up by a groan, as if someone had fallen and was now in pain. The two mercenaries spared a glance at each other before moving wordlessly towards the noise. Bellicosa took the lead this time, with Bambi sandwiched in between them for safety.
As they swung open the wooden door, they were greeted with a messy office, and seated on the floor amongst the scattered papers, rubbing her head with a wince, was yet another familiar face.
“We have got to stop meeting like this, Miss Rhea,” Bellicosa said sarcastically, holding up the keycard ID that had been lent to them not long ago.
The researcher took one look at the trio, and cursed.