Chapter 18

Friends

Grey sat in a stupor, depressed. All the things that had made him who he was were being distorted...changed. He could not put a finger on it, but it was as if reality was different. That the books he had read were wrong. He sat in his bed thinking all night. On Iris's words. He had done those things to himself. He had caused himself misfortune and killed many people. But was it really his fault? No...It can't be.

Good things happen to  good people. You treat others as you would treat yourself. He had saved Mylene because it was right. He had ran from the monsters because the only choice was to die. He went after his family because his family had loved him. But even so...he could not deny that what she had said was true...that he had caused the people around him such great pain. His face contorted in anguish. What was right? What was wrong? In his mind. Grey was no longer sure.

The next morning. Iris stood by Grey's room. She entered like she had always had. A light tap on the on the door and in she came. She had a herbal tea with her. His favorite. Jasmine with a lotus stem dipped into its center. He could not see the flower, but the smell told him it was there. His tongue lightly dipping into the cup. He could taste its soft but sweet texture. He coughed, having drank the tea a little too fast then settled down in his bed.

"Iris?" he said, feeling the warmth of her hand on his. "You came a little early today? Is there something happening?"

His eyes staring blankly in front of him. Grey could usually felt the warmth of the sun when Iris came in his room. His world was a pitch black, filled with nothing but touch and sound. Hot and cold. Loud or quiet. This was his world now. An empty place of voices and feelings. Where everything had a vague and unshaped form. His mind turned to fill in these senses with a familiar scenes, and while Grey could not see. He imagined this room as if it were his room back in his home. A room fill of books. Where his mother would come in one day and tell him to come downstairs to eat breakfast.

"There are some children I wanted you to meet," said Iris, holding his hand. "They are kind of like you and I think you might enjoy a little company being in your room all the time. Will you walk with me outside?"

Grey nodded, "Okay."

He took his walking stick at the side of the bed. His feet touching the hard floor. He stood up and with Iris made his way outside. The sounds of laughter could be heard as children raced back and forth through the grass. The wind blew lightly and pressed on his short hair, causing it to wave in front of his head. A boy's voice came from Grey's right.

"Oh! He is finally out!" said the boy excitedly. He ran to Grey and suddenly grabbed his hand, shaking it violently.

"The name is Bernard. My father named me after some bear in the woods. So that I would be as strong as a bear. See how strong I am!"

Grey could feel the boy crushing his hand. It was painful but there was a sort of playfulness in the boy's voice that made Grey smile. Grey heard several more children approach him.

"Hi Grey. My master said that we would be meeting someone special today! He must mean it was you. We heard quite a few things about you. Sorry if we are too straightforward. My name is Ciara."

Grey felt Bernard release his grip and a softer hand take its place.

"H-Hi Ciara," stuttered Grey, surprised. He did not expect to meet people all at once and was a little overwhelmed.

"Haha, look what you did. Now he is scared!" said another boy's voice.

"No, he isn't! He just a little surprised that's all," replied Ciara, pouting.

"Haha, okay okay. No need to look so upset," laughed the boy. Grey could feel a rougher hand come and shake his hand. "My name is Madison. I heard that you had some bad things happen to you. Don't worry. Things will get better. If you are in trouble I will definitely help you out."

"T-Thank you," nodded Grey. His chest lightening. He shook hands with every child in the group. Bernard, Ciara, Madison, Lutz, Max, Oswin, Richard, Fritz, Madeline, Hadu, Alexis, and Rille. Twelve children. Thirteen including himself.

Iris clapped her hands, calling the attention of all the children happily surrounding Grey. "Okay, that's enough. Don't bother Grey too much."

"Yes, Mrs. Iris." said all the children in unison. Grey could feel the vague shapes leave him. He could imagine the smiles on their faces.

"Now, does anyone know why I called you here?"

"Oo! I know! I know!" said Madeline. Her voice as lithe as a nightingale.

"Yes? Madeline."

"You wanted us to meet Grey!"

"Haha, that's not the only reason."

Bernard raised his hand next. His voice as fierce as a tiger.

"Ha! I have it. Mrs. Iris is it time for our awakening?"

Iris laughed. "Ah, that's right."

She walked towards him and ruffled his hair. He blushed.

"Smart child. You are all of age. It's time for you all to undergo your Ritual of Awakening."

"Ritual of Awakening?" whispered Grey. He remembered he too had yet to undergo his Ritual of Awakening. "Iris! Could you mean me too?"

"Of course. You told me you could use aura. It is only natural you undergo the ritual as well."

"But," Grey said, "I won't be able to cast spells even if I do go through the ritual. I am blind."

Magic had three steps. Conceptualization. Formation. And Actualization. While Grey would be able to imagine his magic in his hand and form it once he underwent the ritual. The last step was impossible. Actualization required him to perceive his magic with his senses to make it real. Without sight. He could not properly bring out the magic. It would always come out as a bodiless blob of mana. A reflection of the vagueness he perceived in his surroundings.

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"Grey. Do you think what is written in books is always right?"

Grey head moved curiously.

"Are you saying what I read was wrong?"

"No," smiled Iris, "I am saying books do not describe the whole world. If they do not describe something it doesn't mean it is impossible."

"Then...." said Grey, thinking about his disability.

"If it has not been written. It only means someone hasn't figured out a way to do it. Grey, you are a bright child. Do you think you will not figure out a way?"

"I...." said Grey, thinking. "I don't know until I try."

"That's right," smiled Iris. "Grey. You are still young. While you have made some mistakes is there not time to change? I teach this group of children magic. Will you let me teach you too? Not only magic, but to help you live in a happy manner?"

Grey looked at Iris, questioningly. Long years of suffering had left him unable to fully trust people but Iris had taken care of him for many months. Giving him food and kindly changing his bed. In her, he could feel such warmth that he had not felt in a long time. In his heart, he could not bear to be alone. If he said no. Would she leave him? Like everyone else? He did not think his heart could take anymore sad things.

He bowed his head. " If I said no, wouldn't that mean? Iris, I don't think I have said it properly, but thank you. I-I had thought I would be dead, but you have been so kind. Please teach me. I promise I will listen to everything you say," tears trickled down Grey's face. Remembering all that happened to him. Wasn't his life right now so comfortable? He wished for such peace for the rest of his life.

Iris smiled. She gently stroke Grey's head.

Bernard laughed. "Grey no need to be so sappy. You not know all of us have had such bad stuff too? We also made a lot bad choices. Even if Iris doesn't tell you. We will help you figure out right from wrong."

Grey nodded. "Thank you."

The children gathered around Grey and hugged him to comfort him.

~~~

On a large wagon sat thirteen children in two rows. Grey sat in the middle between Ciara and Oswin. Iris drove the wagon in the front. She gently heaved the reigns and the horses galloped on the dirt road. Their destination the 123th Dungeon. The Forest Dungeon of Alvis located in the Plains of the Undying Lands. A Ritual of Awakening can only be done in focal points, locations of power where the magic naturally gathers in the world. Here where magic is the most abundant one could break the barriers that naturally separated body from mind. To be able to think through your senses. This abstract feeling that only ones that possess magic could obtain. The Ritual of Awakening!

Grey sat. The world bumping up and down around him. The darkness had become familiar. No longer scary or vague. The comfort of knowing the people around you cared for you. This feeling. Grey truly cherished. Lutz opened his mouth first.

"So let's go over it one more time. If you see a man on the road hunched back asking for food what do you do?"

"I help him and give him food?" replied Grey.

"Nu uh," said Lutz, shaking his head. "You have to remember where you are. The road is full of dangerous things. Think of the worst case. If it's a bandit attack will you want to fall into a dangerous situation? Leave him. The most important person is you."

"B-But?" said Grey. He could feel his heart chipping away. "Wouldn't that be cruel if he was telling the truth."

"There are a lot of sad things in the world," said Madeline across from Grey. "Can one person save everyone? Also, without knowing his story do you go through things assuming everyone is nice? That only invites bad things to happen."

"Right," said Max two rows down. "A person should know the faults of their victims. By knowing you can truly help the world. Kindness is not something to be given on whim but something that requires careful thought."

Grey nodded. Their words made sense and sank into his heart.

"Grey do you truly understand? There is no good or bad. Only people. To be happy you have to let go of these feelings. They weigh you down," said Alexis. He could feel her hair waving in the air. Tiny strands lightly brushing on his cheek. "By seeing the world through feelings and not with your head. You are bound to make mistakes."

"And some mistakes can't be undone," said Richard, humbly. "Even if you feel a pain in your heart. Your head must win. Take for example a dog drowning by a river. Do you go to save it or leave it alone?"

"I-I...." said Grey, hesitating. "I would save it?"

Rille shook her head. She had a deep voice. One that was pleasing to the ears. "You should leave the dog alone Grey. The river has many dangers. If you go in and get eaten by some river monster it is over. Let things take its natural course. If in the wilds that dog had no help it would be natural to die. See the world for what it is. Not what you want it to be."

See the world for what it is. Not what you want it to be. These words echoed in Grey's head.

"So repeat after me. I would let the dog die."

Grey could feel his heart breaking. His mouth opened. Every fiber of his body rejecting everything that came out his mouth. He had to say it. He could not make another mistake again. Could not let more people around him die.

"I would let the dog die." he croaked, his voice trembling.

"Again," said Rillee.

"I would let the dog die."

"Again!"

"I would let the dog die!"

"I would let the dog die," said Grey, coughing.  His voice cracking. His voice making his words true in his head. Iris heard this from the front of the wagon and smiled.