Quentin nearly floated away; he was so excited. When Hans shared that his siren hypothesis had worked on the squonks, the boy couldn’t stop grinning.
“If you get more ideas,” Hans said, “Don’t be shy to share them.”
Quentin nodded. Kane, standing a few paces behind Quentin, smiled as well. He was proud of his friend. Both were inspired by the development and set to work felling trees with renewed vigor. At first, Hans planned to help Roland set the cabin logs, but Becky insisted–and proved–that she was stronger than Hans.
While the hunter and the dwarf built up the walls, Hans and Olza gathered clay and dry leaves to insulate the walls. Straw would have been preferred, but the leaves would do just fine for their purposes. When one wall was set, they began slapping the mixture between and around the logs, trying to fill any crack or gap that might leak heat.
They did the same for the other walls, the floor, and the roof. With so many hands at work, the cabin exterior was complete a day and a half later.
The structure wasn’t large, but it was sufficient. As soon as they stacked stone around the foundation, the dungeon entrance would be completely obscured.
Roland volunteered for himself and the boys to stay behind. He would watch the dungeon entrance and build a fireplace from the mountain stone. For their part, Kane and Quentin were slack jawed when they realized their next job would be lugging rocks to the cabin. And to their credit, they didn’t complain, at least not in front of Hans.
Quest Complete: Help Roland complete the cabin build.
Hans, Becky, and Olza departed for Gomi.
***
“This one’s me!” Becky held up a watercolor of a dwarf sitting on a pig. She had an axe and a beard and a big smile.
While Hans was gone, Galinda must have held a watercoloring lesson for the kids because when he came back to the Guild Hall, he found nearly a dozen pieces hung all around. They featured the style typical of children, though he had a few guesses which were done by the older children, based on technique and composition.
“Here’s you!” The painting Becky pointed to featured a small man with a sword running from a giant green snake as large as the paper. The face of the snake suggested it was vicious. Hans’ face, on the other hand, was open-mouth screaming.
Who told them about the ogopogo?
The other paintings featured various people and places around Gomi, in every season. Someone painted Galinda and Charlie, and someone else did Galad.
Knowing that the guild hall still served a use in his absence warmed his trail-frozen heart, but he wished he had thought of art classes. Hans wasn’t anywhere near as skilled as Galinda, so he definitely shouldn’t teach it, but some basic drawing lessons would be incredibly useful. Adventurers often drew maps and sketched plants or monsters, and it was the kind of learning that children didn’t realize was learning. Playing with paints or pencils was plain fun.
When next he had an hour to fill, he could sit here and try to guess who made which picture. The kids might get a kick out of that too.
Going straight to bed tempted him, but he had to delay for a few more hours. He desperately needed a bath, and then he needed to meet with Galad, Charlie, Galinda, and Becky. The dungeon was officially growing aggressive monsters. They needed to know, and Gomi needed to train.
***
Everyone frowned, an odd juxtaposition with the bright and cheerful children’s drawings surrounding them in the guild hall.
“We need to start training right away,” Hans insisted.
“We know, Hans,” Galad said, “None of us wants to wait.”
“We don’t want to lie,” Galinda added while Charlie nodded.
Becky stroked her braided beard. “Seems we all agree on that.”
Hans nodded. “Becky has a point. If none of us wants to lie, we can just take it off the table completely. That narrows our options down a little bit.”
“Doesn’t make our remaining options look better, though.” Galad rubbed the bridge of his nose. “If we tell everyone, our fear of someone leaking the dungeon outside Gomi is unavoidable. We have to accept that too.”
Everyone agreed with that as well.
The room sat in silence for several minutes. Hans looked around at the goofy pictures. He knew he had to protect this place. He had to protect these people. He was building a life here. No one else wanted him, but Gomi did.
“What if we tell everyone about the dungeon?” Hans asked.
“We don’t have time to joke,” Galad said.
“I’m serious. Gomi isn’t a secret, right? It’s on the map. It pays taxes. Merchants visit. Yet the Tribe has avoided any notice or discovery.”
Charlie made a “please go on” gesture.
“People know about Gomi, but that doesn’t matter because they don’t care. They know we’re here and have no desire to visit. When I opened my academy in Hoseki, I blew a bunch of money on fliers, but nobody came. That’s the same thing. People knew it was there, and they knew they didn’t want to see it.”
“That’s kind of sad, Hans,” Becky said. Heads nodded.
“No, stop. That’s not the point. We tell everyone about it, but we make it entirely unappealing. Hear me out: ‘Hans’ Dungeon Training Academy: Complete with Hans’ Ultimate Training Dungeon.’”
The plan was simple. Well, no. The plan was outrageous and convoluted. When the snow cleared, Hans explained, they would send the letter Charlie proposed to the Adventurers’ Guild, detailing their willingness to pay Hans out of Gomi’s coffers if the Guild agreed to let Hans keep his position. At the same time, Hans would announce his brand new training facility to every chapter of the guild. Galinda immediately volunteered to design the fliers. Making art that was intentionally terrible appealed to her, and these fliers definitely needed to be awful.
With enough bad marketing on top of Hans’ less than stellar reputation, they could tell everyone about the dungeon–not in full detail, of course–and convince them it wasn’t worth visiting.
For a moment, Hans thought about how he actually wanted–and fully intended–to build a training dungeon. He already had a corridor and plans for more training aids… That wasn’t important right now.
Charlie suggested they put an outrageous fee on the flier for good measure. Becky suggested they emphasize Hans’ Gold ranking. Galad proposed they include a note that the schedule varies because of Hans’ injuries, and ‘no refunds’ if that interrupted or affected their experience in any way.
“I wish this wasn’t so easy for you guys,” Hans joked.
With a believable and very public cover, they could tell the people of Gomi the truth. They’d ask them to keep it a secret still, but when someone did leak it, they would sound unhinged. Who would ever believe that the dungeon from the cheesy fliers was an actual dungeon, complete with dungeon core?
Gods, that’s thin. So very thin.
But it was all they had, so it would have to do.
Quest Complete: Update Gomi about dungeon developments and push to begin adventurer training.
Quest Update: Solve the town secret problem without being a total conspiracy weirdo.
Quest Complete: Solve the town secret problem without being a total conspiracy weirdo.
New Quest: Figure out how to launder dungeon loot.
***
The town crammed into one of the dormitory barns on the Tribe lands. Aside from the odd spouse who stayed behind to watch their children, every household was present. They looked between one another, whispering questions and guesses, quieting when Charlie lifted his arms. Rather, Galinda lifted her arms to alert everyone that Charlie was lifting his. The lady tusk smiled down at the love of her life.
Charlie addressed the townspeople gathered that evening.
This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.
“Thank you, everyone, for being here tonight. Before I officially begin, I need to do something we’ve not done before. All of you know we don’t draw attention to the Tribe. They are our family and our neighbors, and we believe that people who don’t love Gomi like we do shouldn’t get to mess it up.”
Much of the crowd clapped, mixing in a few cheers.
“Those of you who have recently arrived, I must ask you a kindness. Our promise to shelter and feed you is not in danger, and none of us here will think less of you, but for this topic, for the sake of Gomi, we have to be guarded. If you are unsure or have already decided you intend to move on, we love you no less, but we do need to have this talk without you.”
Murmurs rippled through the townsfolk.
“This isn’t a trick or a cruel joke. I promise. We were able to shelter so many because of how we run our town. We ask this of you so that we can survive to do this for others.”
Four tusks and two humans Hans didn’t recognize sheepishly exited. Galad stood at the door to see them off, repeating Charlie’s message in his own words, and then checking with each person individually to make sure they knew they were still welcome.
That’s really smart, actually. Wow.
Hans marveled at the grace with which this was presented and handled. Leaving like that must have been uncomfortable for those six, so Galad was there to catch them. He gave them a more personal conversation where they could ask questions to better understand the caution and directly address any concerns. One tusk asked how much time he had to clear out his bed in the dormitory, and Galad immediately put his hands on the tusk’s shoulders.
“Brother, look at me,” Galad began, “Are you familiar with missions in the military? Small group of soldiers with a specific objective that no other unit knows? Every soldier in the army isn’t given the entire plan because it puts the operation at risk. It’s accepted, and they call it smart. Do you agree with that practice?”
The tusk nodded nervously.
“That’s what this is. It’s just safer for all of us. If you change your mind and want to stay, we’ll loop you in.”
The six people Galad spoke to left looking relieved and grateful.
I should just follow Galad around and learn from him. With anyone else but Charlie or Galad talking to the town, that could have gotten messy.
Yeah. I’m in the right place.
Once the crowd settled again, Charlie resumed.
“We have news that represents a threat to our way of life in Gomi, but before I share specifics, let me say that we also have a solution. It will be tough, but we see a way through, so please hold any concerns until we’ve explained. Fair?”
The crowd nodded, but many townspeople were wide-eyed and a few were pale after hearing that preamble.
Charlie told the town that a dungeon had been found at the foot of the mountains. That dungeon threatened Gomi with monsters from within and adventurers from without. To deal with the monsters, he proposed they train their own adventurers. To keep outside adventurers away, he proposed they advertise a dungeon so terrible that no one would want to visit Gomi.
Most everyone seemed perplexed about that idea, whispering to one another.
Seeing this, Charlie told a detailed story of how Hans opened a training facility in Hoseki and that no one came to classes because nobody wanted to train with a Gold-ranked instructor. He revealed that the venture had been such a colossal failure that Hans’ adventurer fortune was lost, leaving him destitute. To further emphasize Hans’ lack of appeal, he read the letter the Guild sent about Hans’ potential removal.
“If we put Hans’ name on the dungeon, nobody will want to come to Gomi ever again.”
Hans wasn’t sure he liked how quickly everyone agreed with the logic.
One person raised a hand and suggested that they submit fake reviews to town papers. If they got printed, they would further convince people that Hans’ Ultimate Training Dungeon was awful. Another suggested the town make sure to complain about Hans in front of the merchants to drive word-of-mouth rumors. A final person added that they should arm any of Gomi’s traveling citizens with fresh stories about how bad the Academy was.
When the room had settled again, Charlie continued, “We debated for many hours how best to handle this, but we all agreed that our neighbors deserved to know the truth. If someone spreads this conversation beyond this room, it puts all of us at risk. We felt keeping your trust was worth that risk.”
Clapping erupted again. Charlie quieted the crowd and invited Hans to the front to speak.
“You all were a little too quick to go with the ‘Hans sucks’ plan,” Hans said with a smirk.
The crowd laughed. He laughed with them.
“As Charlie said, we need to train adventurers. This doesn’t change any of the classes we are doing now. You don’t have to become an adventurer if you train. Kids, adults, whatever Charlie is, you’re still welcome.”
Charlie laughed the loudest at that and gave Hans a nod as the crowd calmed.
Hans explained that becoming a Gomi adventurer was like helping the Tribe to brew and sell beer. No one was obligated to do either, but if you spent your time helping in those ways instead of growing or hunting your own food, you’d be taken care of. Just like every other worker was taken care of. He spoke openly about the dangers of adventuring, including the possibility of death. He also made sure everyone understood that managing the dungeon would mean regular postings at the dungeon entrance, likely for several days or weeks at a time.
He talked about a story he heard, about how Gomi had a few exceptional growing seasons when the rest of the kingdom faced droughts. As a result, beer was harder to come by for many taverns, so the Tribe made a greater profit. All of that profit went into the Tribe coffers, and they voted as a group how to spend it. The bulk of it went toward medicinal supplies, repairing or replacing farm equipment, and a batch of new books to share amongst themselves.
The dungeon would work the same way. All of the profit would be reinvested in Gomi with the direction and approval of its citizens.
“Let me be absolutely clear,” Hans said. “Listen closely now: adventurers aren’t entitled to more because they are adventurers. You’ll get the same pay as the brewery folk. We’ll provide the equipment and the training, so you won’t have to do that from your pocket. Does everyone understand what I’m saying? Only volunteer to be an adventurer because it’s what you want to do. Nobody can cry about how hard it is later.”
That got more laughs.
Hans said they would start training tomorrow, but Gomi wouldn’t ask for a firm commitment from anyone for seven days. Whether they started training and realized it wasn’t for them, or they decided on the seventh day they wanted to join even if they hadn’t attended any training sessions so far, the decision to commit was theirs. So give the choice time and thought.
Charlie returned to his spot in the front, saying he would take general questions for as long as it took to answer every one. After that, Hans would answer questions from anyone wanting to know more about the adventuring option.
Some of the questions they got included:
“What if monsters escape the dungeon?”
In addition to guarding the dungeon at all times, they planned to build failsafes into their security. If one gate failed, for example, the monsters would need to get through a second if not a third. For additional protection, they intended to build a wall around Gomi and another around the barns on the Tribe lands. If they needed protection for any reason, monster or otherwise, they would have a place to go and their own gates to close.
“What if adventurers come anyway?”
They would see the Gomi guild hall and would be welcome to train with Hans as long as they’d like. Unless the adventurers had specific knowledge of the dungeon, continuing to let Gomi be Gomi was least likely to raise suspicions. With enough talk about the snow and complaints about the town’s lack of beer, the adventurers would move on. If they came at all in the first place.
“Are there squonks in the woods right now?”
Becky’s scouting suggested that no, there weren’t any squonks in the forest. The squonks that escaped previously were killed by Becky and Hans, and neither Becky, Hans, or any of Gomi’s hunters had reported seeing any hint of wild squonks. Caution was still advised.
“Do I have to live in Gomi forever?”
Of course not. No one signed their life away with this plan. If anyone decided to move on, that was their business, and they’d always be welcome back. Gomi would ask, of course, that they keep the dungeon in confidence. If the truth slipped out of anyone’s mouth by mistake, the public knowledge of Hans’ Ultimate Training Dungeon would give them an out. When they said dungeon, they didn’t mean a real dungeon. They meant Hans’ prop dungeon in the training yard.
“Will travel in and out of Gomi be restricted?”
Not at all. Prior to the dungeon discovery, any tusk who left Gomi was asked to give a different hometown if anyone wanted to know where they were from. 100 Gomi tusks could be traveling the kingdom, but no one would connect them to Gomi if everyone did their part. That plan hadn’t changed, and it had worked well thus far. Over the years, a few tusks left to study at university but returned home to Gomi without issue, for example. Conflicts weren’t as tense then, but the world might return to sanity in time.
“What if the dungeon plan doesn’t work?”
Gomi would do everything it could to maintain peace and autonomy. If that didn’t work, the choice would be the one they always would have had if something went bad, dungeon or not: fight or flee.
“How are we going to sell the dungeon loot?”
That part of the plan was a work in progress, and ideas were welcome.
“What happens if enchanted weapons are found, or an extremely rare item is found?”
The current answer was still a proposal the town needed to review and agree on. That proposal suggested the town keep anything that could be used to protect adventurers or Gomi. Magic weapons and the like would be stored in a town armory and loaned to adventurers as needed. If they needed to defend Gomi, that same armory would be used to arm as many people as they could with exceptional gear. Hans cautioned everyone not to get too excited because finding those kinds of items was incredibly rare. Even if they got all of the loot from the dungeon for the next ten years, they’d likely only have seven or eight items to loan.
They were more likely to come across smaller enchantments or rare ingredients. In both cases, if Gomi could use it, the town would keep it. Anything that Gomi couldn’t use would be sold as discussed.
The questions continued about this or that nuance, but the biggest concerns seemed thoroughly addressed, to Hans at least.
As much of the crowd filed out of the barn, talking amongst themselves, Hans prepared to answer questions from prospective adventurers.
***
Open Quests (Ordered from Old to New):
Progress from Gold-ranked to Diamond-ranked.
Mend the rift with Devon.
Complete the manuscript for "The Next Generation: A Teaching Methodology for Training Adventurers."
Expand the Gomi training area to include ramps for footwork drills.
Design a system for training dungeon awareness.
Research the history and legends of the Dead End Mountains, more.
Protect Gomi.
Train Gomi adventurers to keep the dungeon at bay.
Design the ultimate strategy for hunting squonks.
Pick a secret passage design for the cabin. Bonus Objective: Make it cooler than a bookshelf door.
Figure out how to launder dungeon loot.