The waves of the sea were endless, a constant state transitioning between highs and lows. My life (unlike the waves) was a constant downward spiral.

I scratched at an itch in a crease on the back of my hand.

My nail was gnawed short, unable to scratch properly. It had failed at the job it was built to do.

Just like me.

I stared at the nail much longer than it really took to analyze. My eyes unfocused on the carpet past it. The waves lapping up through the soggy floor of greying fibers.

The weathered planks creaked around me as the foundation of the tiny building was shifted by the water.

"You're here again." Lindsey's voice was matter-of-fact, upward inflections of barely contained exuberance that she always carried with her.

I didn't bother to look around at the short woman, her toffee brown eyes twinkling, ever twinkling. "Yes, here again. Hoping a rogue wave comes and takes me away."

"Ah." she descended gracefully across the tops of the boulders and rocks until she stood beside me, "Well, remember if you go that I get your flower collection."

I harumphed and turned back to the waves.

She sat down beside me, leaned back against my bony knee and watched the waves with me. It was several hours before she spoke again "I'd prefer you not be taken away by a rogue wave. I am rather attached to you."

"That's just because you like my cheesecake."

"Well, your cheesecake is pretty amazing, do you think if you spent more time with others that might try to avoid rogue waves?"

I shrugged "Mayhaps, though I find the companionship of others to make things worse."

"Oh?" she was clever, never pushing, never judging, allowing people to lower their defenses and unfold around her. Even someone as untrusting as myself couldn't help but talk to her. She could have been something truly amazing, a governor, politician, head of a company, or a world renowned mental health professional. Instead she was wasting her time. Wasting her time here with me.

"People complicate things, if I say hi to one person they expect that next time I will say hi. Or if I let them talk about their troubles they now expect that they can talk about their troubles all the time."

"Aw, you do tend to be more self aware than is healthy." she noted.

I tried to scratch at the crease on my finger again, again the fingernail failed me. "Humans were never meant to evolve to our level of self-awareness, our primal minds have attached self preservation to things that have no intrinsic value."

"This is why I love spending time with you, makes it easy to think." she leaned back rubbed my knee, a habitual action she always did when we sat like this. Nothing romantic in it, she and I were both not interested in that type of stuff.

"I find I just go in circles." I grumbled. "No point in talking."

Lindsey caught a bit of sea foam in her hand and watched as the bubbles popped "That is the point, Lloyd."

"What?" I asked, lost in my own musings.

"The circles, the entire point of life is to go in circles." She made a circling motion with her sea soaked finger "That is the point of humanity and ourselves we go in circles and we can enjoy it."

"Humanity (much like myself) is circling the drain, waiting to be removed from the equation."

"Ever focused on the end." the woman murmured

I ignored her words, interjecting my own "Is it suicide if you are just waiting for life end?"

"Is that a real question?" she asked, knowing the answer. "Or is it an attempt to shock me?"

"Maybe a little bit of both." I admitted, taking a bite of my jerky. "Don't you have a bar to be tending, dear?"

"Oh, I do, but I saw one of my regulars was out here soaking his feet and wanted to say hi."

"As you are fully aware. In the fifteen years I've been here I have never been inside your bar." I snapped the last words.

She didn't notice the tone "One day I'll lure you in and then we will get you a drink, hear you sing karaoke and watch as you attempt to dance with a cowboy shuffle."

My voice was soft (almost lost among the lapping waves) "You know I'll never do that."

"I know." she whispered back.

We sat there until after the sunset, I was not a fan of human intimacy or connections, and yet here I sat with the same woman every night.

Some friends we find due to mutual interests, some we become friends because of location or the same jobs. Others were like Lindsey, forcing themselves onto others lives, crashing into them like a wrecking ball and forcing their way inside.

Me, I was her friend because...

I had no clue why.

Maybe she liked trying to save others.

Maybe she was doing it for karma.

Maybe she enjoyed watching my life burn like a house fire.