Having never been on a cruise, Jerry spent Saturday researching what to expect and to bring. He ordered some items he saw in ads fully aware that he would be punished for the next two weeks by a tsunami of video, email, and text-based ads for similar products.

Sunday morning, he took three automated buses to get to the docks and by the afternoon he was checked in on the cruise ship. Before guests could attend dinner, they had to go to the Observation Deck to receive a physical meal ticket. Jerry followed a meandering crowd of passengers until they found a crew member holding a fistful of tickets.

The man spoke in a loud, monotone voice. “Good evening, passengers. My name is First Mate O’Leary, and I will be giving the mandatory safety briefing. In the unlikely event of an emergency, an alarm will sound. Immediately proceed to the nearest assembly area. Bring only your ID with you. This vessel is equipped with life jacket and life raft stations on all upper decks. Lifeboats are available on lower decks to our aft and rear at the bow and stern. Crewmembers at the port and starboard gantries will provide further instruction. The complimentary Shipboard Life app includes basic maps of the ship. For head-of-line entertainment privileges and advanced sea survival tutorials, purchase the Caribe Cruise Survival app for $99.95. Since there are no further questions, here are your meal tickets. Please enjoy your cruise.”

The group moved en masse to the dining room, where they were seated together.

“Did anyone understand what he said?” asked an older man.

“Something about a bow and a rear raft,” replied a young woman.

Her male companion replied, “They talk that way on purpose so you buy their app. It’s a money grab. I’ve been on five cruises without an emergency.”

The knot in Jerry’s stomach unraveled. Thank goodness. I don’t have $100 to spare, anyway.

As the ship left the harbor, Jerry stood on the Observation Deck with the others and watched the city lights disappear below the horizon. With nothing but open ocean ahead, the passengers scattered to find other amusements.

Jerry strolled about the ship, looking for something to do. Everywhere he went, a large tour group of adults and children controlled all the entertainment areas through their physical presence and loudness. Rather than wait in lines, he made his way to his stateroom and watched a movie before calling it a night.

* * *

He’d forgotten to switch to vacation mode, so his implant forced him awake early the next morning. His stomach grumbling, he made his way to the dining hall for breakfast. The large tour group filled half the room. The other half was sparsely populated, and he was seated with a lovely woman about his age.

“Hi, I’m Chloe,” she said with a smile.

“Good morning. I’m Jerry. Are we allowed to be in here without attending another briefing?”

Chloe laughed. “Fortunately, there’s only one briefing per cruise.”

“That’s good to know. Have you been on other cruises?”

She rested her hand on the table where it was almost touching his. “I have. What compelled you to make this your first?”

“Prize for a contest at work. I’m a customer service representative.”

Her eyes lit up and she gave him a warm smile. “A very good one it sounds like. I like people who are good at what they do.”

Is she flirting with me? “What, uh, what is it you do?”

Chloe locked her gaze to his. “I’m a short-form video producer.” Her smile never wavered.

She’s here alone so maybe I am just that lucky. An ad appeared for the flower shop on the promenade.

“Everything OK?”

Oh, shoot. I let the ad go too long. She must think I have a basic implant. He double tapped his finger. “Sorry about that. I enabled ads from the ship but forgot to move the window and it covered your face.”

“Do you need me to move?”

“No. I went into the options and changed it. I didn’t mean to take so long. What did I miss?”

“Just my face, apparently,” she said and chuckled. “You didn’t miss anything. I was boring you with my job.”

She’s definitely sending strong signals.

An ad popped up and the female voiceover said, “The general store at the Promenade Shops has everything you need for the perfect shipboard romance.”

Jerry fumbled to close the ad, his ears burning red hot. Fortunately, the large group became raucous enough to divert Chloe’s attention.

The noise returned to a low rumble, and she turned her attention back to him. “Do you know who that is?” she said, while nodding toward the group.

“No. I figured out they’re on a family vacation of some sort.”

“It’s a quinceañera for the daughter of Enrico Florenza.”

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“Florenza? As in the head of the Venezuelan drug cartel?”

“That’s what I heard. They seem like nice people, but you never know. I heard he's in a drug war with the Colombians."

"I saw something about that in the news. We're at sea so no chance of a drive-by shooting. Probably a good idea to avoid them all the same."

"I’m lucky there’s someone here to protect me if things get rough.” Her smile widened further and her eyes glowed.

His heart pounded. Praise the heavens they gave me the ticket instead of a bonus. He leaned forward. “Would you like--”

“And there she is now, my protector.”

A trim, muscular woman walked up from behind him. She was in workout attire. Her body glistened with sweat. She strode over to Chloe, leaned over, and gave her a kiss. “Morning, babe.”

“This is my work and life partner, Allison. She’s the best short-form scriptwriter in the business.” Chloe reached out to rest her hand on his forearm. “I’m sorry. You were about to say something.”

Jerry panicked, grabbed his orange juice, and gulped down the last of it. “I, uh, was asking if you would like another glass of juice.”

“How kind of you, but no thanks. Allison, this is Jerry, and he won a work contest as a customer service rep. I’m thinking he could be our third member.”

Allison looked Jerry over and asked, “Do you feel comfortable performing in front of a crowd?”

“Certainly. I worked two sales jobs before my current job. What is this about?”

Chloe flashed him another warm smile. “On the last night of the cruise, there’s a talent show where passengers act out plays or stand-up comedy routines. The members of the winning team are awarded annual subscription licenses for their implants.”

Allison gave him a hard glare. “We’ve won on our last two cruises. Unfortunately, the other member of our trio couldn’t make the cruise. We’re counting on you.” She gave his shoulder a firm grip. “I sense you’ll do your best to make my Chloe happy.”

He wanted to make Chloe happy too, but the prize for winning sealed the deal. “Of course. I’d be crazy not to join such a winning team. I look forward to seeing what you write.”

Chloe stood and wrapped an arm around Allison. “We should get showered and dressed for the morning group activity.” She offered Jerry her free hand. “I’m glad you joined our team, Jerry. I look forward to spending more time together.”

Jerry shook her hand and then headed for a secluded deck railing on the opposite end of the ship from the group activities.

* * *

Boy, did I ever call that wrong. She’s obviously out of my social class, anyway. Still, I got lucky to join them for the talent show. I can’t believe it, a license is finally within reach.

Alone in his thoughts, he stood and watched the ship’s wake ripple off into the distance. A lone seagull wheeled in the sky overhead, circling over a curious dark object in the water.

Hoping to see a whale breach the surface, instead a garage-built narco-submarine rose out of the sea. The hatch on top opened. Two men climbed out and hoisted the banner of a Columbian cartel. The fiercest rival of the Venezuelan cartel.

The men opened a large set of hatches on the deck of the sub. They struggled with three long cylindrical objects and dropped them into the water. One of the men held a remote-control rig and worked its controls. The three cylinders sped away. Each headed for different destinations that intersected with the hull of the ship.

Incredulous, Jerry watched as all three cylinders pierced the hull at the waterline. He didn’t have time to comprehend what they were when massive explosions ripped the ship apart. Before he realized what had happened, his implant took control of his motor functions. It pushed him to a life raft dispenser. Feeling like a marionette, he watched his hands grab a life preserver, press the life raft release, and then jump overboard.

Control of his body returned after he dragged himself onto the now inflated rubber life raft. He watched in horror as massive sections of the cruise ship plummeted beneath the waves, creating whirlpools of flotsam and jetsam. The whirlpools dragged his life raft in a large circle that pushed it toward the narco-sub.

The submarine trawled the water while the man on deck searched for survivors. Jerry waved as the paths of his life raft and the sub intersected. The man waited until the raft bumped against the sub’s hull. He kicked the life raft away as he pointed to the distant horizon and said, “Los Estados Unidos.”

Jerry pleaded, “Wait, I don’t know how to operate this thing.”

The man was expressionless as he said, “Buena suerte, gringo.” He turned and yelled something into the submarine.

The sub changed course. As Jerry drifted in the opposite direction, he watched it approach the only multi-passenger lifeboat that hadn’t sunk with the cruise ship. The man on the sub jumped into the lifeboat. There were screams and shouting in Spanish, followed by gunshots. The man exited the lifeboat and boarded the submarine.

Jerry’s heart rate spiked. Oh god, he killed those people. What if he realizes I’m a witness? He looked around the tiny life raft, but found nothing he could use as a weapon. Seconds later, the submarine dove beneath the surface and relief washed over him. Only now was he aware of the cacophony raised by seagulls wheeling overhead and diving at the water.

A distant sound caught his attention. Is that a human voice? He stood and shouted, “Over here. If you can hear me, swim this way. I have a life raft.” There was no response. He repeated calling out. No one came swimming and the sound didn’t repeat.

“Now what? Do I wait to be rescued?” Rather than supply information, his implant displayed a satisfaction survey.

“One star. Would not recommend Caribe Cruises to my friends. How do I get back home?”

The website for Sargasso Shiplines filled his vision. A chatbot avatar appeared. “How may I assist you?” it asked.

“I’ve been shipwrecked and need to be rescued.”

“I’m sorry. All guests are responsible for transportation to and from the ship.”

“Useless bot.” Jerry recalled the magical incantation his company needed when customers wanted to speak with a service representative like himself. “I wish to make a purchase. Connect me with a live representative.”

The chatbot disappeared and a human voice came on the line. “Hello, my name is Sharon. How may I help you?”

“Sharon, are you the new hire? It’s Jerry Sanderson from row thirty-six. I won the Customer Rep of the Year Award last week.”

“Hello, Mr. Sanderson. What can I help you with?”

“The cruise ship I was on sank. I need someone to rescue me.”

“Where are you now, sir?”

“I’m on a life raft in the middle of the ocean.”

“I’m sorry to hear that and understand your frustration. However, according to our policy, I can only help customers who are aboard the ship. Is there anything else I can help with today?”

“The ship sank. It’s gone. Everyone is dead. I need you to send help.”

“I’m sorry, but my script says--”

“Sharon, I promise to give you a perfect customer satisfaction rating if you will transfer me to Francisco Garza, extension 4198.”

“Why thank you. Please hold.”

The hold music that haunted his work hours now sounded like a heavenly choir. Francisco would come on the line and take care of everything.

The music continued to play.

Seconds seemed to stretch into hours.

A click and then, “Hello, this is Francisco with Sargasso Shiplines.”

The line went dead.

A flashing message filled Jerry’s vision.

MONTHLY ROAMING MINUTES EXCEEDED. CALL CUSTOMER SERVICE TO UPGRADE PHONE PLAN.

Jerry pressed the call button beneath the message.

The screen repeated, MONTHLY ROAMING MINUTES EXCEEDED.

“Don’t give me that. If you still have a signal for ads, you can make a call.” His implant repeated the message. Defeated, he slumped against the side of the life raft and stared into space until he drifted off to sleep.