[Week 1.7]
Five days in and Luna thought she might be getting her bearings, at least a little. She spent most of her time outside class at the house on Northside. Sometimes she’d dare to sit at Diana’s feet, but she hadn’t managed to repeat that feat with anyone else, so mostly she sat by herself at one of the desks or on an open couch. When she couldn’t find someone to ask permission, there was a nice little corner with some blankets next to one of the desks. It made a surprisingly cozy nook.
She appreciated that Diana let her sit beneath her, and even humored her with touch and affirmations sometimes, but she didn’t want to be too much of a bother. Especially when Persephone sought Diana’s attention as well—Luna didn’t want to keep the two of them apart when they clearly fit together so much better.
Ballet was great though. Miriam was scary, but she had already noticed herself moving more smoothly. She wanted to push herself and grow even faster. At night, in the short unscheduled block before she was supposed to sleep, she’d practice in her dorm sometimes. The mirror there wasn’t as good as the ballet room, but honestly seeing less of herself was kind of better.
There was also something beautiful about it, like the extra effort was a reaffirmation of her own dedication.
At least Miriam had become more predictable. The minder hadn’t lied—as long as Luna followed instructions, she didn’t get into severe trouble. She might get pain, she might get corrections, but she also got comfort and support when she needed it. Somehow Miriam always knew which she currently needed.
All in all things were going surprisingly well.
It was nice illusion, one that fell away when she walked into the engineers and mentors meeting. President T—she still didn’t know his name, and it was way too late to ask—caught her at her spot near the front of the room. “Hey! You’re not responding to your messages as fast as you used to—what’s up?”
“Oh, well—” could she say that the time she was allowed to ‘be distracted’ by EAM had been limited to very precise time slots? No— “I’ve just been really busy! I’m rushing a sorority this year.”
“You, a sorority?” Ollie, one of their project leads, scoffed.
“Ye—yes.” Suddenly Luna was back in grade school again. She— she needed to advocate for herself. To stand up. That’s what it meant to survive in the real world—Delta Sigma had made her forget.
She took a breath, gathered herself. “I’m exploring new things, alright? And I’m sure you know how busy the first few weeks of sorority life are.”
Ollie didn’t look impressed. “You’re a treasurer now. You need to have priorities.”
“Yes—” Luna desperately looked everywhere else.
“You’ll make more time, right?” T gave her a soft, almost beseeching look. It was a proton torpedo into Luna’s exhaust shaft.
“Yes… sure. I’ll… answer my messages more often.”
Fuck.
She spent the rest of the meeting wondering how she would ask Neha.
—
Friday was her first sign language class. They’d be three times a week—Monday/Wednesday/Friday—but, as late transfers, Luna and the other future servants needed to attend a makeup session first. There was something odd about it—there were eight people in the makeup session and six were from Delta Sigma.
Still, the class itself was interesting, though she wasn’t entirely sure why they were doing it. Claire had suggested maybe they were actually going to become top secret spies, and needed to communicate silently. It was as good as anyone’s guess.
When they got back to the house on Northside around lunchtime, Luna decided to try being just a little bit more forward. There was the usual single servant downstairs, watching them at a separate desk in the corner of the living room. She’d worked hard to remember everyone’s names when Arie had asked on the first day, and she was pretty sure this one was Elya.
Luna wasn’t sure how to show the proper respect, so she decided to practice a motion from ballet class. She walked over to the desk, placed her righ foot before her left, and did her very best to sink smoothly into a kneel. It was almost great. She bumped her right leg against the side of the desk and wobbled as she corrected it.
Elya didn’t seem to mind though, she just looked down at her, smiled in a disarming way, and tilted her head in question. The move showed off her black choker, and the little ribbon that decorated it today.
Luna looked for the words. “I had a curiosity, may I ask about it?” Elya nodded, so Luna continued. “Why are we learning sign language? I don’t dislike it, or have objections, and of course I’ll do whatever I’m ordered. But if permitted I would like to know.”
Elya laughed without making a sound, a motion so feminine and cute Luna almost exploded. Luna realized she’d never heard her voice.
Then, Elya pointed at herself.
“You want us to?” Luna asked. “But you’re a servant.”
Elya smiled and shook her head. She made a flurry of hand signs.
Luna looked at her in confusion. “You—oooooohhhhhhh.” She turned three shades redder. “I am so so so so sorry.”
Elya made a sign Luna recognized as ‘no’, then gave her a pat on the head. That motion turned into rubbing her scalp and scratching behind her ears. Luna reached her fourth shade as the pleasure of being petted mixed with the embarrassment. She was kneeling on the ground, being treated like a dog, and she liked it.
She stayed there for another moment, then made an awkward but hasty retreat to one of the couches. Elya eyes followed her, still smiling. The senior servant didn’t push further, and when she went back to her work, Luna breathed a sigh of relief.
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She worked on her essay for another hour before Diana and Persephone poked her, Becca in tow.
Diana gave her that welcoming smile. “Hey! We’re going to walk to the cafe on Newton Street, grab some coffee. Want to join us?”
Luna nodded as fast as she could, mouth suddenly dry.
She fumbled her laptop back into her backpack, began picking it up, then remembered this was the Delta Sigma house. If it got stolen here… She decided to leave it.
The four of them walked out of the house and began the four block treck to the cafe.
“So, what do ya’ll think so far?” Persephone asked from her position at the front, next to Diana. Becca was slightly behind the two of them, and Luna made up the rear. “Becca?”
Becca blushed, something she seemed to do every time someone addressed her. “I… it’s really nice?”
They turned right at a stop sign a block from campus and started heading downhill.
“It’s definitely interesting.” Diana nodded. “Not quite what I expected from a sorority, but it feels really good.”
“What— what sort of things are you all learning?” Becca asked.
Diana tilted her head and stretched her mouth to the right as she thought. “Power. How to express it. Observation. How to read people.” The future minder smirked. “We talk about you four a lot.”
Persephone rubbed herself against Diana’s shoulder like a cat. “Oh yeah, what do you say about us?” There was something incredibly sensuous and open about the gesture, almost teasing, and Luna found herself wishing she could be so bold.
Diana patted Persephone’s head, but didn’t stop her. “That’s not for you to know, little minx.” She suddenly turned. “Luna, what do you think so far?”
“It’s nice?” Luna began. “I’m, ummm, I’m very grateful.”
“Gratitude is an interesting reaction,” Persephone chimed. “Though Miriam would probably appreciate it.”
Becca nodded. “I understand. I feel grateful too.”
They reached the small shopping district containing the cafe. “District” was a bit of a bold term, given that it was really just a single street, about four blocks long, with a few shops stretching just a little up the side streets into the adjacent residential area.
“It’s not just the normal ‘wow they’re so cool’ thing,” Luna explained. “I think, especially with the gender thing, I feel understood here in a way that I haven’t elsewhere.”
They reached the coffee shop, an outdoor cafe with half a dozen tables, surrounding a small window for ordering. They continued their conversation in line.
“That makes sense actually,” Diana said, “they’re already teaching us to be more observant.”
Persephone rubbed herself against Diana again. “You can observe me any time.”
“Perse, how much coffee have you already had today?” Diana’s tone was suddenly sharp, and Becca and Luna both flinched.
Persephone did not, though. “Mmmm, three cups.”
“You’re getting a chai.”
The future servant closed her eyes, suddenly more relaxed, an expression of bliss on her face. “Yes, miss”
“Sorry for that interruption.” Diana turned to the other two. “Becca, did you have something else you wanted to add?”
“Mmmm.” Becca spent a moment looking everywhere but Diana’s face. “For me, it’s that it’s okay for me to be quiet here. I don’t like talking a lot of the time, and facial expressions and human interactions are kind of weird. I like it when I just get to be.”
They each picked up the coffees. Persephone subtly led the group towards the tables. “Want to sit here for a few mins? Just catch up?”
Diana nodded. “That sounds fun. You may all sit, by the way.”
Luna shot her a grateful look and took one of the chairs. “That still feels kind of weird.”
“I think it’s meant to… reinforce something?” Becca said.
Persephone stirred a helping of sugar into her chai. “I wouldn’t be surprised if it grows into more later. I’ve been reading about kink online for the last few days and this feels very much like someone in Delta Sigma is very into a thing called ‘protocol’.”
Diana blessed her with a smile. “That’s actually how Miriam referred to it in one of our classes too. It’s supposed to change how we all think, a little.”
Luna shivered, but couldn’t find anything to say. Becca looked just as silent.
“It’s definitely made me more thoughtful,” Persephone eventually said. “How are the rest of the minders holding up with it?”
“I think Arie enjoys the power but doesn’t care about the protocol,” Diana said. “She got the whole ‘projecting control in your posture thing’ down way faster than myself or Riga. Riga seems just totally unflappable.”
“Ummmm, does she like us?” Becca asked. Her eyes were wide, even more anxious than usual.
Diana’s brow furrowed. “Why wouldn’t she?”
“I just… it’s probably just my anxiety but it’s very easy to be close to you. Arie is kind of scary, that’s sort of their thing, but with Riga I just feel so confused. She seems relaxed but I also feel pushed away.” She hid her face in her latte. “I’m probably just making it up.”
Persephone nodded. “I don’t feel it as strongly as you but I get some of that? Maybe?” She suddenly looked right at Luna. “How do you feel?”
“I’m…” She took a deep breath. She needed to overcome her social anxiety better. This wasn’t a space for her to hide. “To be honest, I’m a little scared of everyone. I feel like I’ve been invited into some queer temple of womanhood and I’m trying not to bump any of the vases or accidentally mar the polished floors.”
Persephone stirred her drink some more, suddenly choosing words carefully. “A friend of mine in high school once said her biggest fear was bringing in some kind of masculine energy, so let me just say you’re definitely not carrying any of that. You’re obviously still new to this… but so are we to the weirder shit that DS does.”
Becca nodded. “You— You’re nice. I like that.”
“I see you as a baby chick, more than anything else,” Diana admitted. “Still finding your wings, still a little unsure of your footing.”
“That’s what we should call her, baby chick!” Persephone made a motion like she wanted to jump out of her chair, and promptly bumped the table with her knee.
Diana shook her head, but she was smiling. “Okay, but getting back to Riga: she’s only said positive things about everyone—I obviously wouldn’t betray her trust by saying details. But she’s not from the west coast, it might just be cultural. She definitely likes you all.”
Somehow getting it all out and just having it… accepted made it easier.
That moved the conversation away from the feelings she didn’t understand, and they spent the next ten minutes talking about their ‘regular’ lives, before walking back to the Northside house.
The conversation tipped back to pledging as they prepared to dive back into their world.
“How have you all been liking your ballet classes?” Diana asked them.
“I think it’s so cool!” Persephone definitely hadn’t needed more coffee. “There’s all this ritual and ceremony and things to learn and these fun different interactions and have you seen how Allyson and Miriam look at each other? Or just the way Jacqueline talks or Neha’s careful controlled protocol? It’s all soooo amazing.”
“I really like it,” Luna agreed. “It’s so comfortable and I already look so much more graceful. I’ve been practicing in the mirror.”
“Baby chick, you need to be like twenty percent less stiff, then you’ll get the kneeling thing. You’re clenched up so tight you can’t move smoothly.”
The name ran through Luna like hot shower.
“Uhhh, thank you Perse.”
There was something simultaneously embarrassing and affirming about it. Luna decided to embrace it.
Suddenly one of her eyes flashed blue, like a cloudy glass lens had appeared in front of her right eye. Then it was gone again. She almost dropped the coffee, but then looked around. Nothing was wrong.
Diana began to turn, seeing her freeze, but Luna hurried on to catch up, and the future minder said nothing.
Claire and Arie had returned to the house while they were outjoined the study group later in the afternoon. They shared the couch furthest from the door, shoulder to shoulder on their laptops.
Luna was glad, they seemed to understand each other in a way that the others couldn’t quite match. Claire always looked a little more relaxed around Arie, somehow immune to the fear that both Luna and Becca felt.
Maybe with enough lessons in ballet or sessions with Miriam Luna would learn to put a word on it, but for now she was just glad that no one was being left out.