They say all children are born innocent.

Was that sentiment made up?

Ever since I was little I felt the gazes around me, looking down on me, despising me. I know it was all in my head but it made me feel so....wrong.

Why did I feel this way? It was like my eyes could only see one color during that time; my ears only hearing one word.

I know what I heard and saw were lies created by my mind, yet I couldn't help but think It was all real. I was only a child, one that had not even seen five winters.

Even now, with those painful memories behind me and my mind having some semblance of normalcy, they affected me in a way that changed me.

One of these changes occurred a few winters back, when I woke to the rising sun, I found my mind gained a demented and warped curiosity for the things around me. Though I admit, I couldn't find myself to dislike the change in the slightest.

Before I knew it, a rabbit I found when out playing was under my boot.

All I remember is the thought of wonder, seeing what the inside of such a wonderful thing looked like. I heard remember the crisp crunch and the sight when I looked down so vividly.

I didn't feel bad, I just satiated my curiosity and began to dig through the rabbit's guts by ripping it apart with my small hands. I wasn't even 10 yet.

Unfortunately, the squelching was loud and my mind wasn't in the right place; I was in a trance. I was spooked when one of the other kids in the village peered over me and saw what I did to the poor creature. Their scream was a bolt of lightning that woke me up.

That was the first time my heart was drowned with fear.

In response to that horrid feeling, the rising dread of being told on, I did what I had to. By some mystical, again like when I was a child, the demonic sight that plagued me returned, and this time it didn't bring just whispers but it silenced my fear and brought me calm.

It was what saved me, it's what kept my secret safe.

All I remember from that point on was how I forced the child's head underwater in a nearby creek. They were stronger than me, yet strangely, they couldn't use all their strength. It was like their brain froze as I exerted force on them, as I held them underwater until they stopped moving.

That was the first time I killed someone. It was also the first time I became curious about humans more than anything. I could not understand, how the boy in the village who was stronger than me died so easily? What stopped them from saving themselves?

No one in the village knew it was me who killed the child, the animals we live close to made sure of that. They are vicious things, the child's body was no doubt devoured before sunset.

That week, soldiers from the kingdom came and exterminated a few packs in the vicinity. The village was safer, and everyone grieved for the family that lost a son.

I learned my lesson from all of that. After everything was over and my senses returned to normal, I locked myself away from everything.

That year was a tough one, I'm thankful my family supported me through it. But they could not understand, and I could not tell them. Luckily, I got over it, but still, I fear that that state will take me over again.

Why am I like this? Unlike everyone else, I can't remember when I wasn't like this. Was it some sick joke by the heavens? Why was I given such a gift that even poisoned my mind, giving me demonic obsessions? Why was I born this way?

Up until now, I've been denying myself my dark thoughts. Day in and day out I must consciously stop thinking, lest I do something that would ruin everything.

The only thing that could possibly save me from this curse would be "them". If I have the chance, I want to become like the ones my dad would whisper to me about before bed.

The Immortals.

Part of me wants to become like them, or at least get help from them to save me. The other part of me is curious about their power, of what they are, and how to take it all for myself.

Dad says they wield strange powers, the old shaman who died a long time ago said they lived forever, and everyone else says the Immortals are mere fairytales.

The immortals supposedly come down from their large mountains deep in monster territory to recruit, but no one has any proof of that.

These days, all I can think about are the immortals. I so badly wish to meet them, to find out their secrets. Such a wonderful world full of gods, I get exhilarated thinking of such things.

My mind floods with thrill thinking how killing an immortal feels. What their insides look like or what they look like to begin with.

My curiosity won't stop, and I have no way to satiate it.

...

It's morning.....waking up is always a chore. Getting those new blankets and pillows for my sixteenth birthday makes my body reject any thought of leaving my bed.

Still, I have to get up to help Dad with the field. After that, I have to take care of my little sister since she's had a cough recently.

As far as siblings go, I have two older and two younger.

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My older brother went to the nearby city to make a living so now it's just my older sister and younger siblings along with me, Mom, and Dad in the house.

Dad doesn't miss my brother much since he always had something to say, he was also pretty lazy.

I stood up from my bed at last and looked out my small window into the outside, the morning breeze waking me up as it hit my groggy face.

Our village isn't impressive, although we're not on the edge of the kingdom which rules us, we're close to a few cities which keep the area safe and trade prosperous.

We even have neat trinkets like mirrors. Mom says it's what noble ladies use to help apply that fancy makeup, but I like to use them to see myself. It's far superior to staring at water.

Before I can go out and help Dad, breakfast is first.

Entering the kitchen, Mom spotted me and spoke with her kind and infectious voice, "Markus set the table and wake up your brother and sisters please."

"Yes, Mother."

Going to my little siblings' room, It wasn't hard getting them up. Jack is energetic and Isabel is mature, she almost scares me sometimes with her maturity when she's but a small thing no taller than my waist.

The hard one to wake is sis, she's rowdy and annoying, sometimes worse than the village drunks.

Shaking never works. But I do it anyway. It's like a ritual at this point.

"Clair, wake up." No matter how much I push she doesn't budge. "You brought this on yourself sis."

What I do find that always works is grabbing her undergarments and pulling. She always wakes up after that no matter what.

"Ow! Mark, what the hell!"

"Mom made breakfast," I answer her.

She rubbed her butt. "Does that mean you have the right to give me a wedgie?! Asshole!"

Mom screamed from the other room, "Clair! Watch that mouth of yours!"

Clair just grumbled like a beast and got up, pushing me aside to enter the kitchen.

I went to sit down and I ate as usual. There was some banter but it was all very boring.

Heading outside, I found Dad in the back working the field. I brought him breakfast, I was the one who always brought it to him.

"Ah, Mark. Harvest season is around the corner, we have a lot of work to do." Dad wiped his brow before taking the plate.

Just as I was going to get my plow, I heard someone yelling.

"Adventurers! Adventurers came to the village!"

Dad stopped working, his head jolted in the voice's direction and headed over. I followed close behind. We've never had adventurers come here before, this was strange.

In the village center, the Chief was greeting the adventurers from the city.

I never liked adventurers, their strength isn't as mysterious and powerful as Immortals, of course, Immortals are regarded as nothing more than a myth.

People say Adventurers hunt the terrible monsters, the ones even the kingdom militia can't fight. They kill those beasts and sell their corpses. Another thing is that those powerful beasts have cores in their stomachs that adventurers take and use to enhance themselves.

The cores are why the militia can't deal with them. I heard all this from a traveling merchant.

Looking at the adventurers, I felt a switch flick and a feeling of cold calmness flooded over me.

Not now, anytime but now!

Before I knew it, my thoughts switched from apprehension to cruelty and my eyes studied them one by one.

They were a group of four. Two women, two men. One guy was burly while the other was well-built and had a sword. The two girls each had knives and a bow and arrow respectively, their bodies fit on the skinnier side.

Menacing... there was something about them that made my hair stand up. It made my blood run all the colder.

The chief came forward to speak with them. "What brings you here to our village? Our humble home will try to accommodate you to the best of our abilities!"

The man with the sword spoke, I could tell he didn't respect the chief, his tone was distant and condescending. "Rooms will be a start, oh, and food." He then explained their presence there. "We came to hunt a monster that escaped nearby. We'll track and kill it within the week. That is all."

The adventures and Chief continued to talk, I couldn't care less about it, just technical stuff.

My eyes lingered on one of the women, the one with daggers. I liked her weapons, she hid them well but when the wind blew it would reveal them beneath her cloak.

She found my gaze and took my stare as me ogling. I found myself struck with a piercing gaze that made my heart go cold. My mind chuckled and I diverted my eyes to the others.

When the Chief stopped talking, the adventures went off with him. In the end, nothing else happened and I returned to the fields with Dad. That night though, the whole village threw a celebration.

It was pretty rowdy, our village wasn't big but it wasn't small either, almost a hundred people came. Children were running around and dozens of people were drinking and dancing.

The adventurers were the stars of the show, everyone surrounded them and asked questions.

I saw Clair getting close to the one with a sword but he wasn't interested in her advances. Always the flirt, looking to stick to a man so she can live her life doing nothing. She's lazier than our older brother.

"Why were you staring at me?" A voice entered my ears from behind. My neck hairs stood up as I turned and almost jumped when I saw the voice belonged to the adventurer with the knives.

She stared at me waiting for a response.

Again, the calmness came and I silently cursed as I answered her. "I was staring at your knives. The wind would show them every once and a while."

Her eyes widened in surprise. "Oh? I guess I didn't hide them well enough when I got ready. You sure you weren't looking at me for any other reason?"

I replied coldly, "No."

She stared at me for a time before going back to the celebration. I let out a sigh of relief. I don't know if she was disappointed, but I also didn't want to find out.

Mom always said that women are the most dangerous of creatures. I believe her. Still, I couldn't help but lick my lips thinking of killing her. It's been so long since I've had the chance to quench my desires and roam free without restraint.

Morning came and the sun hadn't yet risen. No one was awake, it was early. Even Dad was still sleeping.

Since everyone was asleep I took some bread and headed outside for a walk. Coincidently while I did I saw the adventurers entering the forest.

Contemplating, I decided to head after them. I made sure not to step on leaves or sticks, getting caught could be the end of me.

The adventurers headed in a direction I knew pretty well. They even followed a trail I used a lot.

As I was following them, the big guy spoke, a voice as big as his physique. He was striking up a conversation with the girl with knives. "So what was with that kid? He's around your age, right? You interested in him?"

"I'm 17. He's like 16, he's still a baby with fat on his cheeks." She replied uninterested.

The burly guy laughed, "If he's a child then you're a toddler! Anyway, what's up with him, you never talk to people. You're always on 'high alert'."

"I just caught him staring at me so I asked why. He said it was because of my knives but I'm sure he was lying. All men want is one thing." She sneered.

The big guy continued with his banter but I couldn't hear it. I decided to back up; I felt like I would get noticed if I stayed too close.

They walked for around 20 minutes before stopping. The adventurer with a sword crouched and touched the ground.

I heard his faint voice. "Tracks, heading North. We'll follow them and then head back to the village."

After they left I walked over and saw the tracks. There were big paw prints, almost as big as a carriage.

At this point, it was better for me to return; I'll follow the tracks once the adventurers return. After they mention the area is safe that is. As I thought that, the calmness that had not left me since the night before left like it wasn't ever there.

I quickly ran back, Dad would be waking up soon and I was still sleepy; I wanted to get another hour in at least. I swear I have some strange disease if not cursed, I can't believe I followed them so far.

Still, I felt my body churn in excitement. I came to understand this feeling was born with me, it was something that belonged to me and me alone, that strange calmness there or not.