Take me down to Paradise City,

where the grass is green and the girls are pretty,

Oh, why don’t you please take me home.

– “Paradise City” Guns and Roses

Brother Roger reclined on the plush couch and rubbed his temples. Living through lucid memories tended to be draining, both combatant and their battle avatar. Mockingbird fell asleep.

He needed to figure out his next part of the plan. It would involve finding out as much information as he could about his adversary as possible. Often times people’s personalities came out during the heat of combat, especially after they lost. He knew it was a time to go to the one place that specialized in the sale of information.

He got up to make himself a cup of coffee to help clear his mind from reliving the duel. It was time to make coffee the earth-realm way, using magic tended to generate random tastes in the brew. One day the coffee could impress even the worst of critics, the next it could taste like turpentine. The consistency was never there. The old slow way was tedious but guaranteed but consistent results.

He opened up his shutters to get a look of the outside. Through the window, he noticed various saw a rainbow flora that caught his attention. His mind began to wonder if the flowers in the astral realm smelled like their cousins in the earth realm. He was snapped out of his dream-like state by Mockingbird who smelled the coffee.

The bird was squawking excitedly as he prepared one cup and a bowl. Roger brought the bowl and cup over, and before he could put it down his avatar jumped into the bowl. It playfully splashed around spilling coffee everywhere.

“Why can’t you enjoy it like a normal person?” asked Brother Roger.

“You enjoy it your way, I’ll enjoy it my way,” replied Mockingbird.

Brother Roger smiled and sipped on his brew as Mockingbird continued to play. His thoughts drifted towards his avatar. According to the people at Guest Reception and Relations, they told him battle avatars are a reflection of your most deep and hidden desires. These desires are typically locked away down in your soul. Most people go through their entire lives without even knowing these desires exist. Fate Mages are exceedingly blessed, not only with the ability to see them but to also have the capability to interact.

At first, he was resentful that his deepest desire was a simple Mockingbird. Then as he began to interact with it, he soon realized what it all meant.

His deepest desire was to be happy, carefree and innocent from the evil and corruption around him. He saw evil in the world and wanted to put a stop to it all. A little part of him, the selfish part, wanted to put on blinders and go through life only caring about himself.

His talks with The Deacon reminded him that he had to overcome those selfish desires and work for the great glory of God and others. Some days were easier than others. Mockingbird helped him realize that it was natural to have those feelings as long as one didn’t let it dominate your existence.

The caffeine slowly worked into his bloodstream as the fog that enveloped his mind lifted. He could now think clearly. When Mockingbird was done, he stood up and stretched. As he straightened his tie back up, his avatar put the dishes away.

“Where to next?” asked Mockingbird.

“We need to head to the Speakeasy. It’s time to buy some information,” replied Brother Roger.

“I don’t like that place, and the people there like to inhale burning leaves,” complained Mockingbird.

Roger realized that Mockingbird was referring to cigars and cigarettes and smiled. The two teleported to the business district of Astral Chicago.

The entrance to the Speakeasy was one story brick building with bars on the windows. The sign on the front door read “Out of Business”.

Brother Roger walked around to the side of the building and into the alley. Scrawled on the metal door was written: “Post no bills”. Several posters advertising movies and businesses littered the wall. With three heavy knocks, he wrapped his knuckles on the door. Roger paused, and then knocked two more times. He heard a metal against metal sound as an eye hole opened up. A pair of red eyes stared back at him.

“Al sent me,” Brother Roger said to the person on the other side.

The slide slid shut as locks unlocked. The sound of a heavy bar echoed against the door as it slowly opened up. He was greeted by a gorilla in a tuxedo. The gorilla, a battle avatar, belonged to a skinny 19-year-old boy that couldn’t have weighed more than 90lbs.

“Deepest desires,” thought Brother Roger after taking a second look at the 500lbs gorilla.

The gorilla closed the door as the boy asked him what he was looking for. Brother Roger told him he sought an information broker going by the name of “Jimmy the Snitch”. The boy pointed him towards the “Red Room”.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

Inside, gambling was the order of business. Several televisions were broadcasting fights; walls held current odds of the various mage-duels while employees were updating them. Still, other people were gambling at various tables.

Inside the “Red Room” women and men were dancing on stage. Brother Roger ignored the den of sin. He would pray for forgiveness, as he did every time he had to come here for information, either buying or selling information.

He knew his contact would be sitting in a private booth. Mockingbird squawked angrily at a lady, wearing very little, who tried to touch it. She just smiled and walked on. Brother Roger pushed open a black velvet curtain, Jimmy the Snitch was sitting down reading a children’s book titled “Go Dog Go”. His battle avatar, a green leafy cannabis plant, was under a heat lamp soaking up the light.

“So what brings you to Sodom and Gomorra?” asked Jimmy.

Jimmy was an over-weight Italian man with a receding gray hairline. His ash-grey business suit, that hardly fit his fat body, looked comfortable and well worn.

“I need information about a certain someone,” replied Brother Roger.

“Details,” said Jimmy without looking up from his book. “I’m too old to playing the pronoun game.”

Roger’s eyes studied the man. Jimmy began to play with the gold ring on his finger.

“Her name is Baba Yaga; I want the list of all her fights, wins and losses. Even her practice duels.”

“Info on guild leaders will cost you more.”

“I expect a discount.”

“For you? Why should I do that?”

“I’d expect that people would pay big money to know you are illiterate, I’ll keep my mouth shut for a discount,” Roger replied.

“What makes you think I don’t know how to read?”

“Simple, the way you are playing with your ring suggests you nervous about something. The book “Go Dog Go” is a children’s book. They are only read for one of two reasons: 1. either you read it to a child as a bedtime story 2. Or you use books like that to learn to read. Since this isn’t a child-friendly establishment, I would guess you want to learn to read.”

Jimmy did little to hide the expression on his face. His lower lip twitched as he wrestled with the idea of which part of the river he wanted to throw Brother Roger out for being right, even if it would be bad for business.

“I’ll forward you the information and the bill” Jimmy irritatingly said.

Brother Roger nodded as he quickly left. By the time he made it out of the Speakeasy he had the requested information. He transferred the funds and went back home.

When he got home he closed the shutters and went over the data. Mockingbird cleaned up the dishes. The data read:

Baba Yaga (current level Newbie)

Total wagered duels: 78

Total wins: 1 (was 75)

Total losses: 4

Draws: 0

Re-duel: 15

_________________

Total non-wagered duels: 175

Total wins: 10

Total losses: 0

Draws: 165

Brother Rogers went over the data a few times in his head. He raised his hand in the air and the facts and figures appeared in blue letters above his head.

“Mockingbird, bring up what we got on the duels with the House of the One God,” he said.

A second list of words appeared next to him.

“Why do they have so many non-wagered fights?” he asked. “Wait a second, cross reference the data with their victories and locations non-wagered duels.”

“Looks like 90-percent of the non-wagered fights were at the Office Park Arena, and were against fellow guild members!” replied Mockingbird.

“I willing to be my bottom dollar they were researching the area to gain a tactical advantage.”

He expanded the data and all of the draws were when she “dueled” people from her elite guard she dubbed “The Four Horsemen”. The data also showed the duels all took place in the Downtown arena. There was a side note scrawled in by Jimmy that said the downtown arena was closed for repairs, and has not been in operation for some time.

He next scanned at the data focusing on her wagered losses:

1. Outrider (Guilds – The Black Suns/Pit Lords of the 6th Degree) 532HP versus Baba Yaga (Guild – House of the One God) 0HP

2. Lord Douglas* (Guild – Draconian Player’s Guild) 260HP versus Baba Yaga (Guild – House of the One God) 0HP

*notes: Lord Douglas was EXCOMMUNICATED for cheating

3. The Fishermen (Akuma – 657HP, Anna Lee – 776HP, Goldilocks – 777HP, Mr. Bad Kitty – 775HP, Whisper – 650HP) versus The Four Horsemen (Baba Yaga – 0HP, Mr. Bun-Bun 0HP, Sparkle 0HP, Taaoon 0HP, ZumZum 0HP)

4. Mr. Bad Kitty (Guild - The Unconquered Temple of Light) 777HP versus Baba Yaga (Guild – House of the One God) 0HP

Brother Roger reread the data concerning her losses several times. He knew she lost to Mr. Bad Kitty on purpose in their battle at the Central Bank, but her Four Horsemen losing on purpose required too much suspension of disbelief.

“What are re-duels?” questioned Mockingbird.

“When a person loses, normally they normally have to wait one sidereal month to be able to re-fight the person again. The loser can request a re-duel, but this time the loser has to wager two times the initial amount. It’s a double-or-nothing type bet.” Roger said. “Thevictor has the option to waive the 1-month rule or fight. According to this, she won all her re-duels, and by a large margin.”

The figures suggested Baba Yaga won by 300HP or more after she fought the same opponent a second time.

“Does it say her group re-dueled the Fishermen?” asked Mockingbird.

He rechecked the data several times, there was no evidence they did. He wondered if they submitted the offer and were turned down.

Brother Roger knew the only way to figure out how the old witch thought; he would need to talk to someone who defeated her.

Since Outrider belonged a rival guild, he was out of the question. There was no point talking to the guy who cheated. His information would have been absolutely unrealizable. There was one option left.

The only way Brother Roger and Mockingbird could get the answers they needed was to talk to Mr. Bad Kitty or someone from the Fishermen.