Boys are foolish for promising things they can’t keep, but girls are just as much the fools for believing them. So, when I promised Mercedes I would always be there to protect her, we were both at fault for thinking it was a promise that could be kept.

I saved her life once from Bartholomew Black, and spewed my empty promises, which she happily swallowed. It whet the seed of obsession that I’m sure was already inside her, eagerly waiting to be cultivated.

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

I said this would be the story of how I met Mercedes, and I meant it. When you talk about the past, though, you rarely remember only what you want to remember.

I was fifteen when I first saw her. I had just been freed from the bonds of slavery, and was quick to sell my freedom back to the people who had given it to me. I had joined the army that had saved me.

Women were much less common to see suited up in steel, but it wasn’t so rare a sight as to draw attention to her as she walked into the courtyard where the rest of us had been waiting. Yet, we all turned towards her anyways.

She brushed her raven hair away from her face, revealing the most beautiful, sparkling green eyes I had ever seen, framed by dark lashes and strong brows. Her cherry lips curled slightly at the ends into a faint smile.

I didn’t know her name at the time, but it hardly mattered to me. I was entirely captivated by her.

She found a seat among us in the stands that surrounded the courtyard, and sat her unusually long sword, wrapped all the way up the blade in leather, beside her.

“Welcome, recruits, to the hardest training you will ever endure.” A deep, scratchy voice growled as a tall man limped towards the center of the courtyard.

I had heard about this man before from Jaekyll, but it was my first time actually seeing the instructor before. The limp made it obvious.

“My name is Jendryng, but you will refer to me only as sir, or you will be punished, do you understand?” He spat as he reached his goal in the center.

Whisperings filled the air.

Is that really who’s going to teach us? He can barely walk! This old man? What a joke!

Jendryng cupped his ear and leaned in towards us as he looked between us. “Now I know I haven’t lost my hearing yet. You will answer me when I speak to you, recruits.”

“Aye, sir.” A young man said apathetically. His cold, pale, blue eyes lazily watched the instructor as he put on his show, entirely uninterested.

“That’s the spirit, lad.” Jendryng said. “Come on down here, whoever that was!”

We all put our eyes on the young man. With a sigh, he stood and began walking down the steps towards the center of the courtyard, to where Jendryng was hunched.

“Hm… Let’s see here…” Jendryng muttered as he scanned the rest of our faces. His eyes lit up when he saw the girl. “You there, babe. Come down as well!”

The girl stood, picked up her sword, and started walking. When she met the others at the center, the height difference was immediately noticeable. I hadn’t realized it as she walked in, but she was much taller than even the young man, who must have been nearly six feet on his own.

“A big one, ain’t ya?” Jendryng said, chuckling with delighted surprise. He took a few steps back, looked between the two, then nodded.

“Alright. Go ahead and fight.”

The young man looked at the instructor, but it was impossible to tell what he was thinking behind those cold eyes. Confusion? Apathy? Disappointment?

The girl did not hesitate. She drew her blade and tossed the leather sheath aside.

“I need a weapon.” The young man said, holding out his hand to the instructor, but never taking his eyes off his opponent.

“Aye, that you do. Too bad you didn’t bring one.” Jendryng said with a wicked smile. “You may begin.”

The girl took a step back and brought the blade up, level with her chest, pointing it towards the young man.

As he brought his arms up to his face to defend himself, the girl crouched and kicked off from both feet, dashing towards him and instantly closing the distance.

She was lightning when she moved, every motion was carried by quick speed and precise movements.

The young man, however, was even faster. He side-stepped at the last second to avoid the blade, then brought his leg around and, while twisting his body, launched a heavy kick into the girl’s side. She collapsed.

The young man dropped his stance. “Why are we doing this?” He asked the instructor, who had crept closer to inspect the girl.

“I want to see what you all can do. I’ll have each of you face off one on one against each other. Hopefully the other fights prove more hopeful than this one.” Said Jendryng glaring at the girl as she struggled to pick herself up.

The young man let out a heavy sigh. “This is a waste of my time.” He added, before returning to his seat.

“Where are you going?” Jendryng asked. “You stay until you lose.”

“Wouldn’t it be more effective to see two new fighters?” The young man asked.

“If you don’t lose, you won’t learn anything.”

Jendryng looked around the crowd of us as we tried to shrink in our seats, until his gruesome gaze fell upon me. He pointed me out, and waved me down.

I had no doubt in my ability to fight. I’d survived the fighting pits for years, and there was nobody here who really threatened me. However, those had been death fights. I didn’t know how to hold back, and that’s what worried me the most. I didn’t want to hurt someone on my first day.

“Right, stand there. That’s fine.” Jendryng said as I nervously took position. He smiled at the young man. “This one doesn’t have a weapon.” He said mockingly.

Jendryng put a hand on my shoulder and leaned into my ear. Don’t hold back. He whispered in his low, raspy voice.

He backed away, waved to us, and nodded. “Go ahead, then. Fight.”

The young man took up a different stance, this time bending putting one foot back and bringing his fists up beside his jaw. He waited for me to make the first move.

“What’s with those eyes?”

Someone called out from the stands.

“Are they red? What a freak!”

I looked up, but I couldn’t tell who it was.

Something snapped inside of me. The door to my anger had been unlocked, it just needed a small push to open it.

“Are you going to make a move, freak?” The young man with the cold eyes said.

Snap.

It was an understatement to say that I had trouble managing my emotions well. I had never really learned to express myself, so everything just got buried on top of everything else, until it became too much of a burden and I snapped under the weight of it all.

Right before my fight with the young man, I had snapped.

The fight itself is nothing more than a blur in my mind, but I heard most of the details from the others afterwards.

They said I looked more like an animal, than a knight. Without any style or stance, I charged. Moving based on pure instinct, I swung around wildly, colliding with the young man. Every punch or kick I threw, he managed to block or dodge, but he wasn’t able to counter my aggressive attacks.

The young man tried to take charge of the fight but forcing in a punch. I caught it, pushed forward, and twisted it behind him.

Crack!

The fight was over, and Jendryng rushed over to pull me off of the young man.

“What’s your name?” The young man wheezed.

“Mekaile.”

“I’m Booker. I’ll remember you.”

It had sounded like a threat, but a smile crept across his face. It wasn’t a menacing smile, either. He seemed genuinely thrilled at having his arm broken.

Jendryng and another student helped the young man to the infirmary, and dismissed the class.

“What were you thinking?!” Jaekyll bellowed. He was pacing back and forth, pulling at his receding hair.

“The kid can fight!” Jendryng said. “You should’a seen him! Like a wild beast!”

Jaekyll turned on him with a fearsome scowl. “You let it go too far!”

It was impossible to see the two as brothers.

Jendryng, hunched over and limping, was a detestable sight. His raspy voice and crooked smile made him very uncomfortable to speak to, as well.

Jaekyll was the opposite. He was tall, well-built, handsome. He spoke with a definite presence, but he could also be gentle when he needed to be. It was obvious to see why I looked up to Jaekyll as a father, but it went beyond that. He had been the one who had pulled me out of the fighting pit that day.

“Booker Clarke is on his back with a broken arm because of you!” Jaekyll shouted.

Jendryng frowned, and his face seemed to sag with it.

“He’ll be fine. That damned boy is as tough to kill as his father.”

Jaekyll sat in his chair and rubbed his face for a moment.

“Mekaile, you ought to visit that boy and apologize.”

“Why? It isn’t my fault. Jendryng told me not to go easy on him. Besides-”

Jaekyll jumped to his feet, pounding into the ground. “You could have killed him! Do you understand that? People already look at you and fear you. Do you want to give them a justifiable reason to be afraid? Or do you want to be someone that can be depended on?”

A lump caught in my throat, pushing all of my excuses down.

I resigned with a nod, and agreed to visit Booker in the infirmary, though I didn’t see the point. He would probably just be angry, or afraid, or both. Either way, I was probably the last person he wanted to see.

“Well, if it isn’t the Red Devil.”

Booker was smiling a wide grin when he saw me coming into the infirmary.

“What… did you just call me?”

“Don’t like it? I’ve been trying to think of a good nickname for you.”

“You aren’t… mad?”

“I’m mad about the arm. I’m mad that I lost. I’m not mad at you, though. If anything, I’m mad at myself. I shouldn’t have given you that opening. Until then, we were pretty even.”

That isn’t at all how the other watchers had described it, but I couldn’t remember it myself, and I didn’t want to argue with him. Not when he looked so pleased by it.

“That was really something else! It’s been so long since I fought someone as good as you. That first girl certainly wasn’t anything special. Where did you learn to fight like that?”

I had almost forgotten about the girl. As soon as he mentioned her, I felt a strange warmth in the pit of my stomach, and I thought I was going to be sick.

“That girl… Is she ok?” I asked.

“Huh? You’d know better than I would. I was rushed here after our fight, remember?” He said, wiggling his bandaged elbow.

“Sorry Booker, but I feel like I should go check up on her. You hit her pretty good, you know.”

He smiled, as if I had just praised him. I didn’t have the heart to correct him, though. Instead, I left to go find her.

After searching the castle for the better part of an hour, I found her outside on a hill, swinging her sword around by herself.

I didn’t want to interrupt, so I watched as she danced. Twirling, spinning, swinging. Every action was graceful, powerful, and beautiful.

“How long have you been practicing?” I said to myself.

She screamed, lost her balance, and nearly fell over when the sword stuck in the dirt.

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“Sorry! I didn’t mean to--”

“Who are you?” She growled. Though, her expression changed when she realized who I was. She must have recognized me from the fight. “You’re the animal boy.”

Animal Boy doesn’t sound nearly as cool as Red Devil, I thought, making sure not to say this out loud.

“And you’re the one who went down after one hit.” I retorted.

Her face went red, and her lips turned up in a pout. “He got lucky!”

I couldn’t help but smile. That warm feeling in my stomach expanded, filling my whole body with the sensation.

“Why are you here?” She asked.

“I was looking for you, wanted to make sure you’re all right.”

“I’m fine. What about that boy? You nearly tore his arm off.”

“He’s going to be fine, I think.”

“Good. I want a rematch against him, when he gets better.”

An awkward silence descended upon us, as we ran out of things to talk about. There were so many things I had wanted to talk to her about before, but they spilled out of my mind, leaking out with the sweat that was pouring out of me.

It was the first time I had ever talked to a girl before, and I had never been more nervous. Facing off against killers in the fighting pits was easier than this.

“I never got your name.” I said.

“I never gave it.”

Her reply was short, and she seemed to have grown suspicious.

“I’m Mek--”

“Let me see your hand.” She cut me off.

“Well, that’s a bit forward, isn’t it?” I tried to laugh away my discomfort. She was suddenly acting very cold.

“Your right hand.”

I turned over my right hand, and removed my glove, showing off the brand that had been burned into my palm.

She silently observed it. Then, she scrambled to undo the belts around her gauntlet, and show me her own hand. Holding it next to mine, she compared the mark that had been burned into her skin, as well.

“They’re the same?” I said.

“Where did you get this mark?”

“I don’t remember, I was born a slave. They probably branded me when I was a baby.”

“It didn’t just appear one day?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

She turned to me with accusing eyes. “Are you lying to me?”

I pulled my hand back. “What reason would I have to lie?”

“You… don’t know what it is, do you?”

“What do you mean?”

She sighed. “I’ve been looking for another mark like this for years, hoping to find some answers, but you don’t have any either, do you?”

I had no idea what the girl was talking about. Was she crazy? Looks could only take a person so far. Maybe I shouldn’t have come to check on her.

“It’s just a slave mark. Weren’t you a slave? Isn’t that where you got it?”

“No, I’ve never been a slave. Did you see any other slaves with this mark?”

I had never really bothered to investigate the marks of the other slaves. Most of the time, they were trying to kill me, so a marking on my hand had been the least of my concerns. Though, I was sure one or two of the others must have shared it.

“Where did you get it, then?” I asked.

“It just appeared one day, along with my powers.”

She was crazy, after all.

“What do you mean, special powers?” I asked, hesitantly.

“Like what you did earlier today, during the fight.”

“What do you mean?”

“I could feel you during the fight. You were using the mark.”

Her eyes lit up, and their usual sparkled had exploded into a shine. She was way too excited about something that didn’t make any sense.

“Your power is just like mine. It lets you move faster than you ever could without it. Though, you still aren’t as fast as me.”

“Is that right? Ha ha…” I chuckled uncomfortably.

She nodded eagerly, ignoring my awkward laugh.

“I want to see it again, the way you fight!”

Her smile was infectious, and I found myself smiling along with her, my apprehension slowly melting away.

“Maybe we’ll get a chance tomorrow, during the next class.”

I just remembered I still didn’t know her name.

“By the way, I--”

“Mekaile, is that you? What are you doing out here, I’ve been looking for you?”

Jaekyll was jogging over to us.

“We need to talk.” He said sternly.

As I followed him back towards the castle, I glanced over my shoulder at the girl, who was glaring at Jaekyll with venomous eyes. Her animosity sent a cold shiver slithering up my spine.

“What is it?” I asked nervously, on the way.

“I wanted to talk to you about what happened today.”

“I thought we already talked about it.”

“I don’t think you understood what I was trying to tell you. I was angry earlier, but do you know why?”

“I took the fight too far.”

“You did. You have amazing potential, Mekaile. You have raw talent for fighting. You could be a great fighter one day. But is that all you want to be? Do you just want to be someone who’s good at killing others? That’s nothing more than a soldier. When I look at you, I see so much more than that. I want to see you grow into a great person, not a great warrior.”

I took in what Jaekyll was saying, but I still didn’t understand it at the time. All I’d ever known was fighting, and it was all I ever wanted to do. I did want to grow up to be a great warrior, so him telling me that such a dream was too shallow for me didn’t make much sense at all.

It infuriated me to hear him cut apart my dream, but only because he was right. It was really the only thing I knew, it wasn’t really what I wanted. But, when I tried to think about what I wanted, I didn’t know what that was. I had never had the opportunity to decide for myself what was important to me.

So, like the child I was, I rejected the idea of pushing past what I knew.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Jaekyll. Fighting is exactly what I want to do. I live for it, I breathe for it, I plan to die for it.”

Jaekyll sighed, and shrugged his shoulders.

“I thought you might say something like that. I knew a boy who was just like you, when I was growing up. My best friend, Oliver, loved to fight. He used to pick fights with anybody and everybody. It became his reason for living, and he was only smiling when he was hitting someone. Eventually, people became afraid of his violent nature, and started avoiding him. As more and more of the people close to him abandoned him, he began to realize how much he had cherished them. In the end, he learned too late just how important having family and friends was to him. I don’t want to see you end up the same way as Oliver did.”

“What happened to him?”

“He was killed by one of the people he had hurt.”

I was silent the rest of the walk back to his office, thinking about what he had said.

That wouldn’t happen to me, I thought to myself. I’ll be a hero, not a villain.

I kept that to myself, though. I knew saying something like that to Jaekyll would only make the situation worse. I knew he was only saying all this because he cared about me, but I thought his worry was misdirected.

He didn’t need to worry about me.

“That girl you were with… Mercedes, I think it was… Is she your friend?”

He asked.

Mercedes?

What a beautiful name.

“I don’t know. She’s weird, but she’s also a nice person, I think.”

“What about Booker, did you see him in the infirmary today?”

“Yeah, he’s even weirder. He was actually happy that I’d broken his arm.”

“I’m glad he’s okay. It could have been a lot worse, don’t you think? Anyways, my point is that these people are like you, in a lot of ways. I hope you’ll come to think of them as friends, and then you’ll really understand what I’m trying to tell you. I don’t want you to have to lose something, to realize how important it is. You’re smarter than that.”

During training the next day, Mercedes sat right next to me.

“Good morning, Red!” She said cheerfully.

Red?

“I’m not sure why everyone keeps trying to give me a nickname. Mekaile works just fine, doesn’t it?”

“That’s so ordinary, though. What’s your surname?”

“I’m an orphan. I don’t have a surname.”

“That’s another thing we have in common!”

The uneven tapping of Jendryng’s feet filled the courtyard as he made his way to the center again.

“Alright, since the last sparring match ended up hospitalizing someone, we aren’t allowed to do that anymore. So, instead, we’re going to go right into physical training. Everybody, pair up!”

Some people were quick to find their partners, while others frantically looked between each other.

Mercedes patted me on the back, a little too hard.

“Partner up with me, ok?”

I didn’t know why we had been pairing up, but I didn’t really want to be partners with the girl who had lost in one hit.

Before I could protest, she gave me a big smile, and I knew I had already lost.

“S-sure.” I mumbled, trying to avoid her eyes.

“Hey, by the way, why are your eyes red?”

“Why are your eyes brown?”

“Brown eyes are common here in the Sovereignty. Red eyes, however, aren’t just rare. You’re probably the only red-eyed boy in the world.”

“So what?” I asked, getting irritated. I hated my eyes, but I hated talking about them even more. People had always called me a freak because of them. People hated me because of them.

“I just think they’re really pretty.”

What?

Pretty?

“You think my eyes are… pretty?”

“Beautiful is a better word, actually.”

That decided it, for me. This girl was insane.

Nobody had ever told me they found my eyes attractive, before.

“Now your face is red, too!” She said with a smug smirk.

Jendryng cleared his throat with a grotesque wheeze.

“Good, you’ve all paired up. Now, everyone is gathered here because they are already good at some kind of fighting. However, when you’re in a life-or-death situation, more times than not, you’re going to need to depend on someone. After all, a chain is only as strong as it’s weakest link. If one of you fails, it puts someone else at risk. That’s what it means to be a team.

“So, we’re going to do rigorous physical training all day. You and your partner both need to remain standing and conscious. If your partner fails, so do you. The last team standing will be exempt from supplementary training.” He emphasized the last words, and let them hang in the air, like a miasma that slowly filled our lungs.

“W-what do you mean, s-s-supplementary?” One of the other students asked. He was a shorter boy, with sandy hair and a nervous twitch.

Jendryng grinned a foul grin. “If you want to find out, by all means, be the first to drop. If not, then simply win. Alright, recruits, line up here in the courtyard.”

“Show me what you’ve got, Red. I know we can win this.” Mercedes boasted.

It was grueling. It felt more like punishment, than training. If this was the regular training, I did not want to face the supplementary training.

What amazed me more than that, though, was Mercedes. She pushed through the push-ups with ease, outran everyone during the running, and she looked like she could go at this pace all night. She was incredibly fit.

Shame bit at my exhausted heels for having doubted Mercedes before. Now, I was the weak link.

There were only two other pairs left, and we had just started an endurance test.

We each held a log above our heads, and had to hold it steady while Jendryng spewed insults at us.

Looking over at the others, hoping to see them struggling as much as I was, I noticed the sandy-haired boy with the stutter, sweat pouring across his eyes and his arms wiggling under the weight.

His partner, a taller boy with thin eyes and a pointed nose, was scowling at him, barking something under his breath.

Not long after that, the sandy-haired boy collapsed, and the log fell on top of him. His partner cursed, and stormed off to sit with the others who had also failed, leaving the boy to squirm under the massive beam of wood.

“Your partner has deserted you in your time of need. What are you going to do about it?” Jendryng howled.

The boy started gasping, unable to push the log off of his chest.

“Come on, boy! Do or die! If you can’t beat a log, how are you going to beat someone who’s actively trying to end your life! Push, boy!”

His face burned red as he pushed against the log with the last of his energy. When it failed, he started going limp.

“Help him, he’s passed out!” A boy from the other remaining team called out.

“I can’t help him. Only his partner could help him, and he abandoned him immediately. Don’t you see? When you’re in battle, there won’t be a well-trained instructor to help you up when you fall. You can’t count on others to help you.”

I thought he had said the point of this lesson was to teach us teamwork, but it seemed like he was trying to teach us the opposite, that we shouldn’t rely on others. That, of course, made more sense to me. Though, if I hadn’t been paired with Mercedes, I would have already failed.

Then, Jendryng’s words came back to me.

“I really hope you don’t hate me for this, Mercedes.” I muttered.

I threw my log down, and ran over to the boy on the ground. I pulled the log off, and helped him sit up. Air rushed back into his chest.

When he came to, he saw my eyes, and he went pale.

“G-get away from me, monster!” He screamed as he scrambled out of my arms and crawled away.

You’re welcome.

I got back to my feet, and looked over at Mercedes haplessly, but she nodded and smiled. She had thrown her log down just after me.

Jendryng slowly began clapping.

“I told you in the beginning that this was an exercise in teamwork. You’re only as strong as your weakest link. If one of you falls, it is up to the rest of you to pick him back up. That way, if you fall, you know you have a team behind you who will be there to pick you up. Mekaile was the only one who recognized this, and gave up his chance at immunity from supplementary lessons to help his fallen man, even after his own partner abandoned him.”

I expected to see Jendryng giving me one of his creepy smiles, but he had a sour frown on his face.

“This monster is a better man than the rest of you. Mekaile, take Reinholdt to the infirmary, make sure nothing important got crushed. you’re both exempt from the supplementary lessons. The rest of you, go grab dinner at the mess hall, then return here. We’ll be training until dawn.”

Reinholdt must have been the sandy-haired boy, but when he heard Jendryng mention my name, I thought he might cry, the way fear swallowed his thin face.

But he didn’t cry. He was quiet all the way to the infirmary.

“Well now, the Red Devil returns with another victim?” Booker asked.

“This time I had nothing to do with it.” I said, returning his smile.

“Thank you, Mekaile. I couldn’t say it before, but… Thank you.” Reinholdt said, timidly eyeing the floor.

“What are you doing here?”

“W-what do you mean?”

“You aren’t cut out for fighting. Why do you want to be a knight?”

Reinholdt shivered as I spoke to him.

Booker chuckled.

“There’s more to being a knight than just fighting, you know.” Reinholdt said quietly.

The doctor arrived and took over before I could reply, though I’m not sure what I might have said to that.

Instead, I pulled up a chair next to Booker.

“By the way, why are you here?” He asked.

“I want to be a knight.”

“With the way you fight, you seem more like an assassin than a knight.”

“I used to be a slave in the fighting pits to the east, before the war.”

I wasn’t sure why I had told him that. I hadn’t felt any desire to talk about that yet, so why now? It seemed particularly easy to talk to Booker. Even easier than Jaekyll. It was as though Booker had no expectations about my character.

“That explains why you don’t really have any style or technique. You weren’t trained fight, you were just thrown into it, is that it?”

I didn’t answer. I didn’t really need to.

“What about you? You’re pretty talented yourself. Where’d you learn to fight?”

“My father trained me.”

“Is he a knight?”

“He was. He’s dead, now.”

Booker and I talked for awhile, until Reinholdt was cleared to return to training. I offered to walk him back to the dorm, but he was still too afraid of me.

Instead, I wandered around the castle for a while, and found myself returning to the field just outside, where I had met Mercedes before.

I half expected her to be training here, until I remembered that she was still in supplementary training with Jendryng at the courtyard.

I took a seat on the hill and watched the sun as it set behind the mountains. As the last embers of light were snuffed out by the coming dark of night, I did my best not to think about anything.

When you try to think about nothing, it seems almost impossible to avoid thinking about everything.

It seemed people had expectations of me that I couldn’t live up to.

Some people, like Jaekyll, saw me as a great person, capable of great things. Most, though, were afraid of me, and feared I would want to hurt them.

I didn’t even know what I could expect of myself, so how were other people able to come to conclusions about who I was, when I hardly knew that myself?

That night I looked up at the stars, wishing I had someone to look at them with me.