(That was bad! To think that I allowed him to get a read on me.)
Theodore knew that he had made a mistake in letting his emotions flare before Kalman. With an understanding of what kind of person Theodore was, the elder would certainly use it against him someday. At least, that was what Theodore would have done. Even so, even if he knew it in his head, his emotions, Theodore's emotions refused to be contained.
It was only natural. Children are honest with their feelings and are bad at hiding them. One way or another, the emotions tend to come out in some form. Despite having the Demon Lord's memories, the body was still that of a ten-year-old child, with all the raging 'alchemy' that goes on within. The mind is but a plaything of the body, subject to the whims of the flesh. One could resist the influence with sheer force of will, but a person's will can be chipped away. No one can keep their guard up forever.
(I am going to have to do something about this.)
The frustration was still within Theodore. Suppress and bottle it up he might, he can't erase them. The feelings will still be there and his frustrations will only accumulate with time. If he doesn't find a way to vent them, one of these days, they're going to erupt.
In the past, whenever something upset him, Theodore would always escape into the hills. Occasionally, he would sit by the mouth of the cave Merry had been sealed in, whispering his innermost thoughts into the darkness. Of course, he never once let the fact that he was a Demon Lord slip from his lips. He was going to take that secret to the grave.
However, in Lancea, there were no hills. He wasn't even allowed outside of the walls surrounding the workshop.
"Shit!" Theodore cursed. "I hate this place."
Feeling a mix of irritation and dejection, Theodore lay on his bed, one hand hanging off the edge to caress Peter's coat of fur. The hare's fur was soft to the touch and the loose skin warmed his fingers. By doing so, Theodore found some amount of comfort and eventually drifted into slumber.
***
When he opened his eyes, what he saw was pitch-blackness. He was confused for a moment, wondering why Lina or Maria didn't wake him up. It was only sometime later did he begin to remember where he was. He wasn't home anymore.
With it being far too dark to see anything and his body feeling as heavy as lead, Theodore reached his hand towards the desk and shot out threads of Aether at it, spreading over the desk surface. Theodore was searching for the lamp, but as the threads brushed past the wooden surface, he sensed something else there through his Aether.
Using the threads to twist the lamp open and letting the light from the brightstones flood the room, the objects placed on the table became clear. It was a wooden tray with a piece of bread, potatoes, and some butter. More likely than not, it was Fiana who had left it here. It certainly couldn't be Kalman.
After dragging himself to the desk, Theodore began to eat, breaking apart a piece of bread to feed to Peter who had been waiting by the leg of his chair in anticipation. For a moment, Theodore wondered if Fiana had fed Peter already, having seen her doing so before, but decided that it wouldn't hurt to give him a bit more every now and then.
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(Now that I think about it, can a hare eat bread? Well, if anything happens, I can always use healing magic, so it's fine I guess.)
Due to being left there for a while, the food had gotten cold and stale, but a meal's a meal, and Theodore was by no means a picky eater. Still, judging from how long the food had been left there, Theodore reasoned that he must have missed his evening lesson. Fortunately, Fiana was lenient enough, it was doubtful that she would be upset by him missing a lesson once or twice, so long as he doesn't make it a habit.
After the meal, Theodore pulled out a pen and some paper from the desk drawer and began writing the letter he promised that he would write. It had been ten days since he arrived and he had not yet sent a single one. For these past ten days, he simply couldn't decide what to send. The reason was not that there was nothing to write about, but because he was miserable here and didn't want it to reflect in his writing. As such, he had rewritten his letter many times over to ensure that he sounded happy and excited to the others.
An hour or so later into writing, Theodore let out a sigh. The letter had been more or less written, but he wasn't sure about the content. He decided that he was going to sleep on it before sending it. The problem was, he couldn't sleep. Having slept so much during the day, he simply wasn't tired.
As he tossed and turned, a detail within his brief conversation with Kalman surfaced to the forefront of his mind, something he let slip while his emotions flared.
At that time, Kalman mentioned the Demon Lord. Theodore was quite sure that he hadn't brought it up himself, meaning that Kalman, and the Circle of Mages by extension, might very well be suspecting him of being the Demon Lord from the beginning. For the moment, they should not have any definite proof, but that did not mean they won't act.
Having realized this, Theodore felt his time ticking down. He sensed that should he simply sit around and do nothing, there might not be a future for him.
Feeling a sense of urgency in his heart, Theodore decided to take the time to do a little training on his own. He had planned to do so during the day, but his turbulent emotions made it unwise to try.
From even before he had arrived at Lancea, he had been doing this, working on it little by little. It was something necessary for all those who sought to wield more Aether, a method to increase the rate at which one absorbs Aether from their surroundings and the amount of Aether one can store in their body.
Focusing his mind inward, Theodore began to concentrate on the flow of Aether within his body. Slowly, he began to condense these arcane particles within himself, gradually increasing their density.
It was a simple thing. By condensing Aether, more space was freed within his body for more and by increasing the mass, the attraction force between bodies of Aether would become stronger, thereby increasing the absorption rate of the surrounding Aether.
Advantageous as it was, however, one must be careful when attempting Aether condensation. When Aether is condensed within a body, one must always maintain a consistent flow. If not, there is a chance that crystals would form and cause petrifaction. It will be extremely painful and depending on the parts of the body where they form, it can also be deadly. As Aether circulates throughout the body through one's bloodstream, there was a good chance that crystals could form within one's organs. Due to this, one must take care in attempting Aether condensation and never attempt to condense more than what one can control, lest they be unable to maintain a consistent flow of Aether and let crystals form.
As the condensation of Aether required a great amount of processing power and concentration, Theodore figured that it would be a fine way to tire himself out and be able to go to sleep. In time, he would eventually catch himself dozing off. Judging that it would be dangerous to keep going at this rate, Theodore decided to call it a night.
***
End of Chapter 34
***