Jaci sat in silence in the car on the way home. Her hands fluttered over the package in her lap, fingers aching to open it and pull out the contents.
She couldn’t be distracted by this right now. Ricky was staying with her family and waiting for her at the house. He’d offered to come with her to the funeral, but she’d declined. Not only did it feel horribly awkward to have her new boyfriend attend the funeral of her ex, she also didn’t need any more fuel for the gossips.
They pulled up to the long gravel driveway leading to the two-story plantation style house. Jaci let out a little exhale when she saw the orange jeep parked in front. “Seth is here.”
Her older brother was going to school in Montana and hadn’t been able to arrive until today.
Tuesday. Four days since The Incident. Jaci closed her eyes, wishing she could go back in time and change everything.
Jaci opened the car door and stepped out, sucking in a short breath when she stepped on her ankle. She didn’t make it up the steps before Seth was there, scooping her up in his arms and hugging her forcefully.
“I’m okay,” Jaci said, trying to laugh as she patted his head.
Mrs. Rivera reached them also. She gave Seth a quick kiss on the cheek. “Glad you’re here.” Then she went inside, leaving them alone.
“Seth!” Cesar was getting out of the car now, shoving his headphones into a pocket, his face lighting up at the sight of his older brother. “Wanna play me? I can set up a second player on the game system.”
“Yeah.” Seth ran his fingers neatly through Cesar’s curly hair, the only one of the three kids to have anything besides stick-straight locks. “Get it ready! I’ll be right in.”
Jaci grinned at Seth as soon as Cesar disappeared inside. “He acts like he’s eight around you instead of almost twelve.”
“Jaci,” Seth sighed, still pronouncing her name with Spanish phonetics. “Haw-SEE,” short for Jacinta. “You’re going to kill me. It’s like I can’t let you out of my sight.”
The front door opened again, and this time Ricky popped out. The sight of his tousled light brown hair and hazel eyes sent Jaci’s heart a flutter. Would she ever get used to that? She still wanted to pinch herself to make sure he was really here, that they were really together.
Seth glanced at Ricky and stepped slightly to the side. “I always knew you were holding out for this guy,” Seth said to Jaci, a smirk returning to his eyes.
“She didn’t actually wait for me,” Ricky said. He stepped to her and touched her hand briefly, his eyes asking if she was all right. “I had to fight for her.”
“You won.” Seth moved back another step but didn’t go into the house, apparently not anxious to leave them alone.
“By default,” Ricky muttered, so softly Jaci doubted she was meant to hear. But before she could say anything, he put an arm around her and pulled her in close. “Are you all right?”
The door squeaked open again, and Mrs. Rivera poked her head out. “Children, let’s get inside,” she said in Spanish. “Hace frio hoy.”
“Did she say something about French fries?” Ricky murmured, bumping Jaci’s shoulder as he followed Seth into the house.
“No,” Jaci said, unable to keep from laughing. “She said it’s cold today.”
“Bob Saget. My Spanish isn’t so great.”
“Es muy mal,” she agreed, still laughing. The envelope beneath her elbow crinkled, and her urgency to open it came rushing back.
Seth had already disappeared into the basement with Cesar. Ricky took Jaci’s elbow as if to guide her to the living room, but she resisted, planting her feet and shaking her head.
“I just want to be by myself for a little bit.” Her bedroom. She had to get to her room.
Ricky turned to face her, his eyes probing hers. “Do you want to talk about anything?”
She remembered his comment from earlier and knew she should address it, but right now she just wanted to get to her room and examine the envelope Caleb had given her. Could it possibly hold anything that would heal her heart? “No.”
“Can I help you up the stairs?”
“No,” she said, a little sharper than she intended. Softening her tone, she said, “I want to be alone.”
“All right, that’s cool. I’ll just watch Seth and Cesar play games.” Ricky turned his face away too fast for her to read him and went down the stairs to the basement without another word.
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Careful, Jaci, her heart warned her. Only not for her sake; for his. She’d already hurt Ricky so deeply, she was lucky he’d forgiven her.
She shook it off and started up the stairs, favoring her ankle. Ricky would be fine. He was alive, after all.
She closed the door to the bedroom and sat down on her bed. Her hands trembled as she slid fingers under the tape holding the envelope together.
She had known from the size and shape that the contents were small, so she was not surprised when she tipped the envelope upside down and only a jump drive fell out. Her heart was pumping so hard that she felt like her neck was pulsing.
Pushing away from her bed, she went to her desk and opened up the laptop. She shuddered at the familiar screensaver of her and Ricky kissing. It wasn’t that the kiss had been bad; it hadn’t been; but it would always be a reminder of the night her life fell apart.
She right-clicked the computer screen and changed the screensaver. Some benevolent butterflies would do the trick.
Joey had been one of the few people she’d confided in. And then she found out he was a part of the stalking.
She looked at the small device in her hand. Before she could second-guess herself, she inserted the jump drive into the port. A file directory opened. She scanned the titles and then rearranged the list in chronological order. The first document read, “schedule patterns.”
She hovered her mouse over the file, not sure if she wanted to open it. Instead she read down the length of the titles, scanning. Her eyes landed on the very last one. This one was simply titled, “To Jaci.”
She clicked it. A word document opened up.
Jaci,
I guess you could say I’m one of those guys that plans ahead. I like to imagine the outcomes of my activities before I do them. It’s how I’ve managed to juggle football and grades. My hope was that you would never find out about my part in this. But if you’re reading this, not only did you find out, but I’m not there to explain myself.
When Mr. X came to me and asked me to watch you, monitor your comings and goings, I said no. I didn’t know you. I could already imagine an outcome where I would end up in jail or lose my scholarship or injure myself and never play football again.
Little did I know that he approached me for a reason. Not because I was popular, which is what I thought. Not because I’m irresistible, which was my second thought. He approached me because he knew my brother was going down a path that would destroy him. It would shame my family and hurt my parents, but even more it would ruin his life. He then threatened to frame Caleb for an even bigger crime. One that would guarantee life imprisonment.
I got scared. I figured it couldn’t hurt to just follow you around a bit, get to know you, do the little things he asked me to do. When he told me he also assigned Gavin to shadow you, I knew I should not be involved because Gavin’s a douche, we all know that. But I convinced myself I wasn’t doing anything wrong. If anything, I told myself I was helping your social life.
I know. I’m an idiot.
You knew from the moment you met me that I wasn’t good for you. You resented me, you treated me like something you found on the bottom of your shoe. I kind of thought that was funny. The very worst part about it was that it took all of two days for me to realize how awesome you are. You’re beautiful, smart, and caring. You gave me a chance when I didn’t deserve one. And I fell for you. Irony. If I had only taken the time to talk to you a few weeks earlier, this quiet girl in my class, maybe our relationship would have developed without any manipulation. But I swear to you, Jaci, I was not pretending.
At first I just went with it. I was getting to spend time with you, and getting to know you, doing everything that he wanted me to do, and nobody was getting hurt. I delivered the little messages just like I was expected to. But then one of them made you freak out. And then Gavin began to send you messages, and I realized that between the two of us, we were terrorizing you.
So I told him I wanted out.
The next thing I knew, I was getting a call from the police telling me my brother had been arrested. Maybe you remember. We were on a date when they called. I understood the message. I couldn’t get out.
My next best option was to remove myself from you. To distance myself emotionally. I tried. I did, and I’m so sorry I failed. I didn’t want to be away from you.
So I plunged onward. Even when I knew I shouldn’t. Even when I knew our relationship was nothing but a ticking time bomb.
Finally it became clear this was meant to hurt you. And now that I know what’s going on, I’m not going to let them. I will stop this. I expect there to be backlash. Mr. X made a lot of threats to me, and I’ve documented them. I’ve documented everything from the beginning, just like he told me to. I’m including all of those documents here. If they’re too painful to read, don’t. If you have questions, if you want to see everything, maybe they will help you find peace. I am sorry I am not there to explain my actions and apologize in person.
That was the end of it. The tears trailed down Jaci’s face uninhibited. She closed her computer. Deep, gut-wrenching sobs pulled up from her stomach, and she stumbled to her bed
Discovering Joey had actually cared for her soothed some of the betrayal, but it also made his death that much more painful.
She cried into her pillow until even the tears dried up and there was nothing left but soft little gasps.
She opened her eyes to a tapping at the bedroom door. A quick glance around the room showed that dusk was upon her, and the muted reds and oranges from outside darkened her room. She must’ve slept for hours, yet she didn’t feel rested.
“Come in,” she croaked.
The door opened a smidgen, and she peered around the headboard to see who was checking on her.
Seth. He poked his head in and, seeing her on the bed, let himself into the room. He sat down backward in the chair at her desk. He rested his arms across the top. “You okay?”
“I’m processing. Going to Joey’s funeral, seeing his family, suddenly makes it all so—” Her throat closed up, and she whispered, “Real.”
Seth’s eyes turned to the carpet. He studied it for a moment before lifting his gaze again. “Are you okay with everything else that happened?”
With The Incident.
“I can move past that. The only thing I can’t move past is Joey’s death. It’s not something that can be fixed.”
Seth bounced his chin on the back of his hand, his somber eyes studying her. “I’m sorry, Jaci.”
She hesitated a moment. She hadn’t told anyone about her contact with her father, a wanted criminal for his involvement in a mafia ring. But she couldn’t keep it inside anymore. “I talked to Dad. Before Joey died.”
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