I walk away and don't look back. I stroll along the trail to my rooms hoping for some tranquility. Only Ezrix’s most trusted and talented live in the house we share. There are only four of us, Ezrix, me, Nyer Twilen, and his sister Visha Twilen.
She isn’t as useful as Nyer and I but she is his sister so Ezrix made an exception. Of course, some servants live in the house also but they are sworn to secrecy. And by sworn to secrecy I mean Ezrix threatened to send the notorious Assassin of Light after their loved ones. It's brutal but we do what we need to do to stay anonymous.
The trail is silent. No animals scurry, the wind is light, and best of all there are no other people. The trail is lined with flowers of all different colors, sizes, and types. I see my favorites and smile. I squat down in front of them and touch the petals ever so softly. Red lasidiums. I finally let out a deep breath that feels like I have been holding in for days. I watch flakes of dried blood flutter down and rest on the petals. I lean back on my heels and close my eyes. I float inside my head. For just a minute, I will let myself be empty and relax. The break is welcomed. Unfortunately, it is cut short by heavy footsteps. I smile softly. I know that there is only one person who would be brave enough to walk up on me while I’m distracted.
“How do you spy on anybody with footsteps like those?” I joke. I open my eyes and stand up. I am met with the face of Nyer Twilen.
“How do you make any friends with your constant insults?” Nyer cracks. I laugh softly. I always feel like myself around him, not just like a murderer. I miss the girl I used to be. She was carefree and childish. She loved to be around people and talk. She used to love learning and doing perfectly in her classes. She was happy.
“Now, the only person who can answer that is you, considering you are my only friend,” I say with a smile. Nyer lets out a soft laugh. He walks up to me and hugs me. He lets go and takes a step back.
“Ezrix mentioned you were back. This job only took two weeks,” he says. I sigh. Nyer is just a spy and doesn’t quite approve of killing people, even just for survival. He doesn’t look down on me for doing it, however. I sigh.
“I did what I had to do. This one was easy for me. ” I respond vaguely. I don’t like to speak too much about my assignments because I’m not very proud of what I do. But I do it to survive. He nods understandingly.
“Dinner tonight? We can catch up” he asks softly. I smile and nod letting my shoulders relax a bit. I say goodbye and continue to my rooms.
I am laying in my bed reading a book, my hair still dripping a bit from my bath when a knock on the door captures my attention. I check to make sure the small knife is strapped to my thigh. I try to keep it there at almost all times. I hop off my bed, my feet barely making a sound. I walk up to the door and look through the little hole I created. I see a small servant tapping her toe and looking around. I opened the door for her.
“Can I help you Anya?” I snip slightly annoyed. I can tell Anya is a bit surprised I know her name considering most people don’t bother learning the names of servants. But I know everyone’s names, including servants. I cock a brow waiting for her to continue. She clears her throat and starts talking.
“Sir Twilen is requesting your presence at dinner. He said it is earlier than he would like and would be strictly business since he has a last second job tonight” she tries to speak strongly but I hear a slight tremble in her voice. I am used to hearing it from most people I talk to since I mostly only talk to people who live in the house and know what I do. I can only imagine how I look to the people around me. Just a girl willing to take lives for her own comfort, a cold-blooded murderer. But I suppose those people aren’t wrong, not really. I mutter thanks to Anya and shut the door. I throw on a simple outfit and head to the game room. The game room is where Nyer and I always have dinner when we have the chance.
He is already sitting at a table filled with food. He gives me a warm smile and I return the gesture. I sit in the chair across from him. He clears his throat and reaches for a roll.
“Alright shall we begin? As you know your main mission is to kill the crown prince, His Highness Kanik Carlton” Nyer clarifies. I can’t help but let out a snicker because of the irony of using an official title for the guy I’m about to murder. Nyer glares at me and I cut it off. He has always been the proper one. He always does and says exactly as asked.
“In fear that his reign will only be destructive, the king’s younger son, Prince Harlow Carlton hired us. He doesn’t want anything messy. He wants a simple poisoning or if it must be another way, make it seem like an accident. Nothing like your trademark killings” he continues to feed me information he deems important as I ask for extra information as I feel necessary. About an hour and a half later he and I have eaten about a third of the food on the table and my head is as stuffed with information as my stomach is with food.
“This has been very informative but I should get to bed. It’s been a long day” I finally announce as I stand up. Nyer stands and gives me a quick hug.
“I will be going to bed as well,” he says. He opens the door for me as we say our goodbyes. Once I get to my room I shut the door and sigh. My body is exhausted but my mind is racing. It’s nothing new. I am used to never sleeping through the night. When you do what I do in life, sleep is just another fight. If I can fall asleep, my rest is plagued by night terrors. I may be good at spying and killing but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t haunt and lurk in my mind.
I get up and grab some sleep herbs that I rarely use because I don’t like the thought of sleeping too hard. I keep them in a small container buried beneath my clothes. I got them not long after my first job. I always vowed to not kill any man that I didn’t have to for my own survival. Little did I know that any killing tears apart your soul. Of course I was not prepared for this so the first night after my first job killing a man I awoke mere hours later with tears pouring and a cold sweat that caused my nightgown to stick to my body.
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I had gotten out of bed and wandered around the halls not sure what else to do. A servant finishing up his chores saw me. He asked if I needed anything. I had been in a bit of a haze so I just muttered that I needed sleep. He nodded and led me toward the medical room. He pulled a jar from the supply shelf. It was a jar of herbs. He told me to infuse two leaves in hot water to make tea. So I did.
I slept better that night than I thought possible. When I woke my room was spotless, I had a day outfit laid out for me, and a spread of breakfast foods on my table. At that moment I realized that as easily as they laid that fruit platter on my table it could’ve been a knife on my neck. So, I buried the herbs as low as I could and haven’t used them since.
They always linger in the back of my mind though. Or sometimes I just hold them in my hand and entertain the fancy of a good night of rest, like I am now. But I also always put them right back, like I do now. I lay down on my back in my bed. I count the lines in my ceiling, go over every detail extracted from Nyer, and count the minutes as they tick by. I do that for hours until I fall into a fitful sleep.
What feels like just mere minutes later I gasp awake, drenched in sweat, and tears dried on my cheeks. I groan and roll out of bed. I look out my window, the sunrise beautiful as always. Colors of orange, pink, and blue all blended together. I watch it until the colors fade.
Finally I stand up and get dressed. I opened up my wardrobe to see a bunch of new dresses. I fling my door open. I see a worker carrying a tray.
“Hey you!” I beckon the servant over. He quickens his pace.
“Hello Lady Achlys I was just coming to bring you breakfast. Is there something I may help you with?” he asks. I step aside and point at my open wardrobe.
“Where did those come from and how did they get there? My room is strictly off limits, especially while I’m resting. And that is for your safety not mine” I snap. I don’t take lightly to being awakened from my sleep since I’m normally in the middle of a nightmare and very easily could attack the person or even kill them.
Though I am a very light sleeper and can normally hear somebody coming before they are even at my door. I can’t fathom how someone would’ve been able to not just come in but fill my closet with dresses. He flinches a bit. I glare at him and start to tap my foot impatiently.
“Sir Ezrix had them made for you. He said you needed new ones of higher quality” the servant explains simply. I sigh. Great, I have to live hell but at least I’ll be draped in silk instead of cotton.
“That’s just wonderful” my sarcasm drips from my teeth, “but I asked how they got there. Or did you forget my rules? Would a dagger to your neck help your memory?” I sneer. The guy gulps. I smirk softly. I see beads of sweat form on the worker’s forehead and his knuckles have turned white from how hard he is gripping the breakfast tray.
“Sir Ezrix said that since you were having dinner with Sir Nyer that it was okay to go into your room” the guy says. He doesn’t stutter which I have to give him credit for but his face is red and his chest rises and falls quickly. I take the tray from him and give him a sweet smile.
“Thank you very much for breakfast Leerich” I drawl. His face changes ever so slightly and I can see the question form in his eyes. I tilt my head. He looks as if curiosity and fear are battling it out.
“Ask your question. Being bold is more respectable than cowardice” I snip. I was slightly impatient but wanted to hear what he was going to say or if he would instead just go running. He clears his throat.
“Why do you know all the servants' names? Most don’t bother” he spoke quietly and again his voice didn’t shake. I suppress a laugh and set down the tray on my desk. I walk back to the door and lean against the doorway. The wood presses into my shoulder but I don’t move or fidget. If I’m honest I’m a little surprised it took someone this long to ask. Every time over the past three years that I called a worker by their name they have given me a confused look but just scurried away.
“I am not most people, for one. And for two, if I kill one of you for crossing me I know what name to put on the tombstone” I chirp and shut the door before he can respond. I look at my tray and see strawberry-filled pastries. I smile and pick one up happily munching on it.
I think back to what I remember about the crown prince. It wasn’t much because of how young I was. The king and queen didn’t particularly like young children in the palace, save their own. But because of my father’s high status I was thrown in the playroom from time to time while my father was in meetings with the king. Kanik was there most of the time and we played together but I couldn’t visualize his face at all.
I shake my head and walk up to my wardrobe. I run a hand over the dresses. Even though I tried to pretend my taste for fine things died when I was cast from the court, the expensive fabrics running over my fingers gave me a chill of excitement.
I pull out a dark green dress with pretty embroidery on the torso. I dig in my closet for the corset I haven’t set eyes on for months. I bought it for a job a little while back. At least I had the sense to buy one I could fasten and tighten on my own. Corsets aren’t needed but make some dresses look much better.
Once I have the corset on I slip into the dress and have to contort my body in very weird positions before all of the buttons are taken care of. The bottom of it reached to the floor as it swished and swayed as I walked. I look in the mirror and let out a sound of approval. Yes, I could get used to this again. I pick up another strawberry pastry and bite into it, careful not to get anything on the dress. I brush my hair and put it into a sensible braid, no need for anything distracting right now. I notice my hands shaking ever so slightly and I scowl at the sight. A murderer’s hands shouldn’t shake. Ever. That’s all I am is a killer, a wolf assuming the role of a sheep. I finish my hair and clutch them at my sides.