Name

Muttering. Muttering of people. A white cloth fluttered about. The surroundings cleared and then they were blurry again, cleared again and blurred again. Wires. She could see wires. And darkness. There was a quiet kind of darkness. A darkness that wrapped itself around her and comforted her. Yet upon looking at the deeper shadows it spread in her, a sense of foreboding. A muted sound of beeping and bubbles emanated from somewhere she couldn't quite pinpoint. Eventually, a high-pitched wail clawed its way into the choir of the beeping and the bubbles and it kept growing louder and louder until all she could hear was the wailing itself.

Awoken by the loud noise, she had forgotten to breathe until it dawned upon her that she was no longer in the oppressive room. She was back in reality.

The source of the sudden noise had been a glinting gold bell fixed beside the clock on the wall. The girl sat up and as she did so, she felt a coarse texture on her arms. She observed herself and now that a good rest had returned her ability to think, the realisation struck her that she had been wearing the same filthy clothes all this time. Beside her bed on a cabinet, lay neatly folded clothing. Reaching out, she unfurled the garments. It was the uniform. Everyone she had come across the day before had been wearing it. A black shirt and green pants.

Except the middle-aged man in high boots.

The girl looked around. There was no other soul in the room other than her, even after the night had passed. Beds similar to the one she was sitting on, were neatly lined up all around the room with their little wooden partners beside them, the cabinets. A large window framed a view of the outer world in the room. There were two bookshelves on each of its sides. They were almost empty, with only a few books lying about on the shelf. The books were scatters of colours against the dull, dusty mahogany of the bookshelves.

I suppose they called it the 'Newcomer's Room'? Am I the only newcomer?

Newcomer? Not a guest?

The girl wondered if she had a place to return to. A strange twinge of sadness arose in her chest.

What is it?

A wistful part of her who wanted a place to return to, appeared and surprised her.

Her dark eyes looked around and then latched themself on a book on the bookshelf without her consent as she thought about what she should do from here on.

I have to start from somewhere!

The present state of affairs was a big mystery and also even more so was her forgotten past.

She sighed. As clueless as she was, the dirt on her skin was getting quite prickly.

That was her starting point.

With a resolute face, she wrapped the uniform around her arm. Another door stood in the room other than the one she had entered from the day before. Sure enough, upon turning the doorknob, a room stretched behind it seemed to be a bathroom. A towel hung from the rod fixed on one of the walls. She entered and closed the door behind her.

The girl was trying to dry her renewed glossy black hair with the towel in the main room as she sat on the bed. Now all clean and having changed into a much cleaner uniform, her eyes noticed two shadows on the floor and her gaze shifted up to the owners of these shadows. Skadi and Skald.

"You're gonna have the Naming ceremony soon!" The dark boy named Skald announced cheerfully.

"A what?" However, there was no reply given to the girl's question and instead, the two were on her side and she found herself standing up and being ushered out of the room by Skald. Skadi offered to keep the towel in its place which she gladly complied with after thanking her.

"Remember to choose a name from 'S'," Skald informed with a grin on his face, that by now she was used to seeing. Sitharca wondered if the grin ever went away or if it was omnipresent. But she had more important questions to ask,

"Wait a minute! What ceremony? What name? Why S?!" she stammered, stamped her feet and stopped. The three were in the passageway now. Other children appeared to be doing their daily chores; one by the pillar was scrubbing the floor, another by the window was pretending to dust the windows, whereas another had given up on pretending was simply chatting with his friends. All of them turned to look at the commotion, however, their interest was quite short-lived and they went back to whatever they had been doing.

Skadi sighed. Skald's formal grin turned to a self-important grin (it is really fascinating how many types of grins exist, she thought). He was about to answer and assert his dominance over the confused poor human by showcasing his knowledge, however Skadi interrupted,"You're too noisy." She turned to look at the newcomer. "You see he likes to flaunt his knowledge since he barely has any."

"Hey, that was very unnecessary." Skald looked quite offended and a dramatic hurt expression was plastered on his face.

The girl laughed for the first time as far as she remembered but then it turned into a sad smile,"You two remind me of…something."

She wasn't quite sure what she was being reminded of but there was an empty darkness in her mind in which no light of remembrance shone.

However, her thoughts were put in words by Skadi.

"You don't remember anything about yourself don't you?"

It was true indeed. The girl remembered absolutely nothing about herself, not even something as basic as a name. She would have felt extremely lost were it not for the constant company of the two ever since she stepped out of the forest. She looked back again to the sources of the companionship.

"Yes, but how do you know that?" She considered it better to be on guard due to the statement, for her vulnerable position had just been brought to light.

Skadi’s hazel eyes looked directly at her with utmost seriousness and she spoke, "You're not the only one."

Skald, who was annoyed by the interruption before, rested his elbow on Skadi’s head as Skadi was very short. "So you see, 'they' give us a name while we're here." He continued with a flourish of one of his other hand, "A new identity. A rebirth!"

A new identity…A rebirth?!

All of it sounded great and noble however none of it really helped in clearing the fog in her head.

Skadi raised Skald's arm from her head and glared at him before continuing to walk. Skald chuckled and followed. Yet again Sitharca had had no choice but to follow.

"Who's 'they'?" she asked.

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"Peryton, the man with the eyepatch whom you saw yesterday, is the head of The Institution. He'll be with other people in suits who call themselves The Spectres. They-."

Skald's sentence was broken off when interrupted by an ominous presence. His eyes narrowed and he looked straight up ahead. From what she could see it was a shadow just at the arched exit, round the corner, "Well, here's a Spectre. You can see one for yourself." Even though Skald still had a sly smile, his watchful eyes hadn't moved away from the Spectre. The silhouette was eerily quiet and stiff. Upon taking a few more steps to get closer to the exit, she could see a short man wearing a black coat, trousers and a grey tie. His face was covered by an angular mask which after some deciphering, she realised was supposed to resemble a mouse.

"Newcomer, your naming Ceremony is about to begin." He announced, standing there. She couldn't see the Spectre's face at all, but she, for some unknown reason, felt his eyes staring into her soul, watching her every move. It was quite eerie and she knew now why Skald had stopped mid-sentence in his presence.

"Follow me." The man turned around in a quick and elegant motion and she looked back at the other two. Skald nodded and Skadi proceeded to walk alongside her.

The girl found herself standing before the man with the eye patch whom she had seen the day before, at the Lift's Cavern. His name was Peryton if Skald was to be believed. He held in his gloved hands, a tome. Peryton was a fully grown adult much like the Spectres and even so, he towered over everyone in the Institution, even the Spectres.

There were several masked people at both of Peryton's sides each wearing a mask resembling an animal, none of them the same. However, they all wore identical suits, although the colours of their ties were yet again unique to one. The Man with the Mouse Mask was also one of them. They were all so still that not even the grass beneath them appeared to be disturbed by them. If they wore clothes that could camouflage them, they would disappear completely from one's senses since they didn't even make a single sound.

So they are the Spectres…

The Man with the Mouse Mask had led them to the ground which was encircled by the Institution's building. It was a bright day and the white walls reflected back to the sky in their own brilliance. Children in uniforms stood in rows behind her, forming an audience who muttered and whispered among themselves. Skadi and Skald had joined the audience while she was being led to Peryton and the Spectres.

She could feel the immense pressure of everyone's gaze on her.

She wiped her sweaty hands on her green pants.

Peryton opened his mouth to speak. His voice was so loud that she flinched, "Let us commence the Naming Ceremony." He pushed the tome in her direction. Peyton's voice had spread a wave of silence over the crowd.

Am I supposed to take it?

"Take the Tome of Entitlement."

He instructed when she just stood there, unsure of what to do. He looked down, his one visible sharp eye fixed on her and spoke again, "Choose your name."

Choose a name? My name?!

The next moment the book was placed in her hands and to her it felt heavy both tangibly and spiritually. Her arm and her confidence swayed under its weight. Upon regaining balance she flipped through its pages, careful not to damage the moth-eaten, fragile pages. It was quite a huge list. It was a list of what seemed like names. Some were striked through, some had both strikes and circles over them whereas some were plainly written names. She wondered if she had to choose one of the names which neither were circled nor striked and she started reading through the names which were written in plain text.

Coffey

Igna

Kairo

Quickstorm

Such strange names. They aren't divided into feminine, masculine or gender-neutral names.

She flipped that page.

That's right…Skald told me to choose a name beginning with S.

As the girl flipped more pages, she also noticed another thing.

They're arranged…alphabetically. Like a dictionary…

She paused and looked up from the tome.

Why do I know what a dictionary is?

When the realisation hit her with full force, she felt a hollow in her from where the information had come from. She wasn't sure where she felt it, the head or the heart.

Why do I not remember something…more important?

Her breaths echoed in her mind as she could hear them loud and clear. Her dark eyes skimmed from the face of Peryton to the audience and then back to the list on which she couldn't focus anymore.

Breathe.

I should focus on the present, The Naming Ceremony.

Focus.

Focus.

Focus.

She kept chanting.

I need to look for a name that begins with an 'S'.

She started flipping through the pages faster and even more so when she reached the section of the alphabet 'S' that she'd been looking for. She started flipping the pages faster and along with it, her heartbeat grew rapid too.

This can't be. Why?

Every single name beginning with 'S' was struck out.

There should be at least one, right?

She considered choosing a name from other letters but Skald and Skadi were the only acquaintances she had. She had no idea what would happen if she chose a name beginning with something else. And she didn't want to wager on it, especially because currently, nothing made sense to her. Her memories started back when she was running in the forest. Everything was unclear and confusing. Her decisions had nothing to be based on except the two unfamiliar acquaintances.

She looked back at the list of struck-out names.

What is a name? Something to be called by. A particular sound one reacts to. Is that all that a name is?

She didn't remember being called by any particular name. Then why did it feel that a name was something much deeper than just plain letters or a sound? Why did it feel that there was an emotion and a sense of belonging attached to it?

Why does it feel like a huge decision?

She finally found one single name after flipping back and forth multiple times which fulfilled all the criteria which was that it wasn't struck out and it began with 'S'. Only one single name left.

"Selis. I choose Selis." She announced with uncertainty.

What a strange name. It doesn't even mean anything as far as I know. Which is not a lot in my current state.

Peryton nodded and asked in a slow serious voice, "Are...you…sure?"

She didn't like how he sounded.

This process is irreversible. I won't perhaps ever come across an opportunity to choose another name again. This name would be my identity forever and it will stay with me no matter what happens to me. If I fall down the darkest depths or walk up the stairs in the sky.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Yes." She nodded, opening her eyes, "Yes. Selis shall be my name." She looked up from the book, meeting the eye of Peryton with considerable confidence in her words and her glinting eyes.

How long would she remain just a 'she'? A nameless girl. She needed a name. She needed this name.

She looked at the silent Man in the Mouse Mask and then at the audience. Her eyes instinctively searched for familiar faces in the crowd to approve of her actions; however, she could spot neither Skald nor Skadi.

"Very well. Henceforth you shall be known as Selis." Peyton boomed, closing the huge book.

There was no cheer or applause or anything resembling it. Rather, everyone was dead silent and only the calls of a distant bird from the forest below could be heard. She didn't even know why or what she had expected. Finally, Selis spotted Skald and Skadi looking at her from within the crowd. They were almost hidden from view because Skald was quite short and even more so was Skadi. From what she could understand, Skald was grinning and Skadi had a small frown on her face. She didn't know what to think of that.

Were they happy or unhappy? What did they think about her following their advice? Did they have ulterior motives?

"Dismissed!" Peryton announced abruptly breaking her chain of thoughts. The Spectres had disappeared without a trace when she had turned to look back at them from the audience.

Just how?! They were standing there just a second ago!

Strange…Everyone is very strange over here.

The ones in the uniforms dispersed eventually.

Only Skadi and Skald stood there waiting for her to walk up to them.

She…Selis…yes she was Selis now. Selis walked towards them. As she looked at the two and their very different expressions, she couldn't help but wonder what a strange place this was and what would happen next.