"I'm sorry, I can't be with you..." Selena said to me apologetically. She looked at me pitifully as if I was a beggar asking for money on the streets.
'I thought that this would be the day, this would be the day that I'd be able to find someone who'd love me the way that I'd love them. But I was wrong...
All girls are the same.
I thought she was different. I thought she was special. A swan amongst ducks. Well, maybe she was? And I'm just a toad lusting over the flesh of a swan. Is appearance really that important? Is being handsome and ugly really that important? Am I really that easy to dispose of just because I'm ugly?' Joe thought to himself as he stared at Selena's beautiful face.
Selena is the number one beauty in his school. Someone that is admired by thousands. She has long black hair, white skin and shining blue eyes. A top notcher in her class.
"Ah..." Joe breathed heavily.
"It's okay. Hehe, I kind of expected it anyways..." Joe said as he dragged his frail body.
Joe is a 5'7 guy with average looks, average intelligence and average physique. His skin color looked like bronze. His hair is black. Joe's face was filled with acne and he had eye bags. He's the most average person you'll ever meet in your lifetime. He has no friends. Lives alone and has no one in his life that loves him. Back when he was a kid, he was constantly beat up by his step-father and his mother didn't care about him at all as he was the embodiment of the person who had raped her. He's 17 years old, turning 18 in a few days. He left his home when he was 10 years old and had to walk through the dark streets, alone and hungry.
Selena looked at him and when he was gone, she laughed.
"What a fool! He wants to court me? With his appearance? With his status? Is he that stupid?" She said to himself while she thought of Joe with disdain.
Joe didn't return to his classroom after that. He directly went home with empty eyes and a soulless body.
"Why?! Why is it like this! Why was I born this way? Fuck! Fuck everything! Fuck myself!" He screamed as he banged his head towards the door repeatedly until blood eventually appeared from his forehead.
He cried but not from the pain that he felt from the wound. But from the pain that he felt inside his heart.
"I'm too tired of this life. Can I just kill myself and get this over with? Why do I have to live through this endless nightmare?!" Joe said bitterly as he let the blood flow from his forehead.
"I want to die..." Joe said. He took a chair and a rope. He tied it to the ceiling and to his neck tightly.
He resolutely looked at the world as memories of the past 16 years appeared in his eyes.
"At least I can end it now right?" Joe said with a relieved smile. He kicked the chair and his feet dangled in the air. His eyes looked like they were about to pop out as his body was slowly losing oxygen. But he didn't struggle. He just wanted life to be over with...
"Joe? Are you there?" An aged voice sounded out with a knock.
Joe saw the door opened. But this was the only thing that he saw before he lost consciousness.
"Joe!" The aged voice called out. This was his neighbor. Someone who lived next to him. Joe often assisted her with her necessities as she too, lived alone. He would often accompany her when she's alone and even cook for her.
"Joe... Why do you keep doing this to yourself?" Jul said teary eyed as she rushed over to Joe and lifted him up to give him some air.
...
"Joe... Hang in there please" Jul said as she held Joe's hand tightly. They were now in a hospital. Joe lost consciousness so she quickly called the hospital. Fortunately, there were people who were close in the vacinity. They helped Jul drive Joe to the hospital.
"Is this that kid from before?"
"Yeah he is."
"Hahaha why doesn't he die already? He's pitiful"
Jul heard this and her old heart crumbled but didn't say anything.
Joe was put in a private room and Jul has kept him company for five hours now. He still hasn't woken up.
"Joe... Why do you have to put yourself through this?" Jul said as she looked at Joe's face.
"I have known you for a few years now. You are like a child to me Joe. You're going to give me a heart attack if something like this happens again" She talked to Joe even though she knew that he was unconscious.
"Is this how death feels? This is quite refreshing" Joe thought to himself as he looked at the darkness.
"It sucks... It's unfair. Why wasn't I born with good looks and money? Why wasn't I blessed with parents who care?'"
"And why does this world base everything on looks? Well, I'm not one to talk since I fell in love with the number one beauty in the campus hahaha"
'oh well, at least its over now. Ican rest and sleep for eternity'
"Child..." He heard the voice of Jul.
"Granny Jul? Why do I hear her voice?" He said in his mind.
"Oh right, didn't she appear when i was about to die?"
"Please wake up. Don't leave granny all alone..." Jul's voice echoed out in his mind.
His heart ached and he suddenly felt an urge to live. Memories of the times when he helped the old granny with miscellainious stuff flashed through his mind.
"Who will cook for Granny Jul if I'm gone? She's all alone..."
"I'm so pathetic. I shouldn't have tried to commit suicide. Even if it's just for Granny Jul... I should've tried to live. She's the closest thing to family that I've got right now." He said to himself bitterly.
He urged his body to move.
"You gotta move Joe!" He cried out loud as he began to regain consciousness. First, he moved his fingers and then, his eyes snapped open!
An old woman appeared in his line of sight. The old woman looked to be in her late 60s. She had white hair and wrinkles all over her body. But what pained him the most was that the old woman was crying. This was his Granny Jul.
"Granny Jul..." He muttered slowly.
Jul stopped crying as she wiped the tears off of her face. "Child... You're awake" Jul said with a smile on her face.
"Why would you ever try to commit suicide for the third time child?" Granny Jul asked.
"Granny, please don't cry anymore" Joe answered.
"Child, answer my question. Please don't make me worry so much. I'm old. I might die soon after if you died before me. " She replied.
Joe realized that there was no other way fo escape the situation. So he came clean.
"I'm sorry Granny Jul. I'm just too tired of being criticized, rejected, disdained and even abandoned by my own flesh and blood."
"I'm sick of this world! I'm sick of my situation! And I hate myself for being powerless to turn the tables around." Joe said.
Granny Jul caressed his head and asked, "Do you really want to become something much more than what you are now?"
"Who wouldn't want that? But ah. I can't. I can't change the way that I'm born. Nor can I obtain love that I deserve to have." Joe replied blandly.
Granny Jul shook her head.
"Life is cruel like this child. But what option do we have other than to live with it? My children left me for a few decades now yet I'm still alive and kicking. It's because they're just setbacks my child. It is up to you if you give up or face the challenge and become much stronger." Granny Jul said.
Joe looked at her meaningfully and sighed but he didn't answer.
'I'd rather die than spend another second in this hellhole of a world.' he thought to himself.
A few days after this incident, Joe was discharged from the hospital.
...
The weather was sunny and the sky was blue. It was a very beautiful day. People were walking to and fro in the streets with mostly smiles on their faces.
"Hey I heard that someone from our school tried to commit suicide" a girl with brown hair said.
"Really? Do you know who it is?" Another girl said.
"I think he's a senior high student called Joe I think?" The girl with brown hair replied.
Suddenly, a handsome man passed by. The man was about six feet in height. His skin color was light and there were no freckles on his skin. His hair was pitch black but his eyes were blue like the sky above them. His hands were long and he was wearing a uniform that looked exactly like the uniform that the girls wore. But it was for males. He looked to be about 17 years old.
"Look! He's so handsome!" The girl with brown hair cried out as she looked at the back of that man flirtatiously.
"Wait, he's wearing the uniform that the boys of our school wears. Is he an exchange student?" The friend of that girl asked.
"Hmm? Oh yes he does! Come on! Let's follow him!" The girl with brown hair excitedly said.
The duo acted like stalkers as they slowly maintained a five meter distance away from the handsome man.
This continued on for a few minutes.
"Ugh, he's so charming and handsome and dreamy!" The friend of that brown haired girl said.
'If I can be his girlfriend that would be fantastic!' the girl thought to herself.
She looked at her friend insecuredly and thought to herself, 'I'm much more beautiful than her right???'
"Ouch!" Her daydreaming was stopped because she felt like she hit another person. Her friend, the brown haired girl was too focused on the handsome man. Thus, she didn't see that there was another person in front of them. This caused her friend to bump into that person.
"Hey are you okay?!" The brown haired girl asked her friend.
"Watch where you're going!" The one who bumped into that person said.
The duo looked at that person and they both felt disgust. The person's skin was black and had acne all over his face! What an exceedingly ugly man! This person was naturally Joe. Even the way he dressed was disgusting as his collar was covering his whole neck.
"Ew get away from me!" The one who bumped into Joe yelled in disgust. She pushed Joe away like he was some disease. Like he was a person that could infect them with a lethal virus. Like he was trash that was riddled with feces and vomit.
"What the fuck?! Why did you fucking bump into me you disgusting freak!!??" The girl who bumped into Joe said as she looked at Joe with pure disgust in her eyes.
"Oh my god! Look at his face! It's full of pimples! Ack! I feel like I want to vomit!" The brown haired girl said as she stepped a few steps away from Joe.
"He probably intentionally bumped with you to gain your attention yuck!" The brown haired girl continued.
Joe looked at the two of them while rubbing his head. Joe and that girl bumped into each other's heads. It was painful but what he heard from these two made him wished he was dead. Made him want to feel like dying. He wasn't a crybaby. But he kinda expected that this was coming. He could only smile bitterly and apologize to the young lady.
"Fuck! What a creep! He's even smiling!" The girl who bumped into Joe said.
"Get away from me you freak!" She said while crossing the road with her friend.
"Come on! Hurry up! That handsome guy is nowhere! Ah fuck! It's all because of that disgusting creep" the brown haired girl left a comment right before they left.
Joe stopped in his tracks. He felt pain and sorrow well up in his heart and mind again.
'I guess that's expected...' He thought to himself.
He looked at the pedestrian lane soullessly. The traffic sign showed that they shouldn't cross or else they would get ran over by a car.
Dozens of cars were speedily passing by. He looked at them and thought to himself,
'Is this life really worth living? Is this really worth the pain? Even if I care about Granny Jul... I just can't take anymore of this pain.' He thought to himself bitterly.
He slowly moved his right leg.
'If I get ran over by a car, it would hurt but at least I'll die right?? At least I'll be done with this living hell?'
He slowly walked towards the start of the pedestrian lane. Not looking if there were any cars that would pass by as he had no intention of dodging this time.
But just when he was about to walk a bit further, he felt a pull on his right wrist. It was very gentle yet forceful.
'Huh?'
He turned around and saw a beautiful young lady wearing the same uniform as those other two girls from before holding his wrist.
"Why are you trying to kill yourself?!" The beautiful girl shouted at him. The girl was only 5'5 in height. She had dark hair and white skin. Her hair was tied up. She wasn't that chubby but wasn't that skinny either. Her eyes were a bit moist. Her pupils black in color. She was very beautiful. Not even inferior to Selena.
"Ah" he replied absentmindedly.
He didn't know what to say. He was prepared to die. But he didn't. And now there was a pretty lady in front of him. What was he supposed to say?
"Why aren't you answering me?!" The girl said as she wiped her eyes. Her grip on Joe's hands growing ever stronger.
He finally woke up from his daze.
"Is that a wrong thing to do?" He asked bitterly.
The girl tightened her grip on his wrist even more.
"Are you nuts?! Of course it is! Why would you even think like that?!" She said angrily.
Joe didn't reply but only looked at her bitterly. He knew better than to rant to a stranger.
He slowly grabbed the girl's hand and then took it away from his wrist.
"He-hey! What are you trying to do?!" The girl cried out in surprise. She had never held hands with a guy except for her own father! She blushed slightly.
Joe didn't notice this. He let go of the girl's hand and then quickly took a bottle of alcohol from his bag.
"Here, show me your hands" He said.
"Huh?" The girl replied confusedly. She looked at the bottle in Joe's hands.
'An alcohol bottle?' She thought to herself.
"Just show me your hands." He said.
The beautiful girl was confused but did it anyway. She showed her his hands.
The sound of liquid hitting solid entered their ears as Joe poured a bit of alcohol on the beautiful girl's soft hands.
"Ah? Why did you do that?" She asked in surprise.
"I'm sorry. Please don't be angry at me. Wash your hands with alcohol or else you might get infected with my sadness." He said bitterly with a laugh but he still managed to crack a joke.
The beautiful girl just looked at her hands dumbfoundedly.
'Wait, why did he even do that?' she thought to herself. Trying to figure out why that man poured her hands with alcohol.
She looked up but saw that the man was gone.
She could only proceedtowards the school and continue walking.
...
"Ah shit. I'm late again." He said bitterly as he rubbed his head.
"Good morning sir. Sorry I'm late." He said as he dragged his soulless body into his chair. His chair was located at the window at the back.
"Mr. Sanchez why are you late again?! Don't you know that if you come in late again, I'll have you expelled?!" The teacher said angrily.
Joe didn't answer but only walked towards his chair.
"Hey, didn't he commit suicide again and failed?" One of his male classmates murmured.
"Yeah he did. What a load of bullshit. How useless is he?"
"Isn't it his third time?"
"Uh-huh. He must have really piled up a debt on the hospital hahaha"
"He's so pathetic. He can't even kill himself."
"If the chances of him succeeding were as many as the acnes on his face, then he would have already died by now." Another classmate joked.
Joe heard all of this and yet again, his will to live sank even further. He sat on his chair bitterly and looked at the window to distract him from the negativity that radiated from his classmates.
"Silence!" The teacher yelled. He looked at Joe and couldn't help but pity the boy.
'Is that why he was late?' He thought to himself.
He looked at the boy and noticed that behind his collar were rope markings that circled around his neck.
He felt sadness well up in his heart.
"Mr. Sanchez, talk to me after class." He said softly.
Joe didn't reply and just went on and distracted himself from his classmates as the criticism didn't stop even when their teacher told them to. Of course, it was just at the right volume where Joe would hear it but the teacher wouldn't.
Joe looked at the window bitterly. He felt extreme pain in his chest. He held his chest with his right hand and started to issue a scratching motion. He wanted to rip his heart out so that the pain would go away.
Time slowly passed and it was already the end of the day.
The students left one by one.
There were a few male students that didn't leave.
There were three of them. The handsome one was called Lucas. The short one was Dean and the blue eyed one was called Marcus.
Joe was still sitting in his chair when he felt a pull on his collar.
"Hey, I heard that you tried to commit suicide. What? Is life too hard for you little wavy baby?" Lucas teased as he pulled Joe's collar so that Joe stood up.
Joe didn't answer and simply looked at him soullessly in the eye.
'Why even bother answering. The result will be the same anyways.' Joe thought to himself.
"I think he thinks too highly of himself that's why he doesn't answer Lucas" Markus said.
This enraged Lucas.
Lucas punched Joe in the gut.
Joe's face distorted as he let out a painful groan.
"What? You're too good for us to answer?!" Lucas said angrily.
"Let me at 'im" Dean said.
He punched Joe in the face causing Joe to tumble over and fall.
Markus kicked him in the gut again and Lucas stamped on his face.
Joe covered his head but it still wasn't enough as he was still exposed.
This went on for a couple of seconds. Joe felt his senses get numb as he started to lose touch with the world. Piles of negative criticism echoed in his ears.
'Trash!'
'Ugly freak!'
'Creep!'
'What a failure! Commiting suicide yet still living?'
'Ew get away from me you creep!'
'You should just die!'
'Why are you still even alive?!'
"Oy! What the hell are you doing?!!!" A loud deep shout echoed inside the classroom.
"Oh shit! It's teacher! Fuck, run!" Markus said. The three of them exited the other way and ran for their lives.
Joe finally felt the pain stop. He heard a voice calling his name.
"Mr. Sanchez!"
"Mr. Sanchez! Wake up!"
"Are you okay?!"
'Oh, it's teacher...' He looked at the man before he closed his eyes. But he suddenly thought of something again.
'If I lose consciousness now, I would be a laughing stock of the whole school!'
He struggled to keep his eyes open and then he slowly stood up.
"Mr. Sanchez, are you okay?" His teacher asked.
"I'm fine, I'm fine..." He answered weakly. Blood was coming out of his head.
" No you're not! Look, there's blood coming from your head yet you say you're fine?! I'll take you to the clinic!" The teacher responded worriedly.
He took Joe's arm but Joe pushed him back and yelled, "Teacher!"
"I'm fine..." He continued softly. He slowly walked towards the door while his left hand holding his head and his right hand holding his stomach.
His teacher looked at him but didn't say nothing more.
Joe struggled to walk as blood kept falling from his head.
'I'm really fucked this time around.' He thought to himself.
His vision was starting to turn blurry because of the loss of blood.
His feet were becoming much heavier than it usually was.
He slowly walked towards his home. Enduring the pain that was coming from all over his body. He just kept walking and walking and walking.
You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.
'Is this the day that I've finally been waiting for for 17 years?'
'Is this how I'm gonna die? Bloody and injured?'
Thoughts like these kept entering his mind as he felt an extreme feeling of peace. He didn't know why but he felt happy at this moment. He felt relaxed and relieved but he also felt regret and hate towards the world. But most probably, to himself. Perhaps he felt regret because he couldn't live the life he wanted. Perhaps he felt hate because life was simply unfair. He felt hate towards himself because he was too weak and powerless to do something about the situation he was in.
Finally, his apartment was within his sight.
"At la-" He said but just when he was about to finish, he lost consciousness. He fell on the ground with a thud.
"Ah! Senior!" The beautiful lady appeared and cried out. She hurriedly helped Joe up and cried for help.
She looked at Joe and thought to herself
'Why are you so bloody and bruised?'
'Why did you carry yourself all the way to your house alone in this state?'
'Couldn't you have asked for help from your friends?'
There were tons of questions popping in her mind. But she dismissed them as the only thing she wanted to do was to save him.
After a few more moments, only a old lady appeared.
"Granny! Help help! Please help me!" She cried out.
...
'Why am I in this place again?' Joe thought to himself as he looked at the empty darkness surrounding him.
He recognized this place. This was where he would go when he fell into unconsciousness every time he tried to commit suicide. This was the fourth time that he has been here.
'Does this mean I'm not dead?' He thought to himself. He sighed and chuckled bitterly.
He suddenly felt a cold and watery sensation on his forehead.
'Huh? What is this feeling?'
He started to gain consciousness.
He slowly opened his eyes and saw that same beautiful face that he saw earlier today. Her hair was still tied up but her eyes looked like they just cried.
'Why is she here?'
'Am I in my room?'
He slowly moved his fingers, his arms and then finally, he sat up.
"Ah!" This surprised the beautiful girl.
"You're awake!" She said excitedly. She hugged him due to the sheer excitement that she felt.
Joe felt shocked.
'What is this warm feeling?'
He has never felt the feeling of being hugged before. His mother didn't love him starting when he was a born. He was regarded as a demon spawn. He was often beaten up. He felt no such thing.
'It's wonderful...' He thought to himself.
Tears began to fall from his eyes.
"Ah!" The girl cried out again. She pulled herself from Joe and then a blush appeared in her beautiful face.
'Why did I hug him??!!!!' She thought to herself as she looked down shyly. She gathered courage to look up. She noticed that Joe was crying.
"Eh? Senior, I'm sorry that I hugged you! Did that hurt???" She said apologetically .
This woke Joe up from his daze.
"Huh?" He said. He wiped the tears off from his eyes.
"Oh no. It wasn't that." He said weakly.
"Then why were you crying?" The beautiful girl asked confusedly.
Joe didn't respond but only asked another question.
"Why are you here? How did you know that this is my apartment?" He asked suspiciously.
"There was an old lady that helped me out. She said she knew you. She led me to your apartment and helped me patch you up." The beautiful lady replied innocently.
Only now did Joe realize that there were bindings in his arms and head.
"Where is she?" He asked.
"She's outside making dinner."
Joe slowly stood up. Enduring the pain coming from his body. Letting out painful groans in the process.
"Senior! You shouldn't move! Please lay down!" The beautiful girl said worriedly as she helped Joe lean on the wall that was close to the bed.
"Tell me" Joe said suspiciously as he looked at her in the eye.
The beautiful girl felt a burning sensation. Her cheeks blushed slightly.
"Why are you helping me out? Why are you so kind to me? What do you want from me? Are you here to make fun of me? Did you take pictures of me while I was bloodied so that you can post it on the social media?! Why?! Why are you here!?" Joe frustratedly said.
The beautiful girl didn't know how to respond.
"I- i- ... I followed you here because you were stumbling along the way... I though i recognized you so I wanted to help. But then you suddenly fell over... And I didn't know what to do." She replied with a bit of sorrow.
She wasn't sad because the man in front of her yelled at her. She was sad because of the questions that he asked her. She was sad because of how hostile and bitter and sorrowful he sounded when hr uttered those questions.
'Why was he like this?' she thought to herself.
Joe finally felt that something was wrong. He shouldn't have yelled at the girl who was kind enough to help him. But wouldn't it have been better if she didn't help him? And just left him to dir there? But she helped him and that's that. It's wrong to repay kindness with malice.
"I'm sorry I yelled at you." He said. He slowly stood up. This time, he was much more sturdier.
"Eh? Senior, where are you going?" She asked in surprise and worry.
"Outside. Fresh air." He answered briefly.
He saw Granny Jul in his kitchen cooking food.
"Child? Where are you going?" She said worriedly.
He didn't answer and chose to ignore her. He just simply walked straight towards the door.
Granny Jul sighed. She saw the beautiful girl exit Joe's room.
"Beautiful child, can you follow him and keep an eye on him for me?" She asked.
The beautiful girl nodded and went after Joe.
...
She looked everywhere but Joe disappeared. It was night time but she still bravely searched for him.
After a few minutes, she finally saw Joe sitting on the swing at the dark.
She walked closer to him and said with a worried expression, "Senior, let's go back."
Joe didn't answer. He simply looked at the stars in the sky in a daze.
"You asked me why I cried?" He said. Still looking at the stars.
"Huh?" She replied.
"I've never felt such warmth in my entire life before. That's why I cried."
"My mother was a drug addict who treated me like I was the most disgusting thing that had ever came out of her womb. She always told me that I should have just died. That I should have never been born!"
"And her boyfriend... He beat me up every single day until I lost consciousness again and again and again. This continued for 10 years. Yes... I ran away from my home when I was 10 years old. A little kid. I didn't know what to do. I walked in the dark and cold streets searching for food as I slowly fell into unconsciousness because of hunger."
"I luckily got into an orphanage after a year of wandering the streets and eating food from the garbage."
"The people there were nice but I was getting older. No one wanted to adopt me. I finally realized that I had to do something about it. I ran away and found a job."
"Now I'm finally able to study whilst living in an apartment that I worked hard for."
He laughed while he reminisced the memories of the past. The pain and suffering that he went through.
He couldn't hide it anymore.
He doesn't want to hide it anymore.
"It's funny actually. Now that you think about it, I have been on my own for almost eight years... Yet I'm still alive?"
"I starved, went close to being frozen, got beat up yet I still haven't died. Isn't that the funniest thing that you have ever heard?" He said while laughing. But his laughter contained infinite bitterness and sorrow.
"Story of my fucking life" he said.
"The world is cruel and unfair." He continued.
The beautiful girl didn't speak. She only listened to Joe speak. After he finished, tears were falling down her face. She felt his pain. She felt the sorrow and loneliness that the young man in front of him had to go through.
She looked at the man in front of him. She noticed the bruises on his arms, the markings of a rope on his neck and the sad smile.
Unlike all the other people that she has met in her entire life, the young man in front of him seemed to have an empty and boundless void in his heart and soul. She could feel the hatred the tiredness of the man.
"I...I" She said stutteringly. She didn't know what to say. This was a lot to take in.
"It's okay. Come on. Let's head back" He said.
The duo walked side by side each other but they didn't talk as Joe just looked off in the distance.
After a few moments, they finally arrived at Joe's apartment. They took of their shoes and then entered.
"Joe where have you been? Are you okay now? Does your injuries still hurt?" Granny Jul greeted them and asked worriedly.
"I'm fine Granny. I just went put for some air." He said with a smile. His face was beaming with delight. This was a large contrast to the pain and bitter expression that he looked like when he told his story.
Joe did this as to not make Granny Jul worry even more. She's the only thing closest to family that he has ever got. He didn't want her to suffer because of worry.
This made the beautiful lady feel pained even more.
'How is he able to hide his emotions like that? Like there's a switch that he could just casually turn on and off.' the beautiful lady thought to herself.
"Hey, it's already 8pm. Aren't your parents going to worry?" Joe turned to the beautiful girl.
The beautiful girl finally snapped from her daze as she exclaimed in shock.
'I forgot!' she thought to herself.
"You should stay here. It's saturday tomorrow. It's already dark. Joe will take you to the train station tomorrow. Right now, just make yourself feel at home. Just tell your parents that you're at a friend's place" Granny Jul said happily. Making decisions for Joe.
"Eh?" Joe said surprisedly.
'A girl is going to stay here in my apartment?' he thought to himself.
He looked at Granny Jul but the old lady glared at him. This made him feel speechless and also helpless.
'If you want her to stay then just let her stay in your place! Why does it have to be mine? My life is already miserable and now you add a girl for me to take care of?' he thought to himself as he complained inwardly.
"Eh??" The beautiful girl also cried out as a response.
"Go now beautiful child and call your mum." Granny Jul smiled and said.
The beautiful girl could only do as she was told.
After a few moments, it was finally done. Her mother was worried but when she called, she calmed down. Her mother agreed when she told her that she would go home tomorrow morning.
"Alright let's eat." Granny Jul said.
The trio ate the food that Granny Jul cooked happily.
After thirty minutes, they were done. Granny Jul was about to do the dishes but Joe insisted that he should he the one to wash it. He told him that she should rest.
"You better not do anything cheeky brat or you're going to pay." Granny Jul whispered to Joe's ear before she left.
This made Joe feel embarrassed as he blurted out the word "Nonsense!".
Granny Jul left with a teasing laugh and returned to her apartment.
"What did she tell you?" The beautiful girl asked curiously. Earlier he heard Joe scream angrily but it also had a weird tone in it. Thus, she felt curious.
"Nothing" Joe said.
The beautiful girl looked at him with a pout but didn't insist any further. The whole apartment was silent. Only now did she realize that she was staying with a man alone! In an apartment!
She blushed embarrassedly as she tried to cover her face.
"What are you doing?" A voice of a young man echoed out.
"Ah! Nothing! I'm not doing anything!" She cried out while looking the other way.
"Uh." Joe said confusedly.
"Hey, you have no clothes right? Do you want to use my shirt and pajamas?" He offered nervously.
He was nervous because he thought that the beautiful girl in front of him would reject him and label him as a creep. He was nervous because the girl in front of him might feel disgusted by the thought of using his clothes that could be said to be dirty and yucky by other people.
What else was he supposed to do? There was blood all over the girl's uniform. Shouldn't he at least try to offer the one who saved him clothes to wear?
"Huuhh?" She cried out again.
Joe broke into cold sweat.
"Ah, never mind never mind! Please don't feel disgusted" Joe said apologetically.
"Huh? Why would I feel disgusted?" Joe's words made her feel confused even more. The shock that she felt was replaced with confusion.
"Eh?" Joe said. Shocked.
The beautiful girl thought about it for a moment and said embarrassedly,
"Okay. Let me borrow your clothes"
She was actually very helpless in this situation. She felt sticky on her body. Parts of her uniform were dyed with blood. She didn't want to sleep in these clothes.
Joe didn't dare tarry any longer, he went towards his room and took a tshirt and a pajama. Of course, this pair was something that he doesn't use as he had other clothes besides these. The tshirt was white and the pajama was pink with rabbit heads. He also took another towel that he doesn't use. Joe is actually a young man who wants his things to be neat and tidy. All of those things that he took were stowed in his closet.
"Here" He handed them towards the beautiful girl. This made the girl's face turn red from embarassment. Joe looked at the beautiful girl in front of him confusedly. "What's wrong?"
"nothing!" the beautiful girl replied bashfully as she strode towards the 'door' while looking down.
"Hey wait a minute!" Joe called out as he couldn't help but let out a light laugh.
"What!?" the beautiful girl replied with her face red.
"That's not the door to the bathroom... That's a window." Joe said while covering his mouth.
"eh?" the beautiful girl replied as she took a step back. Her face becoming much more redder. She dared not raise her head as she asked stutteringly, "then wh-where's the door to the bathroom?"
"uh... there" Joe pointed. The beautiful girl did not see it but she still went towards another direction. Fortunately for her, this time, the door that she was going to was the correct door.
The sound of the door echoed out inside the apartment as the beautiful girl entered with a bang.
"Well that was..." Joe said to himself speechlessly.
...
Inside the bathroom, the beautiful girl was washing her hair. Her eyes were drifting around the bathroom. She was thinking about the things that happened today.
'How could he have been able to live like these for eight years?' she thought as sadness began to well up inside her heart.
'How could he have endured for eight years? Alone... in the dark. Hungry and unloved.'
'Why is the world so unfair?' She was infected by Joe as she too thought that the world was unfair.
'I have my parents. We're a happy family and yet the person that has offered me a roof to stay in has been alone since he was 10? How am I deserving of such treatment when there are people whom are struggling to even fill their stomachs with food?'
She thought back to his interaction with her. She rummaged through her memories and found something odd. Something that made her even more sad. She felt a prickling feeling in her heart as she recalled their interactions.
""Ah, never mind never mind! Please don't feel disgusted"
'That's what Joe said. Why would I feel disgusted with him? But more importantly, why? Why would he think like that? Was he always looked at with so much disdain and disgust that everytime he interacts with people, he gets verbally abused and criticized because of his looks?' the beautiful girl thought to herself while in a daze.
...
Joe was cleaning the whole apartment very quickly. A girl was staying in his apartment.
He sighed.
'Is my apartment messy?' he thought to himself.
'It is isn't it?'
He scanned the whole place with his eyes. He couldn't help but feel nervous and shame in his heart.
'I have to clean this place up or else that girl might find me intolerable and a creep...' He thought as bitterness entered his heart.
After 20 more minutes, Joe was finally done. The beautiful girl had just finally come out wearing his pajamas and his white tshirt. Her face was rather wet but it was shiny. Her wet hair that was as black as the night sky deeply augmented her beauty. Joe couldn't help but stare for a second. But he instantly recovered as he knew that staring at a girl was rude and he would instantly be labeled as a creep and a perv. He hurriedly looked sideways and his face became blank as it usually was. However, his cheeks now were slightly red. Well, it was always red since he had acnes all over his face.
What he didn't know was that the beautiful girl caught him looking at her and her cheeks was now burning hot red. She didn't know why this was happening. But it did. This only furthered her cuteness.
"Uh... you can sleep in my room." Joe said to break the silence but his eyes were still not on her.
"And where will you sleep?" the beautiful girl said.
'I'll sleep in his room? Sleeping in a boy's room? That's..." as she said that, she thought to herself. Her cheeks were now much more redder than it was before.
Of course, she kept these thoughts to herself. Joe didn't answer her. He only walked towards his room, seemingly leading the way. The beautiful girl found it odd that he didn't reply but she still followed him.
The beautiful girl entered the room and she instantly noticed that the sheets that were dyed with blood were now replaced with a sheet that was neat and clean. There was no trace of any blood as if the blood was never there.
She looked at him in surprise but she also found it quite sad. She didn't know why but she erupted and said,
"Hey moron! Why did you change the sheets in that condition? You're still injured yet you still stubbornly changed it? What am I gonna with you?"
She talked like she was a wife scolding her drunk husband who was injured.
This infinitely surprised Joe.
"Eh?" He exclaimed.
This woke the beautiful girl up. Now her face was like a tomato.
'Why did I say those things?' She thought to herself as she lowered her head in shame.
Joe saw this. He didn't know what to do as the only few women whom he interacted with was Granny Jul and his mother. How was he supposed to know how to interact with another female? Thus, he found his way out.
The beautiful girl looked at the door in a daze. She sighed helplessly as she lay in the bad to get some shut eye.
Hours passed in the blink of an eye. It was already 12am.
The beautiful girl woke up. She opened her gorgeous eyes and looked at the ceiling. 'I can't sleep.'
'Maybe it's because this is my first time sleeping in this bed and apartment.' She thought to herself.
"I wonder where he is..?" she murmured as she slowly got out of the bed and walked slowly towards the door.
She exited the room and saw no one. She went to the bathroom but Joe wasn't there. Finally, she decided to go outside to see if Joe was there. She opened the door and saw Joe, holding a cigarette. His mouth was blowing some smoke but his eyes were extremely lifeless and tired.
"Hey..." She said awkwardly. 'He smokes?' she thought to herself as she looked at the man in front of her.
"Ah!" Joe cried out, shocked. He quickly put down the cigarrete and stopped puffing some smoke on it but the bueatiful girl stopped him and said, "It's okay. My dad also smokes. I'm used to it so i'm not bothered by you smoking."
Joe looked at her embarrasedly. Even though the beautiful girl told him that he can smoke, he still extinguished the fire from the cigarette and set it aside.
"Why are you awake?" he asked, clearly wanting to avoid talking about him smoking more.
'Ah fuck, she has seen me smoke. She'll definitely think that i'm an addict.' Joe thought as she looked at the beautiful girl's eyes. He couldn't help but think that she was mocking him in secret. Like the rest of the people in this world. Saying it's okay but thinking the opposite. The people in this world are two-faced. Hence, it was no wonder that someone like Joe, whom has seen the darkness of this world is constantly onguard and insecure in front of everyone. Thinking about this, Joe couldn't help but sigh inwardly with bitterness.
"I don't know..." She replied. These were the only words that she could muster to say as her mind was filled with something else. There was something that she wanted to ask Joe but she couldn't muster enough courage to ask. Finally, after a long silence, she finally asked him, "Hey uhm..."
"I'm curious... Why would you even think that I would feel disgusted by you?" She asked. Yes, this was the question that has been plaguing her mind ever since she came out of the bathroom.
Joe laughed and said with a forced smile, "and why would you think that I wouldn't?"
"Huh?" The beautiful girl responded confusedly.
"Ah it's nothing. Nevermind." Joe said.
"By the way, I haven't really asked your name yet." Joe continued.
This time, the beautiful girl was the one who laughed.
"I'm Ava Annysa Bennett." She said with a smile as the moonlight elevated her beauty to the peak.
Joe stared at her involuntarily in a daze. There was no lust in his eyes. Only admiration for something beautiful.
"How lovely..." he murmured to himself but unfortunately, Ava heard it.
This made Ava blush as she faced towards the night sky.
This woke Joe up from his moment of stupor.
He swallowed a bit of his saliva as he too, felt deeply ashamed of his blatant staring.
'Shit' He cursed himself.
"My name is weird right?" She said but she was still facing the sky.
She didn't wait for Joe to respond as she continued, "Annysa means pure in old greek... My grandmother was the one who gave me that name."
"It's a pretty name. She is a good namer" Joe said.
"Yes. She was" Ava said.
"Oh, I'm sorry for being insensitive." Joe apologized.
"No It's okay." She smiled.
"She passed away a year ago. That's the reason why I transferred to this school." She said.
"I'm sure she was a great person" Joe said with a smile.
"Yeah. She really was." Ava replied.
The two just stood there for a moment as they both looked at the dazzling beautiful sky. They didn't talk to each other for a number of minutes. The night breeze was cold as the sound of it passing through them echoed out into the sky.
Finally, Ava mustered up enough courage and said with a bright red face,
"You should al-also sleep in your room. The bed is big enough for the bo-both of us."
Joe looked at her stunned and confused.
He almost thought of the scene of the two of them in that bed sleeping soundly beside each other as they share a sinlge blanket. But he ultimately tossed it and rejected the idea.
He snorted towards himself.
'How could such a gorgeous girl want to share the same bed with me? And even if she did want to share the same bed with me, why would I share the same bed with her? Wouldn't I be labeled as a disgusting pervert if i agreed?' he thought to himself.
It was not that he thought badly of the girl. It's just that he thinks so low of himself. Even lower than dog shit. Maybe it's because of the fact that he was treated as something akin to trash since he was just a small child. Received physical beatings and verbal abuses from the people around him. How can you blame him for thinking this way right?
Ava saw him snort and was confused. 'Does he disdain to sleep in the same bed with me?' She thought to herself.
'No, i don't think that's it. It must be something else.' Ava is a very bright girl. Thus, even with just how short of a time that the two of them had interacted, she seemed to got a bit of how Joe's mind worked. And she was right! It was something else but she obviously did not realize that what she thought was correct.
"No, it's okay. Don't worry. I have an extra mattress hidden somewhere in the apartment. I'll grab it later when I'm about to sleep." Joe said with a smile but hidden inside that smile was a sad soul mourning and wailing. Craving for death.
Ava nodded and didn't stay there any longer. She went into the room and lay in the bed. She trusted that since Joe said that, then it is true. She had no other choice but to believe it since she got the feeling that Joe is someone that you can't convince. Joe watched her leave as he stood there, letting the overwhelming sadness get to him.
Joe took out another cigarette and then started to smoke again. After almost thirty minutes, he finally felt sleepy.
He entered the apartment and then sat beside the door. He leaned on the wall and then hugged his feet, readying himself to sleep.
Yes! He lied.
How?
How could someone have an extra mattress when he's the only one who lives in his apartment.
Why would someone have an extra mattress when all of the relatives that he had despised him to the utmost peak?
Besides, Joe is someone who used to sleep in the streets. Thus he was accustomed to sleeping like this.
A whole full six hours passed. Joe couldn't sleep that well. He ended up half awake the entire six hours.
He stood up, stretched his arms as he felt the injuries that he got yesterday ache although the pain was less compared to yesterday. Add to that the pain that he got from sleeping in that position.
Joe cooked some egg and then took out the extra orange juice that was in the fridge. He cooked three eggs. One for him, one for Ava, and one for Granny Jul. This was something that regularly occured. He loved Granny Jul like family. He didn't want her to stress herself. He also prepared some rice. It took a whole hour to do all these things.
Finally, he was finished.
He sat down and after a few minutes, a figure appeared in front of him. It was Ava. She had just woken up. Her hair was all messy and her eyes were smaller than usual. This made Joe involuntarily laugh. He found it rather cute. Although if other people saw him laugh, they would be disgusted to a very large extent. Seeing a person with acne all over his face and a face that was supremely ugly was very horrifying.
Of course, it was just a light laugh as he also knew that he looked extremely scary when laughing. Like an extremely horrific villain plotting something evil. A villain who looks to have been mutilated.
Ava saw her laugh and her eyebrows creased.
"What's so funny?" she said as she glared at him.
Contrary to Joe's thoughts, Ava wasn't in any way disgusted by him when he saw him laugh. In fact if you looked closely at Ava, you would be able to see that her face was slightly red. Well, Joe obviously didn't know or notice the redness of her face.
He abruptly turned sideways as he answered. "Uh... hehe nothing. Goodmorning"
"Sit down, let's have some breakfast. I have cooked some food for you." Joe instantly changed the subject. This was a smart move as Ava wasn't really that angry.
"Mmm. Goodmorning" Ava nodded and then sat down.
"Wait, I'll go see if Granny Jul is awake." Joe said as he left the apartment to check on Granny Jul.
Ava sat down speechlessly. She looked at the food in front of her. She couldn't help but sigh sadly as she inspected the whole apartment apart from the room of course. She saw not a trace of a bed. There wasn't even any blankets.
'Did he even sleep?' Ava thought to herself.
'How could he prepare our breakfast when he's injured? Doesn't he care about his health?'
Finally after a few moments, Joe appeared with Granny Jul.
"Goodmorning beautiful child. How did you sleep? Did this rascal do something shady to you? Tell me, i'll teach him a lesson" Granny Jul said as she sat on the chair with a bright smile on her face.
"Hey what are you talking about!" Joe said helplessly.
Ava saw this and laughed.
Granny Jul smiled even more.
The three happily ate. After the three ate, Ava offered to wash the dishes which of course, Joe didn't agree. He told Ava to go take a bath as he would accompany her to the train station after she took a bath.
Ava grunted but it was followed by a helpless sigh. Joe gave her some clothes that she could change into as she entered the bathroom.
Joe cleaned up the kitchen swiftly.
"You should really take care of yourself child." Granny Jul said worriedly.
"I am." Joe replied.
Granny Jul didn't reply.
Joe continued to wash the dishes.
"You slept on the floor again did you?" Granny Jul said.
Joe nodded. "I don't have an extra mattress." He said.
Granny Jul looked at him with a sad expression. She walked towards him and gave him a warm hug.
Joe felt warmth arose in his heart as he became teary eyed. He really needed this hug.
"You're gonna kill me. Don't you know that?" Granny Jul said.
"I'm sorry. You don't have to worry Granny. I'm fine. Thank you." Joe said with a smile. Tears were slowly falling from his eyes.
"Don't cry child. Granny is always here for you. I won't leave you." Granny Jul said as he caressed Joe's head as if he was a little boy who got bullied by his friends.
...
"I don't have an extra mattress." Joe's voice reached Ava's ears as she felt extremely sad.
'Why didn't he tell me the truth? I told him that he could go and sleep with me!' Ava thought as she felt her heart weaken.
She quickly finished up and put on the clothes that Joe gave her.
After she took a bath, Joe entered. He only took about 10 minutes.
The duo finally bade their farewell to Granny Jul.
"Goodbye granny!" Ava said.
"Mmm. Pay me a visit sometimes okay? These old bones of mine will miss you." Granny Jul said as she gave Ava a hug.
This made Ava feel warmth inside her heart as she remembered her late grandmother.
"I promise I'll come back every often." Ava replied. This made Joe's heart skip a beat.
'She'll come back every often?' he thought as he stood there in a daze.
"Joe, take care of this girl alright? Otherwise I'll beat you up!" Granny Jul joked as she said to Joe.
This woke Joe up from his dazed state. He unconsciously nodded. The words that Granny Jul uttered obviously had another meaning to them. Ava noticed this thus, when she saw Joe agree, she blushed. Of course, the dazed Joe didn't notice this as he wasn't in the right mind when Granny Jul said it.
The duo left the apartment and walked towards the train station. It was a bright and sunny day. The weather was great. The birds were singing and the wind was howling gently. It was a pleasant day. Ava and Joe barely talked along the way as whenever Ava would try and talk to him, he would answer with only a few words. I mean, you couldn't blame him for this. When was the last time that he walked to the train station with a girl? Oh wait, there wasn't a last time.
Finally they reached the train station.
They were lucky today. The train station to the Freedom Prefecture was not crowded or it has very few passengers.
"Will you be okay on your own?" Joe said to Ava.
"Of course, I'm not a kid you know?" Ava replied acting irritated by the question.
Joe forced out a laugh when he saw this.
"Alright. Take care" Joe said as he left..
"You too. Tell granny that I'll miss her" Ava shouted as he looked at Joe wave his hand and then signal a thumbs up sign without turning around.
Joe went back to his apartment without any interruptions. Saturday went by just like that. In the blink of an eye, it was already sunday morning. The sound of the heavy rain woke Joe up. The temperature was very cozy and it made him feel comfortable and at the same time, sad inside. He looked at the ceiling as he recalled the past.
"Mom! please! please stop him from hitting me! Please I-i can't take it anymore!" A childish voice echoed out inside a small house as the sounds of crying and thumping could be heard. A man that had was about 5'10 tall was holding a belt made out of leather. The man looked to be about in his late 30s, he had a big beard and his complexion was pale. His eyes radiated anger and murderous intent. In front of that man was a child that was about 10 years old. The little boy was crying and covering himself up.
"Niño estúpido! You fucking ruined my coffee dipshit!" The man yelled as he held out his arms and whipped the little boy's head with the belt.
"No no por favor! ¡Lo siento, no fue intencional! It was really unintentional! please forgive me!" The child weakly yelled as he cried out in pain. Fortunately for him, he was covering his head with his arms. Otherwise, the belt would've caused a bump on his head. Possibly causing him to bleed out.
Joe looked through the holes in between his arms as he grunted in pain. He peeped through the holes in an attempt to ask for his mother's help.
Disdain.
Disgust.
Indifference.
Those were what Joe saw in the eyes of the one who gave birth to him.
Joe's heart felt pain inside as he further curled down into a ball to cover himself up.
"Teach this fucking kid some common sense!" The man yelled at Joe's mother as she nodded out of fear.
*Bang!* A loud thunderous sound echoed out as Joe was awoken from his reminiscing state.
Joe got up and made coffee. He took a stick of cigarette and lit it while watching the rain fall down. It was still just 6 in the morning. The weather was very gloomy. After a few minutes, Joe finished the coffee and then threw the cigarette butt into the trashcan.
He took a bath and prepared himself to go to the store to buy a couple of things.
...
"How much is this cake?" he asked the cashier. The cashier was a beautiful lady. She had a very curvaceous body and two mountains that looked like they were about to burst in front of her chest. She wore a smile that made her dazzle and become a phoenix amongst chickens but when she saw Joe, her eyes flashed disgust. It was only for a brief second but Joe caught it.
He cursed himself inwardly. 'What did you expect? She would fall for you? Don't make the gods laugh Joe' he thought to himself.
The cashier put on a fake smile since it was required for employees to treat their costumers with hospitality.
"It costs 20$. Since it was made by a famous chef." The cashier said as she looked at what Joe was looking at.
'Should i buy it or not? I'm sure Granny Jul will be happy if she sees me treat myself' he thought to himself as he made up his mind to buy the cake even if it was very expensive.
"I'll take it" Joe said.
The cashier's eyes lit up and her smile looked much more real than before.
An employee came and quickly wrapped the cake. The cashier looked at Joe like he was a walking treasure and said,
"thank you very much valued costumer!" the cashier said with a sweet voice.
Joe smiled at her, opened his umbrella and left. The cashier looked at his departing figure and finally, the plastic smile on her face subsided.
The cashier and the employee that packed Joe's cake glanced at each other meaningfully and laughed.
"His smile almost made me vomit hahahha" The cashier laughed out loud. The one who packed Joe's cake also laughed. But obviously, Joe didn't know what had transpired.
The rain hasn't weakened but grew stronger instead. Joe held the cake on his other hand while holding the umbrella with the other.
After more than 30 minutes, Joe finally saw his apartment. He smiled at the thought of seeing Granny Jul's smile and how happy she would be while eating the cake that he bought for the two of them. It was Joe's 18th birthday. Yes, he was 18 now and he has already been on his own for 8 years. How quickly time passed by. Joe looked at the apartment happily but...
his heart pounded heavily as he saw a foot in front of his apartment. He felt like a band was marching in front of his chest as he walked closer and closer to have a clear view of who it was.
Granny Jul!
Joe felt the rain become much more intense as the cake and umbrella in his hands dropped to the ground. The cake was engulfed by the water that came from the rain. Joe quickly ran as fast as he could towards his apartment. Tears were falling from his eyes as he shouted Granny Jul's name.
"No!"
"Please no!"
He couldn't hear anything else, neither the rain nor the sound of his heavy footsteps.
"please, please, don't leave me" Joe saw blood coming from Granny Jul's head. He took a deep breath to calm himself down. He took of his clothes and wrapped them on Granny Jul's head. After that, Joe carried Granny Jul in his arms.
The person who cared for him all these years. The one who gave him strength to continue this miserable life!
"Fuck!" Joe cursed as he quickly ran to find a taxi.
"Help! Please help!" Joe shouted as tears were falling from his eyes nonstop. His complexion was pale and his eyes were bloodshot.
Fortunately for him, a taxi driver saw him asking for help. The man didn't hesitate to let Joe enter the car.
"Get in! Quick!" The taxi driver said.
Joe felt grateful, but it wasn't the time to express his gratefulness. He carefully laid down Granny Jul at the backseat with him as the taxi driver drove as fast as he could to the nearest hospital.
In the blink of an eye, they were already there.
It all happened so fast yet so slow. Granny Jul was brought into the hospital using a stretcher. They quickly brought her into the emergency room. Joe followed them but it was useless. He was barred from entering the room by a few nurses.
"Sir, I'm sorry. You should wait here." A nurse said as he shoved Joe slowly away from the door.
" no please. Let me see her please." Joe begged but to no avail.
"Sir this is a restricted area. You cannot enter this room. I'm sorry sir but you can only wait here" The nurse said.
Joe looked at them helplessly as he backed away.
He slowly and sorrowfully made his way outside. The rain was still pouring very heavily.
"What!! What do you fucking want from me?!"
"Did I do something to all of you?!!"
"She was the only thing that kept me going!!!!!"
"WHY?!"
"PLEASE SOMEONE ANSWER ME! WHY??!!!"
Joe screamed his lungs out.
Joe kneeled down on the wet ground and cried.
After a few moments, a man tapped his shoulders and said, "Sir, I'm sorry. She's gone"
Joe felt like his heart was about to fail at any moment.
He knew that there was a high chance that she would die. When he found her on the floor, her body was cold and the floor was filled with blood. Because of what he observed, he already thought of the idea that she might die. But he wasn't ready to give up on her!
He loves her.
She was his only family.
But now...
"She's dead?.." Joe said slowly, he had to hear it again even though the nurse's words were clear.
"I'm sorry sir." the nurse said. He helped Joe up, hugged him and dragged him carefully inside the hospital.
Joe was filled with despair. His eyes were empty.
The nurse dragged him to a room where he was given medication. He didn't speak nor did he ask about Granny Jul. He was broken. Traumatized. He just wanted to die. He wanted to be with Granny Jul right at this moment. He wished that he had cherished the time that he had with her. He wished that he could turn back time and give the only person in his life that cared about him all of his love and attention. But it was too late for regrets. She was gone.
She's dead.
She's never going to come back.
Joe layed down on the bed and then closed his eyes. Hoping that it would all end. He fell into a deep sleep.
...
"where am i?" Joe murmured. The surrounding was very dark and he could see nothing.
His eyes lit up when he saw Granny Jul walk up to him with a sad smile.
"Granny Jul? You're alive!!" Joe cried out full of excitement. Tears then fell from his eyes. "I'm sorry, please don't leave me please Granny..." Joe sorrowfully said as he looked at Granny Jul.
Granny Jul didn't reply but instead just walked forward. She didn't turn around nor look at him again.
"Hey wait!" Where are you going? Don't leave me please!" Joe yelled full of pain as he tried to catch up to Granny Jul. But no matter how fast he tried to run, he couldn't catch up to Granny Jul.
"Please... Don't leave me behind."
"Take...take me with you!" Joe shouted as he felt a surge of energy fill him. This energy was his desperation as well as his hatred for the world.
He ran as fast as he could. He noticed his parents standing by the side. His mother still had that disdainful and disgusted stare while his father was looking at him with a hateful expression.
He ran much faster until finally he heard a voice.
"Sir???"
"Sir!"
"sir!"
A man's voice echoed about as he felt a tug on his arm.
He finally woke up. 'So it was just a bad dream huh?' he thought to himself.
But he looked at where he was and the man standing in front of him. It was a nurse. Which means, Granny Jul was still dead...
Pain filled his heart again as tears started to fall from his eyes. He didn't know how many times he had cried but he couldn't help it. The hole inside of him that Granny Jul filled was now much bigger than it was before. He didn't know if it could ever be filled up again. Nor did he know if he could ever be whole again.
"It's okay sir. It's okay..." the nurse hugged him and let him cry on his shoulder. Pain was obvious on the eyes of the nurse. The feeling of losing someone was not something to be taken lightly. As a nurse, he treated his patients like family. That's why he let Joe hug him. The nurse was about 26 years old. His looks were average and his skin tone was light. Seeing a kid like Joe cry was heartbreaking.
After a few moments, Joe finally sobered up.
"Thank you..." He uttered.
The nurse smiled and said, "Glad to help sir?"
"Joe"
"Are you feeling a bit better now Joe?" The nurse asked carefully. Afraid that it might trigger another painful wave to attack the kid.
"Yes..." Joe replied.
For the last time, Joe went to see Granny Jul and wept on her dead body. He looked at Granny Jul's cold body. Her eyes were closed and she looked much better compared to before. His eyes became bloodshot. He kneeled down next to her body and held her hand. He wanted to cry but no tears fell from his eyes.
"When I moved to the apartment, you were the first person to greet me."
"You saw that I was alone. You saw that I didn't have anybody else."
"You checked up on me everyday and made me feel the warmth of having a family."
"Do you remember when it was christmas and i tried to cook for you a salad? But I screwed it up and put too much salt?" Joe said as he let out a bitter laugh.
He didn't speak for a few minutes.
His tone suddenly changed as he said,
"I'm sorry Granny Jul..."
"I'm not strong enough. I can't do this without you..."
"I love you Granny Jul."
"Rest in peace in heaven."
...
After an unknown period of time, Joe was told by the nurse that he could go home now. Joe insisted that he stayed so that they could work on a way to deal with the bill but the nurse said that he didn’t have to worry about it. Forced to leave, Joe left his cellphone number and went home.
Tons of thoughts ran across his mind as he thought of the happy moments he had with Granny Jul. It was night time around 8pm and the rain has stopped. The stores were still open. Joe knew that he wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight. That’s why he decided to buy dozens of beer and cigarette packs.
He slowly made his way to his apartment. The cake was still there. No one bothered to clean it up. He grabbed it and brought it with him to his apartment. When he walked up the stairs, he saw that the floors still had a bit of blood. The rain had washed away most of the blood but there was still a bit left. Joe felt a surge of emotions inside of him about to explode. He sighed heavily and then threw the beer into his bed. He was about to release all of his emotions violently but he felt tired. He felt tired of life. He felt tired of being angry.
He lit up a cigarette stick and opened up a can of beer. The pain was still there and it grew more intense as the seconds passed by. Joe sighed again and decisively burned his wrist with the cigarette stick. He grunted in pain. After a few seconds, he removed the cigarette stick from his wrist and then drank a mouthful of beer. He poured some of the beer on the burn to lighten up the pain.
It was insane, but it was a way to vent his pent up emotions. He felt a bit better in the inside. He kept repeating this process but he was smart enough to burn the parts where it couldn’t be seen. There was no one else on the neighboring apartments as Granny Jul was the only person that resided in this building before him and no one came after that.
Joe burned his chest, his shoulders, his legs and every part where it couldn’t be seen.
It wasn’t until he was completely drunk that he fell asleep.
The next day was Monday but he didn’t go to school. He spent the next week in his apartment. Drinking all kinds of liquor. Even going as far as withdrawing a bit of his savings just to drink. He became a complete alcoholic and every time he felt the pain grow more intense, he would take the knife and slit his wrist up to his forearm. But he made sure that the cut wasn’t too deep since what he wanted was a slow and painful death. Torture. A part of him wanted to torture himself to death.
In the blink of an eye, two weeks passed by. By this point in time his teacher, Mr. Ramirez finally decided to visit his house. As Joe's Class Adviser, it was his duty to check up on his students whenever they didn't show up in class after a considerable amount of time. At the first day, he thought that it was just som