It was the next day, and I would be competing in my first match in over a week against Zero. However, the conversation I had with King Maxwell and Cerila the previous day still weighed on my mind. I realized that I was being a hypocrite.

I didn’t own Cerila, nor was I her parent or guardian. I had no say in what she did or what she wanted to do with her life. Therefore, I had no reason to be frustrated with her or her decision because it was hers to make, not mine.

It still held true that I didn’t want her to sacrifice herself for me, and I believed that despite what King Maxwell or anyone else believed, I could make that request of her. But did that mean I could be displeased if she ignored that request? I wasn’t certain, but I did know that if Cerila died for me, anger about her decision would probably be the last thing on my mind.

And when I thought about all of this that way, it reminded me of what Bowen said to me while we were overlooking the forest on that particular day. He told me his story and that if I didn’t want to make Cerila or Sylvia, or anyone for that matter, happy, then I didn’t have any right to complain if they found happiness with someone else. Although King Maxwell didn’t know of that conversation with Bowen, his words were oddly similar to what Bowen had said and essentially boiled down to the same thing.

So…does that mean if I were to make Cerila or Sylvia my wife, I would have a say in what they did then? I…I’m not sure it works that way…I don’t really think I want it to be that way.

That only complicated things for me. I didn’t want Cerila or Sylvia to sacrifice themselves for me, but when I asked myself if I would sacrifice myself for them, I answered yes instantly. But that led me to another problem…did I have a right to sacrifice myself for one of them now that I had Mila in my life?

If Sylvia and Mila were dangling from a cliff and I could only save one…what would I do then? It’s a silly hypothetical that would never happen. It’s almost too morbid to even entertain as a passing thought, but the question made my heart ache all the same. It was something that I would just rather not think about, so I filed that away and buried it deep in my mind to be forgotten.

Sigh…I truly thought I was getting better at all of these…feelings and that I was making progress. But I guess not.

Recently, since my birthday, I’ve been allowing myself to act more on, well, my feelings, I suppose. When I thought of something funny, no matter how stupid it was in retrospect, I said it out loud. When I looked down and saw Sylvia’s hand, I grabbed it with mine because I wanted to. When Sylvia and I shared a bed together, we lay much closer to each other than we did in the past.

Of course, my expressions of my feelings didn’t always come off as intended. I knew I was clumsy and awkward at times, saying things that I shouldn’t have said or not saying things I should. I was just figuring things out, and this awkwardness was just part of the process, or so I told myself.

I guess that one could say this is what it was like to be dating. Not that I had ever said that out loud or even truly understood if that was the case, as I had never dated anyone or even personally knew someone that—

…wait, I guess Padraic and Jen are dating? Is that so? Does that count? It feels more like some kind of speedy Dwarven love thing I don’t really get…maybe I just shouldn’t use them as a knowledge base. Anyway…

It felt like things had changed between Sylvia and me. All the signs pointed to Sylvia being happy. She was reciprocating my feelings and wasn’t vocalizing any complaints to me. I think it was fair to say things were going slow but good.

But that was only with Sylvia.

I wasn’t ignoring Cerila, just like I promised her, or not thinking about her; that wasn’t the case. Whenever Cerila got close to me or initiated contact with me, I didn’t turn away. I embraced it, and admittedly, I did enjoy it. I was positive that I cared deeply for Cerila because seeing her frustrated with me as she told me she loved me tugged at my heart just like Sylvia did.

It was something that only those two managed to stir in me. Whenever someone like dazzling Princess Lauren or even the alluring and flirtatious Bella tried to stir something in me, I only ever felt something superficial. And that was because I was a young man.

I got excited like anyone else when I saw an attractive person grab my attention, and my silly Elf brain wanted to do things to appease the hormones running rampant through my young body. But that was it. It was just a natural response to external stimuli; I had learned that lesson a long time ago as Nick’s words to me resonated in my memory even now. I wasn’t so weak-willed that I would give in to that proclivity.

Regardless, that was all just to say it felt difficult for me to express myself to Cerila and Sylvia equally. It was my fault; I was the one that was lacking, and I knew that. I also knew that I was being selfish and greedy. As things stood, the three of us could not co-exist. Cerila and Sylvia were like oil and water. Even if I got down on my hands and knees and begged like the indecisive and confused fool I was, they probably wouldn’t work things out.

And even if they did, they would do it reluctantly because I was the one that asked them. And that didn’t seem fair to anyone. I didn’t need a close relative or friend to tell me that I couldn’t build a family off something like that.

Forcing a family together because of my power and their feelings for me reminded me of the Sandervile household, where the wives of a powerful man looked down on their own children and plotted to kill for their own personal gain. I don’t think Cerila or Sylvia would go that far, and I had no intention of marrying a group of women for power or prestige, so that scenario probably wouldn’t ever come to pass.

But even so, to start a family with a crack in the foundation was inherently wrong, and that rang even more true since I had Mila to consider. I didn’t want to drag her into all of this and ruin her life that we’ve worked so hard to build since we’ve been together. And I didn’t want to hurt Cerila and Sylvia like that either.

So…did this mean I wanted to try? Had I finally resolved my internal feelings to do something…to move forward with this?

…

I would like to try, at the very least, even if it was just wishful thinking.

Maybe I was setting myself up for failure. That everything would explode because of me. And the part of me that acknowledged that was frightened by that. Was that normal? Then again…was any of this normal?

What made it even worse was that I hadn’t properly expressed the depths of my feelings to anyone, especially Sylvia, the person I’ve been with for a few years now. That was a problem in itself, which was, once again, my fault. They both told me how they felt, and I said nothing meaningful in response.

They were waiting for me, and I felt the pressure mounting with every passing day, even if I told myself things were going smoothly. I couldn’t escape that feeling, no matter how much I thought about it. Compound that with what was happening in the world, and things only got even murkier.

Sigh…the tournament…after this… I will do what needs to be done. Yes, I’ll take the first steps even if I can’t see what’s in front of me.

But first, I had to make another decision.

“Dragonslayer!”

“Dragonslayer!”

“Dragonslayer!’

The crowd roared my title as the doors to the stadium opened. I walked out onto the platform on a clear and sunny day. The weather was perfect, and it finally felt like spring today.

Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.

The referee gave the signal, and I walked toward the center as the crowd chanted my name or title. Zero met me in the middle, and the two of us stared at each other in silence. The referee looked at us nervously, and since we weren’t going through the usual process of talking and shaking hands, he nervously regurgitated the rules we had heard dozens of times before.

But I tuned him out and continued to stare at the black owl-like mask, trying to see through it even if it was impossible. I genuinely hoped that Zero was not Tristian Relud because I thought of Tristian as a friend, even if I did that terrible thing to him just to survive and escape.

Tristian was always kind to me and never treated me as an object. He was a very thoughtful, kind, and hardworking person, and I admired that. He stood up for me on multiple accusations even though I was just a meager slave to a friend of his. And while we lived together for years, I never once got the feeling he was a reincarnated person.

“Do you intend to fight to a bitter end, Zero?” I asked, most likely cutting the referee off.

“It won’t be bitter for me. I’ve been yearning for this very moment,” she responded in a husky voice.

“I see. How unfortunate.”

“For you, maybe,” she snapped back. “The world will finally see what kind of monster their savior really is.”

“Don’t you know, Zero?” I asked back as I sent my bloodlust toward her.

Zero flinched, and the referee went dead silent. That was when she hit me with her own bloodlust. However, it was comparatively weaker, I felt nothing.

“Know what?” she asked in a shaky voice

“It takes a monster to kill an even bigger monster.”

I turned on my heels and walked back toward my starting position. I could hear the stadium mumbling in a collective voice, but I tuned it out as right now, it did not matter as the opponent before me wanted to end my life.

When I arrived, Zero was already in position, and without further ado, the referee promptly started the match. I raised my hand and sent a storm of Fireballs toward her, each one capable of ending her life.

If she dies from this much, then it is what it is.

But Zero’s soul shone brightly even with the void in it. She wasn’t a War God, and comparatively, her innate potential should have only been slightly lower than mine. But talent was just that, potential.

Even so, Zero sprinted forward and showed no signs of hesitation against my magic. She dodged the Fireballs that she could and sliced the others in half with her gladius. I continued to send more Fireballs and formed a spell core for a cluster bombardment.

The small orange sphere of fire soared high into the air and burst apart with a loud boom, sending trails of deadly magic toward the ground. Zero frantically dodged about, cutting the spells that were closest to her. The ground shook with the impact as dust and stone flew about it in every direction.

Much to my surprise, Zero received no significant injuries, either managing to dodge the blasts or cut down the ones that would have injured her. She was more skilled than I anticipated, but that was fine. After all, it was only the start of what was to come.

As she reached the center of the platform, I drove my spear into the stone and let my spell core free. The ground rumbled and shook violently, and Zero was caught in the middle. With her sprint broken, I summoned Earth Lances and launched them at her front as I sent another spell core toward her.

She cut down the Earth Lances as expected, but the ground on her sides flipped up in an attempt to crush her. Yet, once again, she swung her sword and sliced one of the walls in half, escaping safely.

Tenacious is well-skilled with the sword while also being confident enough to face off against magic that is coming at speeds beyond what the average mage can muster. It seems that Zero really has been training for this moment.

What else is she hiding behind that mask, I wonder?

I stomped the ground, sending boulders into the air, and launched them at Zero. I quickly followed up with a stone wall and pushed it forward, using it as cover to close the distance between us. My vision of Zero was temporarily lost, and I couldn’t locate her with sound as the stadium was roaring at an all-time high.

But as she had done before, she cut down my stone wall, and for the first time, she took a step back. I thrust my spear forward, fully intending to pierce her through the stomach, but she deflected it away. I had an Earth Lance spell core pre-prepared and was going to launch it at her at point-blank range, but I dodged just in time as something whizzed by my face.

An arrow? No, a bolt…from a hand crossbow from her cloak?

Just when I thought I had dodged the bolt from the hidden crossbow, something else flew toward me and embedded itself in my left hand. I barely felt it and immediately pulled the dart out. Even though I was wearing gloves, I could feel the slippery texture as it dripped with a mixture of red blood and a white substance. It came from the mouth of her mask.

Poison.

I didn’t hesitate and, with my spear, cut my left hand off a little below the elbow. The crowd let out a surprised singular gasp of shock, but I ignored it. There was a chance the poison had already spread into my bloodstream, but I also might have been fast enough to avoid most of it.

Either way, it changed nothing. It was true that I could just notify the referee and win on a technicality. Queen Maxwell would also have her way, but I got a feeling Sanderville would throw Zero under the bus in a heartbeat. Winning that way wouldn’t solve the more pressing issue.

“Yo—you really are a monster—who can just cut their arm off like that without hesitation?” Zero said, her voice laced with fear.

I ignored her comment, and as the smell of burnt flesh assaulted me, the blood ceased to drip from my wound. This wasn’t a novel experience for me as I fought without a hand. I launched into another series of attacks, this time with lightning coursing through my veins. The lightning licked my arms and spear as my thrusts came out faster and faster. Zero parried and deflected as best she could, but I landed a hit directly on her right thigh, slicing the armor and flesh all the same.

The lightning blade technique my mother taught me also had another effect, and Zero’s leg locked up from electricity. She tried to step back and away from me, but her leg didn’t respond to her command. Just as I was about to pierce her chest, her opposite hand reached down for another sword that came apart and wrapped itself around my spear, and the tail end flicked toward my face.

Huh?

I stopped my thrust and dodged, but not enough to completely avoid the hit. The sharp, metal-like whip sliced my face and neck, thankfully not deep enough to cause any problems. The pain from my arm, face, and neck didn’t even register to me.

But unlike a whip, it released my spear like it was alive, and I sent an Earth Lance toward her and jumped back to gain some space, but her weapon crushed the spell to dust. The extra sword on her belt had turned into some type of whip or chain weapon; I had never seen or heard of anything like that before. And the way it moved and glowed in my Dragon eye meant it was a dungeon item being controlled with her mana.

This one is full of surprises. But it’s all just tricks in the end.

I sent a barrage of Fireballs at her, but Zero used her new weapon to whip all my spells down before they could reach her. She sent it back with a splitting crack and sent it straight forward at blinding speed. I dodged the tip but let the razor-sharp middle part sink into my flesh.

I quickly wrapped my handless arm around it over and over again. The metal dug into me, and fresh blood drained from the new wounds. Zero tried to yank the whip back, but it only embedded itself deeper into my flesh. I forced a spell core at the tip of my spear and touched the metal.

Yellow lighting burst out and signed my flesh as Zero let out a scream. Her body went rigid, as she couldn’t let go of her weapon. I planted my feet firmly on the ground and yanked with all my might. Zero was flung off her feet toward me and, without any way to stop me, met the end of my spear. I impaled her in the stomach.

I sent an elbow from down below and connected with her jaw and mask, sending it off her face. She crumbled to the ground, her short black hair fluttered out, and her dark brown eyes rolled to the back of her head. But like a wild beast, she regained consciousness immediately and tried to free herself, but I forced my spear down and pinned her to the ground.

Zero, or should I say Tristian Relud, let out a scream of pain that was mixed with pure hatred and anger. The following words that flew out of her mouth weren’t in the Human tongue or any language of this world, for that matter. It was a language I didn’t understand but knew. The same curses I had heard in previous life emanated from her mouth.

“So, now that Zero has been defeated. What am I going to do with you, Tristian?”

Tristian continued to scream at me in the alien language of the Elunari. In truth, the only thing I felt was pity. Deep down, I knew Zero was Tristian. But to think she was an Elunari? That was unexpected. After all, there were countless races she could have been.

What are the odds? Is this some sick joke? I wonder…just how twisted is the god that reincarnated us?

“Which child were you?” I asked.

Tristian screaming didn’t stop as she looked up at me with pure, unbridled malice on her expression. Her meager bloodlust leaked out in response, but her dark eyes showed fear.

I see…twisted, indeed.