“Look, look, it's him.”

“Who? Where?”

“The one I told you earlier, I can't believe he dares to walk around so nonchalantly.”

As I walk through the corridor to my classroom, the whispers follow me as usual.

“They say he poisoned his parents to get the insurance money.”

“Poison? I think I heard in the news that it was a traffic accident?”

“Idiot, how can there be such a thing when every vehicle has autodrive nowadays?”

A third person joined the conversation. “It was a traffic accident, but the autodrive was turned off, maybe he drugged his father so he would go mad and turn it off?”

I walk faster to leave them behind. I hate them. I loathe them. Talking whatever they want without knowledge. Gossiping and coming up with stuff as they please, without caring for other people's situation or feelings. I sincerely wish that something like this happens to them so they know what it feels like.

So, a truck driver is running out of time to make a delivery and decides to turn off the autodrive on his vehicle so he can actually exceed speed limits to get to the base in time, but things don't go well and during a very risky overtaking he collided frontally with my family's car.

Our car had autodrive too, but my father turned it off when he saw the truck coming. Why? Because in such a scenario, the autodrive determines which of the available maneuvers has the chance to save most people. It was one of those moments of full mental clarity. My parents looked each other in the eyes, my mother nodded, and my father turned off the system. Both of them knew that if the car kept driving itself it would do a violent turn to save my parents, but I would die. It took them just an instant to make their choice.

My parents chose to die in order to save me, and these damned retards go around saying whatever they please. They are taking off from my parents' sacrifice and turning it into something sordid. They bully the victim, turning it into the criminal for their own twisted pleasure, for the sake of their sense of self-righteousness.

Yes, my parents had quite a bit of savings, but I didn't know about it until I was discharged from hospital, more than a week after the accident. My uncle from my mother's side, the only relative I had left, came to look after me, but I understood soon enough why my mother didn't introduce me to him in all my life.

My family's lawyer came to see me at school urgently. Apparently my uncle was moving papers and bribing people to have me locked down in a madhouse and get all the money for himself. Fortunately, the advice came in time, so I could emancipate, become my own legal guardian and taking away from him any authority he might have had over me or my parents' money.

In the end, everything settled down without too much trouble for me, or at least that's what I thought. Even though my legal issues had been solved, I still had to face society. Those who didn't know the whole story started gossiping, and the true story was buried under a mountain of hearsay and lies. A visit from a lawyer and the news that I had had a legal confrontation with my uncle for my family's money only fueled their imagination.

People at school started calling me murderer and anything they could come up with. At first I tried ignoring them. I tried to convince me that as long as I knew the truth, it wouldn't matter what others thought. My friends fell to the social pressure and abandoned me, joining those who abused me.

The turning point came one day when one of the wannabe delinquents of the school came to my class one day during recess. He kicked my desk and ordered me to go buy him lunch.

“And the money?” I was in such a state of mind that I thought that I would be okay as long as I did what I was told.

He kicked my table again. “You pay for it, of course! You got a load of cash from killing your family, right? From now on you're my wallet, get ready to buy anything I tell you when give the order, or else!” He was screaming right into my face.

“No.” I answered without thinking. My parents gave up on many things so I could have that money in case something happened to them, I wasn't going to let this idiot have it.

He punched me in the face so hard that I fell to the floor, with my chair included, and the next instant he was on top of me turning me around and grabbing my wallet. After searching through it, he took the money I had in it and said, “What a let down, I hoped you were carrying more. Tomorrow I want double of this, or you'll get triple of what you just got!”

“Give it back.” I stood up weakly and tried to reach for my wallet, but he punched me again. I could do nothing, as I was still a little stunned from his surprise attack.

He laughed.

“Give it back.” I said, standing up again, but I was punched again. This time I could see it coming, so I only stumbled backwards a little.

“Give it back!!” I screamed at the top of my lungs, and kicked the fallen chair towards him. He stumbled, falling to one knee with a curse. Without thinking, I grabbed his hair and smashed his face twice against the nearest desk.

My left eye was swollen closed, my nose was bleeding and my lips were broken, but even with that I smiled at him the creepiest way I could, showing my teeth stained with blood, and told him, “You insulted, threatened, beat and even stole from the murderer. Do you want to die that badly?”

I could notice he went pale even though he was covering the lower half of his face with a hand. Blood dripped between his fingers so I think I broke his nose. The crumpled bills in his free hand fell to the floor and he ran away without a word.

When a teacher came and saw me, I was sent to the infirmary and then I was ordered to go home right after I got treated. It didn't matter that I was attacked first, it didn't matter that there were around twenty witnesses who could have testified that I had been attacked and had my money taken away from me. In the end, I was expelled for a whole month. “And be glad that we don't expel you for good, kid.” Said the principal.

During that time, since the rumors started until I got expelled, Loraine, the school nurse, was my only support. When I told her what had really happened the day of the accident, she actually listened to me and she held me when I started crying. It may seem stupid, but I felt really better crying my eyes out in the arms of someone who actually believed me and didn't judge me.

"Don't be afraid to cry, today's tears are the seeds for a blooming happiness tomorrow." She used to say, and with her help it wasn't long before I stopped feeling the need to cry and started to look forward to my future.

I started having lunch with her everyday to escape from my classmates, though that became just an excuse. Between classmates that hated me and going back to an empty home, the time I spent with her became something precious for me, not only for my sanity's sake. I think I even fell in love with her.

She liked playing games at least as much as I do, and having such a common ground for talking made our relationship closer. Hours flew by while chatting about games we both had played, comparing our experiences, or describing games that one of us had played but the other didn't, and that's how she introduced me to Afterdark Online.

She told me about how fun it was, the freedom it had just from the very beginning. The character creation had a lot of choices and allowed for really unique characters as well as the most typical ones. She told me that her character was of the Trasgo race. (another thing I liked about this game was that the playable races weren't your typical humans, elves and dwarves) Apparently, Trasgos where a failed attempt at improving humans with dragon blood, resulting in tall semi-humans with muscular builds, tails, horns and natural armor on several parts of their bodies.

Following the habits of the other players, Loraine had named her class as a “Monk-type Fighter.” She told me that she had combined an offensive stance with mail armor, fist weapons and sacred magic. She told me that given the passive boost to defense of her chosen race, she didn't need to wear heavier armor and instead she was spending points in increasing evasion in her armor skill tree.

When I asked her about her left arm she smiled playfully and said, “A bell to fortify my healing didn't look cool with the fist weapons, or any other magical accessory,for that matter, so in the end I chose throwing axes because I had to choose something.”

She invited me to play with her many times, but I was hesitant to spend my parents' money on such a thing. The day I was attacked in the classroom she finally convinced me. “Do you think I play just for fun? One of my colleagues harasses me sexually, and I've found traces of a possible stalker in front of my house. All of us need a way to escape from reality, even if just a little while, for our sanity's sake.”

Even though I had already made the decision, I answered, “I'll think about it, but I'm not sure if playing all alone will be all that much fun, can I have your character's name to contact you in case I start playing?”

After thinking about it for a moment, she answered, “You have my race and my skillset, so let's make a bet.” After looking around to make sure we were alone, she came closer to me, she lifted a finger and said in a low voice while giving me a wink, “Tonight they release a new expansion that includes a marriage system, if you're able to find me, I'll marry you in-game.”

She turned around to return to her office, leaving me speechless. I was in cloud nine while I walked towards the principal's office, all the pains and bad feelings of the day forgotten.

That's the last time I saw her. A few days before the end of my suspension, I saw in the news that a female teacher had been found dead at her own home, stabbed repeatedly in the chest and abdomen. Apparently she didn't feel a thing because she was connected playing a full-dive game. I called the school secretary and my worst fears were confirmed. Right after that I called the police and told them everything I knew about her case: the sexual harassment from a coworker and the cigarette butts in front of her house that proved that someone had been there watching her.

They thanked me for the information and asked me for my name and address, to reward me in case that my clues led to a detention. I asked to remain anonymous.

If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

Then I called to check once again the state of my order.

While thinking about these dark things, I arrived at my class and walked up to my desk, finding it covered of deep scratches and written insults and threats like “Die! Murderer!” Or the most imaginative up to now: “Commit suicide by swallowing a frozen mortadella bar!” That one actually made me chuckle.

“Yo, murderer! Back from detention already? We haven't missed you the least bit!”

I hate this guy. Stan Forrest is your typical quarterback douche. He's popular, he has good looks and comes from a well-off family, what makes him think that he's the greatest thing in history. He gasps theatrically and says, “Oh, what happened to your desk? Even the screen is scratched useless.”

I put my hands in my pockets and ask him, “Do you know who did this?”

He comes a few steps closer, leaning to me and playing to be a thug. “Who do you think, idiot? The whole class took part on this masterpiece! We've been happy during your expulsion, so we want you gone for good. Leave here right this instant! Crawl into a hole, rot and die!”

Before I can answer in any way, a girl by the door announces, “The teacher!”

Everyone in the class move to their seats and don't make a noise, leaving me the only one standing when the teacher enters the class.

“Good morning kids. Spencer, why are you still standing..? What the hell happened there!” The teacher comes to my side with a vein popping in his forehead. “What have you done? Do you know how expensive these things are? You just came from a temporary expulsion, are you looking for a definitive one?”

I sigh and answer calmly, “Why would I do this to my own desk? Why would I destroy it this way and write insults to myself?”

The teacher looks puzzled. Obviously it makes no sense, but then Stan lifts his hand and proclaims, “Mister Ramstein, we all saw him do it! He said that he was going to blame it on us to get us all in trouble!” When the teacher turns his back to him, Stan looks at me with a smug face.

Many people doubted for a second, but then they started nodding their heads and adding their own shit to the story. When the teacher was about to start screaming at me, I take out my right hand from my pocket and I touch the play button on the personal recorder app I have installed in my I-Ring.

“...The whole class took part on this masterpiece! We've been happy during your expulsion, so we want you gone for good. Leave here right this instant! Crawl...” Stan's voice sounds loud and clear. Us loners must have our means of self defense, or it can happen like the last time I was expelled even I just defended myself.

The teacher looks troubled. He looks to the class and me in turns, and finally he decides, “I'm going to convene an emergency meeting with the rest of the faculty during the next recess. Spencer, you go wait in the infirmary to avoid further trouble; in any case you can't take your lessons with your desk in such a state.”

I turn my back to them and leave without saying a word. As I walk through the empty hallways, with the muffled sounds of the classes in session, my spirits lift a little while I walk to the infirmary... until I arrive and remember that it's empty.

It's empty, and the next person to take this office won't be her, because she can't be with me anymore. It's strange; how the idea didn't really sink into me while I was at home. It has taken me to come here, to a place where I always found her, to finally realize all this. I stumble to her chair and sit down.

And I crumbled like I didn't do since my parents' death.

I don't know how long I sat crying in silence in the dark infirmary, remembering the time I spent there. I mourned Loraine's loss, and the loss of the smallest semblance of happiness I had felt since I found myself alone in this world. At that moment I also considered that maybe I had been leaning on her too much for the sake of my own happiness.

I heard a familiar beep and turned look at the light coming from my right middle finger. I checked my I-Ring, displaying a holographic screen, and I found a new mail.

From: Hyper Dimension Ltd.

To: Mr./Ms. Spencer.

Topic: Order 00004 -LV-426

Dear Mr./Ms. Spencer, your order for an Afterdark Online starter set, Which comprises the game in physical edition and a customized, second generation Dive Gear has arrived at your home today 17/03/401, at 10:47 A.M.

Unfortunately, there was nobody home to check the package, so it has been sent to the nearest post office, where you can go retrieve it at your earliest convenience.

Please present this message and your personal ID for verification purposes when you go to your post office.

P.S: As a token of apology for our delay in serving you this order, we have included a “Golden Season Pass” for no additional cost. Now, when you install the game you will have free access to all the available expansions, as well as the next three (3) expansions when they become available.

I used the cuff of my shirt to dry my face. If I can't find happiness in this world, at least I can try to escape into the world that made her smile so brightly. I write a half-assed apology to my teacher, telling him I don't feel well and I'm going home.

Of course, I don't go straight home; I go to the post office first. With the package under my arm, I walk (almost run) to my house. On the way, my I-Ring beeps again, and I read the new message.

From: Wilkins Secondary Education Institute, Vincent Palmieri, Principal.

To: Edward Spencer, class 11-B, seat 22

Topic: urgent disciplinary meeting, 17/03/401

Mr. Spencer.

Regarding the incident this morning where your computerized desk has been mistreated to the point where it needs serious repairs, and taking into account the irrefutable proof you presented, we have decided that you have no fault in this matter. Your classmates will be fined for the cost of repairs and will be punished with two months undertaking cleaning and maintenance labors around the school facilities after school schedule.

However, taking into account that the number of incidents where you found yourself involved not only have increased in number, but also escalated in severity, we find ourselves in the unpleasant necessity to take measures.

We know that you are the victim in most cases, and that this is unfair to you, but given that we can not expel the whole student body, we have decided that it is in the best interest of all of us, you the first, that you apply to transfer to another educational institution of your choice.

I will send you a list with the best centers, and once you make a choice I'll put in a good word for you.

My bests wishes for your future.

V.P

So, “given that they can't expel the whole school” they are expelling me,right? At this point in time I don't even care. I just wanna get home and get this thing running.

With a patience I don't really feel, I unpack everything. Installing and calibrating the Dive Gear takes less than I expected, though the sensation of being unable to move a muscle while the sensors are reading your body is quite unnerving, to say the least.

I would have never thought that installing the game would be the hardest part. True, I had a physical copy, but it was only for the base game. Thanks to the season pass, now I have to wait, not only for the normal install, but also for the download and installation of five expansions. Not that I'm complaining, of course, the problem is that now I have to wait more than ten hours until the extra seven and half Terabytes are downloaded and installed.

Sitting in front of the PC during the next few hours looking at the numbers change is not my favorite way of passing time, so I order take-out food for lunch and dinner and after I have a relaxed lunch while watching TV I open the holographic screen on my I-Ring and start surfing the net, looking once again for wikis with info about the game. I could use the internet access of the smart TV, but I need the whole power of the home line to download the game as fast as possible.

So, thanks to the unexpected gift from the game company, now I have to plan everything again from scratch, included my character. I spend the evening going through weapon guides, your typical sites that claim “This is the perfect class, guaranteed!” Pay a ridiculous fee for stupidly useless information! I would add. Time goes so slow that I even flip through a pair of real money trading sites.

Just for curiosity's sake. I enter a guide about the relationship system, which covers most of the characters you can befriend and the known rewards you get for each successive level of friendship. Every character has a screen capture of them by their name and a description of who they are and where to find them.

Then my heart skips a beat. Her name is Freyd Leichnam, a Vight, and she is the captain-commander of the mercenary guild. That means that every mercenary NPC you can hire in the game follows her orders and pays tribute to her, but that's not what has surprised me. Her sharp eyes, the shape of her nose, the line of her jaw, her plump lips... she looks like Loraine. They are similar even in body proportions: instead of being thin like a sylph, both Loraine and Freyd are slightly plump.

Obviously there are differences. Freyd has long, dark blue hair that reaches below her waist, her eyes are yellow, her lips are light purple and her skin is pale blue. Also, Freyd has two visible beauty marks; one at the right corner of her lips, and the other can be seen through her generous cleavage in her left breast, and even though I didn't get to see Loraine in a dress with so much cleavage, I'd swear her breasts wasn't as big as Freyd's.

I know what people say about going up too high in any character's questline, but I don't care about anyone right now. I have the firm conviction that I'm going to look for Freyd and I'm going to marry her.

Yes, I've said I'm going to marry her. Normally, players don't talk about it, but the developers said that many of the especial NPC's questlines can end up in very deep friendships, oaths of brotherhood, and even marriage, though the last bit was added just a few weeks ago with the latest expansion.

I know it doesn't say anything good about my mental state right now, but I have decided to fulfill with Freyd the promise I couldn't keep with Loraine.

I turn on my the screen of my PC and look at the timer in the game downloader window. I set an alarm in my I-Ring and go to take a shower, have dinner and get some sleep until the game is ready.

Hours later, and after making sure all the preparations are in order, I lie down on my bed and start the game, watching the intro sequence. I like to watch it whole the first time I start a game, but from that point on I always skip it unless I have the whim to watch it again.

Supposedly, the Gods are at war, but they are forbidden to act directly against each other, so they created several races to represent them in battle. Mostly like game of chess, but with living beings instead of normal pieces. They have planted in the minds of their creations the belief that the races of the other side are evil and want to destroy them and everything that they hold dear. White races against black races. Your job as a member of the black races is to improve you combat skills and get ready for the war that approaches.

Successive intro sequences expand the story, one for each new expansion, until the last of them explains that the white races have launched a massive invasion of the Eastern Continent, home of the black races. Now the black races need heroes more than ever, yada yada.

All in all, a pretty basic and cliched setting. Let's hope the game has at least a good lore to compensate for that.

Finally, I find myself at the character creation screen. With an imaginary hand, I start flicking through the available races. I don't have to worry about gender because every Dive game is gender-locked. In normal games it doesn't matter what gender you decide to choose, but it seems that “living” as a person of the opposite gender inside a Dive game can lead to identity disorders with time. In Dive games, male characters are male players, and female characters are female players, there's no trick in that.

I look at the Vight, or High Undead. The description says that they are what every mortal warlock or necromancer dream to become when they strike a deal to become a Lich. Vight are Undead that don't rot and keep their ego, like vampires, but they don't have the vampires' weaknesses. They are naturally gifted in magic and they can even conceive children of their race.

I look at the Trasgos, Loraine's chosen race, and to me they look like the beautified version of the Japanese Oni, with the only difference that their skin looks naturally armored in the arms, legs and back, and they have long and thin dragon-like tails.

Next is the Creeper race. They are slim, with pointy ears and their skins tend to be pale, grayish blue or faded green. It seems that they tend to prefer flexible armors and weapons that deal slash damage.

Then I see the Pookah, and they don't impress me at first glance, but I read their description anyways. “Don't be fooled by their slightly childish appearance. Pookah are playful and naughty, but in combat they can be fierce and sadistic. To compensate for their lack of height and muscle mass, they tend to fight with bows, crossbows, spears and pole weapons. They reproduce in big quantities and their females can be extremely lustful once they decide on a partner.” What the fuck was that last bit? Is it because details like that that the game was marked PEGI 18?

After all, I'm going to stick to my first choice: the Betrayed. Their lore says that in the beginning, they were the angelic bodyguards of the god that created them, but said god was paranoid and feared the potential of his own creation, so he banished them to the mortal realm. To weaken them, he took their wings, leaving the red lines in their backs. They have black lines on their bodies that resemble tattoos of different design, but in reality those lines are made of metal and are some kind of shackle to limit their power. As a last act of scorn, the god that created them gave them horns.

Stats-wise. The Betrayed have higher physical and magical attack compared to the rest of the races, but they have lower defense. Your typical definition of a glass cannon, but thanks to the tons of guides I've gone through, I've learned a pair of tricks to improve my chances of survival.

I start by defining my character's appearance. I make my character slightly taller and leaner than the default, that way I shave a few extra agility points to increase my evasion. I make my skin a little pale and spend a good deal of time modeling the face to look like my real one. Yeah, I like my face, call me narcissist. Then I use a fluorescent green for my eyes, turning the whites black, then I choose a cosmetic scar and put it diagonally on my right eyebrow.

After a pair of minutes modeling, my hairstyle is spiky on top, cropped at the sides and tied in a short tail at the nape. Next, and after browsing all the available choices, I choose a pair of horns that sprout from the top of the forehead. Their surface is segmented and makes them look serrated, and they curve over the head to curve forwards, making a little of an “S” shape. I choose a dark gray for my hair and horns and for a finishing touch, I highlight my hair and horns with the same green as my eyes.

Finally, I decide my skillset. I choose half-plate armor to increase my endurance and HP. I take Evasive Stance because it's basic knowledge that no attack can harm you if you're not there to receive it, and it also increases critical chance, so it works doubly for the build I have in mind. I decided on half-plate because full-plate can get to nullify the bonuses I get from my stance.

Even when my parents were still alive, I was kind of a hermit in multiplayer games. I didn't join a guild unless the difficulty curve forced me, and this time it's even more important that I reach as far as I can on my own. My aim is to reach the deepest relationship possible with Freyd, and guild mates can be an obstacle to that goal, for several reasons. That's why I thought up a build with crowd control in mind. I designed my character so I can fight several enemies at once and survive. This way I can level up faster, with an added advantage: bosses tend to summon minions, so I can go even further than other players without having to hire mercenaries or joining a guild.

For that end, I choose pole weapon for my right hand, because they don't damage a specific target, but anyone who enters its arc of attack. For knowledge, I choose witchcraft. I will get some darkness attack spells, but I will focus mostly in curses to hinder my enemies and power up myself. Finally, for my left hand I choose Glory Hand, thinking that I'm going to focus in those items that improve the success rate of my curses.

When I'm allowed to choose a second armor, I'll take mail, and when I get to choose my second Knowledge skill, I'll take Summoning Undead. I call this class “Dreadlord.”

After checking everything twice, to make sure I don't forget anything (I forgot to set my voice the first time) I click “Next” and I'm asked to choose a server and my character's name. To keep my promise with Loraine, I choose the server Alpis 2, even though I know I'm not gonna find her anymore. As I told her, so she would know that it's really me when we actually met in-game, I name myself “Icor.”

I click “Finish” and I'm answered with a system message

ARE YOU SURE THIS IS WHO YOU WANT TO BE?

After confirming, my sight becomes white and I'm surrounded by a sensation of acceleration, as if I was falling from a great height.

Here I come, world.