Chapter 4 - Skye’s Passion
26 days remaining
Skye
“There’s something about the feeling of being curled up under a pile of sheets that makes you feel comfortable. But at the same time . . . So alone.”
“Yesterday, Cielo gave me the bottle of his blood so that I can paint the walls with more messages today.” I pause for a moment.
It makes me feel like I always have a part of him with me. It makes me feel safe.
“WAKE UP, LADIES, YOU HAVE A DAY TO LIVE!” I jumped out of my bunk at the sound of the leader.
“Lady . . . I don’t like being called that. It feels patronizing.” I thought as I began to walk towards the cafeteria area for food.
“It can be downright petrifying knowing that what I’m about to do today can leave me dead if I’m not careful.” I bite my lip. I grasp Cielo’s blood tightly and begin to feel my cheeks burning up.
“I’ve always been told that I’m weird for liking the taste of blood. But Cielo’s is just . . . different.”
9:15 am
I was walking towards breakfast eyeing the room again. It felt just like the time that I was meeting with Cielo to discuss our plans to escape. The feeling was much worse this time. It felt as if my heart was on the verge of pounding out of my chest and falling onto the floor
“I-I-I guess I’ll start here, Then.”
“Should I meet with Cielo first?”
“But then what would we talk about?”
“I-I guess I should do it here then.” I tried to swallow and it felt like a tsunami rushing down my throat and then back out my pores as the cold sweat returned to my face.
“C-C-Cielo wouldn’t put me in a place where I could be harmed . . . Right?”
“H-He did say it was just a rumor.” I try to breathe but it didn’t feel as if it helped at all. I reached into my pant pocket and pulled out Cielo’s bottle of blood.
My vision was frantic, I dipped my finger into the bottle and began to move it towards the wall. The room was dense with people giving me a sense that I had a chance to succeed. My finger was so shaky and my breath was so fast that it felt as if I was choking on the air that I was breathing in.
“SKYE!” I heard a voice coming from behind me. Cielo’s voice.
“Are you alright?” I could hear in his voice that he was trying to keep himself from shouting. I felt horrible for being such a burden on him. If I wasn’t so sensitive, He wouldn’t have been worrying for me.
“Y-You should go over to our table, I can do this myself.”
“I can do this myself.” His words were echoing circles in my head and getting louder every lap. Over the past few days, I’ve begun to look up to Cielo as more of a superior and not an equal. But today I don’t even feel worthy of him. My eyes squint and I clenched my fists as if I was on the verge of saying something to combat him but couldn’t find the words. I could feel a warmth beginning to pour from my eyes.
“I-I’m not crying!” I told myself. My mind was practically yelling at my body to stop but it was in vain. I pressed my face up against my sleeve and ran towards our table.
10:15 am
It’s not at all uncommon for us to have to clean the bathrooms with toothbrushes. It’s a bizarre thing to have us do as a task but it keeps us busy nearly all day. The word busy is a bit of a stretch. All they’re actually doing is wasting our time because they don’t have anything productive to make us do. I was kneeling on the ground cleaning one of the toilets. An oddity here is that there aren’t separate boys and girls' bathrooms, I’ve always assumed they did that to spare themselves the expense of having to build another one. Luckily, There are stall doors, But people have to be checked and approved by the leaders to use a stall and are only allowed in one for two minutes at a time.
I’ve never thought about it, But there are separate boys and girls bunker rooms. Probably because they’re more difficult to survey overnight despite leaders still watching over both rooms. I realized that I was beginning to zone off and returned to scrubbing the toilet.
“I’m not making any progress.” I thought.
“They’d yell at me if I stopped though.” I frown slightly.
“It’s moments like these that make me question what my purpose in the world is.” I thought as I kept mindlessly scrubbing in the same spot.
“It’s to help Cielo escape.” I thought
“It’s to help me escape too.” I couldn’t help but feel as if all of my problems would vanish the moment I escaped this piece of hell.
I remembered the time that Cielo showed me his wings.
“It feels like a metaphor. He has limbs of such great power and no way to use them because of this prison. One day he’ll break free and be able to show the world his great powers. I, on the other hand, Don’t have any wings. I may break free eventually, But I’ll never fly the same skies as Cielo. Then I remembered my name.
“That’s really fucking ironic.” I thought to myself.
“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!?” I could hear the voices of leaders yelling at students
“ARE YOU NOT GOING TO LISTEN TO ME?” It’s really gruesome, It reminds me of why I want to escape so badly. In an instant, I feel my head crashing against the toilet seat and falling back towards the floor. I only barely found a moment to catch myself with my hands as I slammed them on the ground. I could see a figure staring down at me. He pulled from the ground by my hair and began yelling at me. I don’t think that they understand how much it hurts.
It reminded me of when I first met Cielo. When the leader grabbed me by my hair and dragged this exact bathroom. He beat me so hard that I thought that I was going to die. I sincerely believed that that was going to be the last day that I would ever live. But I didn’t cry. I was strong. But here I am, I’m in the same room, All he did was yell at me and I began to cry again. I don’t feel safe anywhere anymore. Cielo is the only person that I trust anymore. a part of me wishes that he was here to save me but another part of me wishes that I could fight for myself.
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“G-GET OFF OF ME!” I impulsively yelled, almost immediately regretting it. I swung my fist towards his face. The moment it made contact my heart sank. It felt as if I had just sentenced myself to death. Tears were still rolling from my face. But at the same time, I was red with anger. In the heat of the moment, I tried swinging at him with my other hand. He caught it. Instinctively I flung my last free hand at him. He caught it. He began to drive me into the wall of the stall. He was too strong for me to imagine myself overpowering him so I just gave in.
This didn’t just remind me of the day I met Cielo. It felt exactly like it. No . . . It felt worse. Today I wasn’t worried that I would die, I was sure of it. I kept crying, I couldn’t stop myself. I couldn’t stop thinking about how terrible a life that I would have to lead for it to have to flash before my eyes so many times. He ground his knuckles into me as he punched my head into the stall. Over and over and over and over. Every time that he hit me, I was certain that it was going to be the one to kill me. After what felt like forever, He stopped, leaving me bloody and battered by the side of the bathroom stall.
“Is this really how I’m going to die? I wish that I could have escaped with Cielo. It would have made him so happy.” I hesitate for a second.
“It would have made us so so happy. I’ve forgotten what it feels like to go places when I want to. I’ve forgotten what it feels like to talk to the people that I want to. I’ve forgotten what it feels like to not have to wonder if the day you’re living is your last. I’ve forgotten everything that makes me who I am. All that’s left is a depressed and anxiety-ridden shell of who I once was. I can physically survive here for the rest of eternity. But mentally, I feel like a ticking time bomb.
Despite my vision becoming blurred and smeared I could see what had to have been hundreds of people passing through the hallway. It was already time for lunch.
11:30 am
Cielo
“I’m still worried about Skye. Was it something that I said? I wouldn’t be able to live it down if I made her cry. She’s the only person that I care for anymore.” Just a few moments ago I was dismissed to lunch. Me and what have to be hundreds of other people were bustling through the hallways. So much so that I could barely walk without running into another person. Once I got to the cafeteria I sat down at my usual seat next to my usual people. Skye usually shows up a little later than I do so I took the time to fetch my food before I returned for her. I walked back towards the table with an extra bowl for her as I usually do.
“!?”
“That’s odd. She’s usually here by now.” I began to fall back into a daze as I tend to do when nothing is happening. I couldn’t help but keep thinking of what happened earlier today.
“I feel terrible for her, All I want is for her to be happy but we’re living together in a piece of hell on earth. I can’t stop thinking about why she started crying earlier. It had to have been because I told her that I could paint the messages without her. This entire time we’ve been doing everything as a team. That must have made her feel worthless.” I focus on the door, waiting for her to arrive.
“She has it so much harder than other people. She usually looks fine, But she mentioned that staying here for so long was starting to give her symptoms of depression and anxiety. It wasn’t diagnosed . . . But sometimes you can just see it in her eyes.” It felt as if time had frozen.
“N-No, It can’t be!” I meant it as a thought but I yelled it across the entire cafeteria.
“No. No. No. No. She wouldn’t do that.” I jumped up from my chair. It was far before any of the leaders were going to dismiss us. But that was one of the last things on my mind.
11:50 am
Skye
I grasped Cielo’s bottle of blood discretely so that it wouldn’t be seen by the leader.
“This is going to be the last piece of you that I ever see.” I thought to myself. I poured a few drops of it onto my finger before licking it.
“I don’t care what anybody says, I love the taste of your blood . . . It’s so rich.” I thought despite most of the blood that I tasted likely belonging to myself. I let my head slump over. Through the corner of my vision, I see a figure run past the door.
“C-Cielo?” I could have sworn that it was him, But my vision was waning so much I could have been imagining it. A few seconds pass without anybody saying anything.
“S-Skye?!?” I hear yelled back towards me from behind the door.
My head popped up in surprise.
“It’s him!”
“WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING TO!?! GET BACK TO CLEANING THE TOILET!” I heard the leader yell at me as if he expected me to actually do what he asked. I could hear footsteps pounding in my direction. It wasn’t the leader though. It was Cielo. I felt as if my senses were draining from my body. I could only barely tell that it was Cielo in the room and not somebody else. I could only barely hear the sounds of the ear-shattering screaming. I could only barely see who was winning the fight. There was one thing that I could see clearly, Though. Tears. Not on my face but Cielo’s. He was crying. For me. At the sight, I began to cry too. They weren’t tears of sadness or anxiety like usual. They were tears of joy. I’ve never had somebody in my life that had loved me so much that they would cry when they saw me like this. The last thing I heard before I passed out was Cielo’s voice.
“Every time I have to hit someone. Every time I have to hurt another person. I tell them that I don’t want to do it. I tell them that I have to do it. But the more I say it to you people . . . The less I feel like I mean it.”
9 pm
Cielo
I walk into the bunk room, strip off my coat and toss it up towards my bunk.
“I can’t believe that I actually fought a leader. Normally if I did something like this it would have repercussions but I don’t think that anybody saw me. All I needed to do was . . . Wash the blood off my hands. Thank god I was in a bathroom.” I chuckled to myself slightly as I hopped onto the ladder and began to climb up towards my bunk.
“Cielo.” I thought I heard my name being whispered to me somewhere in the room but I couldn’t discern where from. I started climbing up the ladder again.
“Cielo, I’m up here. Don’t tell anybody!” The voice was so quiet that for a second I still wasn’t sure if I was imagining it or not. But I could tell from the way that she was talking. It was Skye. I quickly climbed the rest of the way up the ladder. Surely enough, She was covered under my sheets. Not a single part of her was showing so that the leaders wouldn’t be able to see her.
“W-What are you doing here!?” I asked, trying my best to keep a whisper.
“How did you even get in here?” I hesitated at my thoughts.
“H-How did you know where my bunk is?”
“That-” She noticeably stuttered too.
“I’m the one asking the questions.” She said.
“It’s just . . . Why?”
“Why did you save me back there. We’re living in such a horrible place. Nobody thinks about anybody anymore. But you did . . . It makes me feel so . . . weird.
“And you came here just to tell me that?” I asked.
“Not really . . . I’m weak. I don’t feel safe at all when I’m alone anymore. I feel like I need you by my side at all times.” She takes a long pause.
“Especially right now.” She cuddled in closer next to me.”
“Y-You want to sleep with me?!” I asked.
“I-It’s not like that.”
“W-Were friends. But we’re also teammates. We’re in this together so I just . . .Thought that good friends should watch each other's backs in their most vulnerable moments.”
“O-Okay. I said despite her logic still seeming somewhat forced. She gave me a big goofy smile that I couldn’t help but reciprocate. The bed was extremely small. It was barely large enough to fit myself in, Much less the both of us. We were so tight together that it felt as if we were a single person at that moment. And at that moment, I felt the most comfortable that I’ve ever felt in my life.
3 am
Skye
I was awoken by Cielo whispering my name trying to get my attention. I slowly squint my eyes open. I was reminded of the time that we were trapped in the closet together and I woke up next to him just like this. This time it was different, We were much closer to each other. My weight . . . felt off. I somehow felt lighter and more nimble but like I also had more physical weight on my body.
“Skye.” I heard him whisper again.
“Don’t freak out. Just . . . look at your back.” Hesitantly, I reached my hand out to feel my back but it was stopped halfway by something. It felt coarse but also bony. For a second I was confused but then it struck me.
“Cielo isn’t the only one anymore.”