List of major changes for Daybreak rewrite (and some examples)
Chapters most heavily affected - v1ch2 to v1ch5, v1ch8, v2ch7
1. Kaede is not a literal loli. It seems my choice of words made some readers gain this impression -- an extremely mistaken one that seems to have been reinforced by some unfortunate choice of adjectives on my part across the chapters. Kaede's body is a girl who is small of build and short of stature, not a "12 years old girl" as some claims. The new version will explicitly note that her body looks "around 16" and subsequent references that contributed to the mistaken impression have been addressed.
2. All the earlier chapters focus much more heavily on Kaede's motivations, such as her fears that she might be tossed out with nothing to live off of, her realization that Pascal seems to be the only person in this world who gives a care if she lives or dies, etc. I had written this story thinking such details should be apparent to most readers. That a real, rationally-minded individual would know to act with care in Kaede's shoes. Instead I get a ton of people complaining that Kaede is "too passive" simply because she always thinks through her situation and keeps the bad outcomes in mind.
I guess when readers are used to reading the power-fantasies that dominate the isekai genre (and especially this site), one stops thinking about the characters' basic needs and concerns like homelessness, starvation, or the myriad of other ways to get a 'bad end'.
For example, an excerpt of added bits in v1ch3
> Kaede had no money, no property, not even a trade that could be practiced in this completely foreign world. With the arrival of winter just around the corner -- she would likely starve or freeze to death as a homeless girl!
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> And even if Kaede could find shelter, what then? She was a girl now, and one of weak build at that. Even modern Earth had plenty of people who preyed on girls like her. If she didn't be careful, she'd find herself being trafficked and sold off to a brothel!
Another one from v1ch3. Honestly one of the reasons I dislike pop media is that it fills our heads with silly, irrational ideas. No, lashing out at someone because they did you wrong doesn't show "strength", merely a lack of self-control...
> Kaede had always considered herself a levelheaded person, who used communication to solve problems rather than forceful action. After all, even professional crisis negotiators, who dealt with hostage-taking terrorists --the least reasonable people possible-- still found that showing empathy and sincerity results in a five times higher rate of success as the application of brute force. Diplomacy was almost always the best option, while violence was the last resort of the incompetent.
>
> Yet, what she had just done was the exact opposite of 'being diplomatic'.
In v1ch5 after meeting the headmaster
> In hindsight, she should have anticipated the news. Even on modern Earth, many illegal immigrants were denied their basic rights due to the fact they fell outside the legal system. Here in Hyperion, Kaede had no history, no identification, not even a hometown where she'd be recognized. It would not be an exaggeration to say that she could be 'vanished' and nobody would even miss her!
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> -- Nobody except Pascal. The same man who had caused all of her misery was also the only person who stood up for her.
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> How am I supposed to even think about this!? Kaede found herself struggling to untangle it all.
3. Kaede has never conformed to male gender expectations and should not be thought of being an 'typical boy'. This is made more apparent as the story progresses, especially when Kaede reflects on frustrations towards Russian male expectations as well as being classified as a 'herbivore' in Japan. But because the details weren't noted early, some readers immediately ran off with their assumptions. [Daybreak] is a genderbender because Kaede is specifically written as "in between" to reflect upon issues facing both genders in society.
For example, an excerpt in v1ch2
> Is the universe playing a cruel joke on me or something? Kaede couldn't help wonder. Is it because I complained too many times about all the unfair expectations placed on me just because I was born male?
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> Sure, Kaede had always been called a 'sensitive boy'. He never really fit in with what society saw as 'masculine culture'. However this was definitely NOT what he had asked for!
Also more obviously noted in the postnote on v1ch3 because I'm really tired of dealing with people who think they know behaviorial sciences just because they've read some TVtropes.
> For those of you claiming "Kaede doesn't behave as a boy should!" Well, that's because Kaede has never been a 'typical boy', nor does he have gender dysphoria. Kaede is written as an individual with SPS (Sensory Processing Sensitivity). Individuals with SPS typically have high sensitivity, conscientiousness, and empathy, traits largely identified around the world as 'feminine'. As a result, while women with SPS fit neatly into traditional gender roles, men with SPS often find themselves having difficulty matching society's expectations towards them, as these traits are the polar opposite of stereotypical 'male culture'. Kaede fits into neither gender neatly, and it's a topic that gets explored throughout the story.
4. More callouts when someone is being an asshole, especially in the sexual harrassment department. Part of the reason I had written this fiction since a lot of casual sexual harrassment/power abuse in anime bothers me and I wanted to show what it feels like from the receiver's viewpoint, but some people seem to get the wrong impression that I'm purely comedifying it. There's a reason why almost all harassment scenes in [Daybreak] are done when the receiving side is the POV of the scene.
5. Added more reminders and reflections on why Kaede is complying with the princess in volume 2. I noted in early v2 that Kaede identified the importance of maintaining a cordial relationship with Sylviane as pivotal for her welfare in this new world, though since she started off on the wrong foot and triggered Sylviane's jealousy, she really needs to bid her time until she can gain some goodwill. However this wasn't reinforced in v2ch5 - v2ch8. Many readers seem to have forgot and got really annoyed at Kaede. So had to insert a bunch to remind people that no, Kaede is not a doormat and this isn't a "bad BDSM story" / "slave fantasy" (yes the hyperboles I'm receiving are that extreme <_<).
6. Added a few reminders that no, Kaede can't just wear whatever she wants, gender notwithstanding. Society has always set standards for what is 'acceptable wardrobe' for each gender and those who wish to fit in have to follow it. (I'm amazed I have to remind some people of this... seriously?)
7. A bunch of other minor tweaks. For example Kaede's clothes. I purposefully exaggerated some descriptors since it's from her perspective and she ought to feel outraged by the clothing Pascal got her. However some people insisted on imagining that it's way more skimpy than it is. Also got a note from a reader who noted it's anachronistic so did some tweaking.