I skipped breakfast today so my parents wouldn’t get a good look at me, I just ate breakfast at school. As I was eating, someone sat next to me. I knew before she turned to look at me who she was, that red hair was unmistakable.
She looked at me, clearly excited about something, “You beat the crap out of Jason!” She exclaimed giddily. “The girl he was with was mortified. She said he practically pissed his pants and that you went all psycho, laughing like a crazy person.”
I couldn’t keep the grin off my face as that laugh echoed in my skull once more, bubbling in my chest as well, willing me to let it out.
Allison took notice, “That’s the smile that traumatized them! I love it!” She tried to get a look at my eyes.
I turned to make eye contact, knowing all too well how people react to seeing the darkness through my eyes. Now that I’ve let it out will people be able to look me in the eye? Or will it be worse? I extended my hand to her, “Call me Alex.”
She was making eye contact, hesitating. Then she smiled and shook my hand. “You have scary eyes, they give me chills.” She’d just said something that should hurt. Yet somehow, it was reassuring.
“Usually I can’t make eye contact with people for that reason. Even the guidance counselor couldn’t hold eye contact with me. She all but kicked me out.” I loosened my grip and slid my hand away.
Allison reached out and grabbed it again, “I think you’re a good person, just misunderstood. Sure, something about your eyes is a little scary, but for me, it’s like a challenge.” She said, determinedly looking from eye to eye.
My smile became genuine and the voice, the laughter, subsided. This was the second event that’d change my life. This one, for the better.
The seventh period bell rang and I made my way to class, only to see Allison sitting in the seat next to mine. She was wearing a teal colored hoodie that brought out her emerald eyes. She saw me and waved, I waved back and made my way over.
“Jason still hasn’t showed up. He’s probably too ashamed to show his face.” She giggled.
“Or he’s busy plotting his revenge.” I forced a laugh and took my seat beside her.
“Nope, we’re friends now, and I have a rule about not forcing behavior. Just. Be. You. Not who you think I’d want you to be.” She frowned as she admonished me, but then smiled sweetly. “What are you doing after school today? I told my parents I’d be hanging out with my friend, you, so I thought we could walk and talk.”
I shook my head a little. “Like I said, my parents are…strict. So I wouldn’t be able to talk very long. If they saw me walking with someone..” I didn’t finish my sentence.
Frowning, she poked my arm, not gently either “You’re holding back information on me.”
I hesitated, “I guess we’ll walk and talk, because I can’t say here. The walls have ears as they say.” I smiled.
She giggled, “It’s ‘The woods have eyes’ or ‘The hills have ears’. Or something like that at least.”
I nodded and pressed on, “Yeah yeah. Either way, we’ll talk about it after class, okay?”
She smiled, “Okay. Don’t forget though, and don’t lie to me. If you really don’t wanna talk, I can’t make you.”
I laughed, “I’m sure you wouldn’t let me forget, and with your black belts you probably could make me tell you.”
Injustice filled her face, “You don’t actually believe I’d hurt you. Do you?” She looked legitimately concerned.
“No. I was kidding, but you are the first person I’ve actually trusted in years. So please keep that in mind.” I flashed a sad smile.
“I guess this class is going to be a whole lot less boring now.” Allison said, smiling back.
As if on cue, the bell rang, indicating the start of class, and Mr. Jamie spoke up. “Okay,” He clapped his hands, “Another great day for learning from our predecessors’ mistakes, failures, and success. Alex, I hope you’ll be joining us today instead of treating this class like a nap period.”
The class started laughing. Only, it wasn’t just the class. It was the darkness in my mind echoing once more. That cruel smile resurfaced again and I looked up, straight into Mr. Jamie’s eyes, “Could you refrain from making comments that make the class laugh at me? I don’t feel comfortable being the center of attention.”
Mr. Jamie quickly looked away and cleared his throat, and apparently both the look on my face as well as my tone of voice shut everyone up. It felt good, great even.
Allison nudged me, “What just happened? All you did was speak and it gave me chills. The entire class stopped laughing too.” She whispered.
I turned to face her, allowing her to see the face that shut up one of the most talkative teachers in the school. “Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t fear me in the slightest.” I said evenly, but the dark undertone was unmistakable.
Allison looked from eye to eye before, without breaking eye contact, taking my hand. “You do scare me, kind of a lot if that makes sense, but that’s what I like about you, because even though you give off this terrifying pressure sometimes. I know you wouldn’t hurt me, or anyone else unless it’s in self defense.”
My smile slowly faded, then was replaced with a genuine one. “You’re kinda strange, you realize that right?” I squeezed her hand back.
“You’re telling me?” She took her hand back and nudged me with her elbow, “If I’m ‘kinda strange’ what does that make you?”
“Even stranger?” I replied before Mr. Jamie, who had been talking, cleared his throat. I raised my hands in surrender and we focused on the lesson for the remainder of class.
After the final bell rang I headed to homeroom once more, but instead of allowing me to disappear into the crowd again, Allison threaded her arm around mine, “We’re walking together, no using the crowd go get away this time.”
I just shook my head and let out a small laugh, “Careful. This looks dangerously like PDA, your reputation might drop down to mine.” I said, teasing.
She didn’t say anything in response. When I looked at her, she was looking away, hiding her face. She was blushing. I never had any experience with this kind of thing, so I just pretended not to notice. Despite my being socially ostracized, I wasn’t completely oblivious to this kind of thing. I had my suspicions when she kept holding my hand, but then again, she seemed to be very extraverted. So I thought that she might just be a clingy friend type. I’ve seen them before, leading their guy friends to think they’re interested accidentally. One good thing about being an outcast, nobody can manipulate your emotions.
We made it to my homeroom and I looked for my boots. There were boots under my coat, but not mine. “Those old boots didn’t seem like they’d be doing much for your feet, so I got you a new pair. Your old ones are over here in case you kept them for sentimental reasons.”
I stood there, stunned. “Why? What do you get from buying a student new boots? Besides, I can’t take them. If my parents sa-.” I slipped up. I quick glanced at Ms. Riken who was wordlessly urging me to finish my sentence.
When I didn’t, she replied, “If your parents saw? That’s what you were saying right?” She asked softly before walking to stand directly in front of me. “What would happen if they saw?”
Allison stood beside me, she was a little bit taller than me. Concern plastered onto her face. I stopped to regain my composure, “My parents are low income, the school probably has record of that. They have a rule of not taking handouts, with school lunch as an exception. They’d nag my ear off before demanding that I bring them back to you and apologize for the inconvenience.” I lied. After having to lie to teachers and guidance counselors for years, I’d become something of a professional.
Ms. Riken straightened, “Alright. Well, let me know if you change your mind.” she said with a too-sweet-smile. She knows. My earlier reaction, fear, had slipped out. No amount of lies could cover up the face of a child that fears their parents. Well, their beatings at least.
I put on my boots and coat and gloves before taking Allison’s hand, “See you tomorrow.” I said before calmly walking out of the room. We stayed silent until we were outside. “I’m screwed,” I muttered.
Her gloved hand gently squeezed mine, “Are your parents really that bad?” She asked, looking up at the cloudy sky.
I nodded, “I’ve never told anyone because they..” I hesitated. This was harder to say than I thought, “I doubt you paid much attention to me before recently, but have you ever seen me wear anything that exposed skin? Shorts, Tee shirt?”
Allison considered this before quickly coming to the realization, “You’re hiding bruises?” She asked in a defeated tone. “I’ve actually been wanting to talk to you for a long time now, you just seemed so unapproachable. So I should have noticed something. There were clear signs.”
I nodded, “My room isn’t even a room, it’s just in the center of the basement. My mattress is nasty and just lying on the floor. I can’t tell you how many times I woke up with something with eight or more legs crawling on my person. There’s mold in the corner too, surprised that hasn’t caused aspergillosis or something.” I paused, “That feels great to get off my chest.”
I was met with silence. While I was hoping that telling her this didn’t make her lose interest, she broke the silence, “I understand the fear, but what if you had told someone sooner? What might have happened?” She asked.
“Most likely? I’m sure there’d be a home visit, and my parents are mostly prepared for that. They have a spare room upstairs that they keep in a state that makes it look used. But even if they do find a reason to take me away, it would be what happens when they leave, before they can take me. That thought is what stops me.” I said, not looking at her, but the snowy path in front of us.
After another beat of silence, “I can talk to my mom about harboring you for a few days starting the day of the home visit.” She offered urgently, pulling me to a stop, forcing me to look at her.
I shook my head and smiled, “I appreciate it. I really do, but I won’t get my hopes up. Anytime I do, they get shattered. And it hurts. More than getting beat. I’d rather do what I know I can than hope for something I can’t get on my own.” I said while looking at the blindingly bright ground by our feet, my voice just above a whisper.
I looked up, but rather than looking her in the eyes I looked over her shoulder, “I’m already going to be late, I’ll see you tomorrow.” I slid my hand away from hers and turned to go home.
“W-wait, what’s your number so I can text you later?” Allison asked hurriedly, putting a hand on my shoulder to stop my advance home for a moment longer.
I turned my head a little, “Not to be rude, but really think about that question.” I shrugged off her hand and grabbed the arms of my backpack, steadying it so I could run the rest of the way and hopefully make it on time.
I jogged all the way without turning back. Even though I don’t have a phone, or a watch, I could tell I was late. “Fresh bruises, anyone?” I muttered to myself before opening the door.
Before I even got a foot past the threshold, I heard a familiar voice. I opened it more and my blood ran cold. I turned around and saw an unfamiliar car parked parallel to the house and one just behind that one. I hadn’t even noticed them.
I’m so screwed.
“Alex? Is that you?” Another voice called out. It was familiar, yet I couldn’t quite Identify who it belonged to. I opened the door the rest of the way and walked into the warmth of the house. Yet somehow I was colder than before.
I looked up after closing the door behind me and saw Ms. Lisa standing side by side with Ms. Riken. I stood stock still, afraid that if I moved the death glares I was getting from my parents would actually kill me.
“Why are you just standing there? Aren’t you warm?” Asked Ms. Riken in that too sweet tone.
The, ‘I’ll get to the bottom of this’ tone. I concluded as I took off my coat, gloves, hoodie, and boots before walking to take a seat at the kitchen table by my parents. “What are you two doing here?” I asked innocently. Even so, Ms. Lisa did everything in her power to avoid my eyes. Clearly she was forced to come along.
“Just another home visit, we just go down the list.” She looked from me to my parents, “So, mind if I get a small tour from Alex while Ms. Lisa talks to you two some more?” Ms. Riken asked.
Byron forced a smile, “Sure, I don’t see why not. Alexander, go ahead and show your teacher around.”
I nodded and stood up, gesturing to the room we were in, which had beer bottles strewn about, then pointing to my right I said, “We’re in the kitchen slash dining room at the moment obviously, then that’s the living room we weren’t expecting company so sorry it’s a little mess. Over this way-” I walked over to the guest room, opening the door. “This is my room, probably the cleanest one in the house.”
“I doubt that the beer bottles all over are your problem.” She whispered, then pointed, “Mind if I take a look around?”
I shook my head, “Not at all, feel free.” I pushed the door open more and gestured for her to enter. When she did, I followed behind her.
“So-” she walked up to the dresser and pointed to a middle drawer, “What’s in here?” She asked innocently.
Confused, I said, “Clothes.” But she shook her head, she wanted a more specific answer. I glanced at the door nervously before shrugging.
Ms. Riken came up to me and whispered in my ear, “Have you ever actually slept in this room.”
I hesitated before looking at the floor, shaking my head. I rubbed my arm, my bruises suddenly starting to bother me.
She put a hand on my wrist gently and one on my sleeve, then looked at me for consent.
I nodded.
She rolled up my sleeve to reveal several bruises on my arm, then mouthed, “More?”
I nodded and turned, lifting my shirt some. My back was full of bruises. I turned back showing bruises from my chest down. I dropped my shirt back down and whispered, “I never told anyone because I was afraid that they’d finally decide..” I stopped and walked out of the room. “And that concludes your tour.” I said, walking back to the kitchen.
She put a hand on my shoulder, “Thank you.” Then directed her attention back to Ms. Lisa, “Is everything set here?”
“Yeah, I just finished up here.” She said as she was putting her coat back on.
Ms. Rika nodded, “Did you cover Alex’s lack of social interactions at school and reluctance to join clubs?”
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“I have, yes. These two kind individuals said he has an early curfew and isn’t able to join.” She informed.
“Well, he has managed to make a friend.” She checked her phone, then smiled, “Would you mind if I dropped him off over there for a while since I’m out?” Ms. Riken asked.
“You say that like he’s some child, but whatever. As long as he gets a ride back from someone.” Byron said irritably.
“Understood,” She said before turning back to me, “Let’s go then shall we?” That wry smile on her face told me I might never have to come back here.
I nodded and proceeded to go pull on my boots, hoodie, and jacket. I shoved my gloves in my pocket. We all headed out the door and I got in the passenger seat of Ms. Riken’s car. “Where are we going?” I asked her.
“Before I answer that, check the back seat.” She said with a smile, gesturing to the center seat.
I turned around to see the boots she’d offered me earlier. I smiled a little, “Thank you. Sorry I didn’t accept them earlier.”
“I personally am glad you didn’t. If you had, you wouldn’t be in the car with me now.” She started up her car, “On that note, I contacted your friend Allison’s mother to see if you could stay over there for a bit after orchestrating that homevisit. She’d texted me while you and I were talking, said that if her daughter’s friend is in a bad situation at home, she wouldn’t mind taking you in for a spell.” Ms. Riken informed.
I thought for a moment, “Allison suggested I tell someone, she said her mom might ‘harbor me’.” I laughed a little.
“Like mother like daughter as they say. Allison is really kind, I’m glad you two have become friends.” She paused and glanced at me mischievously, “Although, the way she looks at you, and clings to you, makes me think there’s more to it than just friendship. Two lovebird students under the same roof because one needs a place to hide out from his parents. Doesn’t that sound interesting?” She teased.
Suddenly I felt something I’d never felt before. My heart started to race and sting a little, my face heated up. But my facial expression didn’t change. Instead, I looked at her, “Should a teacher really be insinuating such things?” I asked.
“Oh, I didn’t insinuate anything. Wherever your mind went, those were your own thoughts. Besides, I’m off duty.” She smirked.
My face burned and I found the floor under the dash to be very interesting all of a sudden.
“I hope this will bring the two of you closer, and allow you to open up to others more. I really do.” She said with compassion.
We pulled to a stop and Ms. Rika liberated her phone from her pocket and began typing. Shortly after, her phone dinged and she unbuckled. “Alright, you ready?”
I shook my head. “Probably not, but there’s not much of a choice.” I smiled nervously, unbuckling and stepping out of the car.
The front door of this unfamiliar house opened and I first noticed the locks of red hair, she looked like her but she wasn’t Allison.
The woman smiled, “You must be Alexander, I’ve heard so much about you in the span of only two days. Why don’t you come on in. Ms. Riken, feel free to join us.”
I turned to see her standing next to her open car door, engine still running, “I actually need to give a statement to CPS so they can get on this, then I have a lot of grading I’m getting behind on by the second so my schedule is pretty full.” She switched her focus to me. “But I’m sure Alex will feel right at home.”
“Alright, I won’t hold you any longer then.” Said the woman I could only assume to be Allison’s mother. Although, she could easily pass as her older sister. “Come on in then.” She waved, smiling.
I bid goodbye to Ms. Riken and started toward the redheaded woman, not making eye contact.
Taking notice, she put a hand on my shoulder once I reached her, “It’s a polite gesture to make eye contact.” She hooked a finger under my chin, “No matter what happened in that house, you have nothing to fear here.”
I allowed her to raise my chin until we were making eye contact. She frowned for a moment, then smiled, “I can see why my daughter is so infatuated with you. These unwavering eyes.” She paused, “You’re not afraid of making eye contact are you?” She released my chin and I maintained eye contact.
“No.. You seem too young to be called ma’am, how would you like to be addressed?” I asked.
She smiled brighter, “I didn’t think my impression of you could get any better. Just call me Mara, and back to the point. Your eyes scare others, so you don’t make eye contact with anyone. Hot or cold?” She inquired.
I smiled a little “Hot,” I said.
“Thanks, now let’s get you inside, it’s cold out here.”
I stood there, more than a little confused. “You set me up for that,” I said, laughing a little.
“And you stepped right into it,” She said holding the door, “Come on, I won’t bite.. Maybe.” She teased.
I walked in, shaking my head helplessly. Then I saw another redheaded woman turn a corner into the living room. She looked over and froze, then quickly made her way over.
“You came!” She exclaimed, clearly really excited. She took my hands and looked into my eyes, smiling.
“Ally, maybe give him a second to take off his coat and boots.” Mara chided.
Allison’s face flushed and she stepped back, clearing her throat. Her eyes drifted to the new boots I’d set down. “I see you accepted the boots Ms. Riken offered after all.”
“Well, I had no reason not to anymore. Considering she, your mom, and that scaredy cat counselor set up a home visit to expose my parents.” I said as I took off my jacket and boots.
She quickly shifted her gaze to her mother, “Homevisit? Wait, is he staying the night? It wouldn’t be safe for him to go back, would it?” She asked hurriedly.
Her mother gave a smug smile, “He can stay here as long as he needs. Ms. Riken is contacting CPS, so until then he’ll just be another runaway taking refuge at a friend’s house.”
After I hung my coat and turned back to Allison and smiled, “Only issue is, we told Byron I’d be back later so he wouldn’t be suspicious. Meaning I don’t have any clothes for tomorrow.” I rubbed my neck awkwardly.
“What are you? About five foot seven?” Mara appraised before continuing. When I nodded, she continued, “Zachary, Allison’s older brother moved away to college recently. He didn’t take all of his clothes. I’m sure they’ll fit you. You can also stay in his room for the time being.” Mara apprised.
“This is all so foreign to me. Most foreign of all is that I’m in a house where people don’t hate to even look at me.” I leaned against the wall.
“Well, have you ever played console games?” Allison asked me, her eyes practically had stars.
“No. There’s a lot I haven’t had the opportunity to try, but I’d like to.” I said solemnly.
She smiled before practically dragging me across the room before stopping, “Are you hungry? Thirsty?” She questioned.
I hesitated, feeling weird about asking for anything when they’re already letting me stay here for a while.
Sensing my hesitance, Mara stepped in, “I’ll make some snacks. What would you like to drink?”
“Water.” I said in a hardly audible voice, “I’m probably not well hydrated, you know?”
She smiled, “You two go have fun, I’ll get some snacks and water.” Then she turned and headed to the kitchen. Almost immediately, I was being dragged away again.
A few seconds later we were in a big, tidy room. Bigger than mine at least.
She spun on her heel to face me again. “Probably not as girly as you expected, huh?”
The walls were a regular white with the exception of some posters of famous martial artists, and one with some guy with a wand, glasses, and a zig zag on his forehead. “I did expect a little more pink, but this definitely seems more you. I like it.”
She blushed, then quickly moved to her TV stand where she had her console and controllers. She gestured to her bed, “You can sit down if you want.” She turned on the game system and then sat down,
I sat next to her, one question had been burning on my mind and I wasn’t sure if I should ask it.
Seeing my conflicted expression, she set a controller on my lap and then took my hand with her free one, “What’s wrong?” She asked, concerned.
After a beat of hesitance, I decided to ask, “Your father, is he around much?”
She smiled and averted her gaze to the floor, “Ah.” Then she looked at the TV, “He left when I was younger. We recently found out he died a couple of years back, I wanted to meet him again, but you know. He made his choice.” She said, her smile now solemn.
“Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.” I said quickly, taking my hand back and picking up the controller, “So what are we going to play?” I asked, not looking at her.
She scooted closer and rested her head on my shoulder. I stiffened, but didn’t move away, “I’m glad you cared enough to ask.”
My muscles relaxed and I was about to take her hand again when the door creaked open, “Hope I’m not interrupting something.” Mara chimed
Allison quickly shifted and sat straight as a sword. Her face flushed, “We were just talking about Dad.”
“I see.” Mara said, clearly noticing how she swung the conversation, “Well here’s your snacks and drinks.” She sat the plate of sandwiches and bottles of water on the table and headed back out the door, shutting it completely. Which surprised me. Was it trust? A hint? That woman is a living conundrum. I thought.
I refocused my attention back on Allison who was a little more relaxed, “What does she do for work?” I asked.
She turned to face me again, her composure completely returned with one question, “Oh, she’s a psychiatrist.”
I stopped to consider our interactions, “That explains a lot.” I paused for a moment, “If you don’t mind my asking, do you know what your dad did?”
She nodded, “Mom tells me he was a Neurosurgeon, a really good one at that.”
I scoffed, smiling, “Well that explains why you’re so smart. It’s in your genes.” I nudged her with my elbow.
She rolled her eyes, “If intelligence is genetic, your parents must be geniuses.”
That comment froze my smile, “As much as I’d love to talk down on Byron and Margret’s intelligence. They were smart enough to keep people from finding out they beat me. Smart enough to keep a spare room that looked lived in, allow me to eat two meals a day and shower to get the mold smell out of my hair. Everything they did in mock affection was just them covering their asses.” I fumed.
She winced, “You really hate them, huh? I can understand that I guess.” She said, now smiling again, “Come on, let’s eat and then play a shooter game.”
We played for a long time, we went against one another. I wasn’t very good at first, but once I got better, we played online. I was even worse then. “That was fun,” I said. The time on her console said it was nine and I was feeling it, “I’m kinda tired now.” I yawned.
“Yeah, it is getting late. I usually spend an hour reading and go to bed at ten.” Allison said.
I smiled, “Byron always started something around ten, so I always went to sleep before they started yelling.” I stood up. “I’ll leave you to your reading then.” As I was about to open the door, a pair of arms wrapped around my waist.
“I’m glad you’re here. Also-” She patted my stomach, “You have abs?” She asked, her head still resting on my back.
“I’m glad to be here, and yeah. There wasn’t much to do down there in the basement.” I turned in her embrace to face her, “We’ve only been friends for two days, yet you cling to me every chance you get.” I put my hands on her waist, “Why?” I asked. She flushed and started to pull away, but I gently pulled her back, “It’s not a bad thing, I just want to know. I need to know.” I searched her eyes. My heart racing, stinging.
She pulled herself closer into my arms, she was a little taller than me, but it wasn’t bad, “I don’t know, I just want to be close to you. Most people are afraid to take what they want, but I’m not.” She searched my eyes as well, “That look in your eyes. They’ve seen so much pain and exude darkness, yet beyond that, they hold so much knowledge and compassion. Kindness.” She said, then a second later, she was kissing me.
Stunned, I stood wide-eyed for a moment before allowing myself to be consumed by this feeling in my chest. We kissed for what felt like forever. I had to pry myself away, “Isn’t this going kind of fast?” I asked, still holding her.
She smiled, “The rest of society already looks down on us, why try to appeal to them now?” She landed another peck on my lips and backed away, “If you need space, we can take it slower.” A sad glint in her eye told me she didn’t want that though.
I shook my head, “It’s okay, but there’s a line we can’t cross yet, and I’m sure you know what I’m talking about.” I placed a hand on her cheek.
She nodded and laughed a little, “Yeah, I know. I’m not the type to give myself up easily.”
My face burned, “R-Right. Sorry, I didn’t mean to insinuate that. It’s just, this is already moving quickly so-.”
“I know, don’t worry about it,” She interrupted, flustered. Her face still flushed.
I nodded again and shifted away from the door before opening it. Once it was open, I jumped, “God! Um, how long have you been standing there?” I asked Mara who was on the other side of the door.
“Oh not long, I was just about to knock when the door opened,” She smiled innocently.
I looked at Allison and opened the door the rest of the way so she could see, “Is your mom alway like this?”
She nodded, her face beet red, “She’s a big gossip, she probably heard everything.”
I tapped my finger on the wall for a moment, thinking, “The look on your face when you lie is worth a million words. One would think a psychiatrist would be a better liar.” I jabbed.
“Ouch.” She put a hand over her heart in an exaggerated motion, “In my defense, it’s not my job to lie to people.”
“Fair enough,” I said, “Well, since you heard everything. Do you approve?” I asked, heart pounding.
A wry smile appeared on her face, “Look at you being bold all of a sudden. I was looking forward to keeping you for myself.”
“Mom!” Allison interjected before chasing her away from the room. Her mother on the other hand was giggling like a child.
Mara turned around and caught Allison in a bear hug, “Of course I approve. Alex could scare away all the improper guys who would dare approach my dear daughter.”
“Suffocating,” Allison breathed, squirming out of her embrace, “Speaking of scare, you don’t get scared like everyone else when you make eye contact with him? He told me that even the school guidance counselor couldn’t maintain eye contact,” She questioned.
Her mom shrugged, “There’s more to see than just darkness in his eyes, and I see it.” She explained.
Allison smiled, “I guess that’s genetic too then,” She turned to look at me, her eyes meeting mine.
I cleared my throat, “Um, where’s the bathroom?” I asked. I’d had to go for a while, but we were having fun. So I just waited.
“Oh,” Allison pointed, “It’s that door right there,” She said, eyes still searching mine as if they held the secrets of the universe.
“Thanks, I’ll be going to bed after, have fun reading. If you’re still going to do that.”
“Alright, the room is ready for you so go ahead. One of us will wake you up for school tomorrow if you’re not already awake.” Said Mara, rubbing Allison’s shoulder.
I smiled and headed into the bathroom. It was big, bigger than I’d expected. Nice too. After I was relieved and washed my hands, I was about to go into the bedroom. Then I stopped and turned, “Goodnight.” I said. My voice nothing but a whisper.
A sad smile flashed across Allison’s face while Mara smiled knowingly, “Goodnight, Alex.” They both said, knowing I’d probably only ever heard those words once, if that.
I allowed a small smile to pull at the corners of my lips, then went into the dark bedroom, closing the door behind me. I kept the lights off. I’d, for the most part, learned to get around in dark spaces. I saw that on the chair, there were a pair of pajamas. I changed into them, then displaced the blanket on the bed and crawled under them, covering up. The bed was so soft. So soft, yet uncomfortable.
I laid there, tossing and turning for thirty minutes before getting up. I took the blanket and laid down on the carpeted floor next to the bed. No pillow, just the blanket. I was asleep in minutes.
In the dark, the door creaked, jolting me awake. I eyed it, waiting. Then Allison popped her head into the room.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to.. Wake you. I just couldn’t sleep and wanted to check on you, that said. Why are you on the floor?” She whispered.
I rested my head back on the floor for a second before sitting up, “The bed was too…different.” I told her.
Even through the dark I could see the conflicted expression on her face. She came in and closed the door. Now that she was in the room, I could see that she was wearing white shorts and a Tee. I blinked away my thoughts and looked at the wall.
Allison sat next to me, “You must be a really light sleeper.” She smiled, “Either that or just on edge.” She took my hand again.
I shook my head, “All my life, I’ve slept through yelling from above. The only time I would wake up is when the space I was occupying was invaded. For me, it usually meant danger. I was about to be beat. So the door creaking just set off my alarms, that’s all.” I explained, sleepily, “Normally I can’t sleep after, too alert, but somehow my alarms shut down already.”
Allison turned and put a hand on either side of me, looking into my eyes, “Is that your way of telling me you’re tired and you want me to leave?” She asked in an intimidating tone.
I narrowed my eyes for a moment, then smiled, “Is that your way of telling me you don’t want to?”
She couldn’t hold the serious look on her face and began to crack up, putting her forehead to mine, “You looked so serious for a second. I almost thought you were mad.”
“I could say the same to you,” I leaned back onto the floor, “I can see why Jason stood down when you confronted him.”
Allison, who was still over me, lowered herself onto my chest, “I can be very…” She put her lips up to my ear. “persuasive.” She continued mischievously.
“I see that,” I said before wrapping my arms around her, “Can we sleep now?” I asked.
She giggled, “Yeah, but we have to sleep like this.” Allison shifted into a more comfortable sleeping position, her head still on my chest, her leg forward, on top of mine.
Holding her close, I said, “I never expected to be with someone. Much less spending the night together cuddling.”
She rubbed a thumb across my chest idly, “With a face like yours? I was surprised girls weren’t flocking around you.”
“Well, with my disposition they all decided to keep their distance. Although, I still do see the occasional glance in my direction with more curiosity than fear in their eyes.” I explained.
Her thumb stopped moving, “Well now it’s too late, they’ll have to keep appreciating you from a distance.” She said sweetly, but it was impossible to miss the underlying threat in her tone.
I put an arm behind my head and rubbed her back with the other one as I tried to put aside my thoughts. Thoughts of how her body was pressed up against mine. Her revealing pajamas allowing me to feel all her curves, “I believe in this situation I’m supposed to say something along the lines of, ‘You’re really hot’. Or maybe that’s supposed to stay in my head.” She could probably hear, feel even, my heart beating faster.
“Honestly, I’m not well versed in these situations either. So I’ll just respond this way.” She moved up and kissed my neck. Several times even, which was even hotter. Then she kissed my cheek all the way up to the corner of my lips before stopping and putting a hand on my cheek, smiling in the dark.
I mirrored the motion and leaned forward, propping myself up on an elbow, meeting her lips with my own. A clumsy, yet passionate kiss that lasted for only a few seconds before she broke away, giggling.
“Bedtime, for real now. You filled my attention meter for now, but I’ll be sure to let you know before it drops to a dangerous level.” She lowered herself back down.
I lowered along with her, “Why? What happens when it’s dangerously low?” I teased.
She giggled more, “I might just make out with you in the middle of class, or in front of my mom.”
I tensed, sensing that she wasn’t joking, “Alright, I get it. I’ll do my best to fulfill my duties.”
“Good,” She said, getting comfortable again, “Goodnight, I hope we have lots more ‘goodnights’ like this.”
I smiled, “Yeah, me too. Goodnight, Ally.” Before I’d realize it, I’d given her a nickname, but she either didn’t oppose it, or already fell asleep. And I followed suit shortly after.