I cannot be left alone with my thoughts right now.
The adrenaline caused from my deeds back in the forest was wearing out and I was suddenly coming to terms with myself. I walked nonstop for hours, without thinking, just moving forward following my survival instinct and using a potion to prevent me from sleeping. Once I reached the main road to Listeria, the sun was about to rise and several merchant wagons were heading there. In exchange for the fruits I had left from the trip, one of them accepted me as a passenger; thanks to still being dark outside and the scarf covering half of my face, he did not notice my appearance. Now I am sitting on the back of his cart, waiting for the guards at the entrance to let us in.
Memories from my past and this life mix and I feel like I cannot discern between them. I just killed Yukino, my classmate in the past and a fellow elf here, my actions cannot be forgiven in any of those worlds. I keep repeating to myself that she must be in a better place now, surrounded by her family and slowly recovering her life. It should be that way, for my sanity and for the sake of the mission I have given myself it must be that way.
“Missy, could ya step outside. The knights here wanna take a look at them spices.”
“S-sure.”
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I was taken aback by the old man’s sudden yell coming from the front. Slowly grabbing my belongings, I stepped down from the cart to let the guards inspect it. The sun was already up but the cold wind caressed my face, reminding me I was still alive, somehow this body does not feel like mine anymore.
“Everything is in order.”
After a few minutes of looking around, one of the big guys in shiny armor declared and then handed a piece of paper to his partner. Then, both of the knights looked suspiciously at me.
“Young lady. Due to the increase on the number of thieves this year, our great King Roland III is requiring every visitor to state his name and purpose before entering Listeria.”
What a convoluted way to ask for my name.
My name…
“She is an elf, like the ones from yesterday. Can you speak Listerian young lady?”
The other knight noticed my surprised expression and got closer to me. I understood him perfectly, but I did not know how to answer the question.
I do not deserve to be called Nana Shimura, I lost that right when I turned my back to the people I left at home.
I do not deserve to be called Agafya, I lost my place as an elf by betraying mother Jörð and now I am a mere beast.
“M… Maria.”
“Maria? Is that your name?”
“Yes, I am Maria. I am just traveling from the elven village.”
“I know you elves rarely cause trouble, but please behave yourself while on the city, Lady Maria.”
I know there is a human here.
I know what I must do when I find them.
This is the reason why I must stay in this world and, until I complete my task, I am going to take the name of the patron saint of our academy.
Maria, the dark elf.