I put the little cigarette filled with maryseed into my mouth. Without the slightest motion from my body, it lit ablaze.

The stench of maryseed was pungent and frankly quite disgusting… but made me feel alive.

In this accursed world of mages and peril… It was hard to sit still.

Without talent, there was no opportunity for growth. Without growth, there was no opportunity for power. Without power, there was no opportunity for status. Without status, there was no opportunity for happiness. That was the kind of world I lived in.

Of course, I could care less.

I had left that life years ago.

I eyed the countryside that I had settled into. It was strange to me, a place where no mage had tread before. The children did not even know what magic was… it was simply a fascination that they had heard once or twice.

Rather than by subjugation or theft, this village made a living by selling maryseed--which was a commodity. It wasn’t hard to see why it was so valuable. It could act as a stimulant, medicine, and above all, it was addictive.

I put the cigarette of maryseed back to my mouth, relishing in its warm embrace.

I exhaled the green mist that collected in my throat and mouth, feeling as light as a feather.

There probably wasn’t a single mage who knew of the wonder of maryseed. After all, most of them were stuck-up wolves always seeking to seize status and expand influence.

I rejected that.

This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

I found something to be content with, away from all that.

“Running away was the best decision I made in my life,” I said, smiling with a sense of satisfaction.

A flock of children playing some game ran together past me, without bothering to take a look at me--just another man of the village.

One boy stopped, and stared me in the eye.

I exhaled the smoke of the maryseed.

The boy swatted the green smoke away, he coughed once, “Hey old man!” He pointed at the roll of maryseed burning on my mouth, “You know that’s bad for you right?”

I chuckled, “Maryseed has properties of healing. It’s not as bad as you think,” I said, “Besides, I’m not an old man. I’m twenty-eight.”

He didn’t relent, “My father told me that maryseed is a poison to those who consume it.”

“There’s some truth to that,” I puffed the maryseed, not explaining further, “If you don’t like the mist of the maryseed, then go play with your friends.”

The blond boy walked away, his eyes still on me.

I lowered my cigarette, “That boy… he thinks he knows more about maryseed than I do?” It was a little infuriating. However, despite my thoughts, I threw the roll of maryseed on the ground, despite the blaze still continuing, smushing it with the sole of my shoe.

“I can’t help but dislike children sometimes,” I muttered, “Showing care to a person that doesn’t even want to show it to themself…” I sighed, dropping my facade of self-satisfaction.

The life I had found in the village was better--it really was. The problem was me. I couldn't get used to it.

After a life of constant stress, the sudden relief from it was paradoxically just as crushing.

Without the mist of the maryseed to comfort me, I was left alone with my thoughts.

I stared at the floor for a moment, as if looking at a reflection of myself.

The silence was too unnerving to handle.

I pulled a hand to my back pocket, retrieving a roll of maryseed, and I lit it with the slightest thought.

Hah… I really was hopeless, huh?