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Chapter 10 - Shame

In Chapter Author's Notes: This chapter might trigger some people. It's the reason the story is tagged with 'Sensitive Content.' Please feel free to skip it. Minor Spoilers: Yu Han reaches a decision on what happens in this chapter on chapter 13, and this mini-mini-arc is then resolved on chapter 15. I would be grateful if you could read until then before coming to a decision about the story and the main character. I want to make one thing very clear: This is Fiction, not Reality. I, the author, am not glorifying nor defending the actions taken by bad people in this chapter. Thank you for reading, hope to see you in the comment sections soon. (((><)))

Edit 07/11/2024: This is a rewritten version of the original chapter, for which I had put the above content warnings.

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Huang Niuniu’s green eyes widened, and her voice shook. She raised two trembling arms like she was shielding herself. There were red streaks on her hand, bruised and bloody, as if she had been whipped.

Two guys blocked her from behind. Recruits from the same city as Wu Di.

“Come quickly, Niuniu. Pay respects to Senior Brother Wu Di. No other daughter of a prostitute will get such honour,” Huang Linxue said with a smile. Her tone was full of concern for Huang Niuniu, but even the stupidest among them knew what was going on. “Are you defying my orders?”

“Sister. I—Lord Father wished me to—”

“Stop that.” Huang Linxue’s voice fell, but her smile stayed. “How can a prostitute’s daughter be my sister?”

“What are you… saying?” Huang Niuniu tried to take another step back. Someone pushed her from behind.

“That’s the girl the ninth prince is fascinated by?” Wu Di licked his lips. “Senior Brother Qiao. I haven’t slept on ships much, but I imagine it might be similar to camping out during war. The nights do get too lonely without a wench.”

Wu Di had a tall, lean physique, with broad shoulders and huge biceps. He wore a robe without an undershirt, showing off his chiselled body. His red hair was tied in a ponytail with a phoenix ribbon. A scar ran down one brow, making his crimson eyes more menacing. Like an arrogant cock surveying his territory.

“Her mother was the flower of all the scholars before she passed,” Huang Linxue added. “I’m sure she was taught all the ways to please a man. Otherwise, how could his majesty the ninth prince be so infatuated with her, and not me, who is of proper noble lineage? She’ll serve you well.”

“Is that so? Stealing a wench from that arrogant prick, can’t say this Lord Wu Di isn’t tempted.”

Qiao Jinhai watched over the conversation without any expression. “It’s the same ninth prince who chose to go to Severing Sky Sword Sect rather than our Verdant Blade Sect?”

“None other.” Wu Di grinned.

“Let me go! Let me go—!” Huang Niuniu’s cries rang out. She struggled but could not escape the grasps of the two brutes. “Sister, don’t do this. Sister, I’ve never talked with Brother Chu Fei aft—”

“How dare a courtesan’s daughter call him Brother?” Huang Linxue covered her mouth with a fan and giggled. “Think of this as punishment for stealing a ginseng from my bag, Niuniu. I now feel like the whipping wasn’t punishment enough.”

“Reward, you mean.” Wu Di said.

“Indeed, reward.” Huang Linxue giggled.

“We’re… sisters…” Huang Niuniu broke down crying.

No one helped her. No one cared.

Not even Yu Han.

“Junior Niuniu, serve Junior Wu Di well. He is someone meant for greatness,” Qiao Jinhai said.

“No, no no no—” Huang Niuniu bit the arm of one brute holding her down. He yelped, and she took the chance to slip out of his grasp.

“Help!” She ran towards the stairs.

“You dare defy me?” Qiao Jinhai rose, his voice trembling. “Halt, wench!”

He snapped his fingers, and Huang Niuniu collapsed.

“Help… somebody, help.” She fell in front of Yu Han, who had been watching from near the stairs with Li Yao, ready to bolt any moment.

“P-Please,” Huang Niuniu said, looking straight at him.

Yu Han turned away. He needed no drama. He was just a fatty. Weak. Pathetic. Spineless. What could he even do?

He could run! Huang Niuniu was so close. He could grab her and—

Stop. His inner Johan demanded. Do you have a death wish?

Qiao Jinhai snapped his fingers again. Huang Niuniu’s legs cracked from the knees. Her wails were heart-wrenching.

“Senior Brother Qiao, you have my thanks—” Wu Di was about to bow to the senior brother, but was cut off by Qian Jinhai’s raised hand.

Qiao Jinhai leapt down, his face twisted into the wrathful visage of an asura.

Everyone parted like the red sea as he walked to the fallen girl.

“A mere mortal…. A worthless creature with trash-like Common Talent dares to defy my words?” Qiao Jinhai’s voice was a low, grating snarl, his jaw clenched so tightly it sounded like grinding metal. With a flick of his finger, Huang Niuniu’s head snapped upward, her entire body following as if yanked by an unseen force. She dangled midair, held by an invisible grip.

Her legs hung like broken sticks, like plastic straws that had been chewed through. Blood and urine dripped from her ripped trousers onto the floor. A nasty stink was in the air. She had lost her continence.

“You think you’re above me?” Qiao Jinhai loomed over her, his eyes blazing. “Just like the others, looking down on me because I haven’t broken through?”

Huang Niuniu sobbed uncontrollably. “P-Please… mercy… I—I…”

“Again you talk back. Again you all look down on me!” Qiao Jinhai glared.

“I—I—”

Qiao Jinhai seized her head and slammed it against the floor.

“P-Pleas—”

“You dare defy me?” He smashed her head down again.

Blood splattered. Bones shattered. The floorboards cracked.

“Every single one of you!” He spat on her crumpled form and, unsatisfied, delivered a vicious kick, sending her limp body rolling across the ground, her face now a bloodied, unrecognizable mess. “Looking down on me.”

The kick sent her rolling over. She had long passed out; her face an unrecognisable mess.

No one spoke. The silent was overpowering, the only sound being Qiao Jinhai’s ragged breathing.

“Take her to the holding cells below,” Qiao Jinhai commanded. “I’m not done with her. There needs to be an example of what happens when a mortal defies a Lord Cultivator.”

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“Leave it to this Wu Di,” Wu Di cupped his hands.

“Collect her teeth and blood. The sect will fetch a good price for her as a cultivation cauldron.” Qiao Jinhao said.

A few more disciples heeded his commands.

Wu Di picked up Huang Niuniu and slung her over his shoulder like a sack.

“Move out of the way, Fatty,” the larger youth commanded. He had a dissatisfied expression, as if he was denied something owed to him.

“O-Oh, yes.” Yu Han scurried aside. He’d been dazed.

Get yourself together. I have to become stronger so this kind of stuff can’t happen to me.

Wu Di walked down the stairs, and Huang Niuniu’s unconscious figure disappeared under the eaves.

***

“Did you hear the cries? It was like a ghost was screaming. Crazy.”

“Don’t talk about it when Wu Di’s around. He’s upset about his fun being ruined.”

“Yeah, well, he should complain to Senior Qiao.”

“He did, man.”

“Seriously?”

“I think Senior Qiao will let him have her soon.”

“I bet she’ll enjoyed it. Why did she put on a whole show when it’s much better to serve Wu Di than to get nearly beaten to death?”

The hell you mean rape is better than—no, Yu Han, stop thinking about it. Yu Han tried his hardest to filter out the chatter. This was a fault of the era. Gender equality was a product of prosperous times, and feminism was a cancer anyway. He hated when his ex would drone on and on about it.

Hot soup went down the wrong pipe, and Yu Han choked, gulping down a jug of water, not caring if it wet his clothes.

“Everything fine, tubs?” Li Yao asked.

“Just tired.”

He’d tossed and turned in bed all night. His rebellious mind kept going back to what had happened. How he could’ve helped.

How he didn’t.

It’s not that I didn’t! Yu Han had assured himself like self-hypnosis, all the way until dawn. I couldn’t. Qiao Jinhai would’ve killed me—

“You brought that Cow Girl to the ship, right?”

“I guided her, not brought. Like Senior Qiao said.”

“Don’t tell me you like her?”

Yu Han’s chopsticks clattered against the ceramic bowl. He held them tighter so that they wouldn’t slip. But he held them too tight, and they broke.

“...fuck. The hell I do,” he wheezed out.

“Sorry, that was a bad joke.” That was the first time Li Yao had sincerely apologised for anything. “The strong bully the weak. I wonder if it’s the same in sects.”

“Most definitely,” Yu Han said.

He headed for the training hall. On the way, two guys bumped into him.

“Watch it, fatty!” one yelled.

“So how was it?” the other guy asked his companion. “You went to deliver food to that wench, right?”

“It’s crazy. She’s all healed up with this immortal elixir. It glowed like emeralds. After forcing her to chug it down, Senior Qiao chained her to the wall and—” He stopped.

“And what?”

“She was naked,” the other one gulped. “That body… hot damn. She was glowing.”

“I bet she was.”

“I mean literally. Maybe cause of the elixir? Wu Di was there too and—”

“So that’s why he was so pissed!”

“Yeah, he almost lost it like a dog in heat. Would’ve bedded her then and there if not for Senior Qiao.”

“You mean walled her?”

Both of them guffawed.

“Don’t tell this to anyone. Senior Qiao first said he was gonna break each of her bones one by one while having her stay awake. He changed his mind after she glowed.”

“Damn. Does he want to keep her as a wench now? I’m jealous.”

“We’re gonna be cultivators, my friend. And then we’ll have as many immortal elixirs and women as—the fuck you looking at, fatty?” the second guy said.

“Huh?” Yu Han came to. “What?”

“You’ve been glaring at us. Got a problem, buddy?”

“Oh, no no. You misunderstand, I slept poorly last night. My eyes are itchy.”

“Then keep your head down. People might think you’re picking a fight.” The two walked away.

Yu Han touched his face.

Am I going crazy?

He pushed himself the hardest he could that day.

Days passed. It had been forty-five days since he had come to this world.

Yu Han was on the deck. The sky was cloudy. All around, as far as the eye could see, there was only water. The birds had left too.

Qiao Jinhai had been staring at the sea recently, for hours on end, muttering something. Everyone could see he was worried.

But about what?

Recently, he had been dreaming more about his life as Johan. Sometimes, memories as Yu Han with a loving family would appear too.

Progress with Echoing Dreamscape had slowed. Deep Sleep and his Character Level progressed as usual.

Name: Yu Han (Johan)

Level: 0

True Qi: 44 (+5)/110

Pure Qi: 10/110

Arts:

Deep Sleep

Type: Bloodline

Grade: Mortal Level 1

Mastery: Initial Step Level 1

True Qi: 66 (+10)/200

Echoing Dreamscape

Type: Auxiliary

Grade: Mortal Level 9

Mastery: Initial Step Level 3

True Qi: 11 (+7)/400

After what happened to Huang Niuniu, Yu Han had spent even more time in the training hall. He made a very obvious show of training with his dagger.

Li Yao had gathered the riffraff from White Lotus Kingdom into a cohesive, if chaotic, group. This group treated Yu Han well, and otherwise kept their heads down. The White Lotus nobles were the ones who were mainly being bullied.

But that had nothing to do with him.

That night, inside the white space of Deep Sleep—

Let’s see if this works.

A mirage of Li Yao appeared.

“This is how you use a dagger, tubs. You aim up, from under the ribcage. Watch closely.”

The illusory Li Yao demonstrated a series of quick, precise movements—a thrust to the kidney, a stab under the armpit, a disarming flick of the wrist.

“Speed and surprise, that’s your advantage,” his mirage explained, miming concealment of the weapon in loose sleeves. “Aim for soft spots. One good hit. Let him bleed out.”

The mirage disappeared.

Yu Han summoned a dagger with Echoing Dreamscape, then imitated Li Yao’s movements.

“Not enough,” he said.

He summoned Li Yao’s mirage again. He imitated Li Yao, going through the motions mechanically.

The Yu Han of this world had zero fighting experience, and Johan had only gone to the gym to get an aesthetic physique. He had never dabbled in martial arts.

Thrust. Parry. Slash. Again.

Even now, the dagger felt alien in his pudgy hands. Many times, it slipped out. If this were the real world, he would have injured himself ten times over.

Yu Han kept analysing each movement.

Up from the ribcage. Between the ribs. Aim for the kidney.

Even in this mirage-like space of Dream Sleep, sweat beaded on his brow. Or was it his avatar?

His arms ached, his breathing stuttering.

Speed is key. Element of surprise. One good hit!

Images flashed unbidden—Huang Niuniu’s bruised hand, Qiao Jinhai’s insecure rage, Wu Di’s leering grin, the indifferent faces of bystanders.

Including his own.

None of my business.

He practised concealing the blade in his sleeve, drawing it smoothly.

They won’t see it coming.

His movements became sharper, more desperate. The dagger blurred in the dim light. Yu Han’s eyes narrowed, focused on an imaginary opponent. In his mind, it wore Wu Di’s face.

One good hit. Let them bleed out.

Yu Han stopped, then threw the imaginary dagger away.

“Why the hell am I so bothered?” he shouted out. The sound didn’t even echo.

Yu Han plopped down on his back, speaking aloud. “I know it’s Huang Niuniu. What happened to her bothers me.” He raised his palms in front of his face.

But she’s not my type, Yu Han thought, trying to dive deeply into his psyche. He swore he wouldn’t fool himself. After all, even if he tried, he couldn’t lie to himself.

Other than a slight lustful urge every teenager felt towards girls, Yu Han didn’t feel anything. His heart didn’t flutter, his mind didn’t go blank.

It wasn’t lovesickness.

The same went for Johan. The girl’s physique resembled his ex far too much. It made him wary and on guard rather than attracted.

“Then what is it?”

Yu Han remembered an incident. After Elder Brother had saved that snake Jie Tong from drowning, Yu Han had begged his parents to not let him go empty-handed. They paid for medicine, and seeing Jie Tong was a strong lad with seemingly decent character, they gave him a job.

From time to time, Yu Han would give food away for free to customers who looked like they couldn’t pay. They were leftovers, nothing to his family. Apparently, he’d given food to Li Yao once, though he couldn’t remember it. There were many such incidents.

Yu Han had a big, fat, righteous bone in him.

And now, half of him was Yu Han, truly and purely. He wasn’t replaced by Johan. Their memories, souls, and personalities seemed to have melded into one confused mess. As if it was Yu Han who remembered his past life as Johan.

The half that was Johan was still quintessentially him, though.

Yu Han cringed into a ball.

“I can’t fucking believe it,” he said, covering his face. “I want to stand up for her because it’s the right thing to do.”

The answer felt right. It felt just. As if his whole being accepted it as the only plausible conclusion.

“Nope, nope. No way in hell. Fuck that shit. I stick my neck out for no one.” Yu Han slapped his cheeks, repeating the famous quote.

The conclusion was false! There had to be some other reason. And even if it was correct, Yu Han had literally no other reason to stand up to an insecure maniac who could kill him with a sneeze. Not to mention that rapist redhead with supposedly infinite future talent. Even if Qiao Jianhai spared him, Wu Di might keep a grudge and make his life in the sect hell.

The data points just weren’t there.

She was whipped because she gave me that medicine.

Two was not enough. Two strikes aren’t out. Yu Han wasn’t delusional; he wasn’t some hero with plot armour.

The next day, he tried what he practised in the training hall. The dagger slipped from his hand.

“Be careful with that, tubs.” Li Yao jumped back.

“Why won’t it work?” Yu Han said to no one.

“You think you’re some kind of prodigy?” Li Yao shook his head, hitting the dummy with a wooden sword. “It takes weeks before you get a foot in. Months to be decent, and years to be a master.”

“But…” Yu Han sighed. In his dreams, he saw fast progress. But apparently, training in Deep Sleep didn’t create muscle memory in real life.

It was weird, though. The dagger felt at home now. He had the feeling, the instinct from all that practice. Right until he actually practised. The moment his physical body moved, that feeling disappeared, as if forgetting a word at the tip of his tongue.

The strange feeling nagged him, and he tried one more time.

And an accident happened. The dagger nicked the area between his thumb and index finger. Blood gushed out like a fountain. “Fuck!”

“Stop standing there and go to the doctor.” Li Yao said, disbelief on his face. “Press that down with a cloth!”

The wound was deep. It hurt, and Yu Han’s eyes grew blurry with tears. Li Yao helped him down the stairs.

Standing by the doctor’s door were Huang Niuniu and Huang Linxue.