"OOOYE!"

THWACK!!!

Insert Tom and Jerry scream here -> https://youtu.be/5ynslUS4vvM

"Ehehehehehehe."

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR YA STUPID SHITSTAIN?"

"Ye left yur ass~ hangin out in da breeez~. Ehehe"

THWACK!!!

"FUCK you Kups!"

A decently tall man, wiry and lacking in muscle, slid off of his bunk and hopped around caressing his bum. His brother supported himself against a pillar as he held his cheek, which was now very rapidly swelling and bright red.

"Would you two keep it quiet down there?" The brother on the third bunk propped his head on his elbow as he looked down. "I won't be able to woo any maidens if I don't get my beauty sleep."

"Shut it Lebby."

"You woulda been first if I could reach you horny bastard."

"What did I ever do to deserve this level of disrespect?" Lebenstrum feigned indignance as he fanned himself with his other hand. "Oh mother, if you could see your babies now! So ungrateful! So rude!"

"Hey Pongratz, remind me whose fault it is that we are is such hot water to begin with?" The brother holding his face asked his previous victim managed to get his words out despite the swelling.

"I can't remember, but I think he abused his eldest sibling privileges to get the top bunk."

"I would never do such a thing . . . without good reason. And that good reason is that I won't risk some fair maiden becoming injured because she hit her head on the frame of the bunk above her!"

The two on the ground shared a knowing glance before nodding.

"H-hey, what are you two doing?"

They had moved to lay only their backs on the second row of bunks, feet still on the ground as they faced the bottom of the top bunk. Grunting, they put their hands against it -

""3 2 1 PUSH!""

- and Lebenstrum came tumbling to the floor.

"OW! Fuckers!"

"Don't give us that shit!"

"You deserved it."

Lebenstrum squeezed his elbow as he stumbled to his feet. Now all three of them were hurting.

- - - - -

A man with an eyepatch walked towards the dock of this new planet, yet to receive an official name. Accepting salutes and greetings from the construction crew as he passed, he marveled at just how much they had accomplished in one month. It was true that all of the buildings at this site could only qualify as semi-permanent, both Holifania and the Terrans not being willing to commit to any sort of urbanization until the Terrans got a good look at what they wanted, however a good portion of the nearby forest had been cleared away and a few large farms had been set up in their place.

It was a perk of Verdant Stars that crops could be grown year round with a greatly reduced growth cycle. You just needed to make sure your soil was both proper for the crop, and that it was compatible for replenishment by the planet.

"Are they inside?" He knew what ship he had to go to when he landed, there was no mistaking it when compared to the rest of the ships currently docked here, even the other 'pirate' ships.

"Aye sir. Captain's cabin, just woke up."

"What makes you so confident?"

"Aside from the fact the town isn't on fire? I just heard 'em yelling at each other."

The man with the eyepatch sighed and shook his head. "Do they still bicker like children?"

"Children? Please don't disrespect the young! I would never compare children to them." The deckhand had a sense of humor, something which was undoubtedly a necessary quality for a crewman of the Jakobi fleet.

"Well, I guess all I can ask is that you make the most of your break."

"Eh, I plan on hitting up the bar once I'm off. I think being drunk might actually make me more intelligent at this point."

The eyepatched man placed his hand on the tired man's shoulder as he passed. He could express his condolences without words, not that it would do much good. With that out of the way and a clear destination, he marched his way towards the stern of the ship. This was their break, true, and his presence today wasn't exactly announced, but he wished they could have been a little bit more professional about all of this. Hand on his sword's handle he kicked open their door, only to be met with a truly peculiar sight.

"What the fuck is going on here?!"

The youngest brother, Pongratz, was in the middle of trying to shuffle his pants on. He wasn't done yet, however he was wearing a thong. Under most circumstances this would not be particularly disturbing, by all rights this is where he would do something like that, however the hand shaped bruise displayed clearly on his right ass cheek certainly raised some questions.

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Kuppr, the middle child, displayed a similar category of wound, one half of his face swollen to the point where he struggled to get his head through his shoulder. From the looks of it he was probably the inciter of this whole debacle, he usually was, which ironically made him the least problematic of the three. In comparison to a rampant adulterer and an overenthusiastic duelist, internal disputes were easily handled.

That said, he had no idea why the eldest brother, Lebenstrum, was sprawled out on the floor.

"Huh?" "Who-" "Sir!"

Three different responses from three different types of idiot. Pongratz could at least act like a soldier, though the rest scrambled to get into a proper salute. Lebenstrum felt the need to cover his crotch with the blanket on the ground.

"I want you imbeciles dressed and at my office in ten minutes, am I understood?"

"You got an office big man?" Kuppr wasn't exactly one to submit to authority, however he would still give the man before him the bare minimum of respect.

"I'm the poor sod who was tasked with overseeing this operation. What do you think that means for the three of you?"

Lebenstrum's expression sank. "Here I was thinking I would be able to take a break for a bit."

"You just want to harass the women on base."

"That or he's scared of going back up there. He's got a bit of a bounty on his head right now, and I'm not talking about the head attached to his shoulders." Lebestrum shivered a bit at Kuppr's reminder. He now had to live with the fact that there was an incredibly powerful person out there that wanted nothing more than to see him dead or imprisoned.

"How topical. I am going to give you boys a lecture about how much that sort of action will not be tolerated by your new supreme commander." The eye patched man tapped the sword at his waist. "Understand that he has no qualms with executing you three."

"We'll be there in ten, sir." Now all of them were shivering.

- - - - -

"So . . . they want us to act like pirates?" Kuppr wasn't alone in his confusion, he was just the only one ignorant to ask why.

"Yes. Until the time is right, you are not to be told why, however their primary objective for the moment is to secure as much long range transportation as is physically possible."

"Yeah, but, can't we like, build them? Sepp?"

"I am to be called sir here, thank you very much, and no. They need them now before it is too late. The time it will take us to construct a fleet will render that fleet useless by the time they leave the docks."

Pongratz rolled back onto his heels as he squinted towards the ceiling, mouth ever so slightly ajar as he thought.

"So they are resorting to theft? Piracy?" Lebenstrum understood the logic behind it, but that didn't mean he thought it was a good idea.

Sepp snapped his fingers. "No, you guys will simply be recovering and repurposing abandoned vessels. They are upstanding individuals, they would never endorse piracy."

"Okay, but where are we going to find ships to recover? It isn't like people abandon them all that often." Kuppr was slapped upside the head by both of his brothers simultaneously in short order.

"No you idiot! He is telling us to be discreet about it!" Pongratz was usually the one to correct his brothers, despite being the youngest he was by and large the most professional. That didn't mean he was flawless though. "We're still going to steal ships, they just want to be able to say they found them abandoned!"

"But they aren't going to be abandoned? We're stealing them and handing them over, right?"

Seppard could not believe that this man was one of the top five graduates from the Sanctum's naval academy. Was it possible for someone to be this clueless. Regardless, Kuppr received an elbow to the gut.

"Yeah, they are going to lie you fucking retard!"

"But Commandant Seppard just told us about how righteous and upstanding they are!"

"Just drop it!" The Commandant understood that the best way to stop this cavalcade of stupidity was to abuse his authority. "They want you to seize ships capable of long voyages for them, so you will seize the ships they need."

"Excuse me, Commandant, but might I inquire how long of a voyage they need to be able to endure? Supply is what is limited here, correct?" Lebenstrum just wanted to get out of here so he could continue his purposely doomed attempts at romance. From experience, the best way to do that was to play along.

"About two months on a one way trip by Holifanian standard, however I am certain we can make a few modifications to the holds of ships to increase the resources at their disposal."

"What of crew and cargo?"

"Trophy rules are completely different this time around you three, and I am sorry to say that your plunder will have to first be brought back here. Wealth and goods are something they need right now." Seppard pulled a knife from his waistband to open up some letter from his own superiors. "As for crew, they are to be given the opportunity to become subjects of the Terrans. Try not to kill them if possible, however I don't think that they will shed too many tears for those that resist or decline. It isn't like they need to know that information anyways . . ."

Lebenstrum was visibly upset about not being able to retain his plunder, however Pongratz seemed a little upset about the no wanton slaughter rule. Kuppr just nodded along. These terms were good for him.

"How many ships will be at our disposal?" Pongratz was now far more interested in how difficult his job was going to be.

"The Beacons have authorized you to be supplied with an additional forty raider type vessels to complement your current ten ships. You are expected to maintain a full trophy crew so that you may maximize seizures."

"Fifty!?" Kuppr was first to respond. "Do you want to start a war or something?"

"I'll be honest sir, I don't think we can make that many useful with our current tactics." Pongratz immediately came to the conclusion that some things just weren't going to work out like central thought. "You of all people should know how hard it is to keep a fleet organized, but I don't think you quite understand how chaotic it gets with raider tactics."

"Then split them up. There are three of you, aren't there? Don't you have subordinates you can trust?" Seppard brandished his knife as he continued to read the letter. "Look, I'll be completely honest here. These ships that you are seizing are going to save more lives than the people they carry on board. I don't care how you get them, the beacons don't care how you get them, the Terran's especially don't care how you get them, so long as at the end of the day there are more ships at their disposal than there are right now. We have entrusted you three to do it because you know how, and because it won't be nearly as suspicious."

"Wait, the beacons don't care how we get our hands on them?" Lebenstrum was well and truly taken aback by this revelation. "The same beacons that have been riding our asses since day one in order to keep us from getting too aggressive?"

"Yes, now get out of here. I've got a construction operation to run."

- - - - -

The three of them marched in unison back towards the pier, each taking particular note of the day's weather. It was sunny, yes, but it didn't look like it was going to stay that way.

"Rain?" Pongratz rubbed the bridge of his nose, trying to simulate it to get a better read.

"Heavy rain." Lebenstrum elaborated on his brother's prediction. They were going to have to warn everybody to take precautions. "Kups?"

"Hmmm, mmmm, sniff sniff. Smells a lot more like a thunderstorm or typhoon to me." Kuppr held his palm to the horizon, thumb out at a right angle. "Looks like three to four hours out?"

The other two sighed, not nearly as enthusiastic as they had been on their march up the hill. Kuppr's nose was never wrong when it came to this sort of thing. If he said storm, always operate under the assumption there was going to be a storm. That was a rule that even applied in space.

"Well shit, I guess we are going to have to tell everybody to drop the masts then, aren't we?" Lebenstrum loathed that process, but it was necessary if they wanted to have a void worthy vessel.

"I'll go to the north pier."

"I got center."

"I'll go get us lunch."

thwack

"I'll inform the southies."