Many years ago Adam's father had told him, "A man who takes a shit in his own home, is a king on earth. The peasantry of the past is incomparable to him." Adam having taken this philosophy seriously at a young age had desired to be a king above all, to be author and finisher of their fate...so he started a hardware business, it fell through promptly. Without much thought he had not realised that the market had been saturated by Japanese competitors with their fancy bidets and AI girls systems and most families in the world either lived in an apartment building or wanted to live in savagery (a simple flushing).
Sucking his teeth Adam spat between his bare three legs into a toilet bowl. The hardware store he had bought with a loan from the bank sat filled to the brim with toilets and toilet accessories. He sat on one in the middle of his store, the skylight showing a full moon. An unlit cigarette graced his dry, dark, two-toned lips, his eyes glazing the heavens released tears of an unprofessional nature.
"Hi," he sniffled, "I'm Adam and- I-I sell and use my toilet and it's accessories. We have a wide range of products," He cried as snot ran down his lips and slipped on his cigarette, " From seat warmers, to manual bidets, self plunging and more."
Cool wind blew through the store as the automated lights and tv came on. Even in feeling down a king had to wipe away tears from both ends, four ply and all. It was time for the news a most shocking part of his day. He always liked seeing that reporter Alicia Chung. After reading a multitude of Chinese media(novels) he thought of her as a jade beauty unparalleled between the toilet and man, distinguished among remnants in a royal flush. She looked more Korean than Chinese but hey, like Adam's father had said "Making a family doesn't require the right ingredients."
Maybe a little of his father's ramblings hadn't been centred around toilet shenanigans but he mostly had good intentions. Going back to the news report however-
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"Good night viewers, you are hear with me, Alicia Chung on channel 74 news and tonight we have stories made for...the bio-tech company, Duella, claim to have made a break through in sewer treatment that can lead to a significant downturn in large major city maintenances, especially during flooding. In order to cement their statements they have invited us to their most large scale, government sponsored testing and we have our reporter on the scene, Andrew Talwart, giving us the opening to the man-made phenomenon."
Adam chuckled as it took about twenty seconds for the blond haired man to get on que to begin.
" Always a pleasure to hear from you over here Alicia. And yes I'm here with Duella's Ceo, Tristen Gallard. "
"Thankyou for having me Andrew, " replied Tristen with a shaky smile, his pasty wrinkled face showed his uninterested demeanor.
"So, the first question that pops up when people think of your group's project is, do you expect to change the world?" Andrew asked to fill the pocket of silence.
"I think," Tristen paused and his brows furrowed, "Oh most definitely, I don't just think the world but the entirety of our existence in the known universe."
Andrew dumbfounded by the answer, gave the most logical response," Correct me if I'm wrong but, aren't we talking about poop here?"
Adam and the mass majority of Channel 74's viewers thought the same thing.
Tristen chuckled and his laughter slowly turned maniacal as he loosened his tie and ran his hand through his mostly gray hair. Andrew becoming uncomfortable walked away from Tristen while hurrying the camera crew, "And that was our interview with Tristen Gallard, we'll be switching over to an aerial view of the process in the next few minutes."
Tristen following behind the skittish Andrew grabbed the mic and commanded the viewers, " Stick with us as we witness a great change."
Adam at this time would generally shut off the his tv because the news would get genuinely uninteresting, no matter how beautiful Alicia's voice sounded but today, today was different. It felt like for the first time in forever that shit would hit the fan.
Little did he know things would be getting stinky, real fast.