I guess this will serve as the introduction to our story. Mine specifically as we go along the way. Who knows who will actually find this, maybe aliens. Maybe you are the alien...

No matter, it's not like who reads this will be important anyway. Just the idea of being heard will be enough for me. Well, this introduction is a bit rude. I apologize. I'm not trying to come off as likeable, but that isn't an excuse for rudeness.

Hi. My name, my actual name is Apricot. God-given according to my parents, but I honestly just think that it's just an excuse because they didn't have spend enough time picking out a better one. You can't even make a good nickname out of it.

How would you even split that up? Apri? Pri? Cot? Pric? (I agree with the last one).

Either way it sounds stupid. My parents agreed, they nicknamed me Jel. Short for the apricot jello that my mom ate when she was pregnant with me. That's all she ate, all day. Jello.

What else is there to say... I would shake your hand if I could. In my minds eye, Alien, we are sitting across from each other drinking tea with those tiny tables in between us that they always show in France. I hope you don't mind me calling you that. I just have no other name. I guess I take that part from my parents. 

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Let's see, well. As much as I hate to say it, I really do like the colors yellow and orange, the colors of apricots. You would think I would have grown tired of them after seeing the colors around my house so often, but now I just associate them with found memories.

Anyway, I recently dyed the tips of my hair those colors. It was a bit hard because my hair is dark black, so I needed to bleach it. Much to my mothers horror, she's quite the traditionalist. But I think it makes my eyes pop. They're a bright aqua, I got them from my dad. I'm quite proud of them.

Hmm.. what else does one say when they are trying to introduce themselves to someone? Ah... I can give you some warnings, my red flags if you will. 

I am glad to say that I am not batshit crazy, at least one part of my isn't. But we don't speak about that part. You may not like what I do, or what I have done. We may not always see eye to eye, but I have a very passive personality you know? Despite my outward appearance I am quite naïve and trusting. Which often gets me into a bit of trouble. I bury that part though, when it gets me intro trouble, and the bad things that come of it. That goes to the other side. I do get quite manipulative as well, I'm not funny, but I can be clever.

And I've been broken so many times, that I've lost track, of whether or not a piece of myself is part of the whole or part of the crack.

I can't help but smile though. I think this may be the start of something amazing and new.

But what do you think Alien? Who are you? What do you think?

I hope we can continue this conversation again sometime. In the mindspace, right next to the Eiffel tower and a tiny table.