Note to self - the next time your crush invites you over to her place after school, it's probably best not to bring along a creepy ancient half mask!
I thought it was going to be a nice, normal night. Like maybe we eat some food, watch a movie, and then after I confess my undying love to her - you know, normal. I did not expect to end the date running barefoot and soaking wet down a very picturesque lakeside. All while being chased by an army of shadows and rich suburbanites. Although, the girl in question was Heather, so I guess I didn't really have a choice.
So, how did I end up in this particular predicament you ask? I know, I know it's a cliche way to start a book. It is also a really stupid question because why on earth would you be reading if you didn't want to know? Well, it's a super long story - you probably won't get your answer until chapter...uh...4? So, skip ahead if you really can't wait that long.
Oh, you're still here. Good. That was a lie! You passed my little test; I guess that means you're a true person of integrity. Good thing too because I am about to bear my very soul to you. My deepest, darkest secrets that even my guidance counselor mom doesn't know about. I'm about to share that with you, the random person reading this book. So lucky you, I guess. Now, without further ado, I'll shut up and get to the story.
It all began one Thursday afternoon, in the worst hell ever known to man or womankind - Gym Class.
We had our state required, high school gym teacher enforced, yearly fitness test. Typically, I avoid gym class - running around showing off my impressive lack of athleticism - no thank you. I had a plan: I would fake a text from my mom calling me down to her office, be dismissed, and as soon as Coach Hudge was out of sight, I would sneak off and hide out in the bathroom until class was over. This, believe it or not, usually worked like a charm, but today was just not my day.
My mom had her hands full with...ah whatever, it's not important. The point is she was busy. I couldn't use my excuse and Hudge knew it. That's how I ended up crying, clinging for dear life on a rope suspended 20 feet in the air. It was not my finest moment, but it gets worse - oh, so much worse.
After thoroughly embarrassing myself, the strangest thing happened. I, Deshawn Dale. Skinny black boy with a zitty face Deshawn Dale. Anime loving, DnD playing, World of Warcraft level 60 Paladin rocking Deshawn Dale. Yes, I was approached by Heather Olivia Turner, the prettiest girl in St. Vincent high school.
Heather's been the most beautiful girl in our grade. But I've known & liked her since the fifth grade, before she became super pretty - so ha, I win. We used to be close back then – actually, close is an understatement - we were best friends. However, after her dad's crypto something business took off, she moved away, and our friendship fizzled.
The next time I saw her - at freshman orientation - I almost didn't recognize her. Her once wild black hair now fell to her shoulder in tamed curls. She had traded her thick-rimmed glasses for a pair of contacts, so now her eyes, the same color as her cocoa brown skin, were visible for all to get lost in. I would go on, but I don't want to bore you with the details. Let's just say she simply looked amazing, like a princess - like Tiana from the Princess and the Frog movie.
I had always thought Heather was cute, but now it seemed that everyone else thought so too. Soon the guys at St. Vincent began to call her by her initials - H.O.T. Her sudden new appearance, plus her family's latest tax bracket and zip code, equaled instant popularity.
So, I was more than surprised when she walked up to me and punched my shoulder like she would when we were younger.
"Oh my god. You're still freaking funny DD," she started. "The way you cried, 'somebody come save me, please I don't want to die up here. Please.' Classic! And I could have sworn that you were actually crying up there. Fantastic acting." She laughed in that cute half snort; half chuckle way that made all the guys go crazy.
"Haha yeah, acting," I lied. Thank god for my dark complexion because my face would have been beyond beet red. "That's me, Deshawn the Clown."
"Turner the Burner and Quincy," she said as she assumed her Turner the Burner hero pose. "The Tri-legion are on the hunt, so evil-doers beware," she finished with a smile.
All I could think as I watched her was - wow, how geeky. But I was glad she still remembered. The Tri-legion was a superhero group we created with my older brother back in elementary school. Heather was Turner the Burner - a heroine with the ability to produce and shoot out intense burning flames. I was Deshawn the Clown - a hero who made my enemies underestimate me before defeating them with my assortment of tools, weapons, and wacky gadgets I'd pull out of my 'hammerspace.' Quincy was just Quincy. He was our brilliant leader and defended our backs from a distance as a deadly sniper who could fire lasers that disintegrated everything.
"You remembered," I said, probably grinning like an idiot.
"Of course, I did. It was so fun hanging out with you guys. Remember the time Chandler captured Quincy and we had to save him?"
"Yeah, who knew he would be our toughest enemy. For a sweet little puppy, he was surprisingly villainous."
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"Right!?" she laughed. "That's where you got your 'please save me' line, remember? That's what Quincy said when we finally broke into my dog's 'lair.' He was hanging upside down on the monkey bars as he said those same lines."
I didn’t know he had said that; I guess I forgot.
"Classic!" she said again wistfully. "Dang, I've missed you guys! How's our fearless leader doing? I haven't seen him in a while."
"Quincy's fine. He graduated early, so that's probably why you haven't seen him around. He got into a program that gave him a full scholarship and paid for him to take a gap year and travel the world."
"Whoa, really," Heather said, shocked. "That's so cool, but I'm not surprised - our leader is a genius. It's been so long since we talked Deshawn. I feel like I don't know what's going on with you guys anymore."
"Yeah, I can relate."
Her face fell for a moment, then she suddenly perked up again. "Oh, I know; how about you come over to my place tonight? We could catch up and hang out like the good old days," she suggested unexpectedly.
Everyone watching was stunned silent.
I could feel my sidekicks Buster and June glaring jealously at me. They hate it when I call them that; I guess they will hate me even more now.
When the hottest girl in school invites you to her place, in front of everyone, you gotta think fast. I knew what I had to do. I had to play it cool; no, I had to be cool. I had to accept Heather’s invitation without looking like the love-struck puppy I am.
"Yeah, sounds like fun," I said while attempting to lean against the door. Unfortunately, it was at that moment Coach Hudge decided to check in on us. I failed to catch myself in time, and I fell sideways into his office.
Nailed it!
"What on earth are you doing, Dale?" Coach yelled as he stared down at me.
"Would you believe that I was practicing my push-ups," I said. I rolled over and began busting out push-ups. By my fifth, I was winded. "See coach. Perfect. Physical. Specimen," I wheezed before I collapsed, sprawled out on the ground.
"Hit the showers," Coach Hudge said as he slammed his door shut again.
Heather laughed as she helped me up. "I know it's a bit short notice, but I'm sure my folks won't mind. Actually, they'd love to see you again."
"Whoa, I haven't seen Mr. & Dr. Turner in a while. It'll be nice to see how those two are doing."
"Sweet. It's settled then you, me, my place at 7 o'clock. Prepare to get your butt handed to you in Smash Bros. I haven't played in a while, but I'm still undefeated with Ike."
"That's because you're a spammer. You can't just Up B until you win. That's cheating."
"That's winning. You should give it a try one of these days." She laughed.
Our chat was cut short when a shrill, very annoying voice said. "Heather, hurry up. We're going to be late."
"Yeah, I'm on my way," Heather called back as she turned and walked towards the girls' locker room, where her friends waited in a cluster around the entrance. When she reached them, Zoe, one of her Greenhill friends - the mean one - glared at me.
"Why do you still talk to that loser," I heard her ask Heather.
Technically, it isn't eavesdropping when the person speaking makes sure to say the word 'loser' at an annoyingly loud volume.
"Zoe, be nice. He's not a loser. He's an old friend," Heather calmly corrected her.
Zoe glared at me once again. Her cold eyes gave me a once over before sneering. "Yikes. Wait till Derek hears about you inviting Deshawn over tonight. He's going to freak."
"I can invite whoever I want over. It's my house," Heather said. "Plus, Derek and I are on a break, so who cares what he thinks."
"Yeah Zoe," Amanda said. She was another one of Heather's Greenhill friends - the less mean one. "Heather and Derek are on a break, so I guess it's ok. It's not like she's going behind Derek's back or anything."
"Well, whatever. I guess it's none of my business," Zoe said.
"Yeah, not really," Heather smiled.
Zoe shot me one last glare before storming into the locker room. Amanda followed her inside.
"See you at 7 DD. No, Deshawn the Clown," Heather said. She waved and gave me a warm smile before disappearing into the locker room as well.
I smiled and waved back. My hand was still raised when the sidekicks came running over.
"Dude, what the hell was that about?" Buster said.
"What was what?" I asked coyly.
"Bruh," Buster said. "H.O.T just asked you out in front of everyone. My man," he said as he high-fived my still raised hand. It seemed like they weren't mad; I could have sworn that they'd be jealous.
"But bro, your response was weak. 'Yeah, sounds like fun,'" June teased. At the same time, Buster reenacted my failed door lean routine. Maybe they were jealous after all.
"It worked. Didn't it," I said.
Still laughing, they nodded.
"Weren't you and H.O.T like best friends back in the day?" June asked.
"Yeah, and she dumped your sorry butt when we started high school," Buster added.
"It's not like that," I said. "She's not like that."
"Wow," Buster said as he closed his eyes and held his hand out to me. He knitted his brow like he was sensing something in the air around me. "Ah, the Simp is strong with this one."
"Yeah," June agreed, copying Buster's actions. "Although, I see dark premonitions in this poor Simp's future. A cringy love confession followed by the most brutal of rejections. Yes, dark omens indeed."
Yep, they were definitely jealous.
"Whatever," I snapped. "Let's get changed before we miss our next class."
As soon as I had finished, the bell that signaled the end of gym class rang, and we booked it for the locker room.