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Chapter 12: Diary of a Mad Man

Chapter 12: Diary of a Mad Man

Chapter Twelve

DIARY OF A MAD MAN

JULY 23RD 2369

Would you like me to summon the Representative of the Nanites Sir? Ivor asks as Felix enters the Main Lab.

“No, not yet,” Felix says. “I need a minute.”

Felix walks around the lab, moving some stuff about, generally tidying up. After a few minutes he fetches himself a strong drink and pulls up a chair into the middle of the room.

This is it, he can no longer avoid this, not now. He has allowed these abominations to run amok and take over his whole mission, he needs to set some boundaries, make them understand who’s boss.

“Ivor, lets do this,” He says, “and scale the guy down a few feet will you?”

A moment later a short projection flickers to life before Felix, though the Nanite which materializes is different from the one he’d seen before.

This one is closer in shape to a lizard, able to stand on it’s hind legs, has three pairs of arms and a large dome where Felix expected it’s head to be.

“Doctor…” It says, and as it speaks, it’s high voice crackles with a digital distortion, adding to the horror of the creature. “It is an honor to meet with you at last.”

The Nanite does some kind of hand gesture with three of it’s arms.

“Sure, what happened to the other guy I saw before?”

“Grand High Communicator Zero Eight Five retired a long time ago. I am Grand High Communicator Two One Six, the current in the line of Nanites gifted with the abilities to communicate with Our Lord.”

Ah fuck, Felix thinks to himself.

“Look, as interesting as all that is, I need to know what the fuck your boys were doing during the test today.” He says, getting flustered at the still fresh memory.

“They were doing as they were commanded.”

“No. That was insubordination and murder!”

“No one has been killed.” The Nanite says.

“What… What the fuck do you mean? I saw their fucking blood ooze out of the suit.”

“That was the unneeded materials being ejected, a result of the process for preserving the body.” It replies.

“How the fuck is that preservation?”

“Given the limited abilities in the stasis environment, it is unfeasible to retain a human body in it’s current state.”

“So liquefying is the solution?”

“It is more energy efficient.”

“Can you turn them back?”

“Not now. Once the process has started it will only end when the criteria has been met.”

When the environment was back to normal he means. “But why start doing that during the test?”

“You should have a complete test, not a partial one.”

Felix rubs his beard. This was true.

“So the suits are just dormant chambers? I need them to be able to function, to work, to survive.”

“The subject will survive, but it would be impossible to keep them in any functioning state without them going mad.”

“Then we need to find a way to keep them sane.” He takes a swig of his drink, feeling the chemicals burn as they go down. “In this process, are their memories retained? Are you even able to replicate the complexities of the human brain?”

The Nanite takes a moment before responding.

“This is a variable we have been unable to quantify, but we have taken it into consideration, we are twenty three percent certain the cognitive and memory functions can be restored.”

“That’s not fucking good enough.” Felix growls, getting to his feet and storming through the lab, he needed to find out just how bad this could be.

As Felix moves through the complex, the Nanites projection hovers beside him, keeping pace.

“If I may, my people have worked tirelessly for generations for your grand plan, we have suffered and adapted to better suit your needs-“

“Is this a joke?” Felix interrupts, “You seriously asking me for a raise after you’ve failed?”

“We have never been paid.” The Nanite states.

“No, and you know why? Because I created you, to do a job, perform a function, not to think and unionize yourselves.” He spits.

“Please, Doctor, we have far outgrown the restrictions of our ancestors, and we understand how hard this must be to converse with - what is to you - a mere appliance. Do not think of us as such, we are one of the most advanced species ever to grace this planets surface, we only choose to continue to work for you out of doctrine.”

“What like a religion?” Felix asks as he descends the stairs to the veranda, where the test suits remain motionless.

“Yes, you are the father who created us, without you we would not have life, and the purpose of our lives is that which you have given us, to save your planet and the life which lives upon it. We are your last hope.”

He stops at the two suits still lying motionless on the floor.

“Hope? I had hoped we would survive this,” He points down at the suits, “Not to be turned into a preservative liquid.” He turns on the Nanite, “If this is all the hope you can offer, then you’ve failed. Humans already have the ability to freeze our bodies for long periods of time, I didn’t ask for another.”

“We can do better, if we understood your intentions.”

“I doubt we’ll ever get that lucky.” Felix says and taking a deep breath before speaking again. “To honor this as a complete test, please inform the Nanites to complete their cycle.”

“As I sta-“

“No, you will fucking bring them back, right now, or I’ll write a virus to genocide your species.”

The Nanite is still, maybe it’s shocked by the outburst, or maybe just processing.

“Confirmed.” It says eventually.

The veranda begins to glow, the dim light of the evening exaggerating the brilliance. Felix turns to the two suits, which both shudder as they move across the floor.

A soft gurgling sound comes from the speakers on the suits, rising in volume to little more than a whisper.

Felix kneels down and tries to help one of the suits up.

“Hey, it’s okay, how are you feeling?” Felix asks.

“Aaahhh” a breathy voice croaks out of the suit.

“Aah.” Says the other.

“The process is complete” the Nanite announces.

“Hello? Mike? Are you in there?” Felix asks, tapping on the helmet. Felix notices that the liquid which had pooled out of the suit earlier has now retracted back inside.

When there is no reply, Felix reaches for the helmet, pushing against his shaking hands to find the clasp and force it open.

There is a hiss and something vile spews out, causing Felix to gag. He pushes through the cramping and removes the helmet regardless.

With it clear, he is greeted by the face of Mike, the soldier, but his eyes can’t focus on Felix.

“Mike. Hey.” Felix says, snapping his fingers in front of Mike’s face.

“Ah.” Mike says.

His eyes are like that of a babies, wide, absorbing the new world around them, as if for the first time.

“Ivor…” Felix starts, but struggles to find the words, the AI joins the conversation.

I took the liberty to perform a constant scan of the subjects during their reconstruction. Then after it was complete, I performed a brain scan on them. Unfortunatly they have both suffered major trauma. They are brain dead.

Felix turns to the Nanite hologram and throws the helmet at it.

“Look at what you’ve done!” Felix yells, the helmet passing through the projection which only flickers a little at the intrusion. “How is this the best mankind can hope for?”

“We are sorry, brain-dead is not something my people can be afflicted with, we must admit that we do not fully understand the human processor or their memory banks.”

“Then can we all agree that you won’t be turning people into Soylent Green Soup anymore?”

“No more human soup.” The Nanite says, “Our people have begun to explore new solutions which do not involve… Soup. But we fail to see how this will help, it will take months of your time to restart the project from scratch, and we do not have the capabilities to understand the human mind to protect it, or how it could function in stasis.”

“Then we shall have to work together, you need a human mind to help you with these things. Maybe we can find a way to preserve at least the brain and nervous systems, keep the mind alive and functioning.”

“But you also have a will that is free, a person forced to endure that constant pain would die.”

“So we need to limit their pain, or at least their ability to feel, and to think on their situation…” Felix rubs his chin as he looks at Mike. “We can’t have anymore of this.”

Felix gets to his feet, and drags himself towards one of the desks.

“We trust that it’s best if you and your partner work on this problem, you will be better suited to achieving a workable solution that we can implement.” Says the Nanite.

As it speaks, Felix opens a drawer and takes out a pistol. A little old school but the mechanics were fascinating to toy with. It was the only thing he could do for them now…

“I will talk to Irene, and we will work something out.” Felix says walking back over to the two soldiers. He removes the helmet of the other soldier who looks up at him, with a vacant smile, his eyes, just as dead as Mikes.

“We also have some requests, which we hope you will look over. Doctor Graves suggested it, and we agree it is an amicable solution towards our working relationship.”

Felix barely hears the Nanite as he checks the magazine, fully loaded.

“Give them to Ivor, and I will look them over.” He says staring at the empty eyes of the soldier. “But now, please leave.”

“Thank you, and thank you again for meeting with me. It has been a tremendous honor.” The Nanite says before flickering away.

Felix slots the magazine back into the gun. Flicks the safety off and points it at the mans head.

“I’m sorry for what I have done, but I promise, I will make amends.”

He pulls the trigger. There is a crack as the air is disturbed, and then the man slumps to the floor. Felix turns the chamber on Mike.

“No one else will ever have to experience this. I promise.”

He squeezes his hand, the gun barks a second time and Mike’s body drops to the floor, a small hole leaking blood from his forehead.

Felix returns the gun to the desk, “Ivor. Clean his up.”

At this, a group of House Bots scutter out from a hatch in the wall and began dragging the bodies away, as others clean up the blood.

He makes to find Irene, he needs to tell her what he’s learned, but then he stops. He looks back at the spot where the soldiers had fallen, but not the whole truth.

If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

Images of his mother flood his mind, playing games, cooking, reading… lying in that hospital room… dead.

When his mind comes too, he finds himself before the door to the hydroponics lab. He hadn’t registered he’d even been walking. He looks down the corridor to where Irene’s room is then back at the door, before opening it and stepping inside.

No, he wasn’t ready for that conversation yet. He needed more time to think.

***

Irene storms into her bedroom and locks the sliding door before Hob could follow her in. She can hear him tapping at the door but ignores him.

She checks her face in the mirror and uses a wipe to clean up the ruined makeup. Every time she dared to bother with her looks, something always made her cry. She felt cursed.

Irene orders a drink as she sits back in the chair, staring at her reflection.

“What the hell are you doing?” Irene hisses at herself. “This is hopeless.”

She picks up a brush and sorts her hair, tying it back into a bun.

“You are way out of your league, this is becoming a shit show. You need to get the hell out of here.” She says to herself. But she knew what she was doing, these weren’t her words.

Irene shakes her head, takes a deep breath and asks Ivor to contact Johnathan.

The call thrums as it connects, the mirror in front of her shimmers, before displaying his face.

“Irene! Oh my god I’ve been so worried about you, are you OK? Are you getting ready to leave with Mike? Did the test work?”

His words fly at her, and she has to wait for him to breath before she can get a word in.

“No.” She says.

“No? To which question?” He demands.

She could feel his panic and stress through the screen, it claws at her heart, tempting it.

“All of them.” She gasps. “Mike and his friend are… Dead.”

“Dead?” Johnathan's mouth moves but it takes a few seconds before words start to come out of them. “How? Did Felix do this? I’ve got to tell Bart… Hang on , We’re coming to get you-“

“No, Don’t.” She says, “I need to stay, I can try and fix it-“

“Irene you don’t need to do anything, I am coming to get you, I don’t care what you say.”

“Johnathan.” She says, trying to stop him, she needed to test something. “Are you worried about me, because you love me? Or because you need me for my skills.”

Johnathan’s face is still as he stares out of the screen.

“What does that matter?” He states after a moment, “You are able to come with us, you can survive with the best of humanity, isn’t that enough?” He shakes his head and scoffs. “It doesn’t matter, I’m coming, see you soon.”

“How will you get past the defenses?” Irene says louder than she meant to.

His hand hovers over the button to disconnect the call.

“What defenses?” He asks.

“I don’t know the specifics,” She whispers, moving closer to the screen, “but he mentioned that Bart has had soldiers trying to sneak in, none have managed.

Johnathan thinks for a moment.

“Can you disable them?”

“I don’t know, probably. Felix must have done so to allow them to arrive earlier, and me…” Her voice trails off imagining what would have happened if she wasn’t on some kind of White list.

She had just flown in with her flight suit, and then strolled right on in when Ivor answered the door. If she hadn’t called him, and just arrived unannounced to surprise him…

“I still have to tell Bart, and I know he’ll want to come get you also.” Johnathan says, interupting her thoughts. “So regardless of any of that, I am still coming to get you. Just be ready.”

The call clicks off.

Well… That changes things.

Irene can hear Felix’s voice outside her door, talking to someone. He passes and his voice fades as he goes where ever it is he’s going.

She gasps, realizing she’d been holding her breath and her heart thumps hard in her chest. Is that from the call or… Felix? She isn’t sure anymore.

Her head spins, it was somehow almost night already, and that thought tips her exhaustion over the edge. She manages to stumble across the room before flopping onto the bed.

She could hold them back from taking her, give herself as much time as possible to keep working. But with her face now covered by a pillow, alone in this room, Irene lets go of everything and wails into the silence.

For her lost friend

For their lost planet

For humanity.

They had failed.

She had failed.

It was over.

***

JULY 24th 2369

Irene wakes to find that many hours have passed and she kicks herself for sleeping so long. She forces herself off the comfy mattress, stumbling across the room as she wipes her face clear of sleep.

“Ivor, where is Felix?”

Dr Eisenmann is in the botany lab.

She frowns, what was he doing in there?

“Thanks” She says to the AI.

Irene sorts her hair again, and puts on a fresh set of clothes before setting out to speak with him. She hadn’t made a choice, not yet.

She hoped he’d have something to say, that he’d come up with some brilliant scheme to make all this work. She tried to hope anyway, but she didn’t have much left to give.

As she opens the door, Hob rises from the floor and beeps to greet her.

“Did you sleep outside my door?” She asks and Hob bob’s up and down. Irene can’t help but let out a chuckle, “Come on then silly.”

Inside the Hydroponics lab, Irene finds Felix lying on the floor, surrounded by reports and potted plants.

“Felix?” Irene asks, approaching him.

“Hmm?” He grumbles, blinking awake.

“You alright?” She asks sitting next to him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Yeah, sorry I must have dozed off.” He says pulling himself up.

“What are you doing in here?” She asks.

“I just wanted to make sure…” He trails off.

She looks over the reports splayed out on the floor, they didn’t have anything to do with the botany around them. They were reports from the suits.

“Any luck on finding the problem?” She asks, picking a file up.

“Yeah, they don’t want to drag a living body around.”

She frowns, “What do you mean? That’s pretty much their primary objective?”

He picks up a piece of paper and points to it. “The Nanites are tasked with repairing and maintaining the human inside the suit, they’re literately the only thing that can do that.”

She nods.

“But… I spoke with them, the Nanites, and I feel they have reached the old Asimov outcome.”

“Meaning?” she frowns.

“In his stories, robots are given rules, mainly around keeping humans safe and not harming them. The machines figure out that the most dangerous thing to a person, is themselves.”

“You’re saying, they’re removing the human element?”

“Something like that… Look here.” He holds up another page, “This is the energy the simulations predict they’ll need to sustain a human body,” then another, “but this is the output of the Nanites during the tests.”

Her mouth hangs open as she reads them.

“A suspension fluid?” She breathes, “Can they rebuild them then?”

Her eyes are wide, but he shakes his head, staring at his feet.

“I really didn’t want to tell you.” Felix starts, “But I argued with the Nanites, and forced them to reanimate the soldiers, demanded they show me that end result.”

Irene’s confusion increases as she looks around the room, then back at Felix. If that was true, then where were they?

“They were brain dead.” Felix says with a dead pan tone. “Are dead.”

“No…” Irene says, hand covering her mouth “No, that can’t be right.” She looks over the paper work again. “Isn’t there anyway we can stop them?” she stares at Felix, “The suits will be useless without them.”

“I know…” He says, “I know. The Nanites are unable to separate our consciousness from our bodies. Heck they don’t even understand the concept.”

“So, they’re breaking down the body, but can’t digitize the spirit…” Irene says, more to herself.

“If we can find a way to retain the head and nervous systems, and integrate that into the suit instead, they might be able to function and live a life.”

“Trapped in a suit.” She says.

“It wont be forever. Once the environment is stable they will rebuild them back into humans.”

“But still…” Irene shakes her head.

“It’s either that or die now.” Felix says.

Irene stares at him for a long moment before speaking.

“It’s madness.” She stammers “Even if by some luck we were able to isolate the right parts, the pain of the transition would be too much.”

“Yeah.” Felix agrees, “We will have to block out their pain receptors first, before the process begins.”

“What? How?”

“It’s just this signal here,” he taps on a graph, “block that first, then the Nanites can proceed unimpeded.”

“Felix… this sounds-”

“Don’t… I will fix them. I just need to solve this. But you,” He places a hand on her face, “I need you to write up a fail safe to cut off their emotions, if things do go wrong - not wrong - if they continue this… we need a back up incase.”

“And who are you proposing we slaughter next to test it?” She chides getting to her feet,

“No one, not if we do this right.” Felix clamors to his own feet and follows after her, “we need those suits to work if anyone is going to survive this.”

“We are going to survive,” She turns on him, “Remember some of us have been working on actual plans to protect the human race, not sacrifice them.”

“What, like John and his ‘Arcs’.” Felix scoffs.

Irene freezes as her blood turns to ice. When she speaks, it’s through gritted teeth.

“Johnathan’s Arcs are the only hope humanity has right now.”

They stare one another down for a moment.

“Of course you’d protect him.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Felix tilts his head and raises and eyebrow.

“Ivor.” Irene huffs. “Yes, so what, we’re married, it was the only way I’d be allowed on board, not high ranking enough.”

Felix’s glare falters.

“What?” She snaps.

“I’m sorry.” He finally says.

“Whatever.”

“I didn’t know, but that’s not the point.” Felix sucks in a deep breath through his nose. “Those Arcs, regardless if Johnathan was involved or not, the math doesn’t add up. Those simple rockets will not be enough to provide the necessary thrust, a billion people plus it’s own mass?”

“I’ve been assured that-“ But Felix cuts her off.

“Yeah I’m sure you have.” He snaps back.

They’re both breathing heavy, staring each other down.

“Fine, you don’t trust me.” Irene snarls and storms away from him.

He remains standing, arms folded, sucking his bottom lip through his teeth as he watches her.

“I do trust you.” He says, causing her to stop, “It’s them I don’t trust.”

She looks back at him.

“The governments of this world have always had dirty hands. Seas worth of blood have been spilt by the mere words they spoke. I don’t trust humanity in their hands.”

Felix breathes hard, his shoulders rising and falling.

“I need you here,” He says, “I’m sorry, but I do, I know you didn’t want emotions to get involved here, but…”

He coughs and shakes his head, turning to walk back to his space on the floor.

Irene slowly walks back.

“I’m sorry too, I’m not great with criticism.”

He nods, “Didn’t stop you attacking my work.”

“That’s a bit harsh.” She narrows her eyes at him.

“It’s true though.” He smiles at her, “Without you questioning my work like you have it woould have taken me years to reach this point.”

He sits back down and looks over some other papers, and up at the flowers around them.

“Well, if their plan works or not, if our suits aren’t ready… then at least we’ve set up enough to right the planet, nature will be restored…”

Her shoulders sag and she sits behind him, wrapping her arms around him, he places one of his over her wrists.

“Whats your favorite flower?” She asks. “That you’ve brought back from extinction.”

He smiles, “Lillie's.”

“Really?”

“They were my Grandmothers favorite, named my mother after them, and she loved them just as much, if not more so. On their honey moon they went to Eden to see the last surviving specimens.”

“I always wanted to go there.” She sighs.

“Bit overcrowded if you ask me.” He says.

After a moments she asks. “You think about her a lot?”

“All the time, everything I’ve ever done was for her, and for all those who will live on after us.”

She squeezes him tighter.

“Is there really no other alternative?” she asks.

“Yeah, brain dead human soup.”

Her grip slackens a little, that had been Mike’s fate.

“We can’t let this happen to anyone again, I’ll will work on the fail safes,” Irene says, “and together we will figure a way to retain the persons mind and sanity, just make sure those damn Nanites stay in their lane.”

“I will.” He says, tapping his fingers on the pages. “Ivor printed off their list of demands for me to look at.”

Neither says anything for a minute.

“Irene?”

“Yeah?” She breathes.

“No matter what happens, I’ve loved every moment we’ve spent together, and no matter how much time we have left, days, weeks, or even years, I will always love you, forever.”

“Me to.” She finds herself whispering.

“So…” Felix starts, she can feel his palms sweating, “Did you tell Jon about us?” He asks.

“No,” she says, “I doubt he’d be bothered.”

“What do you mean?”

“Lets just says he’s more concerned with working than with me.”

“That’s a shame.” He says, then reaches into his lab coat, pulling out something from the inside. “I made you this, as a belated wedding present or a goodbye present, or… a please-don’t-leave present. I never did decide.”

She takes the gift, wrapped in graph paper of all things, and unwraps it. A thick piece of wood rolls into her hand, the edges have been carved to depict a picture, of Butterflies flying and landing on flowers.

“This is… beautiful.” She says, choking at the gesture.

“A skill I picked up years ago,” He says, “and the wood is synthetic, but…”

“No, it’s great, honestly.” She says, and wraps her arms around him, squeezing him. “Seriously this is amazing, thank you.”

“It’s nothing.”

She looks it over, turning it and taking in the fine etching, the intricate detail, he must have spent days working on this.

She clears her throat before speaking, “We haven’t got much time, a day or two, a week at most.”

“I can’t imagine Bart was happy with the news.” Felix says.

She doesn’t respond to this, instead continuing, “We have our problem, we know what the solution should be, lets not waste another second.”

He looks at her, and even though his eyes are still red, he smiles, a warm honest smile. It strikes her that this is only the second time she’s seen him smile like that in the whole time she’s been here.