I exhaled deeply, running a hand through my hair, hating that she was gone—even if it was just for a while. A part of me felt like I was still there with her, still on the observation deck, her body pressed against mine, her lips on mine. And then reality hit: I’d been this close to losing control, to letting the heat of the moment take us somewhere neither of us was ready to go. It was so damn hard to remember that she had been the one to stop, that we’d both somehow managed to be adults about it. Both of us. And yet, here I was, my body still humming, my mind stuck on the way her touch had set me on fire.

Damn. She was perfect. Absolutely, maddeningly perfect.

I turned on my heel and made my way back to my cabin. The door slid shut behind me with a soft hiss, and suddenly, the room felt way too small. Stifling. Like the walls were closing in. I leaned against the door, pressing my forehead against the cool metal, trying to steady my breathing, trying to calm the whirlwind in my head. I’m a captain, I reminded myself. Not a horny teenager. But God, it didn’t feel that way. Not even a little. Get it together, Rossi.

Stripping off my bodysuit turned into a full-on battle, the damp fabric clinging to my skin like it was mocking me, reminding me of just how close I’d come to completely unraveling. My cheeks burned as I yanked it down and kicked it aside, standing there in the cool air in nothing but my frustration. My heart was still pounding, my body still tense, and I felt so damn inadequate. Not like the guy I wanted to be for her. Just... me. Messy, flawed, barely-in-control me.

I glanced toward the small shower unit in the corner, already knowing it was the only way to cool down. Or at least pretend to. With a sigh, I stepped in, letting the hot water pour over me. The heat didn’t help, not really—it just made the ache in my chest worse. The memory of her smile, the way she looked at me, the way she wanted me back... it didn’t make sense. It didn’t feel real.

Emily was... everything. She was the girl I’d been chasing forever, the one I never thought I’d have a chance with. And now she liked me back? Liked me. What the hell was I supposed to do with that?

The water ran down my face, washing away the sweat and some of the intensity of the evening, but not enough. My thoughts were still spinning, tangled in a web of disbelief and longing and absolute chaos.

I'd always been good at reading people, even before the System came along and quantified everything. I could anticipate their moves, see the tells, figure out their angles. It was second nature, something that had kept me alive in more than a few tight spots when the portals first opened. It was why I was good at what I did, why I could make the hard calls, lead this crew. But with her? I was blind. How could I have missed how she felt for so long?

And talking to her? That was a whole different kind of minefield. Every conversation felt like I was one wrong word away from detonating something I couldn't fix. I'd stumble over my words, say the wrong thing, and then spend hours replaying it in my head, wondering how I'd managed to screw it up again.

I turned my face up to the spray, letting the water pound against my skin, trying to wash away the confusion. This was so different from anything I'd ever experienced. Delving portals, fighting monsters, even leading this damn mission - those things were simple in comparison. I was good under pressure, in the shit. I could make split-second decisions, keep a cool head when everyone else was panicking. That was easy. This... this was a whole different kind of challenge. This was Emily. And I was pretty sure my Willpower had deserted me the second she kissed me.

That night, my dreams were a blur of Emily—her freckles, the way her hair fell in those loose waves over her shoulders, the way she smiled at me like she knew exactly what she was doing. It was driving me insane. Every detail was so vivid, so real, it felt like she was right there, her body pressed against mine, her confidence pulling me in. I tossed and turned, her presence lingering in my mind like a drug I couldn’t quit, leaving me feeling like a mess. I hated her for it—for the way she could completely undo me—but God, I wanted her more than ever.

***

I woke up in the middle of the night and my body was drenched in sweat, the sheets tangled and clinging to me. My breath was ragged, my chest tight. It had only been a few hours since I’d kissed her, touched her, and already, the ache was unbearable.

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

The longing for Emily wasn’t just in my head—it was in my chest, my skin, my everything. It was frustrating and electric all at once, like a wire humming with too much current. The thought of pulling her into my bed right now, of walking to her room and kissing her until we both forgot where we were—it was tempting. Too tempting. And it scared the hell out of me.

I shoved the sheets aside, sitting up. The cabin was dark, the only light coming from the faint glow of the console. I pressed the heels of my hands against my eyes, trying to get a grip.

"This is insane," I muttered to myself, the sound rough in the quiet room.

I leaned back against the cool metal wall of my cabin, staring at the faint glow of the console across the room. This just happened. Everything had changed, and I didn’t even know where to begin. My brain was stuck on an endless loop of what the hell just happened and what the hell happens next. Sleep wasn’t happening—not with my thoughts spinning like this, and definitely not with the way my body still hummed from her touch. I was frustrated, restless, and already aching for the next time I could hold her again.

How was this supposed to work? Months of travel, living in these cramped quarters, with every second spent fighting this pull toward her. And the terrifying, unavoidable thought: What if I’m not good enough? Her legs, her breasts, her smile, her laugh. Her everything. It was perfect, and it was overwhelming, and I was completely screwed.

“Just one day at a time,” I muttered under my breath, running a hand through my damp hair. The words sounded so hollow, so lame. But it was the truth. It wasn’t going to be easy. I wasn’t naïve enough to think it would be. But for her? For us? Hell, it had to be worth it. She was always worth it. This is it, I told myself. No turning back.

I swung my legs over the side of the bed, the cold floor sending a jolt through me, grounding me. I stood, my legs a little shaky, and walked to the small sink in the corner of my cabin.

Looking at my reflection in the dimly lit mirror above the sink, I barely recognized the guy staring back at me. Eyes wide, hair a mess, a flush still high on his cheeks. I looked like I'd been through a war.

Splashing water on my face, I let the coolness chase away the lingering heat from my restless dreams. It helped, a little. Enough to clear my head, at least.

I glanced at the console, the digital clock flashing 06:00. Too early for breakfast, but too late to even think about going back to sleep. Besides, my mind was already racing, replaying every touch, every kiss, every whispered word from the night before.

Might as well get a head start on the day.

Pulling on a fresh uniform, I tried to ignore how the fabric reminded me of the way hers had felt under my hands. Focus, I told myself. Mission first. Everything else... later.

The ship's log was waiting for me on my laptop, a list of routine tasks that needed to be completed. Diagnostics, inventory checks, system updates. Boring, repetitive stuff. Usually, I'd delegate most of this to the crew, but today, I needed the distraction. Besides, this was where my System-granted skills came in handy.

My fingers moved automatically over the console, initiating the diagnostics. It wasn't magic, not really. Just an intuitive understanding of starship systems, a knack for how things worked. A passive skill I'd focused on since choosing the Captain class. It was like the System had given me a blueprint of the Triumph, and it had made learning the ship's intricacies a hell of a lot easier.

Other skills followed, like basic ship maintenance and power grid proficiency. Nothing flashy, like Danny's scientific class or Ryan's engineering skills, but essential. And they were mine. Then there was tactical navigation and systems integration. The ones that really mattered now. The ones that would keep us alive out here, millions of miles from home. These weren't about special abilities; they were about knowledge, experience, and making the right calls, even when there were no good options. Especially when there were no good options.

I took a deep breath, focusing on the tasks at hand. The familiar hum of the diagnostic scan filled the silence of my cabin. As the computer worked, I found myself thinking about her again. About us.

How had I gotten so lucky? To have someone like her, someone who understood me, even the messy, screwed-up parts? Someone who made me want to be better, not just for her, but for myself?

A small smile tugged at my lips. Maybe this whole captain thing wouldn't be so bad after all. As long as I had her by my side, I could handle anything. Even this.

The diagnostic finished, the results displayed on the console. Everything was green. Good. One less thing to worry about.

As I worked, my mind drifted back to the early days after the System arrived. The chaos, the fear, the uncertainty. We'd all been so young, so unprepared. But we'd learned. We'd adapted. We'd survived.

A sudden beep from the console pulled me back to the present. A reminder from the scheduling system. Breakfast in the mess hall in fifteen minutes.

Right. Time to face the music. And Emily.

I ran a hand through my hair, feeling a knot of anticipation in my stomach. It was just breakfast, I told myself. No big deal.

But as I headed for the door, I knew it wasn't just breakfast. It was the start of something new. Something terrifying. Something wonderful.

The door slid open, and I stepped out into the corridor, ready to face whatever the day - and Emily - had in store for me.