I hurriedly stuffed my book into my backpack before flying off the bus. I had been so caught up Lore of the Realms of Rosterous that I had almost missed my stop.

I paused, catching my breath. Fumbling out my keys I unlocked the front door. I was home. First things first, a bath, then we game.

I slung my bag off my shoulder, dropping it haphazardly by my desk. Sure, I probably should have put my kendo stuff away properly, but I didn’t have time for that. Besides, having the bag, and especially the lore book, handy might come in useful later.

I leaned over my chair, snatching today’s notes from the stack beside my headset. Oooh, an infographic on soapmaking. Seems interesting. And finally, a bath.

I perused the laminated paper while waiting for the tub to fill. Yeah, yeah lye requires wood ash from hardwood trees like ash or beech. I knew that. Hmmmm. Interesting. Using rainwater or other ‘soft water’ increases the soap’s lather. Good to know.

I sank into the scorching water, allowing the heat to melt my sweat an exhaustion away. It’s been a long day.

After washing up, I wasn’t in much hurry to abandon my warm, steamy bliss. However, sacrifices must be made for the good of the plan. Retrieving the notes, I continued reading, committing the details of the process to memory. Olive oil for lather, but tallow for stability. Keeping all the details straight was going to wear on me. But I couldn’t be certain that any particular type of oil would be available. So I needed to know every variant and possible substitution. Coconut could be used in a pinch for more hardness or lather. Castor oil should be used to make a liquid soap since it increases lather and water solubility. The list went on and on. And on that note, what the heck even is ‘Castor Oil.’ At this rate, I was going to need to add a sheet on the processing of various oils to my stack of things to memorize.

Enough dilly-dallying. Raids were on tonight and it was time to game!

Quickly wielding a towel, I dashed for my clothes, leaving the tub behind me to drain. One pair of jeans, a passably clean shirt, and one hooded sweatshirt – not sticky with sweat – later, and I was ready. I settled into my chair, fingers reaching over the desk for my headset. Pulling the strap around my head, I allowed the visor to settle over my eyes.

Log In!

The Realms stretched out before me, verdant green fields and a phantom wind assaulting my senses. A chime by my ear informed me that I had new messages. A few quick twitches and I could scan over them. Most were spam, but one was from my friend, letting me know tonight’s raid. Ugh. ‘Vigilante Project’ again. I was getting so sick and tired of that quest. The mechanics sucked, but at least the rewards were good. Which, come to think of it, is probably why players were willing to put up with respawning bosses. Unfortunately, respawning completely reset a bosses aggro, so that had a nasty habit of smacking the closest thing nearby before the tanks could recapture their attention. As a squishy melee dps, I found this tendency unfortunate. At least this was still a game so the heroes could respawn too.

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I popped out my waystone and teleported to the waypoint closest to the raid’s entrance. Being at endgame certainly had its perks.

I stepped out into a giant warehouse that the vigilantes would be attacking. Once we gathered our group, we could ‘investigate the cargo manifest’ and, like magic, we would be attacked and the raid would start. According to the lore, said vigilantes were attacking the warehouse in a desperate bid to stop a smuggled weapon shipment from reaching Roster’s Recusants. None of the other players seemed to care, for that matter. Not having read the lore or paid attention to the quest dialogue, my fellow raiders were blissfully unaware of the exact reason why chests in this quest dropped amazing arms and armour.

Oh look, everyone’s here. It’s time to play the villains once more. One of the healers is reading the manifest, while everyone else gets in position. I’m safely ensconced behind one of the crates and ready to dash out once the tanks have aggro. This is going to be great.

---

One and a half hours of heart pounding excitement later, our loot has dropped and excitement has ended. Gods am I knackered. After work this morning and kendo in the evening, my brain is just wiped. I fumble with my waystone, warping to the Big Lizard, my personal favorite inn. Technically, it is also a bar, but the content restrictions on this game mean that their strongest drink is broccoli juice. I really didn’t see the point.

Flipping the inkeep a silver, I trudged upstairs and claimed an unoccupied room. My eyes barely blinked shut, before sleep in turn claimed me.

I woke up.

Wood paneled ceiling, cracked and showing it’s age. Light streaming in the tiny rustic window. And the sweet sweet smell of lizard offal drifting up my nostrils.

Did I do it? Did I finally wake up in the game?

I could wait, and check my menu to determine if this reality was virtual or not. However, in a misguided attempt at a ‘safety feature,’ the manufacturer of my particular headset locks out player input while asleep. And it takes a little while for full functionality to return.

Instead, I elect to check the fun way. It’s simple; I just have to check and see if content moderation is still enabled. I slipped my hand into my trousers. Nope. Still as formless as a sexless Ba. I stared up at the ceiling in tortured agony. Today was going to be another long day. I sighed. Ah well, there is always tomorrow. Only one thing to do now,…

I logged out.