Night has come, the man who got sent to be experimented hasn’t come back, so it’s to be assumed that he is dead. Am I a bad person for getting him tortured and killed rather than just killed?

Everyone acts like it’s my fault, when it’s clearly not. I am a victim like everyone else, so why should I be guilty for getting a small advantage?

I get up from my knees and go on a small walk outside, the air is nicer at night, fireflies fill the night sky making everything beautiful.

Nobody is in their huts right now, at night most people go to the food clinic to convene, since it’s the only place with lighting and seats. It was a genuinely nice building, it was here before I got here. Grey bricks, 2 stories, the bottom one holding crates of scrap food and the top holding the vials of blood.

At first I assumed the workers there were evil, but nope, they just need to fill a quota of blood every week or they get killed, they live in the same town as us sadly.

I hear some splashes of the men going into the water, trying their best not to touch the sticky bottom that pulls you under.

It feels like I’m missing out on a party, laughing and conversation loudly playing far away. Noah’s probably inside of the food clinic chatting about the revolution.

I climb up on a hut and sit on top of it, my feet dangling down, I can get a view of the whole town, not much of a town sadly so it wasn’t a nice view.

“You being a creep again?” Noah sneaks up behind me and grabs my armpits, causing me to jump.

“People watching…”

“Woah no retort? you sound depressed.”

“Mhm…”

He sits beside me and hits my back in a playful gesture that still hurts, with the bruising and all. “Things are starting to look good, we are preparing enough weapons for everyone, you included.”

“Weapons? You mean sharp planks you cut on the food clinics bricks? Those weapons?”

He smiles, “yeah… pointy things are notoriously good at hurting people…”

“Try and stab through a bear with a pointy stick and tell me how far that gets you.” That rewards me with another slap on the face.

“Wish we had you strategising with us, you are probably the smartest here.” He leans in to watch a certain someone, a blonde girl he liked with her feet in the water.

“If I was smart, I’d be out of here already.”

“You’re the only one of us who has gained the favour of a demon.”

“I think that means I’m less smart and more just evil, evil attracts evil you know?”

“Actually opposites attract, magnets and shit. Speaking of which how do we make a magnet?” This guy almost never takes anything I say seriously, that’s the only reason I can stand talking to him.

“You need an electric current, I think you just use iron or something, give one a negative charge and one a positive charge.”

“Okayyyy, how do we do that?”

“I don’t fuckin know, we don’t have electricity here.”

That shuts him up for a while, I breathe in the nice cool air, this place doesn’t feel very polluted when you breathe through your mouth.

“Aight, I’m going down, good talk.”

“Bye Noah.”

“Seeya Fay.” He runs off to the food clinic to talk to the people he actually cares about.

I jump down from the roof of the hut and walk back to my living quarters, the sounds of people slowly disappearing.

I shut the door and lay backwards into the mud, goodnight.

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…

Good morning.

Another day another nightmare reality, I do my usual sulking until Noah taps on my door like he does every morning.

“Can I come in?”

“Yeah?”

“Uh, she is here for you… again.” He seems shaken, she probably went directly to him to tell me, showing that she knows exactly who my friends are.

I get up and stretch, “thanks Noah, you stay here.” I tap him on the shoulder twice and walk out.

She is right outside my hut, a carriage behind her, not like the carriage before, this is the lavish carriage she only uses for me. “You look informal.”

“This isn’t a formal place.” I step towards the carriage, “am I going again?”

“Yes. You’re in the back with me.” There is a man in red armour sitting at the front, directing the horses, she taps him twice then turns back, “now.”

As I walk towards the carriage I can see almost everyone staring at me, what do they want me to do? Not follow what she wants? Are they serious?

I get in, there are two wide red cushioned seats, she sits on the one at the back while I sit on the front, we face each other.

“You can go!” She shouts while closing the blinds, she really doesn’t like me seeing the exact route to where she lives.

We stare at each other in silence, “so?” I say, I find it’s best not to bullshit with her, say what I want and be honest.

“So? Whats with those bruises? You probably just took a beating like a good little boy huh?”

I shrug, “I’m not a fighter, if I was I’d be dead.”

“Right you are.” Her armour clanks as she crosses her legs, she is wearing a bit of red makeup on her lips and eyes, like warpaint but sharp, precise. Makes her predatory nature physically real.

We stare at each other, this has happened countless times and it always feels like I’m playing conversational chess.

A bump in the road signifies we are on an actual path now instead of the squishy mud, that was around 4 minutes… I wonder how they hide the route…

“What are you thinking about?” She leans in, always intent on hearing my every thought.

“I just timed how long it took to get here… to find the route to escape.” I say plainly, usually saying plans to escape to your captor is a bad idea.

“Hm, you can’t, not without… nevermind I won’t say.”

“You need a key or something?”

“Basically.”

The bumps get smoother, 5 minutes in, I wonder if they use some of that blood magic to do this.

“Fay, that Noah boy, how much do you care about him?”

This is an incredibly dangerous question, “I don’t really care about anyone, he’s funny, but that’s it.”

“Oh really? So you won’t mind if I turned him into your dog? A little puppy you can walk and take care of?”

I stop breathing for a second, then in, then out, I keep my face still, my heart beating, my jaw relaxed.

“Go for it.” I shrug, “although I feel like I’d just drown him if he was a dog.”

She giggles behind her glove, “you’re a very good liar.”

“That’s a compliment coming from you.”

“Oh my, what does that mean?” She gives a soft gasp, getting up and sitting beside me, I get a faint smell of lavender from her. She really is trying to impress me for some unknown reason.

“I’ll leave your boy alone, but I want names, who should I take next?”

This has been a common occurrence, she has been making me make the lists of who to take for experiments, she sometimes listens and sometimes doesn’t, I usually choose the eldest people, given they’d probably die soon anyway.

“I actually don’t have a list at the moment…”

“You do, but you can tell me when you’re more relaxed…” she plays with her hair, “your hair is nearly as long as mine.”

She leans over and sniffs me, holding my hair to her nose, “you need a proper shower.” She yanks a strand out and takes it, “imagine if I made a clone of you… then kept the original trapped in a cage… I’d keep cloning you and you’ll never be able to experience the happiness I give your doppelgängers.”

“Clone me and I’ll kill myself.”

She smiles, twirling the strand in her finger, “which self?”

“The one who loses.”

She lets out a small breath, her orange eyes staring into mine, she doesn’t have pupils so it’s hard to know what she is thinking. “Then… I’ll see if I can make it happen.” She curls up on herself like an excited schoolgirl who just got asked on a date.

The carriage stops, “finally, you smell awful. Can’t stand being around humans.” She puts a bag around my head and pushes me out harshly, I twist my ankle on the drop off the carriage.

“Move, move, you’re so useless.” She pushes me, I don’t know where I’m walking.

“WALK CORRECTLY.” She grabs my wrist and drags me, I lose my footing so she just lets my knees get cut up on the rough ground, my legs get hit my stairs before reaching carpet.

“So fragile.” She pulls me up more stairs, making sure my legs hit each one, I try not to make any noises of pain.

I’m taken into a room and onto a bed, I’ve been here countless times before, the bag gets ripped off my head.

“Urgh, doing that whole showing off thing is so degrading for me, but I can’t exactly bring you in normally can I?” She grabs some paper, “let me heal you.”

There is a vial of blood that she dips her fountain pen into, she writes something fairly quickly, then drinks the rest of the vial. “Say thank you.”

“Thank you master oh dearest master.” I say sarcastically, my body now laying backwards on the perfect king sized bed, the bed frame being made of mahogany, much like everything else in the room.

She rips the paper with the writing on it then takes my shirt off, “woah, bruises.” She pushes down on one harshly, making my body to scream in pain, my lips stay shut.

She places the paper on my chest, then holds her hand on it, saying something in a foreign language. The paper burns up.

My body feels tingly with static and goes back to normal after a couple seconds, I feel as perfect as physically possible with my malnutrition.

She grabs some grapes and begins feeding them to me by hand, “you’re so puny, I’m going to get changed, don’t leave or I’ll really genuinely ruin everything in your life.” She walks out.

I get up instantly, checking out her notes, trying to remember as many of the symbols as possible. I’ve done this every single time, if I can use their magic I can actually fight back in a meaningful way.

Not just with pointy sticks.