"I, I gots to see the missus," said Hardhat. "She’s cooking toad in the hole. Can’t ever manage to crack the eggs right. Always ends up with half the shell in the batter, the poor love, so I gots to be there to crack ‘em for her, you see? And, we were halfway through season 3 of Cheeky Magic, and she promised not to watch ahead without me during the day, so you see, I’ve really GOT TO BE HOME—"

She hugged him, tight, a hug born from empathy in disastrous times. The kind of hug that said, ‘I know what you’re going through,’ when going out and saying it would be too much.

"And," he said, his voice cracking, looking for footing but not finding it, "I never repainted… the toilet…"

He sobbed in her arms.

"There’s a reason they respect me here," she said. "I’m the only one to pass Lord Assam’s test."

Hardhat looked up at her under an ocean of tears.

"After I passed, he brought me to a set of stairs," she said. "And I asked where the ones leading up were. You know what he said? ‘You can only go down.’"

"And you believed him?" he asked. "The young’un could’ve been right. That’s it. He must have tricked you."

"Assam wouldn’t lie. You’d understand if you met him." She blushed slightly, let him go, then swept a hand through her sopping wet hair.

"Alright," sniffled Hardhat. "Next question. Have you seen two blokes walking about here in the buff?"

Derek-Derek trudged through the fields. Leaves clung to his leg as he brushed them aside, painting him with thick layers of water. The workers had all rushed inside to light their candles under shelter--flickering warm islands that struck back against the darkness, and the cold. The knight strode past them, through the sheets of rain, never once taking his gaze off his destination--that palace on the hill.

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"Hey!" A man put up an umbrella and burst out of a hut’s doorway. "New guy, right? What the hell are you wandering around for in weather like this?"

Derek-Derek turned in his direction, though it wasn’t clear whether he was paying attention through his sunglasses. He gestured with the poleaxe to the palace.

"That is the residence of Lord Assam, isn’t it? I thank you in advance for the information, noble townsperson!"

The man swallowed and sized Derek-Derek up until his umbrella sprang a leak. He reluctantly nodded. "No need to rush into your trial, you’ll catch cold out here. The name’s Table. Listen, me and a buncha guys are playing a round o’ poker. Whaddya say to joining us? The blinds are pretty low, we’re only in it to have a laugh and all that, so if that interests you, you’d be mighty welcome… hey, wait up!"

Table jogged a hundred meters to catch up with the knight. They both looked as if they’d spent an all-inclusive cruise inside a washing machine.

"Sorry," said Derek-Derek. He mumbled something else, but it was drowned out by the rainfall.

"I get it," said Table. He patched up the umbrella’s hole with some masking tape, but wasn’t looking where he was going and plunged into a knee height puddle. He yelped.

Derek-Derek hoisted him out, then plodded on without a word.

"Hey, thanks!" called Table. "There’s a lot deeper than that in the valley. Won’t you at least take this with ya?" The umbrella buffeted in the wind.

"A Barden Knight fears not the elements!" said Derek-Derek, shivering. "Mr. Table, please enjoy your poker night without me! I will be back soon with news of your liberation!"

"Liberation?" asked Table.

But the knight had already blurred into the distance.

Thais huddled into herself because in the cool darkness of the palace, there wasn’t much else to cuddle. At the first strike of lightning, Juliette had rushed to the circuit breaker and cut the power which meant no heating, no lights, and no online friends. Leaks sprung throughout the tiled roof, running off hidden wooden beams in the ceiling. The call and response of pitter patters off the floor sounded like a disorganised marching band, and smelled about as damp as a disorganised marching band.

Juliette hobbled into the large hall, carrying two flickering lanterns.

"Here." She gave one to her apprentice. "I got a bad feeling in my bones about tonight."

Thais held up the lantern to dispel some of the creeping shadows on the wall. More shadows crept around her feet like ants on a picnic rug.