Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. Two pairs of feet moved with vigilance, weaving past strangers, small and tall, in their coats.

“Why are we walking so quickly!?” Buum asked through munching. “I got myself those shrimp-flavoured chips we saw the other day and these are really good I think I’ll buy-”

“Shut it and follow moron.” Boom chastised.

“It’s good chips though!” crunch crunch crunch.

Their feet brought them closer to an orifice on the mountain. Emerging from within, carts filled rocks with a slight shimmer and people painted in black, rough soot.

“Is that the mine?”

“What else would it be dumbass? The pizza store?”

“I don’t know. Why are we going to the mine?”

Boom came to a halt. “Why do you think?”

“Did...Biim need iron?”

“I’m getting out moron.”

“Right…right… Are you tired?”

“No! God why are you-” Boom paced in a circle, hands hysterical. He paused. “You being an idiot on purpose?”

“No?”

“Okay, you- hm- all you need to know is that I will make sure no one, I mean no one, messed with our guild, not that cat prick, not the bitch elf, and especially not Kalel.” Boom’s fingers curled in anger, holding them to Biim’s face.

“Ohhh right. I don’t really get it, but okay!” Buum threw a thumbs up.

“How do you- Ah! I’m planning an asphalt okay!? An asphalt! Don’t tell Biim until you finish, he’ll know what to do.” Boom walked away. Boom walked back. “And don’t you dare-” a sharp inhale. “And don’t you dare tell those losers why I left. Make shit up. Got it?”

“Umn- loud and clear! Asphalt?”

“Good. Now leave.”

Buum and Boom made their separate ways with confidence, confusion, and plans involving roads set in place.

***

“Buum..”

…

“Buum!”

“Huh? Wha-”

“Quit staring at us and get the old man out of here!” Clark yelled. “Go go yallah yallah!”

“One day you gon’ make me snap for real.” Jejj shook their head.

“Old man! I saw some ore over there! Let’s go!” Buum dragged the old man and himself to their feet, ushering him to the perimeter of the battle zone.

“Ooh okay! Sorry ‘bout that. I got a little too excited.” Mag chuckled.

“It happens!” Buum pet his shoulder. “I would have done the same! Oop watch out.”

ZWISH.

Buum jerked the miner back as materialised air shaped as a crescent brushed past them, striking the mountain and leaving its mark. A deep, deep mark.

Mag fell to the ground. “Ooh that was close!” he sat, hands keeping him up. “Good job adventurer sonny!”

“My arachnid senses kicked in after all.” Buum placed two fingers against his temple.

“Buum!” Clark parried the vulture, striking right after with no remorse. “Keep it moving! Shit’s hitting the fan and I need you keeping him safe.” Clark dashed toward the vulture.

“We don’t want him dead after all.” Zein said from a distance. Left. Right. Buum couldn’t spot him. Up…?

Zein soared through the sky, staff by Torell’s feet, and landed on the Vulture's throat, sliding down to the nape of its neck. He unleashed a barrage of slashes, hands moving with precision.

The vulture launched itself into the sky, twirling like a ballerina and making Zein dizzy as he clung to his flesh-lodged spear.

Stop.

Zein was flung higher into the sky as the vulture came to a halt. Bullets, missiles and fireballs pierced the clouds, surrounding them.

“Dash! Slash!”

In the blink of an eye, Zein caught the vulture's beak, clasping it shut. He retrieved his sword and began his assault. On its throat. On its eye. On its head. Crits flashed.

The vulture cried and descended, diving towards the ground.

“Hey, guys. Forewarning, I’m going to throw up.” Zein said, stomach churning.

“Want me to drop by with some meds!?” Clark asked.

“No!”

“Why not! I have access to the ‘em all!”

“You just want to come to my house!”

“Okay… So… When you gonna send me the addy so I can hop by with meds?”

“Shut up and help me with the bird!”

Now within sight, Clark ran to position himself under the bird, arms stretched out in front of him. “I gotcha baby just let go.”

“Oh my god just slow the vulture’s descent!”

“Oh. Okay.” a tinge of sadness in the guild leader’s voice.

Zein, one arm grabbing onto the vulture's neck, another attempting to unsling his bow and quiver. With a struggle, he tossed his weapons to Clark who caught both items with one hand. He set his sword down and aimed.

“Steady… Steady… Steady….” Clark mumbled. “Bang!”

Clark let loose, striking the vulture's wing. With a twist, the vulture flattens itself- metres from the ground and straight at a club-wielding elf.

“Batter up! Smash!” Jejj raised their club like a baseball bat, letting it make circles in the air.

“Oh no no no no.” Zein let go of his sword, sliding like a curling stone across the terribly uneven ground, tail dirtying. Inches away-

“Boom!”

Jejj swung with all their might at the vulture, striking its beak. Crack. The bird bellowed, taking to the skies once more and unleashing wind cutters at all bystanders.

“Nice hit, cutie!” Skada commented.

“Yessir, someone ain’t like that too much though.” Jejj glanced at Biim barely dodging the bird’s attacks with annoyance

“He’s just a lil’ baby, it’s alright.” Skada snickered.

“Alright for you! That bird has gone nuts!” Biim pointed his wand at Jejj. “You just had to piss him off didn’t you.”

“Imma smack the shit out of you and yo’ bald daddy one day I swear to god it’s gonna happen.” Jejj approached the stick-figured man.

“Stooooop fiiiiiighting!” Clark interfered.

“...”

“...”

“Hello dadd-”

“Don’t.”

“Aight.”

The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

Weapons still firmly in place on the vulture, Zein brought himself to his feet. “You guys got any idea as to how I'm going to get my weapons back?”

“M-maybe bind?” Torell suggested.

“That’d be a good idea, but it has too much health. Bind only works if you overpower the thing you want to.” Zein replied.

“O-oh okay. Sorry.” Torrell dropped his head. Wu patted the orc's head.

“That’s okay! The ability doesn’t really mention it, but you figure it out once you use it a couple of times.” Zein cheered the orc up.

“Just need to get you back up there then.” Jejj chimed in.

“I might really throw up if I go up there again.” Zein motioned to his mouth.

“Oh? Chicken?” Jejj crossed their arms.

“...Alright. Fine. Torell, could you hand me your staff for a second?” Zein asked, stretching himself. “Wu, buff me.”

“Oogie!” Wu saluted. “Oogie oogie.” A light yellow glow formed around Zein.

“Um, o-okay?” Torell handed his staff over. Standing at the cat's height, Zein spun the staff around himself and stomped it, eyes studying the vulture as its focus shifted to the gunman and amateur archer.

"Learn Skill: Magic Missile."

Zein brought his axe out, kissed the shaft, held it to his forehead and swiped away, eyes focused. He jumped, starting with short hops and into larger, heavier jumps. He aimed the staff at the ground and leapt.

“Magic Missile. Dash.”

The missile blasted the ground fuelling his dash jump. Zein welcomed the blue canvas above.

Biim stared. “...what…”

Zein, within striking distance, slashed at the unaware vulture's spine, stunning it into screeching. He held on to his spear located at the bottom of the bird's body. He swung himself like a gymnast and landed on his spear. Using it like a launchpad, he leapt towards his sword, slitting its throat as he retrieved it. He bit down on the sword's hand as he ripped the skin off the bird's back with his axe. Zein brought his knees to his chest and struck down at the butt of the spear, unlodging it and clutching it with his free hand.

“Physics engine be nuts man.” Jejj watched, mouth agape.

“I just don’t know what I am watching.” Biim watched, mouth agape.

“Wow…” Torell watched, mouth agape.

“That’s my Zeizei!” Clark pumped his sword in the air.

“Guys! Anyone want to help!” Zein asked in free fall.

“Oogie!” Wu jumped on Torrell’s shoulder.

While Zein embraced Aria’s gravity, the vulture chased after, jaw unhinged and ready to feast.

“A-ah! The vulture!” Torell squeaked.

Skada aimed her weapons at the vulture, unleashing a flurry of bullets in an attempt to attract its attention.

“Come on big guy lookie here!”

It worked. The vulture changed course, darting towards Skada.

“Parry!”

Clang. Clark deflected the vulture’s claws and slashed, getting in multiple hits. “Eyes on me birdie, don’t look anywhere else.” Squawk squawk. The vulture pecked at Clark as he guided the bird away.

“Was I… forgotten about?”

Crash!...

Zein. 10 health.

“Close call Zoro.” Jejj squatted next to Zein who faced Aria’s soil. He rolled over. “Thanks.” he said through exhausted breaths. “Is that the guy from the movie with the cool Spanish guy? You know? Wears and mask and that cowboy hat.”

“Do you two do this on purpose?” Jejj smacked Zein’s head.

“Heal!” Torell called, healing the wound-ridden cat back to full. He alternated between spells and the last of his potions.

“I-I’m out of potions!”

“Do you have your mana potions?”

“Yes. O-only two.”

“Is that right?” Zein grabbed Jejj’s shoulder, pulling himself up. “Well, take one now and let yourself recover, thank you for the heals! I’ll take over for now.”

“O-of course!” Torell bowed. He moved to the edge of the field's barrier with Wu, allowing himself to recuperate as the rest continued the fight.

“Hey guys! Hope you didn’t forget about me ‘cause I don’t think I can solo this any longer!” Clark whinged as he battled the vulture alone.

“Some guild leader you are.” Biim scoffed. “Anodos would’ve solo’d it so easily.”

“Well if you like him so much why don’t you marry him!” Clark yelled.

“Are you a child!?” Biim yelled back.

“Aw, you guys are bonding!” Skada held her hands to her cheek.

“Bonding!” Buum clapped with his knife and palm, parrying a wind cutter aimed at Mag.

“We are not!” Clark and Biim synchronised.

“Anodos you got competition for yo’ man dawg.” Jejj nudged him.

“He can have him.” Zein smirked.

“Zeizei!” Clark cried.

“Enough! Let’s just finish this.” Biim put an end to the conversation.

For the next 40 minutes, Zein decided to stay grounded, playing defence by parrying for Skada and covering healing for Torell as the orc returned to hurling fireballs. The vulture bled. The vulture burned. The vulture endured multiple blunt-force injuries. Stamina ticking down. Wind cutters getting more haphazard. Dives switching on moment's notice. Screeching out of fear. Screeching to fear.

“Bird down! Bird down!” Clark called. “Almost!”

“Just say it’s almost down then! Why must you make it so complicated.” Biim chided.

“Always with the complaining! Shut up and bind it. Parry.” Clark redirected the bird in Biim’s direction.

“Keep ordering me around.” Biim mumbled. “Bind!”

Blue strings crept out of Buum's wand and made their way towards the bird who violently clashed with Clark and Jejj. One string wrapped around its claws, another around its thighs, another around its abdomen, another around its wings, another around its neck, another around its beak, and another around its eyes, bringing the bird to the floor.

“Bird almost made my club a damn bat.” Jejj brushed their weapon.

“We can just get you a new one.” Zein replied.

“We including me!” Skada said with a cheer in her step.

“Maybe just you two then.” Zein peeked at Skada.

“See now you’re getting cute again!” Skada smacked Zein’s back. Repeatedly.

“Ah-mm-yes.” Jejj said, faking a cough.

“JUST HIT THE DAMN BIRD.” Biim screamed.

Everyone piled on the attack, including Buum. Slashing, stabbing, smashing, puncturing and anything else which could make the bird's life more miserable. In a fit of rage, the vulture freed itself from its restraints, lacerating itself. Its eyes bled red as it flew close to

the ground, heading straight for Torell.

Fear in Biim’s eyes. “Torrell!”

Fear in Wu’s eyes. “Oogie!”

The vulture opened its mouth wide enveloping more and more of Torell's sight. Wu closed his eyes. Torell did not.

“F-fireball.”

Fire erupted from Torell's staff, shooting straight into the bird's oesophagus, bulging it and making its skin turn red. Larger and larger it grew. Pop! Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding Ding. Ding. 16 yellow gems. 32 great blue vulture claws. 32 great blue vulture feathers. Two great blue vulture eyeballs.

Wu hopped from Torell's shoulder and ran to pick up the items.“Oogie!”

“Ooh you guys did it! You guys took down the ruler of Aria’s mountain!” Mag ran over to the group. “And I got a lot of iron out of it!”

“Glad…” huff huff. “I…” huff huff. “Need a sec…” huff huff. “I haven’t exerted this much in a month.” Clark laid down.

“What the hell have you been up to?” Zein knelt beside Clark.

Clark sat up, resting his chest on his knees. “A lot…” huff huff. “Paperwork and…” huff huff. “Talking. I haven’t done much raiding.”

“Wow. That seems unfortunate.” Zein pinched Clark’s nose.

Zein helped the hunched-over Clark, guiding him to the rest of the group as Jejj followed behind. Biim, hands on his knees, spotted Buum signalling to him. Rolling his eyes, he jogged over to the rogue.

“What?”

“Uh, Boom wanted me to tell you something.” Buum looked around. “Come here.”

Jejj, watching it unfold, felt a pit in their stomach. They watched his eyes squint as Buum leaned in, whispering. They watched his eyes grow wide, darting around. They watched Biim pull Buum in, spinning him around as their bodies shook. They watched them both turn back around standing upright.

Jejj motioned to Skada. “Think the idiots planning something.”

“Aren’t they always?” Skada remarked.

“Yee, but, this be feeling something.” Jejj scratched their chin.

“Hmm…” Skada scratched her chin. “Let’s see how this plays out.” she stopped. “Should we tell Zein?”

“Naw. Feels sketch but don’t wanna bother him.” Jejj folded their arm.

“Okay! Let’s distribute everything.” Skada wrapped her arm around Jejj’s.

Gathering around a mountain of jewels and items, Wu sat atop it waving feathers around in the direction of Biim and Buum. With a cough and a pinch, they made their way to the party.

“Would you guys mind if I took 5 each? I’ll sacrifice a yellow gem for it.” Zein asked, storing all his weapons apart from his spear.

“You want all of mine?” Clark offered.

“No.”

“Last chance, last chance!”

“...”

“Going once! Going twice!”

“Fine. I’ll take ‘em…Thank you.”

“Yippee!”

“Aw, how adorable.” Skada giggled. “Jejj you want some of mine?”

“Naw I’m good. Ain’t you an armourer or something? Don’t you need this stuff?” Jejj asked, wondering.

“I do but you’re just so cute so I decided to ask!”

“Oh uhu-mm-haha-still good.” Jejj tried to hide their face.

Biim and Buum collected their winnings in silence, understanding they had no stake in the matter. Before they could collect Boom's-

“Up, up, up! Don’t ya dare touch anything more than what’s yours.” Clark put a foot on the item the Kidds reached for. “Your boy left, so it’s ours.”

Biim bit his lip as Buum withdrew his hand. “Fine.” Biim complied. Clark released his foot.

“Who wants the gems!”

“Meeee!”

“Catch!”

Clark tossed 2 yellow gems to Skada, bringing her total to 4.

“Who wants the claws!”

“Meeee!”

“Catch!”

Clark tossed 4 claws at Skada, bringing her total to 8.

“Who wants the feathers!”

“Meeee!”

“Catch!”

Clark tossed 4 feathers at Skada, bringing her total to 8.

“Wow! What a big haul!” Skada held her haul to them. “Thanks, guys! You’re all so sweet.” she tossed them into her inventory.

“Anytime.” Zein chuckled. He scanned the group. “Torell, you want an eye?”

“M-me!? N-no it’s alright.” Torell waved his arms, eyes closed.

“Come on, just take it! You finished it after all. You deserve one.” Zein tossed it to him.

“U-um alright.” Torell juggled the eye. “Thank you!” he bowed.

“Do you know how to use it?”

“Alchemy… right?”

Zein nodded his head, moving on to the last eye.

“Does anyone else want it?”

“I’ve taken one of ‘em already.” Skada refused!

“Naw, I’m good.” Jejj refused.

“No!” Zein refused.

“Then it’s mine! All mine!” Zein stored it in his inventory, along with his weapons,

gems, and items.

“Here’s all your metal good adventurers!” Mag dropped 40 iron ore pieces and 24 high-grade iron ore

pieces.

“You both can take his share of the metal. But, if he pulls that shit again, I’ll take him out myself. Got it?” Clark glared at Biim.

“Yeah.” Biim said monotonous.

“Good boy!” Clark smiled.

Everyone took their share of the metal as Mag shook everyone's hand with vigorous energy and waved goodbye, heading back down the mountain.

“Aight, Imma bounce. Seeya outside.” Jejj headed for the portal.

“Wait! What about the gems from-” Torell sifted through his bag.

Ding! Jejj has left Aria Mountain Ranges.

“The gems?” Zein thought for a second. “Let’s distribute it no-”

Ding. A blue chat screen appeared in front of everyone with an elf’s face on it.

“You guys ain’t gon’ believe what’s out here. This shit too funny.” a laugh was heard.

“Jejj?” Skada squinted, brows furled. “You alright cutie?”

“Oh yea. Need all of you here for this though.”

“Let’s go.” Zein gestured to leave.

One by one they entered the white portal.

First to appear was Zein. “Ohhh. I see what you mean.”

Second was Skada. “Ooh are they here to admire us? Hello!”

Third was Clark. “Hah! This is gonna be so good. Thank you so much you stupid moron.”

Fourth was Torell with Wu. “Wh-what’s going on? Did we do something?”

Fifth was Biim. “...”

Sixth was Buum. “That’s what he meant by asphalt…”

In front of the party of 7, 30 adventurers, ranging from level 25 to 30, encircled them with a little SKG badge hovering next to all their nameplates. Boom took centre stage.

“Well. Well. Well. If it ain’t the losers.” Boom grinned.

Biim watched in horror. “Ah… Shit.”